Joint Bank Accounts, Secret Bad Credit History, and Other Financial Horror Stories?

User-31f64a4e · 2015-11-09T17:11:01+00:00

I was lucky. I read somewhere that child rearing techniques and finances are the top two reasons for conflict in couples, so we had 3 bank accounts: hers, mine, and a much smaller joint account for paying the bills.

No way to know for sure, but I believe this came in very handy when we got divorced - no alimony, everyone basically kept their own stuff and we divvyed up the joint property down the middle.

I would not recommend marriage or cohabitation. But if you go that route, then don't put all your money in a joint account. What do you have to gain - mollifying her? What do you have to loose - everything?

You shouldn't have to justify minor purchases, and neither should she. Hence, 3 accounts.

TwoTonJoe · 2015-11-09T17:46:05+00:00

My starter wife had gotten 3 credit cards in my name, without my knowledge, and maxed them all out. After the divorce, I was on the hook to pay them off, since they were technically "mine".

Mickey_One · 2015-11-09T18:19:14+00:00

A joint account is fine. Just transfer enough for your half of the bills and never grant access to your own account.

Your credit card is for emergency only. Want to build credit? Take out a loan. Do not finance your life on credit... you're getting fleeced.

Mortgage? If you must go ahead... Car? Again if you must...

Pretty much anything else you finance should be earning you money (like a business or rental property), or you are doing it wrong.

As an older guy I can tell you that women, by an order of magnitude, have cost me more money than any other category of cost.

If you incorrectly assume that your woman is a rational actor and will behave as a responsible adult you're going to have a bad time.

Greetings1 · 2015-11-09T18:57:54+00:00

Was in a bad relationship. Knew cheating was going on before but no proof. Things got really bad after my credit card got maxed trying to support us/her. Bailed on me the night a family member committed suicide to drop acid with another guy. Slept with my best friend a week later. Broke it off then.

Actually very pissed off right now at how fucking stupid I was. I was going to college and trying to work a part time job just to keep the relationship afloat. I had no business working shit jobs with how close I was to being done. I never needed the money before, lived modestly off my student loans and got good grades. Meet her and moved in and BAM bleeding money and grades took a nose dive. Always with excuses why I should go buy dinner and do shit instead of study.

Never graduated, sitting here next to a guy that did. Same job, he paid twice as much and both our jobs is a fraction of what others in my class are making.

I blame myself more than anyone. Very close to having all my debt paid off now. It's been years, I feel like an old man compared to that dumbshit that fell for being taken for a ride. I need to get my ass back to school.

thrownaway_MGTOW · 2015-11-10T16:59:14+00:00

a woman you are living with and in a relationship with is pushing for a joint bank account? I didn't see a reason for it at the time, so I didn't do it. It turned out to be a wise decision.

Indeed. Unless you ARE married, in which case you're already in neck deep -- joint accounts of any kind (not just *bank^1** accounts) are dangerous* -- and the danger ISN'T limited to just the amount of money that is in the account.

The creation of a joint account (or adding some second person to a lease, or a loan, or even the utility² bill, etc) sort of sets a "precedent" -- especially these days when women often retain their "maiden surname" in marriage -- and that single instance of a joint account all too often serves as the basis for additional accounts (of which both parties may NOT be aware).

Keep in mind that "identity theft" is an actual thing, and is really not all that difficult for people (even complete strangers) to pull off.

I know of instances (usually with a relatively foolish guy) where the "girlfriend" used the existence of both names on utility bills to obtain a series of credit cards the guy wasn't even aware of. How you say? Well the combination of the names on that account apparently got picked up by the banking industry databases so they started sending out credit card applications bearing both names and she just filled them in and got the cards; now yeah she technically "forged" his signature (if you could call a "scribble" a signature) on the applications -- but it's virtually impossible to him to prove that.

And keep in mind with a "girlfriend" there is no "divorce court" that settles some legally established "date" of the breakup.

Plus, as I've noted before, even allowing a women to temporarily "live" at or formally establish a "record of official residence" at your home can be problematic. All she really needs to do is have the "official" record of her address on her Driver's License (or other ID) changed to yours, and in some states that creates a default/presumed "right of residence" -- meaning that even though her name isn't on the property title or even a rental/lease agreement, she can claim a "right" to live there that the police and courts will accept and honor (at least initially); and in some instances even creates a formal "eviction" process that the dude has to follow to get rid of her -- but ironically, via the VAWA laws, she can kick HIM out of HIS residence (and even have the police forcefully remove him) just by making a claim of "domestic violence" (which doesn't even have to be PHYSICAL violence, it can be "emotional" or "psychological") and filing for a "restraining order/order for protection".

Yeah eventually the guy CAN get it all legally straightened out -- but that is likely to take (at a minimum) several weeks, and possibly several MONTHS.

Plain truth of the matter is that cohabiting or even giving a woman TEMPORARY POSSESSION of a "key" to your place (even for a few hours, because if she wants, she an get "copies" in probably 10 minutes and for $1.50 at any hardware store) And yes "crazy psycho bitches" DO³ in fact do those kinds of things, and then "justify" it in their minds. In the case of a "girlfriend" who even just occasionally "stays overnight" her little "hamster" brain can easily justify/rationalize that she's doing it just in case some future "emergency" arises (i.e. she might "accidentally" leave something at your apartment, and won't want to "bother you" -- see how considerate she is?).

Oh, the same thing can (or at least used to, before "chipped" car keys) applies to your vehicle keys -- I knew of more than one instance years ago where guys let a girlfriend borrow their car, a the chick went and had copies of the keys made (without his knowledge much less his consent) you know... just in case she might someday "need" them.

And no NAWALT... but there is always the possibility that ANY given chick WILL BE "crazy like that".

IMPORTANT FOOTNOTES:

1) Oh and don't believe the BS about a bank account requiring "two signatures" -- aside from the fact that you would almost certainly be using the account to pay regular expenses ELECTRONICALLY or via debit card (in which case AT MOST only a single "PIN" number is required, sans signature) -- the reality is that since "Check 21" banks actually don't even bother verify signatures on checks anymore (and of course even if they did, most people's "signatures" these days are some indistinguishable almost random, arbitrary, & entirely undecipherable "scribble" that is virtually unrepeatable, IOW it's never the same twice, and is easily forged.) In point of fact the ONLY time the "two signature" thing will ever be enforced is opening or closing the account -- or doing other transactions right AT the bank (if even then, banks have gotten "sloppy" and bank tellers are poorly trained).

2) On the fact that the names on the "utility bill" are seen as some legally probative thing, see this: http://research.lawyers.com/ask-a-lawyer/can-my-now-ex-boyfriend-kick-me-out-of-the-apartment-if-im-not-on-the-lease-665323.html and note the section that follows:

Will he change the locks? If he does this, you should try calling the police or sheriff and explain that you've been locked out of your home. Be prepared to show them a piece of mail or something with your name on it at that address to prove that you live there. If you have any of the utilities in your name, that would be perfect, but I'm assuming you don't. Perhaps a credit card bill or other "official" looking bill or letter would suffice.

Get that? ANY piece of mail or "official" looking "bill" is -- at least superficially and initially -- presumed to be solid evidence of residency. (These days, with the existence of $50 laser-printers & when most "official looking bills" are just bashed off in black and white on them; and when address-records on virtually ANY account can be changed ONLINE, even temporarily and by the person themselves, with ZERO interaction with even a second person {and just a "verification" via email}, or of course even just "editing" some unprotected PDF; and then some "bill" or statement printed out... well the very idea that such a piece of paper serves as "evidence" of anything at all, is truly ABSURD... it happens because courts/judges are "digitally ignorant" and this quasi-official "rule of thumb" was established decades ago when things like laser printers were rare and expensive.)

3) I knew a woman (the cray-cray kind) on the board of our HOA who got a hold of -- just for an afternoon -- the "master key set" for all of the associations facilities; and *even though she KNEW the keys were to be "controlled" nevertheless... yup she had copies made of ALL of the keys, and did it without telling anyone. We only figured it out a couple of weeks later. It cost the HOA about $400 total to get all of the locks changed (not just new padlocks, but a locksmith to rekey doors, display cabinets, etc.) -- it was obvious that if she made ONE set of keys (and did it on the sly, and LIED about it -- because she initially denied having done so, but when confronted with surveillance video eventually admitted, and then claimed she had a "right" to have a set of keys just by being on the board), well that she very will might have had a second set made (or would make a second set before turning over the copies).

EDIT: Oh, and to the objection of "well if some crazy bitch can do any/all of that WITHOUT my knowledge, what's the difference?"

The answer is that if/when anything "crazy" happens, you want to be HONESTLY "shocked" that it happened... the very LAST thing you want to do is accidentally/inadvertently "admit" that yes, you were aware/consented to her name on a joint account, or gave her the keys, etc -- and lets face it, (unlike women) most guys are NOT good enough at "acting" to pull off faux-indignation; whereas most chicks have developed the ability to convincingly LIE through their teeth (plus of course add the crocodile tears, etc -- and then there is the "pussy pass" advantage that they get by default).

GenesisRunner · 2015-11-09T16:26:26+00:00

I'm not married, nor in a relationship (feels great!), but I do have a friend who is married with children and he did have to pay off all the massive credit card debts of his wife, all incurred prior to marriage. How does he justify it? By being a so-called "mangina", of course! Even after all these years, he can't stop talking about how privileged he has been that his wife decided to "even look at him" in the first place. He continues to be a proponent of feminism and how it is truly for equality and have to only be strengthened.

Dreesy · 2015-11-09T19:41:01+00:00

A old friend of mine went to school for a good 5 years to become server farm technician. He paid off his 40k debt in his first two years of working, and is now focused on paying off his wife's 60k English Degree loan, while she takes a "year off from working" (she only worked for two years prior).

Shit is insane.

thrownaway_MGTOW · 2015-11-09T17:26:00+00:00

I dont see the benefit of giving someone full access to your money without knowing their credit score. Unless they have a similar income like you and are willing to let you spend their money the whole idea is outright fucking stupid.

But why dont just spend your money and let her spend hers? The only reason some men will give money to unemployed couch potatoes is because they love them. What a stupid thing to do.

Mickey_One · 2015-11-09T19:17:48+00:00

Never have a joint account, and find out if the lady has debts/bad credit history -- use a P.I. if necessary.

manzone22 · 2015-11-10T02:44:50+00:00

Did read about one where a guy had a joint account and was putting most of his money in it each week but then gf did a runner and cleaned out the joint account (which most of the money was his) so when he went to the police there was nothing they could do as technically she had not committed a crime

Not sure what joint accounts are like where you live but always make sure to check if it has a overdraft limit in case she tries to do a runner

Falazure1 · 2015-11-10T16:58:22+00:00

Some of the best financial advice I have ever heard is to never ever have a joint account as a primary account...its fine for bills or other emergencies such that you can support each other, but you should each have your privacy for personal purchases.

Title	Joint Bank Accounts, Secret Bad Credit History, and Other Financial Horror Stories?
Author	OldRoad
Upvotes	12
Comments	34
Date	November 9, 2015 4:19 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/3s5cbk/joint_bank_accounts_secret_bad_credit_history_and/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/joint-bank-accounts-secret-bad-credit-history-and.640375 https://theredarchive.com/post/640375

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