Right when you think you get over the red pill rage it comes back harder. Ive been coping with it for about a year on and off.

It leaves me feeling so cold and icy .

Its like im holding on to the blue pill fantasy by a thread, a very thin/close to invisble thread.

I just want to fucking let go of this stupid dilusion already. Completely.

My mind keeps torturing me with thoughts of my ex(who cheated) and crushes from my past who led me on and i never got to touch due to being super fucking blue pilled, getting fucked by dozens of losers which is making me feel like a fucking scrub. I went through highschool a virgin just getting my heart stomped on. I know it was the past but I hate this fucking feeling.

edit:spelling