Want to hear TRP opinions/thoughts on this - how to handle the bill on a 1st date. All advice welcome

TRPsubmitter · 2013-07-28T02:38:25+00:00

I'd confidently and casually pick up the tab.

Don't do a "first date" at all. You're still operating within the context of "Man must buy woman XXXX on first date. Because tradition". Fuck that. Don't fall into that habit. You will end up a) losing money in the long term and b) feeling frustrated if the girl is a bitch or the date doesn't go well. I mean, why would you offer a stranger money like that? She could be super awkward and there could be zero chemistry; you really want to buy someone you have no attraction to a drink simply "to be polite?".

I don't go on traditional "dates" anymore. Besides the money issue, "first date dinner" is a time killer and limits your options as to when you can bounce to a new venue, escalate physically or eject if it's bad. It's also boring compared to what you can do in a bar. At dinner you can't interact by touching, be social with others or dance. Hell, even Tom Hanks covered this in a scene in Sleepless in Seattle and that's not a RP movie.

I tell the girl I'm going to be out already with my crew in some area (whatever area is convenient for you and from which you can readily bounce to your car to get to your place. For example, consider parking, time, distance, your fav club, etc). So simply tell her to meet you at XXX bar and to "join me for a drink and I'll have to test your dart game :-P". She is "joining you" because you're allowing her to be a part of YOUR experience. Absorb that into your mind and she will pick up on that. And throw in that extra little challenge/tease.

For the bill, I think most problems arise from the girl assuming a guy pays (most girls assume this unfortunately) but the guy never says anything until the end. The Catch-22 is that bringing up the bill on the first date is a mood killer and makes the guy look like cheap douche. Solution? You must do it implicitly while also acting confident, as if splitting the bill is what normally should happen anyway. Options:

Dinner or bar: If there's a waiter, you order only for yourself and then immediately & confidently ask "should I pay now or later for that?". Don't ask your date "hey what are you having?" until after you order for yourself because women will use that as an excuse to say that they thought you were offering to pay for their drink since you ordered for her.
Only bar: Go up to the bartender and directly order your own drink, pay first, then turn and ask what she is having.
Dinner or bar: ask the waiter to split the bill when you order initially (don't ask permission from the girl and don't skip a beat in your conversation. This should be normal and she shouldn't be surprised that she should actually pay half).
Dinner or bar: say "hey, you know those chili fries look amazing! How about I buy first round of drinks and the chili fries are on you?".

Exactly_what_I_think · 2013-07-27T23:36:28+00:00

Don't.

First "date" is not a date you will be some where and she can come if she wants. Have coffee or beer in hand when she arrives don't buy hers.

ar10308 · 2013-07-28T00:07:22+00:00

First date should be cheap. Drinks/coffee/ice cream. She has to earn a dinner date.

Bossmandom · 2013-07-28T04:47:01+00:00

My story:

My wife and I have been married for almost a year. We both know our place in the relationship (mine as the head of the household, the leader and aggressor, and hers as the submissive one) and we have no dissolutions that our relationship is absolutely conditional. We maintain ourselves as individuals and as a unit. We love each other. I have to say, she is a strong woman, but she does not purposefully balk at me, and if she does accidentally (shit happens) she will always submit to my firm, yet loving assertion. It was she who actually nudged me into taking the red pill, seeing and understanding my blue pill despair as wrought upon me by women of the past, thus myself by allowance. (note that by the time we met, I was already confident and had plenty of game; it was not until after we were married that I truly allowed her to see beneath my game and front, to understand that long ago I had been hurt) In her words, "I just like to be dominated, but I don't think you will ever do it." Challenge has been accepted and met.

When I tell her to do something, she does it. Fuck, cook, get a job, get some exercise, spend less, give me an old fashioned, whatever the fuck. She knows within her subconscious those things that need to be done to better ourselves, and she knows that it is my own decisive dominance of not only our relationship, but of the world around us that will actualize the desires not made evident to her conscious mind (because she is a woman). It is this trust, hers in my ability to decisively provide, and mine in her unwavering trust in me that makes our relationship strong.

All that being said is to illustrate this point: I blew 100 bucks on our first date, and she didn't spend a penny.

I had made some money from this party I helped throw, and she was the girl at the party that I chose for myself. I used all the right game on her, and she fell for it. We fell asleep on the bed at her place out of exhaustion from watching anime flicks all night after the party. Not a mention of sex was made by either of us (also funny thing, not a single shit test from her either that night) not because I wanted to have sex and felt intimidated, but because I had no interest in sex that night. While I was sexually active, I wanted to really see right then what this woman was made of outside of that venue. We woke up the next day, and I declared that I was going to the beach. I did not ask her if she wanted to come. She asked to come with me, as I expected her to. I said she could tag along, and we went right that moment, as was my plan.

I paid for all sorts of shit on that trip, not because I wanted to please her or have sex with her, but because I wanted to take a girl out and express my manhood by walking around the beach with a girl on my arm. The shit I paid for down there was all shit I wanted to do. Part of my fun was her presence as my accessory. It was worth every fucking penny. Of course she ate it up. I had fun. It was not until we were on the way home that I told her: this was our first date. "Oh is it?" She answered in a challenging tone: her first shit test to me. "Yes, it is, and it hasn't been half bad, either; good job," I replied assertively. The rest of the trip home was all chemistry, and we shared all kinds of intimate details about ourselves with each other.

We have since gone through all kinds of trials by fire together even in our first year of marriage (we dated for a year before that), but we get stronger each day. I lead, but I do not exercise hegemonic control. She supports me, and she does not freeload. We get shit done as a team, and I am the team captain.

All that to lead to this final point: you can make her pay the first bill or pay for all sorts of shit for her like I did. It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is who you are on the inside. I know that sounds like some fluffy-whipped bullshit, but it is true. If you are a man at your core, your actions will reflect the same. If you are a pussy, your front might fool even yourself, but you are still a pussy. I used to be a pussy who was trying to be a man. Now I am a man. Period. I am a man, because I do the things that I know need to be done and the things I know I at my core want to do. I do not compromise. Paying for things on a date should always be done on your own personal terms. Do not "hamster," a term that has a front-page thread dedicated to it right now. If you want to give that dominant, provisional image, do it and own that shit. If you feel more comfortable relying on your high-quality genes to do the talking, by all means do not pay for any of her shit, and most importantly, know where to draw the fucking line (I will leave you to figure out where that line is).

TL;DR read the whole fucking post. I didn't write all that shit for no reason.

[deleted] · 2013-07-28T09:09:12+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rebuildingMyself · 2013-07-28T06:17:54+00:00

Maybe too late for you since it's already planned, but first dates shouldn't be anything expensive. Coffee, bar for some drinks, etc.

I don't mind paying for those dates because even if she cunts out afterwards, you're only out $20 or $30 instead of $100-$200.

[deleted] · 2013-07-28T09:06:02+00:00

What's appropriate for the first date? A fun free activity outside (walk in the park), coffee, happy hour (maybe offer to pick up the first round if you sense that she's just in it for the free drinks). Just keep it simple. Do NOT take her to a restaurant.

JohnPeel · 2013-07-28T15:46:05+00:00

Usually I say beforehand we're going to pay separately. It's never been an issue for me, in fact I find the women I meet are more likely to take it as an insult if I pay for them.

[deleted] · 2013-07-28T17:29:38+00:00

I usually make sure I've got enough cash to cover half and just dump that in the centre of the table. Counting it out to 50% of the bill is usually a good visual aid for her to get her money out and pay her share.

Title	Want to hear TRP opinions/thoughts on this - how to handle the bill on a 1st date. All advice welcome
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	18
Date	July 27, 2013 11:30 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1j6req/want_to_hear_trp_opinionsthoughts_on_this_how_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/want-to-hear-trp-opinionsthoughts-on-this-how-to.5912 https://theredarchive.com/post/5912

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