Expectations vs outcomes.

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May 10, 2013



Second wave feminists like Walsh were able to have the best of both worlds. They were able to boldly declare their uncompromising feminist politics in their youth and yet somehow end up directed into both marriage and motherhood. They didn’t expect to “have it all”, but it just somehow happened. Fast forward a decade and the 40 something women in the Mail article describe the exact opposite. They always expected to have it all, and because they didn’t take deliberate action and make compromises they lost the opportunity to become mothers.

Post Information
Title Expectations vs outcomes.
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 17
Comments 7
Date 10 May 2013 03:09 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/4326
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1e2lpv/expectations_vs_outcomes/
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Dalrockthe red pillfeminist

[–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

they lost the opportunity to become mothers

I don't know of any woman who would let a little thing like not being married stop her from being a mother.

The opportunity they lost is to be a young, married mother with a doting husband and a happy home life. It really is a lovely ideal. I don't blame anyone for wanting it. But as the article says, they didn't take any deliberate action to get it.

Some time ago, perhaps motivated by too much alcohol, I made the mistake of talking about fight club. There's a woman my age who wants an LTR (at least) with me. I've said "no" in the past and left it at that, but this night I flat out told her that she spent her best, most attractive years, banging guys with wild abandon. She tells me her stories. I don't mind, and I don't judge. I learn a lot in fact.

But I pointed out that had she met me 10 years ago, even though I was the same guy I am now in the ways she claims are important - sane, honest, stable, in shape, a good guy - she would have turned me down. I believe I used the words, "you would have laughed at the idea of dating me" (she's hot even now but I've seen pics, and damn).

She chose the guys she chose, had lots of fun, but in the end didn't get from them the things that I would have given her - and in hindsight, she calls those guys jerks. But they're not really jerks, they're just the kind of guys who can get a girl like her, and those guys can also get a different girl just like her - an upgrade if you will. It's no more fair to call them jerks than it would be for me to call her a bitch. She made her decision and I have to respect it even if I don't like it - she has to respect their decision to upgrade even if she doesn't like it.

While I was boring, I got a graduate degree and a great career and saved up some money. Only in the last few years have I developed the skills to attract someone like her. And now she says, "wow let's get married!"

I tell her that I respect her choice to bang guys with wild abandon. But now I've decided to be the guy who gets banged with wild abandon. I would be happy to marry a 25 year old version of her, but not the current version. No thanks.

I then suggest that she date a guy about 45 years old.

It did not go over well. But it was more honesty than she's probably ever gotten in her life.

She can contact me again if she wants to, or not. I respect her choices, but she missed her opportunity. I will be there for her as a friend, I will be happy to be her lover, but she wasted her best years. These are my best years.

[–]socal833 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

honestly you should just tell her to marry some dumbass and take half his money

while still banging her.

PIMPIN AIN EZ but somebody's gotta do it

at this point there's so much game/redpill/manosphere/MRM information available on the internet, information gained through the hard work, sacrifice, and experience of others, that any man who doesn't read this shit and internalize does not deserve any kind of pity or concern.

[–]TRP Vanguardnicethingyoucanthave5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

tell her to marry some dumbass and take half his money

It must not be that easy. I happen to know that she has several rich dudes after her. One of them flew her down to Rio around Christmas time. She's happy to take those favors, and I can't believe that there haven't been offers of marriage, so she must be turning them down.

At the other end of the spectrum, I ran into her while she was on a date. Said "hi" but wasn't going to intrude - well, she introduces me to the guy. He's a marine aviator. Younger than her. Dude looked like The Rock. I thought for sure I'd never see her again. But a month or so later, she's back with me. I ask wtf happened: "he just wants 'a good little girl'" she says.

So I don't know. I can't explain it. She definitely has options. Why complain about the one guy that doesn't throw himself at you?

We have a lot of fun together, but since the very first time she told me that she wanted an exclusive relationship and I said no, I have never initiated contact with her. She told me that the problem with Rio guy was that he "ignored her" but I ignore the shit out of her (except when we're together obviously).

I swear to god, she'll post a picture of her big toe on facebook and get 50 likes and 20 comments. But I never say anything. One time she wanted to meet up and I told her to go buy a particular sex toy. She said, "I'm already out" - I said, "no, I didn't say go home and get it, I said go buy a new one and bring it with you." She posted a picture of the receipt on facebook and guys were practically falling over themselves asking to use it on her. Not only did I not reply, but when she texted asking me if I saw the pic, I didn't answer.

I'll get a text from her out of the blue with something like, "I haven't had sushi in ages" and I'll reply, "we're talking about oral sex, right?" I never answer her directly. We'll meet up, maybe spend a weekend together, and then just part ways and that's it for a month.

It was actually really unusual for her to start bugging me about exclusivity again.

[–]luxury_banana0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

While I was boring, I got a graduate degree and a great career and saved up some money. Only in the last few years have I developed the skills to attract someone like her. And now she says, "wow let's get married!"

Do you think so? That's one way to frame it. Another is that now that she realizes she's heading towards the wall and she's "had her fun," she's looking for some stable schmuck to rope into the whole longterm thing while not even giving him what she gave other guys for free.

[–]delta_hedge1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

two things are happening: she declines in value, he gains value. thats the frame.

[–]luxury_banana-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Here's the thing though; he suggested she go for some 45 year old guy that would have also gained in value and she doesn't want to and got offended. So if 25 year old her were to meet him as he is today, do you think she would be interested? Well?

[–]Kronouranos2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The male view of this would be a young man believing his job is good enough for him to get happily married, therefore not focusing at all on his game in the present. So when his salary does finally woo a woman, he doesn't have game to get laid/actually attract/not get divorced and lose half his wealth.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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