tl;dr: here in the north, the first signs of spring have arrived and girls are coming out of their winter hibernation. Here is what I'm doing to capitalize.

I'm from the frozen north and during the winter the dating scene literally and figuratively freezes up. People don't like dealing with the cold so they simply don't go out and girls have "winter boyfriends" simply for the convenience. Spring is coming and girls are starting to come out of their winter hibernation. Whats winter hibernation? Its when girls (and boys) hunker down for the cold months with partners that they don't necessarily like because its better than spending cold nights alone. (http://www.returnofkings.com/8830/hot-chick-hibernation). But spring is here, and just like all the hot girls will be shedding their winter coats at the first chance to show some skin, they'll also be shedding their "winter boyfriends" at the first chance of some new dick.

Fuck, I'm in the same boat: Girlfriended up a plate this winter but now I'm getting ready to move on. I'm not gonna make the mistake of not having someone lined up first before dumping her: I've made that mistake in the past and it really kinda sucks. This year I'm branch-swinging. but how? heres the outline of what I'm gonna do, details after.

Step one: want to meet girls? first you gotta find 'em.

where do girls like to hangout during the first warm weekends of the year?

  • coffee shops.
  • bar/restaurant/cafes with outdoor patios.
  • any large festival or event
  • outdoor activities (bike riding, hiking, etc)

Step two: want to meet girls? Talking to them is part of the deal!

1) identify girls you want to talk to

2) start the conversation

3) see if the two of you would get along (treat this like an unofficial first date)

4) get their number/make plans for later

Step three: first "official" date and beyond

This isn't really a problem for me, its getting to this point that is difficult so I won't even be looking at this point for this post.

so lets move on to the details. Heres what I did:

I'm 32, done with college a long time ago, and won't even consider dating people at work. Truth be told there aren't a lot of easy ways to meet new people (let alone women) at my age. To make finding the girls easier for me, I've googled the various coffee shops and trendy bars and cafes in my area to get the lay of the land. Basically I was looking for places that met the following criteria:

  • near to a university or predominantly young professional area because I'm looking for girls in the 21 - 28 age range (i'm 32).
  • artsy fartsy neighborhoods because I like artsy fartsy girls.
  • fairly good density of shops/locations
  • easy for me to get to (by car, bus, or bike)
  • not too expensive

Once the girls have been found, how to move on to a conversation? well, first figure out which girls you actually want to talk to. Here is what I'm looking for:

  • above average attractiveness
  • sitting alone or with at most 1 other female friend
  • gives some indication she would be open to conversation.

easy. now comes the absolute most difficult part for me: starting the conversation with a complete stranger and absolutely no obvious reason for it to be socially acceptable to do so.

Seriously, I have no problem talking with people at parties (its a party! you're supposed to talk to strangers!) or at work (its work! you need to talk to get shit done!) or events i'm participating in (its a marathon! talking to other runners helps with the boredom!), but I am absolutely terrible at starting conversations without some pretext other than "you're hot and i want to fuck."

so I watched a bunch of youtube videos of how to do it and have compiled them at the bottom of the post. long story short? basically say that you thought she was pretty (or some other interesting thing you noticed about her) and therefore wanted to talk to her. than move into more get-to-know you topics while maintaining a flirty vibe (where you from, what you do, why you here). most importantly, don't chicken out: stay until you get her number or she asks you to leave. (standard be confident and not creepy disclaimers obviously apply). also don't bullshit.

I'm not going into details about the rest of the steps because I don't have problems with them: This post is focused on what I need to put effort into. Which also includes:

how to prevent the girlfriend from finding out while I find someone to replace her (establishing a counter narrative):

  • I am suddenly in a "crunch month" at work and will be working longer hours every day. This includes going earlier and staying later. (I'm really going earlier, but finishing earlier too so I can go out and meet new girls).
  • I am also attending "networking events" at night in order to advance my career (this is actually true but not as many as she thinks)
  • cash only while out meeting girls: don't want girlfriend to accidentally find a receipt.
  • new email address in case new girls want to do contact by emails (only log in from incognito windows and make sure to log out when you are done).
  • burner phone: they are super cheap. leave it in your work bag, on silent (or off). do not tell girlfriend about it. never let her know or suspect you have it. don't use it at home, ever. make sure it is password protected with something different than your regular phone so she can't break in if she finds it.
  • NOTHING EXTRA: no "surprise flowers" or "date nights" or whatever with the girlfriend: I don't do these anyway. If I started now, she would get suspicious.

Alright, thats my plan. I've already put parts of it into motion but I just started so we will see how it goes.

videos of how to talk to girls because this is the hardest part for me:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tw_ejvradkU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABgL2LcoBTU

https://youtu.be/rj4jN5XKf0I?t=34

https://youtu.be/p4b3qfIF1EI?t=47