All throughout highschool I was obviously strongly attracted to girls but didn't kiss one until I was about 15 and had never had a girlfriend. Now that I recollect it, girls bullied me a lot, like they are prone to do unless it's a chad. One time a couple walked to my house from nearby, one I liked, I was excited...they egged me and ran away. I experienced all of the sexual frustration and rejection. I got laid at 16. Got shamed at school for fucking a particular girl that wasn't even bad looking. Pretty much ruined my time at school.

At 17 I met a girl at a party. She was drunk and seemed like a slut. I didn't know what red flags were and just wanted to fuck. Added her on facebook, eventually hung out with her, and she was a 'virgin'. (A virgin slut that gave plenty of guys BJ's? Fucking western society.)

First time we were going to have sex, she, for no reason at all before it started, got out the car and ran down the street crying, laid down in the middle of the street, saying she wanted to die. Man was that a fucking red flag lol.

Anyway, ended up getting laid from her for a month or two, I became somewhat attached, she acted sad that I hadn't asked her to be my girlfriend, I never had one before so I did. I knew it was a mistake and tried to stop myself because of the craziness she displayed earlier. Anyway.

Thus begins 6 year relationship.

First things that went wrong were her mood swings which she'd take out on me. One moment she loves me, next she hates me and is insulting me.

Then she would do insane things like speed up the car as if she was suicidal, or randomly strangle me for a few seconds for no reason at all.

This progressed into full blown physical abuse with constant emotional abuse. Sometimes it was every day all day, other times it would stop for a month then continue.

I was 'walking on eggshells', constantly afraid to set her off. If I suggested leaving her or forcing help on her, she would simply threaten me/herself. With rape accusations and suicide and killing me. For some reason she would always apologies and act like she loved me so much, she even got my name tattooed on her. I thought I 'loved her', thinking the first girlfriend would be the one for life and I had a responsibility to her also, and would forgive her every time, trying to speak about wisdom and find a solution, thinking it was my fault for not helping her better. Boy was I naive.

She would scream rape randomly to control me. She would bite me, bite my face. She would strangle me out of the blue. Hold knives to my throat threatening to kill me, sometimes for a moment, sometimes for more than half an hour.

This physical abuse alone occurred in one form or another more than one hundred times at least. It was likely somewhere around five hundred over the course of 6 years as it started early and was nearly every day.

I could barely sleep, whenever she couldn't sleep she would be angry I could, then wake me to threaten me for no reason.

She would not stop smoking weed, trying to stop her was impossible. Trying to get her help felt impossible because of the threats and my belief that I loved her.

It was like she had a second personality which would manifest and then disappear to be replaced with apologies and kindness. Don't be fooled, it's all women and I've seen it in others.

At one point she strangled me so hard my entire neck was bruised black and I called the police out of fear. I was so naive I regretted it and tried to avoid her getting in trouble because I felt bad and she was sad/I thought it wasn't her fault because she was nutters.

Anyway, after passively enduring this abuse for almost 6 years, (remember, even tho ti was so frequent, we somehow still managed to have 70% good times, nature exploration, beaches, games, tv, cooking, living together in different places, all the usual stuff) the entire time she told me she was amazed by me for forgiving her and that she loved me unconditionally forever, etc, etc.

Ghosts me one day. I come home to find police accusing me of controlling behaviour, putting a domestic violence order on me, arresting me, they held me for 2 hours in a cold cell, then released me with no socks and no phone and no money on the streets at night with shorts and a t shirt, just for a DVO, the one she got previously they didn't take her anywhere or do anything. I couldn't even go and get my stuff for weeks, I also was blamed for her pipes for smoking weed. Luckily none of this was criminal.

For about 60 days following I was super depressed and tried to contact her. I thought maybe her parents had done something, surely she wouldn't just ignore me after 6 years right? Without a word or a goodbye? We slept together nearly every single night during that time. Just earlier she was saying how she loved me and wanted to get married?

Well, I sent text messages while crying my ass off for two months, about 30 in total, no replies, confessing my love and asking what was going on, genuinely thinking this couldn't have been her decision but must be her parents or something forcing this on her, and got charged with breaching the domestic violence order, even tho my texts were non-threatening, it was 'harrassment'. I also left a love letter at her parents house while crying.

I freaked out depressed, awaited court, managed to get a section 10, so no criminal charges or conviction as I literally had done nothing but send kindly written texts...

A while later I had a shorter relationship, exclusively dating, she was by all accounts my girlfriend, about 4 months after 'official girlfriend start', I saw her phone, I found out that a girl who was always 'busy' with work etc, had about 20 beta orbiters, 4 she was fucking regularly.

She denied it despite the undeniable evidence, finally admitting she had been doing it when I showed all the dick pics etc.

(I also have seen other guys get fucked by women in various ways. I also have always been red pilled about every other topic, just blind to the truth about women and feminist propoganda as I was horny, etc.)

I also never heard a word to this day from the girl of the 6 year relationship. I saw her new facebook recently, she has added many Chads and badboys, dreadlocks and the such.

Thus, now, I am so ultra red pilled, so amazingly MGTOW for life, and know for sure, AWALT.

TLDR: Crazy abusive girlfriend for 6 years ghosts me without a word, charges me with harassment for texting her. Shorter relationship girlfriend was cheating on me the whole time with multiple guys. Remorselessly lying. I was even telling her about morality and not cheating during the relationship, and she acted virtuous the entire time.

Edit: I also lost a lot of money. And the girls proved themselves to be essentially brain dead many times, as if they were unable to learn or see reality at all.