So I got banned frim r/divorce for helping some guy who was all mixed up and looking for advice from random women on reddit as to why his wife hates him. I told him to head here and i got banned .

Almost 3 months into a year-long separation. See my post history for the story. Together 10, married 5. We have a 21 month old son together.

She left me in early February, and got herself a new place. She's clearly trying to find herself and fashion a whole new life for herself. The only time she reaches out is if it involves our son. Since she dropped the bomb, she has not said a single nice thing to me, or said a single nice thing about our decade together.

When we do talk, she becomes defensive super easily, almost as if just talking to me puts her on her heels. I swear to God, I'm trying as hard as I can to be normal and not weird.

I'm the guy that didn't see the separation coming, I'm the guy who loved her/still loves her, and would be willing to do anything it takes to heal the relationship. That's not where she is. Seems like right now it's entirely about herself.

Is this common? Is there a way to get through this period of unnecessary hostility? I love her, but am not hung up on her. I realize that I can't control her and she has to go through her own process.

But I want some basic kindness and human empathy.

Appreciate any perspective, advice, or encouragement you have to share.