Today's date didn't go as well I hoped. Me and Sarah#10 met up and we went to coffee shop. I made sure to sit next to her as we were both sitting on bar stools in the cafe. The date just felt off.

She was giving off this low energy tired vibe. We both just came from work but I had a feeling she didn't want to be here.When we sat down she told me that she had to leave in a hour, I was fine with it and we started to chat. It was normal, I was kinoing her and she reciprocating it well. She was speaking kinda monotone but I figured she was just tired.

After a half hour I decided to change the location. There was a bunch of benches nearby and we sat down. The conversation just kinda died down, it was kinda my fault as I didn't spike/tease her enough, it was all safe.

Sarah#10 then tells me that she's leaving NY to go study abroad, my brain tells me bullshit but I knew this wasn't going to workout at all. I went for the kiss, she rejected it, we hugged and said goodbye. To be honest, I was kinda dissapointed and depressed about the outcome of the date.

Before the date I indirectly approached this one petite girl. We chatted and the one thing that I did was lead and took charge of the conversation. I didn't let it die down and led her to talk, it felt great. I got her number and moved on.Right after the date I approached a few girls around the area. I was trying to emulate the approach from earlier but it just didn't happened. I got this one girls number but she works two jobs.

What I noticed in my conversation with these women that it's safe. I try to tease them or "spike" the conversation like Tom Terero say, it just doesn't feel right. Obviously because of two reasons.

1). I haven't practiced it enough

2). I don't know if my teases are working.

I notice is that I play the safe route by building rapport but if I want them to feel attracted to me I need to "break rapport", push and pull, but I don't know where to start.

I had two sloppy approaches. My voice was weak and I didn't do a good job on my eye contact. I got 5 numbers today, which is not bad. I had a great day despite the shitty date but for some reason I just feel depressed, I kept thinking about the date. I got some good leads but my mind keeps telling me that I messed up.

That's what it is. I feel down because I feel like I could be doing so much better. I keep making similar mistakes and not working on the things that I need to work on. Not only that I've been neglecting my self improvement. I stop reading, drawing and working towards my career. I've been spending a lot of money on bullshit and all I ever been doing is just approaching and going on dates.

I try to just approach for an hour or two but once I sit down to study all I do is procrastinate and up out again to approach. I feel like if I don't approach these women I'm not going to have another chance again, I know it sounds redundant. I want to be the best version of myself but I feel like I'm stuck in this loop. It's great approaching but I feel hollow on the inside, pretending and making up stories to try to sleep with these women. I know if I was honest in my approaches I wouldn't get too far. I'm just telling these women what they want to hear.