I hate Approaching. How do I start loving it?

horologist2018 · 2018-11-20T20:13:58+00:00

Approaching triggers my fear of rejection, and my fear of embarrassment.

It does for everyone. You're not the only one.

I notice when I do cold approaches I'm hesitant to do them in public places that I return to often for fear that my reputation there will be tarnished.

It will not be tarnished if you approach correctly.

I appear alpha by being indifferent, having dominant body language, and being fashionable.

Good things. So appear Super-Alpha by talking to strangers.

But I am scared to approach beautiful women giving me IOIs sometimes because I'm worried they'll think less of me.

They will think MORE of you.

Do I just man up and take the hit knowing what skills it will result in in the long run?

Yes. Go out and talk to strangers. If you need some Foot in the Water practice; cold approach old people for a week. Don't approach any hot girls, just approach old women. I don't care what you talk about, just talk about anything. It will loosen you up.

Your approaches should never be overtly "He's hitting on me" anyway. Your approach to a smoking hot girl should be the same as it would with approaching some 80 year old lady; charming, nice, conversational, just saying hello, and moving on with your bad self. The difference is where you CLOSE the interaction. With the 80 year old lady, you'll shake her hand and tell her it was nice meeting her. With the smoking hot girl, you'll pick up on her IOIs, and if you get them, you'll get her number, and move on.

BigDickEnergy123 · 2018-11-20T19:49:40+00:00

Eh, you'll get rejected a lot, but the people I know who have the most hookups/fwb's/relationships are the ones who have been rejected a lot. Or are really successful in all subsets of their life. (career, school, social circle, hobbies)

Usually when people are about to die they tend to not regret what they did, but what they didn't do.

Just remember if you do get rejected a lot or anything, be respectful about it and don't have a temper tantrum or let it affect your self worth.

FireDrillem · 2018-11-20T21:21:08+00:00

Not only do you “man up and take the hit” you embrace the hit. Fully experience it until you come to realize how silly it is to even give a fkuc.

Remember, It’s her loss if she rejects you.

Also, a fun way to get started is thru sales. I used to sell all kinds of shit door to door, at festivals, trade shows etc. You wouldn’t believe the ridiculous shit I would say to get people’s attention. I even had Strawberries on a stick dipped in chocolate one year. Nothing but women in my face all day.

Take them off the pedestal. Many of them aren’t even half way intelligent and most of them are full of shit. See them for what they are and learn to laugh at them. Too many of them are literally worthless. Lighten up!

[deleted] · 2018-11-20T21:09:10+00:00

Change your perspective by "zooming out" and looking at a larger time frame than the time it takes to do a single approach. For example, consider the time frame of your next 30 approaches and what things are going to look like after that. If you have even just a 10 percent success rate, that means you have three new numbers.

Keep in mind as well that people will only see you as more confident if you take rejection well.

dilulabra · 2018-11-20T22:49:44+00:00

Don't force yourself to Approach, no matter what most of Red Pillers say. I hate rejection as well, theferore I started practicing my own version of Passive game mode. Basically, you throw a hook, and see if anyting catches. Your hook is your excellence at job, having good car, money, or looks, and if girl is truly interested in you -- she'll let you know, directly or indirectly.

Title	I hate Approaching. How do I start loving it?
Author	buddhismo_communismo
Upvotes	3
Comments	6
Date	November 20, 2018 7:46 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9yvkt7/i_hate_approaching_how_do_i_start_loving_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-hate-approaching-how-do-i-start-loving-it.54209 https://theredarchive.com/post/54209

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