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Men in Love

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April 22, 2016

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Can men really not tell when a woman doesn’t love them?

No, they can’t.

Why? Because men want to believe that they can be happy, and sexually satisfied, and appreciated, and loved, and respected by a woman for who he is. It is men who are the real romantics, not women, but it is the grand design of hypergamy that men believe it is women who are the romantic ones.

Hypergamy, by its nature, defines love for women in opportunistic terms, leaving men as the only objective arbiters of what love is for themselves. So yes, men can’t tell when a woman doesn’t love them, because they want to believe women can love them in the ways they think they could.

So he finds a woman, who says and shows him that she loves him, but not in the manner he’s had all this time in his head. Her love is based on qualifications and is far more conditional than what he’d been led to believe, or convinced himself, love should be between them. Her love seems duplicitous, ambiguous, and seemingly, too easily lost in comparison to what he’d been taught for so long is how a woman would love him when he found her.

So he spends his monogamous efforts in ‘building their relationship’ into one where she loves him according to his concept, but it never happens. It’s an endless tail-chase of maintaining her affections and complying with her concept of love while making occasional efforts to draw her into his concept of love. The constant placating to her to maintain her love conflicts with the neediness of how he’d like to be loved is a hypergamic recipe for disaster, so when she falls out of love with him he literally doesn’t know that she no longer loves him. His logical response then is to pick up the old conditions of love she had for him when they first got together, but none of that works now because they are based on obligation, not genuine desire. Love, like desire, cannot be negotiated.


Post Information
Title Men in Love
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 53
Comments 13
Date 22 April 2016 12:49 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/57943
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4fw3u7/men_in_love/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
monogamyhypergamythe red pill

[–]Senior Contributordeepthrill10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

You know, I may be against the grain here, but I've never minded that love is conditional. Conditional implies it's transactional.

My love towards a woman or anyone for that matter is conditional upon them being loyal, valuable to me, etc.

Why should I expect any differently in return?

I am not afraid that I'll "slip up" and she won't love me anymore. My life is constantly aiming to bring value long term.

Sure any life has ups and downs but I want a woman who has the wisdom to see that the average trend is upwards.

My authentic, genuine self at my core is strong, and so I have no problem "opening up".

The idea of "love me for me" works just fine if your core "me" essence is powerful, joyful, value generating, etc.

I guess you could say conditional love keeps me sharp, but I'm staying sharp because I choose to, for my own benefit.

If I want to "relax" and "just be myself" and still be loved by a woman, she will. I have no doubt. And if not, maybe I need to take a harder look inside and check if my genuine self really has internalized the red pill to the point where it's not strenuous to be masculine.

[–]1ToSeeAndToHear6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

I know a girl who's been dating a guy for a few months now.

When she's around him, she makes every effort to be all smiles. They play stupid couple games with each other and are sickeningly cute at times.

The reason it sickens me is that I've known for months that she's not in love with him. She hates spending time with him, but can't dump him without worrying that he'll kill himself over it, and that she'll blame herself for it.

As far as I can tell, the guy has no idea. He has no other social connections, has a narcissist for a mother, and the emotional fortitude of an 11-year-old girl.

I'd help, but I think the guy is beyond anything I could do to "save" him. He's working to get to the level most BP guys are, he'd choke on the Red Pill.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, I don't think you can get any farther from abundance mentality/preselection than a girl being afraid you'd kill yourself if she leaves you. She's probably drier than a desert.

[–]RedMoonAscendant4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Love and desire being non-negotiable is one of the hardest things to learn from a life of blue-pill conditioning.

This is odd, since women will actually tell you, that nice guys aren't really nice, they're creepy.

This is their way of saying "you're trying to negotiate for my love and affection, and that isn't going to work."

[–]Bielzabutt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is golden~ the unfortunate thing is that women have everything to gain in this scenario. They can and will string you along for free drinks, free meals, free jewelry, emotional vomiting, and still keep up the pretense that "I just don't want to hurt his feelings" BULLSHIT They really just don't want to give up all the free stuff.

[–]WildmanThaGod1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is the unfortunate truth and for me personally the hardest and most depressing part of having my eyes opened. I wish with all my heart that a girl would love me for who I am, but that's not gonna happen, so it's all up to me to be dope.

[–]GuitarHero07-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I felt the same way but now I've learned to manage my expectations. We cannot hold women to the same standard as men....that is a recipe for severe dissapointment. We can however use our knowledge to get what we want our of relationships with women whether it's wham, bam, thank you ma'am or a serious LTR.

[–]1StoicCrane0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

See women for what they are instead of what you envision them to be and the relationship is yours to steer.

[–]TRPApprentice0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, men in love are like a loyal dog, meanwhile a woman in love is more like an opportunistic jackal, always looking for the next best cock. TRP is right to tell men not to deal with this 'love' bullshit

[–]peruvianlurker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm crossing the line here with esoteric terms, just wondering what people believe or think here:

Does unconditional love exists in man? If so, can man love himself unconditionally or it has to be the ideal of woman.

God loves man unconditionally?

[–]TRPApprentice-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, unfortunately too many men fall into the fairytale trap. Women are for fucking, not loving

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Exactly. No woman deserves your love. In fact, they'll despise you for it. Women do not want love.

[–]TRPApprentice0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Damn right! Women want an alpha that they can domesticate later on

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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