Pretty much how I feel right now.... http://imgur.com/ImNuzUk

Its been a while since I got dick wet and loneliness has been creeping up on me. It started during a friends road trip sharing a bed with a ex college cheerleader, a fucking 105lb flyer. As she has a boyfriend not attending and we were all among couples it was best to just to play it cool. So as I woke at 2am, just staring over (like a fucking creep) hoping, fucking wishing the bitch would slide over just a few more inches, hell I would take anything at this point just to have a bitch close. And her subtle excuse to not share a bed earlier in the evening still kind of stung. Regardless the balls remained blue.

A week later I get a drunken call from another friend, she is a climbing hippie groupie. Meaning if if you could climb, this bitch would fuck you (I dont climb). In her blacked drunken mess she called me, scared and lost I eventually find her. She was drinking with some dude and became too fucked up.

Of course I "rescued" her and she did not want me to leave when I got her in her door. We sat on the couch and she wanted me to run my fingers through her hair as she coped with her massive drunken stupor as she laid across me. At this point I am stating my intentions that I am going to be leaving soon.

I then start to hear of this evening, and bla bla bla, this dude and that dude. How she fucked up this or that up who knows. I am thinking dumb nasty bitch fucked up her night, and now she gets a dude to coddle her on the fucking couch. She could have a condom hanging out her snatch for all I fucking know.

It then hit me, fuck... this is what my lonely ass wanted? right?... to fucken cuddle with a chick in my arms... I dont fucking want this and what the fuck am I even doing here. Could you imagine if I was stuck with a slut who regularly fucks mountain climbers, gets blacked out drunk on a regular basis. In the back of my mind rape allegations was firing as this bitch was not too coherent as she threw her arms around me. To make matters worse, is even in her daze she did not want to necessarily fuck, she literally just wanted a warm body for her comfort. I packed up, and got the fuck out of there.

I am going to be honest, I still had bit of apprehension about her memory of last night and hoping she did not cross any of her stories with me/couch/etc, so I check in the morning and bring a bit of grub, everything is cool, my name was clean, share a coffee and get the fuck out.

I know this is not best story, but their are dudes out there who are still blue as a mother fucker. I wanted to be close to a chick, and I literally went out of my way for a drunken whore. I am ashamed, I am not proud of my actions and really fucking regret the state of mind my loneliness put me in.

TLDR beta billy wanted to cuddle with a chick, ended up being cuddle buddy/emotional tampon with a nasty whore of a woman in order to combat his loneliness.