Having children without marriage?

seattleron · 2016-03-07T18:54:31+00:00

Most people you talk to will say having a kid is the best thing that's ever happened to them. Mostly because that's the PC thing to say. Not that they're lying, but that they've always been told that it the best thing in life. I'm sure it's amazing. I'm sure it's rewarding, and I can only imagine the love you feel is also something that cannot be expressed or compared to with in anything else.

But, there are prices. You will sacrifice your money, your sleep, your time, your health, your future, and everything you've known about life up until that point. Life is no longer about you and will never be the same. And you are risking having a kid with someone who could fuck you over royally, even if you don't marry her. Depending on your state, and the judge, you could be paying out way more that you deserve to pay out, you could be limited to 4 days a month to see your kid, and you could have someone raising your kid in ways that you don't want. The mom could tell the kid all kinds of bad shit about you and the kid has an opinion formed without knowing the truth, and you're left with all of the sacrifices without the influence. This is all worst case scenarios of course, but these are the things you must think about.

In reality, people should not have kids for themselves. You should have a kid for what you can do for them, not what they can do for you. It's absolutely the most selfish thing any human can do. I've heard so many women say they want a kid because they want someone to love them forever. For fuck's sake I have no idea how anyone can say that with a straight face. A kid is not brought into this world to give you warm feelz.

IMO, this world sucks anymore, why would you even bring a kid into it? I personally have no kids and inch closer to getting snipped by the day. I don't want to bring a kid into this world to have them taken away from me the first chance his mother gets the tingles for Chad, I don't want to only see him every other weekend, I don't want him/her growing up not knowing what it's like to have dad around, I don't want to be broke, unhappy, miserable, and missing my kids, and I don't want a kid growing up in this world where things just are not very good right now.

On top of that, I know plenty of good guys who tried their hardest to raise good kids who turned into fuck ups, or dead junkies, or assholes, or people who just don't want anything to do with their parents.

If you're seriously thinking about having a kid, think through all of this for years and years, because in the end it's not fair to the kid if you don't.

That kid should not brought on earth to serve you or some selfish, vain goal you have, he/she should be brought on this earth because of what you can do for them, and if you're not willing to truly do that, just go help out the kids that are already here in some way instead.

Edit: formatting.

trumpisafaggybeta · 2016-03-07T20:13:56+00:00

This is the biggest conundrum that RP men face in this day and age. Marriage is a losing proposition for us, yet at the same time, it is the bedrock foundation for any sort of family that requires child-rearing.

royal_fucktard · Mon Mar 7 19:18:34 2016 UTC

I dated a woman much older than me (28M, 41F at the time). We were off and on again for about 5 years. During that time we tried for a kid since her biological clock was ticking and I always wanted children.

Everything was great until I let her pressure me into marriage. Our daughter was 9 mo. old when we got married. She took a job and joined the Army and that was pretty much the end of our marriage.

I don't remember having any issue what-so-ever when I had that "out" of bachelorhood. We took our daughter traveling and camping all over the place. When marriage came, I no longer had that "out" and she took advantage of that by taking a job, switching branches of the military, and being generally absent in the life of our child.

I love my daughter, she's the best thing ever. However, as you can see, when I finally took that step and signed over my commitment to her, hypergamy revealed itself, and the relaltionship went to shit. She started coming home late from her new job, staying out at the bar by her new workplace, etc. etc. Thankfully TRP taught me what a beta cuck was and NOT to be that guy.

At the end of the day the only thing I'm facing now is child support. So just keep that in mind if the relationship turns for the worst.

ihaphleas · 2016-03-07T19:22:26+00:00

What /u/seattleron said. I don't think it's so bad though. Realize that the world is changing faster than when you were a kid. Look at the difference between you and your dad's lives -- the difference between you and your kid's would be more than twice that. Don't expect your kid to be anything like you -- that's a thing of the past. You have a 50% chance of having a girl -- is that what you want? Even if you have a boy and try to do everything right, there's a better than 50% chance that he'll just stay in his room with VR porn or a sex bot.

[deleted] · 2016-03-07T20:07:09+00:00

I fully intend on finding a good woman(No unicorns, AWALT) and having kids someday. I'm not getting married though.

Rasalom72 · 2016-03-07T17:58:36+00:00

This won't get any more replies, because it probably won't be seen. This type of thing belongs in ASKTRP.

yummyluckycharms · 2016-03-07T20:20:42+00:00

One word surrogacy.

My friend had his kid via an agency in Thailand that had fly in egg donor from a partner agency in russia. The paper work is signed in Thailand, and he was able to bring his kid back home to canada. India is probably the better choice now due to the bad pr angle that the australian couple made.

monobrauw · 2016-03-07T21:01:50+00:00

I think an implicit facet of the definition “Alpha” implies the social/tribal part of a man. The decisions I’ve made have brought me to where I’m today, which is with a 3 year old little dude (unexpected, but tremendously loved), currently going through separation with his mother. Before I got into this, 5 years ago or so… I was on your side of the fence, why bring kids to this world when a) there are waaaay to many people already? and b) if you are not giving them a better starting point than you had, then why bother?. But fatherhood slapped my hace hard, and for the good, I feel. This new role has inspired in me a sense of mentorship, an opportunity to lead and build my own road with the ones I love, it’s corny, it may be the PC thing to say, it sucks some (most) time, but the way I see it it’s the most primal thing we’ll ever do and you’ll never understand it until you are there.

But I digress, the thing that has my attention at the moment is this: before the break up with the mother became a reality, my mind was in snipping my tubes and staying with only one kid. “One is enough, single fatherhood sounds great and if someday we breakup I’ll still have my goals and my life” I said to myself. Now on the other side of the grass, tasting what it’s like to be the principal, single, caretaker of the boy, I’ve had the opportunity to grasp the importance of nuclear families, not only for the self and the rest of the members of the family, but also for society and “us” in general. Raising a kid it’s definitely a task for 2 pairs of hands, but also a task of two souls, preferably opposite/complimentary/reproductive forces such as a man and a woman. Raising a kid it’s not what you see on Instagram or Facebook, endless trips to the mall, always playing, always chilling, always giving attention to the kid, that’s a facade not that difficult to build this days. Parenting it’s underwhelming and unforgiveful, it’s hard and not for everyone, but more important, it’s a journey you need to share with someone, the tribal part of the alpha I started talking about.

So now, actually living the single fatherhood life (adapting to it yet), with the complete freedom to snip my tubes without having to inform anyone, I’m having second guesses. Why should I resign to the opportunity to build my tribe? Do I want my current kid to live on a him-and-me environment all the time? Isn’t the warmth of a home a truly comforting space for us as people? But not just for him, but also for me… don’t I deserve to meet more girls? Wouldn’t it be great to truly have that first–mate by your side?

In conclusion, I think having a kid should be a) a conscious decission, b) emotionally and financially viable and (I’m still having to figure out if it’s a must or not) c) in conjunction with a female energy

eddiae · 2016-03-07T21:02:54+00:00

you can easily have kids if you're an alpha chad, just fuck selected girls without condom, they instinctively try to have your dna and make a beta raise it if you make it clear you're not "hubby material", and only "fun roughfuck material"

GuitarHero07 · 2016-03-07T21:38:24+00:00

It is possible to have a lasting and functional marriage. If you want kids, that's still the best way to do it. The key is to screen screen screen. Yes there are many branchswinging whores out there, but you can still find some women who are serious about marriage. Make sure she is young (preferably 26 or below), with a very low cock count....preferably a virgin. While it's rare these day, there are still 20-something virgins out there. If you've studied your TRP, it's not hard to spot the carousel riders....they have way too many tells to hide. If necessary, don't be afraid to look into foreign women.

After you have found a woman worthy of marriage, make sure you get a pre-nup. It should be signed at least 6 months before the wedding and she should have her own legal counsel representing her when the agreement is signed. To make it an enforceable pre-nup, make sure that she gets something. Divorces will hurt, but the key is make it recoverable for you.

After marriage, don't backslide into your beta tendencies. You must continue to be the head of the household. You must continue gaming your wife. Dread game is important. Fortunately, if you find a high quality feminine wife, she will naturally pair bond with you and accept your leadership. That won't be the case with Susy Superslut who was pumped and dumped by 25 dudes before she ever met you.

Rommel0502 · 2016-03-07T23:19:33+00:00

Of the two - marriage and children - one is reversible, the other is not.

Granted, if you dont have a prenup, you could get reamed in the split, but once you're done, you're done. Having kids is a life sentence and shackles you to the women for eternity.

Worst of all is marrying a woman with kids. You get the jackpot of paying for them, all the while getting disrespected by the little shits and having your wife always tell you - "they come first."

No thanks.

Title	Having children without marriage?
Author	capt_behindsight
Upvotes	15
Comments	21
Date	March 7, 2016 5:43 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/49drmd/having_children_without_marriage/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/having-children-without-marriage.56801 https://theredarchive.com/post/56801

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