Life was good I had my mythical unicorn 🦄 at least for a time and I’ll always remember her fondly.

But this is where our story goes from my happy reminiscing to absolute shit.

To put it bluntly she got ill. She was diagnosed with cancer when we were 19. over several months she deteriorated rapidly and I had to let go.

I choose to remember the good times and block out the bad, the truth is it broke me.

Completey and utterly. My world was destroyed. After the funeral I spent the next 2 months numbing myself with alcohol and drugs and causing fights. I became a total recluse and was seriously considering killing myself.

Eventually after many tears and finally coming to terms with my anger I accepted the fact while she may have enjoyed the theatrics it’s not what T would have wanted for me.

I returned to the spot where it all began and decided I needed to reinvent myself, for me and for her.

Since that day I have been completely cured of fuckarounditis. Not because of some life is too short bullshit, because I was and am to this day numb.

Netflix, Facebook likes and other pointless bullshit seems completely trivial now, anxiety is a foreign concept when everything is meaningless.

It took me a whole year before I finally slept with someone else. A random party slag at a night club. After a solid 14 months without blowing a nut I finally gave into the attention. Afterwards I went home and cried, it was at this point a discovered the red pill in its early days. (3-4 years ago)

It confirmed a lot that I already thought about women, I was already living a semi red pill life style. Unlike most guys though I had no anger stage, I was already well past that.

The worst part and also the best was the realisation that I will never find another unicorn like T again.

I am left only with fond memory’s of a perfect love and a hollow present, perhaps it would have gone to shit after a few years more but I choose to hold onto only what I experienced which was all good.

I’ve accepted the fact I’ll never love again. Today I reluctantly spin plates and avoid any semblance of commitment like the Black Plague. Over the years I’ve seen most woman are fickle creatures, which is fine I hold no animosity towards them for it. I just don’t care enough anymore for the drama or bullshit.

As things stand Im 23 make £70,000 a year, am at 9% body fat lean and own my own home without a mortgage. A semi successful man all of which is possible because of a few things I’ve learned from being broken which I’ll now share.

There’s 24 hours in a day, it’s a long fucking time and when you no longer give a fuck about anything and are just hoping to die quicker you can actually be very productive to pass the time. Stop making excuses and just do it.

Anxiety is literally all in your head. I went from being nervous ordering a coffee to not giving a single fuck in the space of a minute. I have not felt even a tinge of anxiety since I lost T, I’ve not really felt much at all but that’s beside the point. The point is it’s completly Psychological, I’m not quite sure what you can do with that information but if you’re a nervous wreck go and experience something traumatic as fuck. Men are forged not born.

Everyone is caught up in their own trivial bullshit. Use this to your advantage.

9/10 people you meet are boring as fuck, don’t be that guy. Netflix and 5 a side is not a life style. Go climb a big fucking mountain and annoy some lions.

Dressing well is easy, although 90% of men choose not to. Pick something non gay that fits well job done.

Start a skin care routine. It’s cheap easy and a necessity if you don’t want to look like a pizza

Don’t take ketamine and drive. Trust me...

Be true to yourself and follow your dreams. Non of it fucking matters anyway so fuck your 9/5 and become a DJ

Exactly 4 years ago today I lost my unicorn. To this day I still can’t smile with my eyes. You are sorely missed T.

This concludes my drunken rant. If you got anything useful from this brilliant drop me a like and send me your credit card details if not it doesn’t really fucking matter does it. I know I feel better though.