Spinster moves a small piece of furniture. Writes self-aggrandizing article making it sound like an epic battle.

Docbear64 · 2018-11-26T16:04:57+00:00

This is the gender that made " adulting" a term ... I went to the store the other day and saw Adulting stickers which mentioned everything from "congrats for going to work today!" to other menial bull shit .

Of course her ballad of struggle and conquering is moving a coffee table... give her a medal

Origami84 · 2018-11-26T16:00:07+00:00

Next time that dumbass could simply open the package and bring the separated, lighter and easier to grasp pieces, up the stairs one at the time. But, you know, logic is sexist or something.

MadPreacher1AD · 2018-11-26T16:09:21+00:00

To save you gents some time here is my breakdown and translation. Picture of the author. It's not safe for food or work, so you are warned.

The Target employee who oomphed my coffee table out of a closet when I arrived for in-store pickup took one look at me, and said, “Baby, how are you gonna get this home?” I shrugged and replied, “I’ll figure it out!” Because I always do. I’ve been single for 10 years and dammit if I can’t assess a situation and Sherlock together a few favorable outcomes. I’m very resourceful. My friend Emily believes it’s my best quality. I don’t disagree.

Thot doesn't listen to a store employee and was given an opportunity to rethink her purchase. She also admits that she's a crazy cat lady already.

When I rented my apartment, the broker promised I’d get used to the stairs. To bring this table home, I knew I’d have to force it up four flights by will alone, because I couldn’t physically lift it, like at all. But there are only so many years of your grown life you can live with an Ikea Lack in your living room, so a six-foot box of table was getting inside my apartment, come hell or high waist jeans. I took a Lyft to get the table home, but was on my own for the rest. By the way, I’ve lived in this building for six years. You never get used to the stairs.

This is the hamster working overtime to justify living in this apartment building while purchasing a 48 pound table that she admits that she can't lift. The hamster tries to protect her from physics and logic. It ultimately fails since she blames the stairs.

Flight one was really about changing hand positions to figure out the best arrangement. I should have worn gloves, I know this now. One stair at a time, I shoved and pulled at the behemoth any way I could, to get a sense of my options. I heard my mother’s voice in my head asking me why a neighbor didn’t come out into the hallway to help me, my obvious reply being that my neighbors are hobgoblins I’ve never seen with my own eyes and they should stay right the fuck where they are.

Her hamster goes into overdrive because her neighbors don't snap to her will to do things for her like a good tool will. We know she's referring to her neighbors that are male because she only views them as tools. If I lived in her building you bet your ass I would have laughed at her while making snide comments.

On flight three, sweaty and afraid, I began to doubt myself. The box was huge, it was heavy, and it was breaking my spirit. There’s a sad reality in schlepping. Why was there never a guy around to help me? And what does it say for my feminism that this is the thought in my head right now? I was about to be crushed to death by furniture that could be assembled with an Allen wrench so I decided not to be too hard on myself.

The hamster dies at this point. She had a minimum of 3 Mr. Rights in her life and she pissed on them. It's all their fault for not being there as she excuses her mistakes. Also men are not tools you cunt. They're people too and you will cry yourself to sleep at night surrounded by your cats. Just remember when you die your cats will eat your corpse.

But seriously, other people have people who love them enough for physical labor, why not me? It was like this with my new nightstand the previous month and the six-foot kitchen baker’s rack the month before that. (I was in a home improvement phase, apparently to punish myself.)

Because those wives actually do appreciate what their husbands do for them and treat them like their people. They don't treat them like you do which is if they were a wrench or a hammer. Obviously, she didn't learn from her prior projects that this would be a problem. The hamster did its best to shield her from reality.

By the time I reached the top of the stairs, limbs shaking, fully ready to marry my next right-swipe, I was a shell of the single formerly known as Shani. I forced the box inside my apartment, and realized I still had to take the old coffee table to the curb. I might have cried, I’m really not sure.

She highlights why she's single. All she views men as are dildos and tools. She will marry anyone as long as they are useful to her. The moment they aren't useful she rejects them. Remember those 3 Mr. Rights? Yeah she had three chances and she removed them from her life as their usefulness wore off at the time she no longer needed them. Not very forward thinking of her to imagine that in the future she just might need some help from a man.

The truth is, if you’re single, over 30, and need help, you have to hire it. All the effortless friends and hook ups who were happy to lend a hand for nothing more than beer and pizza have dried up and you’re left reading TaskRabbit reviews hoping you don’t hire a psychopath.

Yes, this is how the economy works. If you want labor done you pay for it either through sex, food, or cash. Most men these days just want the cash to avoid your diseased ridden pussy. Nice job on the projection there. We all know who the psychopath is in this article. It's you Shani.

Why is getting things done so much harder for me? Why am I not part of a team? Yes, you can call friends for help, but then it becomes about twisting your time and plans around other people and feeling like you owe them something. And, you get even angrier that you couldn’t just do what you needed to do when you needed to do it like every other goddamn person on Earth.

Because she told 3 Mr. Rights to go fuck themselves. This is why you are alone with your cats and boxed wine. Calling friends for help and owing them something is a part of life. You always end up owing someone for the things they do for you. Sorry Princess Whore, but the world and the universe doesn't revolve around you or your vagina.

It’s also not just hauling things up stairs! Have you ever put an anti-bed bug protective cover on a queen-size mattress and box spring? Alone? People, I was almost killed! You have to have the athletic prowess of Simone Biles and the reckless bravery of Indiana Jones to accomplish that task unscathed or without forfeiting your security deposit. And couples (though I’m sure they fight mid-chore), have the option of just saying, “hey babe, can you come help me with this?” Motherfuckers.

Nice to show that biological reality that women are weaker then men. I'm saddened that the bed didn't kill you because you deserve it. No, it doesn't take either of that. It just means you have to work smarter not harder.

A decade alone has left me with certain consequences, one of which being I don’t like relying on people. I’ve learned how to do a lot of things by myself (I trim my own bangs, I bake my own bread, I’ve recently invested in a UV light for gel nails, the list goes on). If no one is ever going to be around, then I’m never going to need anyone around. #Lifehack.

The ovaries have dried up and the wax hardened. She has nothing to offer a man. Get used to being alone there Shani. This is all your fault for being alone.

But I worry, a lot actually, that my situational need for self-sufficiency will result in me being averse to help of any kind, ever, from anyone. When I do meet a partner, how am I supposed to let go of all of my get-shit-doneness and adopt a sense of “we’re in this together?”

You'll never get another partner. You had a minimum of three chances and you fucked it up. No man wants a post wall woman except to pump and dump. Enjoy your cats and wine.

In the end, I disposed of the old coffee table, collapsed and recycled the giant box, assembled and styled my new furniture, and my feet and cat were resting upon it by dinnertime. My fear and sadness and that general halo of feeling “left out” of life’s normal things all melted away (for awhile), and were replaced by a single woman’s oxytocin: Accomplishment.

She admits to being a crazy cat lady. It's not an accomplishment to haul a coffee table up four flights of stairs by yourself. Men do it all the time.

Normal life things are harder alone, but they’re not impossible. I don’t have to feel helpless simply because I have no help. I am my help. I can, quite literally, build the world I want around me, it’s just going to take a little longer and be a little bit heavier than tasks taken on in pairs. I can live with that a lot easier than I can live with ugly furniture. And as for how I’ll get comfortable ever asking someone to lift the other end of the box, we’ll table that for later.

I feel for that poor hamster. Lady, there are things that you cannot do and you will be helpless. Burglar in your apartment and you don't have a firearm? You need the cops to protect you. Fire breaks out in your building? You need the fire department because you sure as hell aren't going to be fighting the fire yourself. You're going to be looking for those men that you view as tools to do your job.

lukesoad · 2018-11-26T16:22:00+00:00

You'd think she stormed the beaches of Normandy with the way she goes on.

William_A_Bishop · 2018-11-26T17:35:20+00:00

She already had a coffee table. But she NEEDED a new one...

Gracket_Material · 2018-11-26T18:17:46+00:00

I moved an entire apartment down a flight of stairs and around 2 180 degree turns. Fuck off

ThaiEscapePlan · 2018-11-26T19:33:38+00:00

She could be attractive, altho the wall is inches away. Her Insta is a jumble of food pics and feminist messaging, including a grab of the craziest cat lady of all, Christine Ballsy Fraud, hand up prior to giving her best dramatic acting performance. Of course pics of cats, beta orbiters and Hillary Clinton - Imagine the meltdown when Trump won!

Is forensic psychoanalysis of Instagram a thing? It would be very revealing...

Three-Legged-Fox · 2018-11-26T20:00:35+00:00

I like this quote:

>When I was in my 20s, when all it took to cure a hangover was a single serving of Easy Mac, there seemed to be an abundance of humans around. There were roommates and uncoupled friends who just "showed up" always willing to lend a hand.

i.e. before she hit the wall, she could attract beta orbiters to do her dirty work for her in hopes of getting laid; now all that interest has dried up.

quesoburgesa · 2018-11-26T19:54:58+00:00

So she wrote a novel congratulating herself on bringing a coffee table home and assembling it? Impressive

roadblumeta · 2018-11-26T20:08:55+00:00

I think we've found the female Ethan Hawke!

1Badshot · 2018-11-27T04:12:36+00:00

I am woman; hear me squeak!

I-am-the-lul · 2018-11-27T08:49:00+00:00

The idea that 48lbs/22kg is almost insurmountable of a weight highlights just how weak females really are, while I can honestly admit that my personal strength is below average, even I can handle 22kg without too much trouble.

Title	Spinster moves a small piece of furniture. Writes self-aggrandizing article making it sound like an epic battle.
Author	Three-Legged-Fox
Upvotes	43
Comments	26
Date	November 26, 2018 3:41 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/a0kdt0/spinster_moves_a_small_piece_of_furniture_writes/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/spinster-moves-a-small-piece-of-furniture-writes.452831 https://theredarchive.com/post/452831

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