Asian in an Asian country here. Pardon me as English is not my native tongue.

I grew up in a lower-middle class family of 5 with no sisters. Between my older and younger brother, I was the one who did well academically while my elder brother often played truant and was once implicated with a minor drug case. He went to jail for a couple of weeks but was released soon after, although I didn’t know the details of the case as I was too young and I didn’t bother to ask as I grew up.

My dad owned a small construction company and was the bread winner for the family for many years. However, we lived in a rented property for as long as I remembered. He changed a couple of cars, but never did buy a house. Eventually I found out his reason was that he’s not highly educated and it was difficult for him to but a house in the 80’s because there’s a lot of ‘undertable’ fees involved, and he was afraid of scammers or being taken advantage of as he couldn’t understand any contracts.

My mum, who’s almost 2 decades younger than my dad, was a housewife, but like most uneducated women back then, she mingled with people who gamble as a hobby. She spent a lot of money gambling, and I overheard my dad arguing with her sometimes because of her ‘hobby’. When our situation got rough, they had to empty the savings account which they have created for me. Then my mum had to start working too. She didn’t leave my dad, but their relationship has turned sour and never really improved since then.

I got into college with government money, came out with a diploma but never managed to study higher due to the costs involved. I had to start working to contribute to my family.

After 2 years of working, I met my first girlfriend through a mutual friend. Like all betas, I was head over heels for her. She was cute and intelligent. With all my years spent in boys schools, I was thirsty for pussy. I didn’t get any in college so I was even thirstier for her as she started showing interest for me.

I started to spent more and more time and money on her during courtship, and was taking it very seriously. Within 2 years, I moved out from home to stay with her in a rented room as she came alone from a state far away from where we were. My mum didn’t really like what happened but I didn’t care.

When my girlfriend knew more about my family and my mum, she explained to me how my family was preventing me from getting ahead in life. She had a better family background and she introduced fine dinners and traveling to my life. I wasn’t making a lot of money as I just had a typical office job, and she didn’t mind that we share our expenses together. I thought she was the best. Without hesitation, I gave access of my phone and bank account to her (although I have hers too). She wanted our relationship to be transparent. As I sucked with finance (I tend to give money to my mum whenever she begged), my girlfriend took over my finance out of ‘necessity’ so she can manage our expenses and prepare for the future. The fact that my mum once told me to breakup with her worsened the relationship between my mum and my girlfriend.

In our 8th year, we finally bought our property with a joint loan, but the property is under her name. I just went with it. After 2 years, we finally got married. We kept the wedding small (it was usual for Asian weddings to have 300 guests, but mine was 30), because she doesn’t like people very much and we went for a 4-week honeymoon in Europe instead. She has a lot of photos of traveling and good food all over her Instagram, and we seem to have a good life.

Despite the pretty surface that we display on social media, we aren’t really intimate as a married couple. We only had sex once during our month-long honeymoon. She’s not really interested in sex as she’s a low libido person. She also thinks that blowjob and eating pussy is dirty. We didn’t have sex at all before marriage. She knows that I want more sex than her, and she always tells me to just masturbate, and never touches her in a sexual way. Another reason that she gave was that she was molested by her relative when she was young and she had grew resentment towards sex. Now, I hardly ever get to fuck her, it’s less than 10 times a year and every sex is just pity sex. To make it worse, I suspect she has vaginismus, and I could hardly penetrate her except when she was on top. I couldn’t doggy at all, and I always finish during missionary mostly by rubbing my cock instead of getting aroused from penetration.

Sex aside, I had no life at all other than being with her at home. Both of us are jobless at the moment and we’re surviving on savings (mostly her savings). Ever since she took over the finances, I has no ‘own money’, my salary was hers to manage. I have 10-year old laptop and an iphone 6, that’s it. I couldn’t have my own friends because she’s not interested in me spending time with friends and I’ve always taken care of the errands such as buying takeaway food every single day.

Now we are both looking for jobs, and once I start working again, my life will be just contributing salary to the household, travel once in a while and that’s it.

She’s not hypergamous and have never rode cock carousels before. So I don’t think she’s as bad as most women. But my life is now down to just a working middle-class (although I have a better and more comfortable house than my parent’s) and it’s going to be like that for a long time to come. I’ve never felt happy for a long time. My wife doesn’t seem to feel happiness too, but she doesn’t intend to find another man and just want us both to work, save money and travel once in a while.

Am I the asshole to think that I could have a happier life as a MGTOW? It would mean I have to live in a much smaller house, but I get to spend my own money for the things I enjoy and live my life the way I want to.