I have a female family member, who I've had recurring conflict with. I've tried exhaustively to work our differences by "open and honest" communication, you know, like adults are supposed to do.

No matter how calm and logical I am, or how much I try to meet her halfway and understand her point of view, it always deteriorates into her going passive-aggressive, making it all about her "feelings", gaslighting me about how she's behaved in the past, and ultimately trying to turn it all back on me as if the only problem is some flaw in my character e.g. I'm "being too sensitive" or "being a grump" or "accusing her of things she'd never do!" etc.

Goddamn it's so frustrating I just had to post this here and ask how you guys handle such bullshit situations. I'm beginning to think really the best attitude I can have is to just completely give up trying to relate to her as rational adult, and instead literally just treat her words as so much nonsensical babbling from a child.