Greeting,

I live far away from my hometown, Quebec, 4000 km from it, join the military to make decent money, which is pretty good.

I left all behind, good real friend, family, if i ever had one sometime I ask myself (...). I still talk to the good friends on the phone sometime, maybe a good 30-35 min conversation but this is it. My mom is a insane alcoholic with no more contact with reality, I don't talk to her. I talk to my dad, maybe once every 2-3 month, on the phone but you can tell this is a duty, like just to prove to himself he is still part of my life but he is becoming more of a stranger to me. He is a millionaire enjoying retirement with a new girlfriend, wasting all his money on useless antique and traveling the world. I am not part of his life anymore... that it, this is the family I have now...

Since I was all by myself here, I started to focus on relationship with women to find friendship, love and family. The first one was a girl from BC, Canada. Always trying to be right and have the last word, arguing no-stop about thing she did not even know about. As a man, Logic always been the main subject of my action and philosophy, which is not the case with women which is acting on emotions.

Like keep making fun of me because I make too much wide turn with my car, until the day while she is driving and getting in a accident because she turn too quick and messed up the back side of her car on a concrete wall in a parking lot. Calmly, I said, "look you should reconsider the way your seeing my wide turn" .And there you go, while confronted with facts and common sense, she start screaming and yelling. Basically, this was like that for 5 years...

The last one, my ex-Chinese wife, oh man... I talk enough about her here. Feel free to see my last post to see the Demon itself...

Here I am, alone in my apartment, the only thing I have is my job, I bang some random crazy girl looking for a strong military chad but I am sick of those horny girl always begging me to fuck them, I get fucking phone call her telling me " I beg you to fuck me" like where is the honor and integrity in this? putting my penis in a whore who base her self esteem on the number of man she sleep with...

So here I am, I have nothing, no family, no friend ( fucking English people here hate french guy here in BC ). What the fuck is the goal of my life right now? I am asking for guidance guys... I have this sick conception of life to be happy, you keep a women who love you. I am so fucking condition by the fake fairy tale of finding this perfect girl but I understand there is no such thing, man and women DONT fucking understand each other.

I wish I was born in 100 AD, as a Roman, where the real value of masculinity was promoted, train hard, fight war, kill your enemy, prove your worth on the battlefield, own slaves, have a wife who respect you and understand the man is the leader of the family.

Nowadays, in the fucking SJW world, white male are the enemy. At work, the only focus is diversity, complete retard get promoted because they are women, gay, black, lesbian or Asian. White guy are the last priority. They even put a 100 lbs Asian girl as a firefighter to be part of the causality clearance team, this girl duty is to put a 200 lbs man on her back and transport him to safety away from the fire! she can even store the unit with food delivery because this is too heavy. BUT to promote diversity, they had to let her be part of that team.

Are you really living your life if your alone? if i take all my vacation which is more than 35 days off, and die of a heart attack in my apartment on the first day, the only people who will notice is my work when i don't show up, 35 days later...

give me some fucking cheer up guys, i fucking need it...