Or “get it out of your system” as they say.

At this point, I don’t even care if this thread gets me banned because one too many members start whining, I genuinely do not.

This isn’t even just related to women either, actually none of it is.

I have been having a crisis that led to me coming on this forum and its kind of been the core of all of my threads out there. To make this long story as short as possible, I did not have the “formative” experiences you’re supposed to have when you are younger.

As I have expanded my social circle from a poverty ghetto neighborhood, I have found that the kids who had wealthier parents got a chance to experience more of life in adolescence and even in college. Now that I talk to them, I realize they have had these spring break experiences and a lot of experiences in life to get it “out of their system”. Even some of the girls I have been on dates with had a spring break experience, wild memories to look back while my life in youth was real boring and tame.

Right now my dating life is not suffering much at all, from dating apps alone I can usually get a date a week. Yet I feel like my life is not “exciting” and high adrenaline or hedonistic as I want it to be. The readings I do talk about a “hobby” but hobbies are boring, they’re too slow, they’re too “clean”. Anything to read and expand my knowledge is a waste of my time I feel like because I did that more growing up due to circumstances instead of partying a lot.

That’s my problem, I feel like my life is so clean and repressed that it is driving me to insanity. I dream of adrenaline fueled hedonistic parties that would make Satan himself raise an eyebrow or life experiences of the sort like that but I feel as if college might have been the last chance for that.

I hate that my life is just so clean and wish there was a way to really break out of my shell. I wish that there were things a man in his 20s done with college and working could do to make life exciting that were not so “clean”. Its like why the fuck does life and god put all of these goody two shoe morally self-righteous cunts that should have been aborted in my life?

I desperately wish I had a Dan Bilzerian, Van Wilder or some kind of a hedonist with a total lack of morals as a friend to get me into that lifestyle that I missed out on growing up. I wish I had the chance to do things I regret in a good way, if that sounds right.

What do I do?

Any advice on how I can have my date with Satan?