Young guy (22) new to MGTOW with a few questions.

LouElmo · 2018-12-22T16:12:32+00:00

[deleted]

cycloneous · 2018-12-22T16:50:19+00:00

First thing is first, you are young; take everything you have been "taught" or should I say indoctrinated with and throw it away! The world is not as it seems G-d help you if you say such a thing because you'll be labeled crazy, delusional, paranoid and a conspiracy theorist. With that being said. . .

Welcome to becoming MGTOW! Remember, being MGTOW is not about being bitter, but about being better; a better version of you.

You have already started on the path of becoming a better you. Does it ever get lonely? No. Why? Because I do not give myself the opportunity unless I want to be left alone. I am busy enough with my martial arts that I am constantly doing something, and so should you. Put yourself out there so that you do not have to be lonely.

Ask yourself, is there something or things that you have always wanted to do but haven't had the chance to do it yet? Do that, do those things, and have fun. I'm single, and am having the best time doing what I want to do on my own terms. Think of it like this, you are an independent nation, only 4 years (since becoming 18) old, don't entangle in permanent alliances (marriage or knock up some lady), you are just starting out, get your finances straight (money in the bank), establish yourself as a major power so that when you are old enough, say 30 ~ 35, you can establish permanent alliances on your terms.

Read books that give you a different point of view. See the world, travel, there is a lot out there to be seen.

Now, if by some chance you are going to do the girlfriend thing, don't let them shit test you, no single mothers, no one with drama, let them know you are the boss; if they don't like your rules, show them the door and don't look back. Women these days see men as a resource rather then a compliment to themselves so beware!

Be busy, and have fun in what you do, but don't forget to take time to mentally decompress. We are constantly getting input, so get rid of facebook or social media. There are no benefits. If people want to know how you are doing or what you are up to, they can e-mail, text or call you.

Good luck to you!

deadBeefCafe2014 · 2018-12-22T16:43:24+00:00

Biggest piece of advice I have for you doesn’t address any of your questions, however.

Find a mentor in your field. Learn all that you can everywhere you work. Stay at each job for at least a year. Job hopping looks really bad on a resume when you start actually getting good at what you do. Squeeze each place for every drop you can get out of it.

Be very discerning of the bridges you burn. In other words, don’t burn any of them if you can help it. IT is very interconnected in the specialties and reputation can often go before you.

worncete · 2018-12-22T17:54:54+00:00

Don't stop exercising.

You need a larger emergency fund than you think. The worst thing an employer can do to you is not lay you off or fire you. The worst thing they can do is refuse to fire or lay you off and then not pay you. Your emergency fund should be large enough so that you can quit and find a new job when that happens. That is definitely 6 months or more or expenses. For example, the online emergency fund calculator says I should save $12K, the answer I found empirically is $20K.

Humans need social interaction without a doubt. However, I think the amount we do right now is ridiculous. If I ever feel the need to be social, I can call family, talk to friends, or respond to a reddit post.

DangZagnut · 2018-12-22T17:01:27+00:00

Never get lonely, and if such social need is there, it’s taken care of by going out to eat or to the store.

Don’t confuse solitude with loneliness.

I have FWBs on a few occasions a year.

Pointers? Save your money. Avoid debt. If you can’t pay for it, you probably don’t need it.

It kind of shows a bit that you’re still well blue pulled, because you assume not subsidizing a woman’s life menans your lonely. In recent years they’ve invented friends and family.

eduardkoopman · 2018-12-22T17:54:22+00:00

I'm 35 years. monk mode since 3 years (although i only know abot mgtow since 1 year orso.)

does it ever get lonely?

Yes. Im quit introverted by default, and enjoy time alone. So being lonly for times, gives me energy. Being social, costs me energy most of the times, although it also gives me joy and enrichment in life if and when it comes in small portions.

Sometimes I do things/activities on my own. I enjoy it much more, then when I went on these activities with a gf in a grumpy state. But enjoy it a little bit less, when my gf was there in a happy/good mood. So that is about 50% of the time much more enjoyable, and 50% a little less enjoyable as before (when i was in relationship).

Do you still have FWB for sexual release?

Nope. I chose go without sexual contact. In my 30's my sex drive (and health) is still good, but not as high anymore as in my twenties. So it's abit easier managable now. I only use self help and porn for sexual release.
Somtimes my mind does miss the sexual contact, and it sometimes makes me wonder to maybe use the option of escort/massage salon. But then with post-nut clarity, that idea is off putting to me again.

Any pointers you can give me as a 22 year old trying to find his way?

Radical assesment, of the pro's and con's. Without using preconcieved notions (form upbringing). Only use personal experiences and verified/solid information to base your assesments on.

I went MGTOW, not due to that I knew it existed. But after my last relationship ended. I decided to do a thorough analasis, of my experienced pro's and cons. At that time I had experiences with all type of lifestyles with women:
A. I was sexless and dating less in my teens and early twenties.
B. I was doing some screwing around in my twenties (I adopted a pua-ish lifestyle which resulted in some lays/fwb/ONS type of things).
C. And I had 1 long relationships (4 years) with a woman I was good compatible with (personality wise) and found attractive.

I took my experience with all three lifestyles. B, was the absolute worst time, and the con's way outnumbered the pro's. A and C; both had different pro's and con's; but overall it was kinda even for me. Now to get to C again, is going to be a bitch getting there (dating (aka a B type of lifestyle), etc.)) if I even get there. And lifestyle A, is just as good for me overall as C. So I lost all motivation for this.

secant128 · 2018-12-22T17:11:47+00:00

Lobeliness - get a dog, and hang out with your dudes.

Sexual release - doll, fleshlight, pocket pussy

Papa_Barsuk · 2018-12-22T19:27:43+00:00

Do what you want. Everyone gets lonely, even those with wives and kids. Learn to like yourself and you'll enjoy your own company.

If you get horny then seek relief however you see fit but keep your eyes open to the downsides and short/ long term consequences.

You'll fuck up and get burnt from time to time but you'll enjoy yourself if you live for yourself.

Sutrule · 2018-12-22T20:52:41+00:00

With so much good advice here, I feel like it's almost pointless for me to respond too.

The best thing I can recommend to you is to get off of the idea of being with other people. This depends on your type of person of course, but is important regardless. As a rehabilitated hopeless romantic myself, my type of man probably wanted companionship more than most, yet I not only got out of it but saw, and continue to see, the importance of doing so. Depend on yourself. Befriend yourself. You don't necessarily need to go monk mode or become a hermit, but you need to know how to be alone when those people ultimately leave your life or become so unbearable that you need to leave there's. I'd recommend putting yourself through periods of isolation to get used to it, such as not talking to anyone you don't absolutely need to for a month or two, just to prove to yourself that you can and to condition yourself into it. Since you don't seem all that needy of another person, it should be easy for you, but remember: this advice pertains to both men and women. You may not want a woman in your life, but a lot of guys will use you or bring you down too.

The second thing I'd recommend is teaching yourself how to improve your life for the sake of it (not for women, or status, or money, but for you) and to adopt several hobbies and interests. Focus on money and titles after you focus on yourself. The key here is to not depend on anything in particular, but to have yourself and to achieve what you can once you do. Many ancient texts and ideologies make claim that conquering yourself is one of the greatest things you can do in life, and they're not wrong.

Third, take in information all of the time and from everywhere. Listen to other MGTOW, as well as PUAs and MRAs. Listen to what normies and women have to say. Read books, articles, and blog entries, and things from places like this sub. In my experiences, there's no better way to understand your own points of view and why they're important to you and worth defending than hearing what the other guys have to say. I never found it easier to get myself off of women than by genuinely conversing with them and hearing what they had to say, and I learned why the PUA and MRA attitude is defeatist and toxic by hearing them out. In addition, it makes you a better man to learn from other people. Learn about points of view you never heard of before or were told to hate, and about skills you'll probably never use in life. Over time, you'll come into yourself. You'll advance in ways you never would have before, use these bits of knowledge as stepping stones to other things, and may let go of ideas and lifestyles you had all your life or hold onto them more strongly than ever.

There are plenty of great content providers out there, but for self-improvement, I recommend you looking into these guys:

huMAN

Stardusk

Economic Invincibility

DWShimoda · 2018-12-23T00:27:47+00:00

and if I go against the grain I have an 18 year old calling me a beta.

Q: Why do you give a shit what some idiot "18 year old" especially online (or indeed anyone else -- anywhere else -- for that matter) might "call you"???

Seriously.

My question is, to the older men, does it ever get lonely? Do you still have FWB for sexual release? Any pointers you can give me as a 22 year old trying to find his way? Thanks.

I'm going to just drop this here: Three-quarters of people in U.S. struggling with loneliness

The irony of that, is that many of those people are NOT "single" -- not MGTOW.

You see "loneliness" can be experienced even in the midst of a large group of people -- even while living with one or more people in the same household.

One CAN live alone, and yet not be "lonely." It is as much a matter of your "personal balance" your priorities, etc.

It's sort of cliche to say that "quality is MORE important than quantity" when it comes to friendships & other relationships... but there's a lot of truth in that. To wit, which is actually better and LESS "lonely":

Meeting up only occasionally (even rarely, say just once a month or less) with one or more good friends -- perhaps working together on something you are both interested in and passionate about -- for a few (or perhaps several) hours of some "quality" time.

OR

Meeting up frequently, possibly even living with people ... who essentially "ignore" you while they are playing on their digital devices; and/or where your regular interaction are mostly a matter of formulaic banal, and arguably even dishonest, exchanges (How was your day? Fine... yours? Fine. OK, that's nice.); or perhaps trivial "gossip/news" exchanges about shit that really doesn't actually impact either of your lives (Did you see that thing one news about the [whatever] that happened to/with [whoever]? Yeah. Wow that was something wasn't it? Yeah it was.)

The first is "quality" the second is "quantity." Now some people (many, arguably even most) will -- or at least in how they LIVE their life actually DO -- opt for the second. In part because they very often don't actually HAVE any interests or passions TO share with anyone -- and instead "lead lives of quiet desperation" -- often unable to acknowledge or realize that what they are actually experiencing IS in fact "loneliness"; that is even though they may be surrounded with friends & family, they aren't truly connecting with anyone.

Methodless · 2018-12-23T03:18:23+00:00

33, MGTOW since 18, so maybe not as old as you're looking for.

I never feel lonely day to day.
I never come home and wish somebody else was there.
I never wish I had somebody by my side, but a lot of that is because I'm out doing things and making a difference whether it be in the workplace, in the community or just having experiences I desire to ever feel lonely.

I know I would appreciate a partner in that if the TradCon lifestyle was real, sure I'd love somebody who completes me and I can lean on in times of need, but I'm not gullible enough to believe it exists anymore either.

The occasions which take getting used to are doing things you'd normally not go out to do by yourself. The biggest one for me is travelling. Going on vacation alone took some getting used to. Going to a sporting event alone took some getting used to. Eating at certain places alone and not doing takeout took some getting used to.

Travelling was the worst because you end up having to pay for two people in many cases anyway, so you almost feel like it's worth putting up with somebody else to save a few hundred.

FWB never appealed to me because I'm not that kind of guy. I can't not care. I will get sucked into her bullshit and care for her even though I know there's no reason to.

[deleted] · 2018-12-23T10:29:58+00:00

> My question is, to the older men, does it ever get lonely?

No. It's actually been proven men get more fulfilment from their relationships with male friends than the live-in nagger whose sex drive crashed the day after she said "I do". Also, I have had genuine, deep friendships with cats. The one I rescued (not took from a shelter, literally rescued in person) as a kitten would take a bullet for me.

> Do you still have FWB for sexual release?

No.

> Any pointers you can give me as a 22 year old trying to find his way

That's the fun part. Your way is not mine. Wander, discover.

Young guy (22) new to MGTOW with a few questions.

Comments

THIS^.

Isn't it amazing how quickly a MAN (single & MGTOW, no female IV draining his wallet*) can manage to do that?

Title	Young guy (22) new to MGTOW with a few questions.
Author	illimit_ableman
Upvotes	52
Comments	30
Date	December 22, 2018 3:59 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/a8lvkm/young_guy_22_new_to_mgtow_with_a_few_questions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/young-guy-22-new-to-mgtow-with-a-few-questions.438292 https://theredarchive.com/post/438292