This Valentine's Day is going to be a big day regarding my future.Im a 47 yr old m. I have a zoom meeting with a divorce lawyer for my first consultation and later in the day is the last hope last ditch effort for a marriage counseling session that was already scheduled . I'm giving her an ultimatum she stops drinking stops doing drugs and goes to medical detox or I'm filing for divorce. Our son got cancer 6 years ago and died 2 years ago. Sometime between then and now she became an alcoholic and I found out a few days ago that she is a regular user of cocaine. That was the last straw for me she lied she claimed she wasn't using it previously and it turns out she's a regular user. It explains a lot of her behavior now and there's no excuse for it I've had enough. I've also uncovered she's unfaithful and has had emotional affairs/ sexting with men I saw a pictures and videos on her phone after snooping that were definitely not ever sent to me. I also found out on the phone about the drug use. Her behavior is erratic crazy at best. I've had my front teeth punched in. She slashed my face with her nails after luring me in for sex when she was drunk. She has thrown punches at me like it's nothing .If I push her away she throws her self to the ground in this over dramatic fashion like someone is watching Home life is horrible. She is usually intoxicated and does terrible spiteful things to me and when I react she will start saying loudly to stop hitting her so the kids will hear it all while just confronting her for her spiteful act. I'm just patiently waiting for this consultation, sleeping on the couch. I've had enough my home life is hostile at best there's 2 adult children living at home. As I'm writing this I'm not even sure if I want to go through with the ultimatum I think I should just go straight with a divorce and not even give her an opportunity to get sober I don't really care at this point she's not my daughter and I'm not her father and I don't really care what ends up happening to her. I just feel as an obligated human to help her get sober. But my anger is so great for how she's behaved what she's done to me I almost want to leave her in her drunken drug addict position. But I know that probably will work against me in the future. and be terrible for my kids. I know she has suffered by the death of our son but her behavior is beyond horrible to me. I just want to be safe and someone to care about me . I'm so lonely and I so worried she will do something crazy. I am in such a bad position. Please only kind supportive comments.