Long Distance GF became libidoless

2 points•40 comments•submitted by Footahn to r/DeadBedrooms

Sorry for formatting. Mobile user here.

So, I’m in the military, and I get to see my girlfriend maybe 4 times a year. The last time I saw her was in September, and now shes visiting me for the holidays.

She’s been here a week and we’ve only had sex twice, not for my lack of trying. She told me that she got used to not having sex, to the point where she won’t even masturbate on her own that often. And now she just doesn’t need it or want it. I’ve never felt so lonely, even when she was thousands of miles away. She’s right next to me and she doesn’t want me and it breaks my heart.

I’ve tried to convey my feelings on this. I miss her intimacy so much. Our sex used to be the best part of our relationship and now it’s a chore to her. I feel so horrible when I ask because she seems burdened by my bringing it up, but I just don’t know what to do.

I knew of this sub before this happened and now that I’m here I’d really like to share with her some of the stories and posts you have shared. My concern is that it’s too soon to be pulling that trigger since this has only just started happening but I won’t see her again till the summer and I don’t want her libido to regress further during that time. Should I nip this in the bud? Or wait and see? Or a third option I just can’t see right now?

What do I do?

EDIT: Judging by some of the reactions posted in the comments, there’s some context that should be included to this story.

Her and I have been close for over ten years. About eight of those years were as friends before we started dating and have been together for the past two, almost three years. Before I was stationed across the pond, we lived together and were quite happy. This disinterest in sex is new as of September, when she learned she was most likely going to a school out of country and our meetings were going to be even rarer. I believe she started to shut down her libido to save herself the heartache, but now that we’re together she has no interest in firing it back up. She has a week before she returns home, and I’d like to have as good a time as possible despite the DB situation.

I hope this clears up why I haven’t just dropped her, and why I am committed to working through it with her. Thank you all for your advice.