This is an honest account of the story of the worse case of oneitis I ever had. This is the story of a friend I fell in love with. This is the story of how I met my pixie dream girl and how she broke my heart, and sent me down a tailspin that nearly broke me beyond repair.

It started out three years ago. It was a couple of months after my gf of three years cheated on me with her coworker. I was still hurting from it. I lived in a small town of 2,000 in rural Alabama, so very little human interaction and plenty of Southern country culture. I decided to put myself out there online. Tried this site called Meetme and reached out to women on other cities. I wanted a distraction from my broken heart. I was 22 at the time and fresh out of college. I ended up befriending this woman, we will call her "I". She and I became good friends online for a few weeks. Over time, I became annoyed with her spoiled, vain, and bitchy behavior. One day, I decided I didn't want to be her friend. I saw people kissing her ass cause she was hot, but I was sick of it. I called her out on her shit on her Facebook wall after she made a post about how people were being assholes to her. The comment was honest and cut to the core. It started a shitstorm on her page, with people either praising me for saying the truth or shaming me for being a douche. I ended our friendship with her. I ended up with various inbox messages from her friends. A couple were dogging me for having such an opinion(I called her a hypocrite and a narcissist and gave exact reasons why she was. They couldn't attack the argument. They attacked me.). One girl hit on me, saying I have balls. Two thanked me for being honest. I ended up with a friend request from a mutual friend. I wanted new friends, so I added her, and said to her "If you're here to defend 'I' Get in line. Go ahead and ream into me, but let me introduce myself: Name is Natsume25, it's nice to meet ya. Now you can bitch at me."

Cept she didn't. She agreed with me because it turns out 'I' is an old roomie of hers. My analysis of her was on point. She introduced herself, and that is where it all started. We ended up becoming friends almost instantly. We had so much in common and thought very similarly.

Over time, this girl, let's call her 'K' and I got closer online. Three years ago, during the summer, I went on a vacation trip to Tampa Bay, FL with my older sister. Unbeknownst to me, my sister was schizoaffective. One day during the last day of the trip, my sister had an episode, and thinking I was a federal agent, had my brother and niece block all exits and attacked me. She sat her 300 lb frame on me as she called the police. During those few minutes of duress, I silently listened as my sister let out years of resentment and jealousy towards me, saying I was a waste of space and that mom should have never adopted me. Said me and black men like me were worthless niggers who deserved to die. This was my own sister. I was in disbelief. When an officer arrived, my sister told him in a fit of rage that I tried to kill her. Said that I was evil and needed to be locked away. My niece straight up lied on me saying I tried to choke my sister out. My brother is autistic and could barely speak. Cop had trouble understanding him. I gave my side, but I was outnumbered two to one. Luckily, officer asked the family if they can just drop this case since we were not natives of this state(we stayed in a resort). I elected to just catch the bus back home. Sister and niece, however, wanted me gone. So the officer sighed and said I was under arrest. I took my backpack containing my laptop and clothes and went quietly with the officer. He seemed sympathetic, but he had to do his job, so I wasn't mad.

I was charged with Domestic Violence First Strike...a misdemeanor. I spent the night in jail. I got out the next night but my family had long left, so I was stranded in central Florida...Polk County, to be exact. I will never forget that experience. I remember calling my mom to explain what had happened. I didn't get to speak because my mom asked me "Why did you beat up your sister? Why did you destroy the windows in the living room? Why are you so angry?". I told my mom I was innocent, and she said " My daughter has no reason to lie. You're on your own." and hung up. You can imagine how I felt.

So, stranded and feeling betrayed, I wandered around Lakeland, trying to figure out what to do. Had to fight a case against my own sister. Still in disbelief, I told people on Facebook I was unable to come home due to said incident. Many of the women on there had said "I'll pray for you" and some guys said "Been there, done that." and others distanced themselves. I told K and before I knew it, she showed an outpouring of support, and started making plans to come rescue me. I asked her why and she said "You're my friend, you're worth it, even if it is to save your ass.".

I was touched, but refused out of pride. I wasn't very trusting at the moment. I eventually got out of that state and went home. The case was dropped and my sister died of a heart attack shortly afterwards. Going home, I remember my mom blaming me for the incident, warning me that I shouldn't have gone in the first place. Needless to say, I made plans to leave at the first opportunity.

Around that same time K and I got closer. Eventually the day came when she came down to meet me. She drove five hours down and I ended up going back with her.

When I finally met her, I noticed how plainly pretty she was. I still remember her outfit: ripped Wrangler Jeans, a plaid buttoned shirt, and square rimmed glasses. She was cute and I was in disbelief. This was my online friend and we were actually meeting. Our

She was chatty, but intelligent. She was humorous and our conversations were extremely engaging. Having such a good time with a female, let alone one as pretty as her was foreign. I was so used to being the one to entertain a female, and loved the shoe being on the foot. So began a very beautiful friendship.

Our first night together we ordered pizza and played video games. She was also a gamer. She played my favorite punk bands from the early 2000s and we just dicked around till we fell asleep. I was enjoying female company and I didn't want to sleep with her. Ever had that feeling of just being happy with a girl with no thought of fucking her? I have. It's fucking wonderful. We ended up roommates. Days with her were honestly some of the best I ever had.

We never did anything sexual. She enclosed to me that she had a couple of flaws...that she was gay, and she had a drug problem. Said that I was different from most guys she knows. I was aware of it and chose to overlook it due to her being a good friend.

But there was the case of her ex. We will call her "C". C was that bad girl that treated her like crap, but when K was around her, she went from typically strong and independent to near submissive. It was such a switch in attitude. This ex is the reason she had a drug problem in the first place. Ex cheated on her with men and it messed her up. She sank tons of cash trying to please this girl. I tried to tell K she needed to stay far away from that girl, but I was told I didn't know what I was talking about. Then, the red flags.

We had disagreements here and there, but when we argued, she would outright insult me just to get me to submit. Back then I recognized it and dropped her like a bad habit. She would beg for me to talk to her again and I would forgive her.

I remember the day I fell for her. The biggest regret I currently have. I hadn't heard from her in a bit after I went to see my family. I was worried she had overdosed since she had expressed depressing and suicidal thoughts. I finally heard from her and she was sad about a friend she liked rejecting her. I comforted her and made her laugh. She responded with "Thanks Natsume25, what would I ever do without you? I really like having you around <3". We ended up Netflixing from a distance and hours of laughing later, I felt this nervous tick on my chest and then...butterflies. I saw her green eyes sparkle on Face time and I melted. I then immediately thought "Oh shit, not this again.". I knew I was in love. I ended up talking to her all night until we fell asleep. This happened for two more weeks. Note, this whole time, we were just friends.

I got back to her and we exchanged in a long hug. I didn't want to let her go. I thought " God why her?" I didn't want the feeling to stop. Being next to her was unbelievably intoxicating. Not a single drug I have ever touched compared to the amazing feeling I felt just being next to her, laughing, talking, and spending time.

I remember the car rides, the junk food runs, the exchange of dreams and aspirations we gave each other. She had this silly dream of being a pop star, but since pop stars tend to suck, she would settle for being an electrical engineer like her father.

One day, as we were smoking pot and drinking Hennessey, I said "I'll cut to the chase, wanna go on a date?". I said it with such a smile because I actually wanted us to happen. She told me she couldn't be in a relationship right now but really loved my company. Said she wouldn't mind it in the future though I took it as a no, but nothing changed. We were still very good friends. Everything changed a year ago.

An old roommate of hers, a guy who was also into her died in a motorcycle accident. The resulting loss drove her and I closer. We were in talks of actually dating. I was so excited and thought " I can finally be happy" but then she made a new friend. Let's call her "M.".

Around summer of last year, my friend was a few months clean and started hanging with one of her meeting hall associates. When she spoke about her new friend I immediately knew it was a crush. I was a little disappointed but listened anyway. Before I knew it, they became roommates not long after I left due to financial issues(apartment was hard to upkeep at the current income between us). And with them being roommates I barely heard from her.

I remember November of last year when we hung out. I took her for pizza and made a Toys R Us run because why not? She and I talked and she told me about how her new roommate had tried to hurt her because she had refused to give her money to help her roomie with her bf issues. She was depressed. I told her " Fuck her. I'm going to cheer you up.". We ended up on a playground, where I pushed her on the swings and we just watched the clouds and listened to music. On the way back, I told her that I don't tolerate abusers and that I should go and give her friend a piece of my mind. I remember what she said to me. It was something that pierced my heart.

"If you ever confront her I will drop our friendship and pretend I don't know you. I'm telling you this in confidence, don't fucking betray me.". Followed by "I really hope she texts me back. I miss her.",

Holy fucking shit. My jaw dropped. I wanted to scream. I've been a good friend and that's the thanks I get?

This friend of hers was very well off, while I was getting by. But this friend of hers was straight and wasn't into my friend. I kept my peace, hoping that this was just a tense moment. I was lying to myself because around that time I had recently discovered redpill and didn't want what they said to be true. I didn't want to think she simply valued this other person because she was wealthier than me. Truth is, that very thought was hard to cope with. After all we went through, I couldn't deal.So I reasoned it away and continued with the friendship.

Months down the line she and I had arguments here and there, but our friendship remained strong. This summer, everything changed.

Memorial Day weekend, she texted me out of the blue. She asked me to go to the fair with her. Just us. I refused at first, citing I didn't want to burden her cause I had bills to pay. She said she would be glad to pay. We ended up going and it was one of the most amazing times of my life. I fell in love with her all over again. She told me she was having issues with her roomie. Said roomie was in an off and on again relationship with her ex boyfriend. K felt unappreciated and asked "Is there any person out there who would love me the way I want to be loved? Someone who wouldn't use me for my money, attention, or body?". I rolled my eyes and said " If you can't see the obvious, I can't help you, K.". Despite that, we had such a great time. She texted me later saying "I had such a great time, thank you. Let's do it again sometime!!!". Sadly, that would never happen. I was on cloud nine. I never would have imagined how wrong it would go.

Around late June her texts became even more infrequent. She claimed she got a promotion at work and her hours became hectic. Her coworker, a friend of mine, confirmed this. Yet, due to the fact our conversations seemed one sided, my gut told me something was off. Here is where I fucked up royally.

I decided to confront her about it. Asked her why her texts seemed so lazy. She stuck by the fact that she was always busy. She said she didn't have time to socialize. It didn't feel right. It was days since I heard from her, so I turned to a mutual friend and asked if he had seen her. He said she had seen her, because they spend everyday together. What had happened?

She had moved out from M's place and had heard her ex had purchased a brand new house. She immediately worked her magic and moved in with C and C'w husband. I knew nothing of this and was irate about it. She told me she had long gotten rid of the ex due to trying to remain clean.

I confronted her about it and she got mad I even talked to her friend about it. She accused me of stalking her and said I needed to calm down. I asked her if she can try putting a little more effort into the friendship. She said she will, but she is always busy these days.

Around the same time my mom had a heart attack, my closest uncle died and I had recently gotten into a knife fight with a burglar. A week later, I was laid off from my job. I was fucking depressed. I decided to call her, as a week before I had comforted her about an issue with her new roomie. She told me she was in a meeting but she would hit me up afterwards. I asked her to take five minutes out of her time to just let me rant. She said nothing. I didn't hear from her for six days. When she texted me she mentioned she couldn't hit me back up because she was in an area with no service(you boys know that's a classic excuse). She immediately started to talk about her ex. I said "You just now get back to me after a week? Where were you when I needed you.". She told me, and I quote " I didn't come here to argue. Have a good day." And went silent. The next day our mutual friend told me to stay away from her because I was creeping her out.

I was visibly upset. I realized what had happened. She had ditched me on my time of need to get laid. Sex for her was more important than just helping a friend. I was truly mad at myself. I finally fell apart. I lamented my existence. For not being attractive enough for her to give a damn about me. I didn't want to feel the pain, rage, and betrayal. I was bruised up, jobless, and now heartbroken. I felt so completely alone, stuck in the abyss of pain and misery. So I smoked and drank myself into a stupor. I was so high it hurt from crying, and so drunk I couldn't stop crying. I was in a gutter and didn't give a fuck.

I banged my way around town but it didn't help the pain. I decided I didn't want to live anymore. I left a suicide message online and readied a gun. Seeing it, one of my guy friends ran down to see me and begged me not to end it. He had asked me what had happened and told him, through tears, what happened over the summer. He hugged me and said he wasn't leaving until I was okay. He spent hours just sitting there, listening and sympathizing. He skipped work but said he would take the hit, because it was better than going to my funeral.

I decided to go somewhere else just to clear my head. It took me weeks to get to a point where I didn't want to die. It was the lowest point of my life.

Last time I heard from K she had risen upon ranks in corporate. She was doing immensely well financially. Meanwhile I was pulling the pieces back together. Three weeks ago I finally accepted it. I had posted here before and agreed with many aspects of this place. But in the back of my mind, I wanted you guys to be wrong because I couldn't imagine living in a world like that.

There isn't a happy ending to this. She is doing well financially and is currently dating someone new.(a guy, btw.)I was labeled a creep and a loser. I lost a circle of friends in this mess. But it forced me to accept that MGTOW truly is the only way.

I'm still scarred from the betrayal. I got no justice. I am only just pulling myself up of the emotional carnage. Least we didn't get married. But this woman, who was once such a wonderful person to me, turned stone cold like that one Demi Lovato song. I couldn't ignore the truth anymore. She is the reason I'm here. She is the reason I lost my happy go lucky side. She is the reason I am so cynical of the world.

And it is my fault I let her do this. And even after all of this time, a part of me still loves her.

Sorry this is so long, but this was months of tears unleashed in one post. Natsume25 has finally seen the light, and I got the scars to prove it. Keep your heads up, guys.

Hopefully, my story can serve as a realistic anecdote on why I chose this path, so that others don't have to go through what I did.

TLDR: A betrayal by a best female friend proved to me that there was no divine justice on the world. Nearly killed myself over the events as I watched my friend rise up in rank while I was left near penniless and physically broken.