My pet theory is that there are so few attractive men out there that hot girls are worse at giving shit tests than 5-7s. Any hint of bitchiness and lesser boys turn away with their tail between their legs.

So it's with no small amount of amusement that, a day later, I'm thinking about my latest hookup and realizing I blew past a night's worth of shit tests without realizing what they were.

First up, the girl. Japanese chick on Tinder, definitely a 1/1. Slim, intelligent, physicist, 22. I open with a physics joke and quickly ask her out to dinner. We meet at one of my favorite places. That way even if I don't like her, I still get good food.

Conversation is interesting. She is sharp as a tack, but I am a razor blade. Just the way I like it. Tip for you lads, never give out how much you make. It's "enough", it's "comfortable", it's "I get by". Let your actions and possessions do the talking. Never apologize for rambling. Listen, but do not let yourself be interrupted.

This bit is her sussing out the basics of what sort of person I am. I am myself. Funny, a good listener, provider of fine food, not a serial killer, not a creep, not a desperate beta. When I'm pretty sure all the boxes are checked (you'll know when the conversation starts to wind down and she's still smiling at you) I ask her over to watch a show. She agrees.

I drive us home, 5 minutes from the restaurant. I make enough that my place is extremely comfortable, but you can do the same with far less. Girls are simple creatures, they have to be comfortable to enjoy fucking. I put on a show and we get on the couch.

This was the first time (of two) in the hookup I consciously thought about RP teachings: I escalate immediately and put my arm around her, pull her close. Don't wait. You'll find out quickly what the rest of the night will look like. Eventually the arm starts moving around.

After a while the shit starts. I get comments about my looks. I'm a pretty hairy guy. Who's a manly hairy guy? Wolverine. Who's a funny hairy guy? Borat. Turn the jabs on their head into jokes. Agree and amplify, go all-out ridiculous. She loves it.

Eventually the movie ends and we start making out. A couple of times she disengages. Sure, I could use some sleep, good-night. This confuses her. Then she says she wants to go sleep on the couch. Sure, grab a couple of pillows, sweet dreams. I'm not forcing things on the off chance she has some fucked up rape fantasy, I have plates for that. For that advice I am grateful to Louis C. K.

Within 5 minutes she's back and snug up right against me. I sigh, turn around, start kissing her again. This time my hands get to move all the way around. Surprise, she's soaked her panties. Guess all that prior making-out went in my favour. This, lads, is one way to blow past LMR- simply engage full abundance mentality. She's at your place, horny, and attracted to you- if you don't give her anything to get turned off at, her hamster will do all the work for you.

We end up fucking, she's not that great in bed (very passive, makes me think she's been used as a living fleshlight by all her previous partners) but I am. We fuck another time, clean up, cuddle, and go to sleep. All is well.

Next day, I find out she's a messy girl. I do try to keep my place in line. Firmly told her off: ask before you pick my things up. I am happy to give permission but it is a privilege I give. She tries to laugh it off and half-playfully calls me daddy.

We fuck again, she's already dripping by this point. I'll remind you again, girls get really into things once they're comfortable. Sex in the morning is generally better. This time round is madly intense. She came just from being fucked hard. I said she's a squirter, but in review I'll retract that until I confirm it.

We wash up, she cleans up her stuff and some of my things I lent her (good girl!), and while I wash up she calls her friend. They essentially confirm AWALT right in front of me, no shame at all. This is the second time I think back to RP teachings, and I realize this is where I want to be: I am squarely in the alpha fucks category, and she's not even thinking about her good girl facade.

I'll probably see her again (I'm expecting her to text me first) so, all in all, great success.

Edited to be slightly less overbearingly cocky. I realize this is actually meant to be useful.

Learning points? There are many.

  • Improve all aspects of your SMV- looks, confidence, wealth. The first you improve through lifting and grooming. This is the easiest to improve, and you have no excuse not doing it. The second through practice interacting with humans with an open mind (all kinds- young and old, male and female). The third you work smart and plan well for. This is the source of everything else below.
  • Logistics. Make sure you have a plan to fuck or you'll fuck your plans.
  • Escalate, because she won't.
  • Stand firm, but know when to be serious and when to turn it into a joke.
  • Reward good behaviour. Dopamine is one hell of a drug. You can be top-tier psychologically manipulative and reward at random intervals, but that's too much work for me.
  • Shit tests are passed automatically once abundance mentality, amused mastery, and agree + amplify are internalized.
  • No means no, cover your ass first. LMR is just that, LMR. Not worth fucking your life up over.
  • Less is more. She's at your place, you've been making out. She's attracted to you, all you need to do is not turn her off.
  • Hot and smart young girls are actually pretty lousy at shit tests. Avoid hot and smart older girls unless you like wasting your time on challenges.
  • AWALT, so be on the right side of the fence.
  • Internalize RP truths through practice, so that you blast past shit tests even when half-asleep.

Points for self-improvement, because nobody is above them.

  • Conversation should have been more interesting. More sexual, more jokes. more jabs.
  • Escalation was not hard and fast enough. Should have been snogging before the movie was over.
  • Keep towel next to bed.
  • Should have been more aware of potential daddy issues re: plating (will pay attention next time).
  • Need to keep place tidier. No excuse to let it slip.