The first time I realized that there was something wrong with the male/female dynamic was in 5th grade. I had my little classmate girlfriend, and we would hold hands at recess, and send notes back and forth during class. I bought her candy grams and valentines gifts. It all went to hell for me after that when my class went on a week long field trip in which my parents wouldn’t let me go on. The whole week I missed “Nicole” and she was all I could think about. I had even given her my special rabbit foot necklace that I had made, which is something very important to have where I’m from. When they got back from the field trip all the kids were laughing at me, and Nicole wouldn’t talk to me or show any interest. Another girl came up to me at the lunch line and said that “she don’t like you no more”. And I quickly found out that she was making out and hooking up with other boys during the week field trip. I was devastated and embarrassed beyond reproach. I’ve never been the same again. First red pill.