Boyfriend[M 30] of 5 years says marriage will never happen, expects my[F,28] input on his mortgage I pay rent to.

Dating for 5 years, lived together for 3 of them. Recently brought up marriage( not needing a wedding) for tax benefits as well as hospital visitation and health decision rights. He adamantly opposes ever marrying.

Ok, we live together. I pay him rent which goes towards his mortgage. I dutifully do so even when I was on unemployment and it would have meant the world to me for him to say "you're in a low place right now, you don't have to pay this month while you job search and buy groceries/cover utilities and your own phone bill. But that would never happen. He knows my pay schedule and delights in reminding me "tomorrow you get paid, rents coming up might as well send it over tomorrow".

We split meals when we eat out. I treat him to movies and nice dinners when I can, and vice versa. He reminds me when I haven't treated him in awhile. I had to beg him to cover a hospital visit that I could pay back in one day for an emergency(and did), because he refuses in his words "to take care of you". Alright cool now i'm feeling like I can't rely on him for emergencies. Literally told me don't go to the ER it's too expensive, wait until morning it can't be that bad. It was actually bad. And in the morning reminds me my condition that night made him lose sleep.

But he is refinancing his mortgage and he constantly wants to discuss this with me, the value of his property, and is upset when I am not invested in the conversation as he is. I feel like a secretary. He is angry that I don't want to go to his HOA meetings with him. He is angry that I don't want to emotionally invest in what his property will be worth in 5 years, or work with him to change things in the HOA and neighborhood.

I work and pay him rent and that is how it will always be between us so I don't feel the need to help him with his mortgage any more than paying my rent towards it. I plan any vacation he wants to go on and always cover my half of transit and housing, and write down what we ate and what we spent so when we come home we know exactly who spent what.

It is exhausting. Money is discussed daily in this house, did I pay him back for my half of last nights Uber? He bought dinner last night so he reminds me tonight its my turn. He bought me a beer so I should cover the food. Money money money. No partnership. I'm not a succubus or a gold digger but I feel like I'm treated like I'm an opportunistic one. I don't give a SHIT about your refinancing because it doesn't affect me. Why is that not good enough of an answer to end the conversation?