Older men, I’m a 20 year old male service member. Is it normal to feel dead inside everyday.

mgtowguy2 · 2019-05-29T14:14:55+00:00

I'm in my mid 50's. Never been in the service but I've been to school, work in the tech field as an engineer and run my own consulting firm now.

I went through periods like your describing. Things seemed pointless. I'm was just going through the motions. Etc. Doctor diagnosed depression and gave me pills. Didn't really help.

But it wasn't forever for me. I went through a year or two but it did end. And when it did it was because something in my life forced me to change direction.

A layoff, a divorce, a move across the country to start a new job just because.

So all I can say is that if you feel stuck in the circumstances you're in change the circumstances.

It's not all going to happen in a few days or weeks or even months. But at 20 you've got lots of opportunities still. And it can be almost anything. Even with my degrees I took a year off a couple of times just working manual labour because I genuinely enjoyed the work. Tutored a couple of years as well. Crap pay but I was happy in life.

I can't offer specific concrete suggestions for you, of course, but at a higher level it's what seemed to work for me.

DangZagnut · 2019-05-29T14:26:21+00:00

Not really. It's not normal. If you're feeling dead inside there must be an internal belief system at odds with reality.

CiceroVoltaire · 2019-05-29T14:33:22+00:00

it may mean you are lost without a real, true purpose; just existing.

think about what you want to do, in life, where do you want to be. think about a plan that can get you there, start taking steps forward toward your goals. Use your current situation as a starting point, set achievable goals and stretch goals, and make it happen.

gbevans · 2019-05-29T20:01:09+00:00

we are so brainwashed by society growing up, that it feels like there is no real foundation of honesty nor integrity in the world. you must internalize the simple idea that you have no control over anyone else's behavior. there are people who will make up lies or take something completely out of context that you said or did to curry 5 cents of favor with the boss. there ARE people out there who have true integrity, just not nearly as many as we were indoctrinated to believe by society growing up. you control YOU. you control what you eat, wear, where you live (to an extent)with whom you associate and just the entire way in which you treat other human beings, your personal integrity. when you realize how many soulless people that there are out there, it is incredibly depressing, discouraging and actually disorienting. try to take solace in the fact that you aren't like that first. conduct yourself how you think you should and you will draw like minded people to you.

TerminalSect33 · 2019-05-29T16:28:44+00:00

It's a sign of depression, discontent. If you've been through combat, maybe you've learned to turn emotions off. I'm not asking- just saying I've known of cases where that happens. If you don't want a career in the army, just do your best to get through until you can eos out. If it's your job you dislike, see if you can put in for a job change (longshot sometimes yet you never know). Not a lot of info to go on, so not sure how i can help. Best of luck, bro, you'll be alright, focus on yourself.

MODS_EAT_POO · 2019-05-29T14:05:38+00:00

Idk man but I don't think they necessarily have the answer.

Older MGTOWs did not go through what younger MGTOWs in their prime, sexual age are going through.

That's why I don't really give a fuck what they say most the time haha

FalsePositiveRethink · 2019-05-29T18:45:52+00:00

Can't say I've been there.

It may be your brain just going through a developmental phase. Male brains don't stop maturing until 24-25.

It's not unusual for young men to drift in our culture. In past cultures, young men had a role, they had a group to be part of and take pride in, they had a stake in their community. No such thing exists for us, your soul may simply be longing for something that 21st century society no longer provides.

Maybe, just a tip: let yourself be led by things that you enjoy. Open yourself to experiences of all kinds - painting, music, sport, martial art, anything - and if you like it just a bit, pursue it, see if a passion develops within you, by itself.

You'll be fine. Young adulthood is tough. But it was for us too, and we survived and thrived. You will too.

eofree2be · 2019-05-29T19:56:38+00:00

I went through a pretty rough time where I felt similarly when I was 36-37 just a few years ago. Incidentally around the 25-26 mark too.I basically thought my best was behind me and I squandered all of my potential. Incidentally I was real down on myself for never being in the military which had been something I thought I wanted to do. Incidentally probably better for the military, but I like to think I had complementing traits when I was 18.

I began to read a lot. I would cut out alcohol. I would read books from recommendation lists and get them from the library. All sorts of books. I think a key is getting out of your head when you can.

I have always been a fan of the 7 habits books by Stephen Covey. It took many years for me to start to understand some of the things in there but I think your military experience you might be in a better place than I was at 20. But I pulled myself out of my funk by learning it’s not over. Humans can forward project and envision the future. They can find meaning. In addition to 7 habits, which I think is military recommended reading you should read “Man’ Search for Meaning.”

From some things I’ve heard from the military, depending on where you are things might seem stupid, pointless, wasteful, pointless, etc. In life and a civilian career it’s not usually much better. And in the civilian world you have to be “nice” even when people may be fucking you over. Civilians have the freedom to leave a situation at least.

Good luck hooah.

DT1726 · 2019-05-29T14:54:10+00:00

Ever thought about meditation? You need to sort out your emotional baggage inside.

the_count1234 · 2019-05-30T00:15:40+00:00

Yes, it's normal. But it doesn't have to be your new normal. Even accounting for the things in life we can't control, life is typically what you make of it. If you let negativity keep you down, it will. You'll have to fight to stay positive, but it's absolutely within your power to do to. And its worth it. Keep your chin up bud! Better days are absolutely ahead! Trust me on this :)

acp_rdit · 2019-05-29T15:45:11+00:00

Take up boxing or mma. Getting you bell rung regularly gives you the perspective that the times when you aren't getting punched in the head aren't that bad.

Docbear64 · 2019-05-29T16:05:51+00:00

Does nothing give you feeling ? not exercise ? not a hobby ? nothing ?

11bNg · 2019-05-29T16:46:11+00:00

U need some hobbies bud

_____ape_____ · 2019-05-29T18:24:40+00:00

You're experiencing apathy. It means you feel nothing because you do not feel purpose or meaning in your life. The easiest cop out is to start a family you provide for but since you're here I'm certain youre aware of how dangerous that is in modern times. You could get a dog to look after, volunteer at an animal shelter or homeless shelter (something where people or animals need your help), you could set goals of places you want to successfully hike and share your experiences on the internet. Take on a new hobby that let's you exercise your creative side. The list goes on really, the point I'm making is you do not feel your life is where you want it to be, where you are right now is not ok with you. Providing for a family was every man's purpose once upon a time but modern civilization has ruined our very core nature. you're going to have to figure out how to feed that nature inside you that needs a real human experience in this unnatural artificial world.

nowifenokidsforlife · 2019-05-29T18:36:54+00:00

It is normal. Think of it as a baseline and you have to search far and wide for things your are passionate about in order to build on that baseline. I know that sounds like the sort of motivational shit you hear time to time but it's kind of how that works. I have done a tremendous amount of traveling and that always got me out of that feeling. Everyone is different though so you might need to find something else.

2019-05-29T18:43:04+00:00

You asked for older guys so I responded. I'm in my late 60's. It's not normal to feel dead. It is normal to be bored if you are in a position where you're not all that engaged. No matter where you are or what you're doing there are lots of ways to engage your mind. POW's who have been most successful have found ways to engage their mind regardless of their confinement. A Vietnam Vet played golf in his head for years even though he was constrained to a small space. When he returned home to the course he played in his head he played par. Dead to me sounds like depression. But it depends on how you define dead. At 20 there are great books you haven't read yet. I think biographies give you a jump start on life by learning from other peoples mistakes so you can avoid those potholes in life Sorry you're in this position. Hope you find a path that suits you and that realizes your true self. Also, I should say that I never served in the military and there might be guys who know exactly how you feel and why because of your situation in the military. Good luck.

Shazam1235 · 2019-05-29T13:58:40+00:00

No, also what’s a service member?

TerraEarth · 2019-05-29T20:17:44+00:00

Real talk, you probably have a hormonal imbalance (testosterone for example). This can be caused by a lot of things: toxins, stress, nutrition, etc. Get it checked out/fixed and use natural methods if you can.

White_Mlungu_Capital · 2019-05-29T21:33:39+00:00

Yes, it reflects your outside state.

Serving a country which will fuck you over in a second, killing people in third world countries for no good reason because some fat male feminist in DC wants to make a few more dollars for the war machine, yeah you are serving the devil, so you should feel like shit. Get out when you can and you are still oung and make a real living.

GoHurtMyFeelings · 2019-05-30T00:36:33+00:00

Short answer: yes. Sounds cliche but you really have to find out what you enjoy doing in life then work towards attaining that.

HumanzDisgustMe · 2019-05-30T01:15:40+00:00

Control your emotions. You can control your inner weather. Stay sunny. You are alive. Make sure you learn how to enjoy it young!

theoracleofosiris · 2019-05-30T02:35:01+00:00

Dukkha. Google it.

Mechs2002 · 2019-05-30T06:19:40+00:00

Yes. As a former 11B with two deployments, 6 1/2 years in, and not making it past E-4...yeah, that was me everyday for the last 2 years or so of my enlistment. Embrace the suck man. When it's work time, work your ass off. Then when you are off, go do something you find actually fun. I was a gamer and a motorsport junkie when I was in.

How long you got until you ETS?

ziplockzeus · 2019-05-30T07:21:30+00:00

I was in the same position as you are just a few months ago.

Try to get into stoicism and try to practice it everyday. It has given me invaluable insights and clearness about my purpose in life and I bet it will do the same to you.

Freefrombitches123 · 2019-05-30T07:23:27+00:00

Yes there's nothing wrong with you

LucidDreamz0 · 2019-05-30T09:34:25+00:00

I've been like this for the past two years, combined with depression. Food tasted like shit, music sucked, people sucked, all the things I liked before started to suck... I'm 26 now. I have been smoking weed a LOT during this period, since it helped me to live more in the moment. I decided enough was enough and it was time for change. I quit smoking 1.5 weeks ago and honestly never felt better. I got a new gym subscription and started reading a book "the subtle art of not giving a fuck". I would really recommend for you to give it a try. It's great! Just work on yourself and try to find something you like to do. I thought it would never get better and was REAL negative, to the point where I wouldn't care if I died in my sleep and never woke up again. I'm currently in a better state of mind. It really starts with you WANTING to feel different. Once you get to that point, you'll slowly notice the progress coming in. I really hope you start to feel better eventually, my dude! Don't give up! Better times are ahead of you. I swear.

2019-05-30T14:20:23+00:00

Yeah pretty much. You can hide from it with hobbies, drugs or philosophy, but the feeling you describe is logical reaction to the realization of your actual place in the world.

As you get more established (generally meaning more money, because money buys you better coping mechanisms, entertainment and distraction) you sort of stop noticing it and it stops being quite so annoying.

So I can honestly say it gets better, but only as you get freedom and money.

Red_Pill_Philosopher · 2019-05-30T03:58:21+00:00

Navy Vet here and MGTOW. Yes what you are experiencing is normal thus why I got my DD214.

TheSpiderKoussaila · 2019-05-30T04:18:47+00:00

I Turned 19, 3 days ago.

fwoomer · 2019-05-30T08:58:04+00:00

It’s normal if you’ve ever been “divorce raped.”

But I’m guessing (hoping) that’s not the case if you’re 20. ;-)

sphinx2626 · 2019-05-30T18:21:39+00:00

Yea soceity sucks hard. So many forces are closing in and no one is willing to group up and protect ourselves. Im dead inside 100%. I live only to provide for my child. Ill try living again once shes grown and I leave the west behiend.

Title	Older men, I’m a 20 year old male service member. Is it normal to feel dead inside everyday.
Author	Shazam1235
Upvotes	71
Comments	71
Date	May 29, 2019 1:57 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/buf044/older_men_im_a_20_year_old_male_service_member_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/older-men-im-a-20-year-old-male-service-member-is.457380 https://theredarchive.com/post/457380

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