Rock bottom

CpuDoc67 · 2020-01-21T16:53:31+00:00

I was in a similar situation when I was about 15 years ago. Child support was devouring me, pay garnished barely making it check to check. I was pretty much working to make money to go to work.

Like yourself joining the military was an option I had on the table.

I came up with a plan and I was able to completely turn my life around. If my plan didn't work I was going to join the military.

I found an alternate source of income in addition to my 9 to 5 job. I worked like a maniac to offset the child support and to be able to save move and have a life. My life became working pretty much.

I do I.T. so I started doing I.T. consulting on my own after hours. Didn't have a girlfriend nor did I want one. I caught up on my child support, slowly healed my credit and busted my ass working.

I got custody of my son, and his mother refused to financially provide anything for my son. The white knights in her family told me I was being spiteful and didn't need $$$ from her.

Well I marched my ass to the child support office. They literally put their foot up her ass (I was shocked). She attempted to further turn my son against me, because I was taking her money. My son respected me but he didn't like me because of the mental poison from his mother's side of the family. In his late teens he started to see the truth for himself. It's a long ass story....

Bottom line: Present day: I have my own house to myself, good credit, 2 cars, a motorcycle, money in the bank and I travel often.

This is a battle, come up with a plan, a few plans and work them and adjust as needed.

Focus on developing yourself and your future. It's not going to happen overnight, but believe me you can do it.

A buddy of mine jokes and calls me Lazarus. He says I pretty much Rose from the dead.

whaddefuck · 2020-01-21T16:21:54+00:00

Might feel like rock bottom but, trust me, that is not rock bottom. Get your shit together, not being owned by booze is a good first step. Doesn't seem you'r considering the army for the right reasons, think about it. There are many people willing to hear you or to accept you or to share a coffee with you, not questions asked. Search them, believe me, they exist, they might not be where you think they should be. Good luck with the call and make your own way.

Knutjob · 2020-01-21T17:04:53+00:00

I can identify with everything u are going through. First, OWN YOURSELF....don't let booze rule yr life. It's your life,your mind....don't let anything own that. As for needing others to like you, to hell with them, they don't give a rats ass about you, so why the hell are u worried about what they think about you, or wether they like u or not....fuck them....Believe me, once they see you don't care and now hold your head up high, and can look at them with contempt,and when they notice that you honestly don't give a fuck, they notice that, and they will see a deeper quality of self sufficiency and confidence. That's ( surprisingly) is attractive in a man.....and to a woman.

As for yr custody issues, well,that's real tough....it's literally messing with yr heartstrings. Be realistic, u probably will never be given custody, it's a gynocentric legal system put there. Just go for visitation rights. But.....BUT....keep a sharp eye out for ur wife to make the slightest fuckup.....drunk driving, violence, partying, drugs etc. Get proof, then attack her from a position of strength. Above all ,show her that you are now enjoying yr bachelor hood....and that u are over the pain of missing yr kids....that will piss her off. She will want to throw a spanner in your free lifestyle.....she will all of a sudden be willing to leave them with you for more time....learn how women think....she gets to u through yr kids....and we all fall sucker for that...

As for the military.....cannon fodder??? I say that because we all watch the news of late and I think the shits gonna get hot soon and no bloody way am I going to get MY LIFE put at risk by some stupid bureaucrat/ politician sitting safely behind a desk whilst I have to put my life on the line, in shit conditions, with sub standard leadership and worse equipment. To hell with that....the Military Industrial giants can find another sucker to serve them....Not me.....my life is too precious.

Above all, down size drastically, cut out all the shit that u don't need, ditch the expensive rentals, expensive clothes, fancy cars etc. Live like a pauper. Remember who will love u no matter what.....yr blood....yr mom, yr Gran...... do yr best for them. As for yr kids, 8f they big enough, get a phone...talk to them whenever u can. Let them know u love them.

Things will come right ....eventually...I've been where u are ....Believe me....it's gets better....am rooting for you..be strong!!!!

jeetz09 · 2020-01-21T16:23:32+00:00

Fuck the “beer money”. You already said that alcohol is a huge problem. Start there and prioritize things that yo have control of. Get rid of anything that hinders you.

RealBiggly · 2020-01-21T16:31:07+00:00

Well first, get the book Psycho Cybernetics and improve your self esteem problem

gtowerthrowaway · 2020-01-21T16:24:48+00:00

Hey, brother.

Sympathy. It gets better from here. You're young and have your whole life ahead of you.

I climbed out of the pit at 35, in certain ways better than you, but in certain ways probably worse. What did it for me was simply taking a long, hard look at myself in the mirror (literally) and recognizing that I no longer wanted to go through life as a fat, fucking loser.

Good luck on your journey.

Equivalent-Craft · 2020-01-21T17:52:31+00:00

My saviour from the drink n drugs was brazillian jujitsu. Got right into it went 3 times a week for a year n started gwtn private sessions....one of the best arts in my opinion.self respect good fitness n can really look after yourself if need be. I walk with my head held high now through life. Quietly confident.

crityouallday · 2020-01-21T19:01:01+00:00

Perspective is key. You are more important than anyone else. Whatever the goal was or is never put others above/in front of you don't listen to society. A caged bird thinks flying is an illness.

Can the school thing be fixed to get back on track. School isn't for everyone and it doesn't always work.

Learn to take out the trash. Don't cling to a mistake because you wasted a lot of time making it. Remove any items, substances and people that cause your misery.

No matter how bad each situation may look to be don't drop down to their level. stay calm, strong and learn to walk away.

Consistently is harder when no one is clapping for you. You must clap for yourself, you should always be your biggest fan.

Frankzhac · 2020-01-21T20:03:06+00:00

My guy, it may feel like you're at rock bottom but you're not. As you've read, many of us have walked your path and if you came out of it on top so can you. I dealt with alcoholism and pot for 2yrs (still smoke weekly - just not nearly as much as I used to) however I managed to completely drop alcohol by working out regularly and recognizing my triggers.

I'd recommend you keep a mental inventory of things that trigger you and stay away from them that includes friends you drink with.

If I was able to turn my life around and get a job as a software developer and I'ma yr older than you, I highly believe you can too.

Good luck buddy!

TheBrokenSigil · 2020-01-21T21:37:32+00:00

every one of your problems stems from "instant gratification". learn to delay your impulses and you will train yourself over time to have self-control. with self-control, you will be able to wait to unload your personal bullshit on people a little at a time instead of vomiting your life story on them all at once. you will be able to choose to do other things than drink. you will be able to choose to drink responsibly the night before work. self-control means things take longer to accomplish ( like opening up to people ) but it is less of a system shock and results in better reception by the other party.

turn your instant gratification into delayed gratification. it is THE ONLY way to become a better person and wealthy.

2020-01-21T22:08:36+00:00

When you see God, that's bottom. I've been where you're at and it's usually the simplest solution. The answer is usually close by. Army or grind? The answer usually lies in the "why".

CoinSwapTrader · 2020-01-21T23:10:30+00:00

Freedom is not caring what others think and not wasting all your energy pretending like a clown only to be liked by others...

delsystem32exe · 2020-01-22T03:34:51+00:00

3d printing is cool. See if you can expand that to CNC. With a CNC you can mass produce stuff and sell, as 3d printing is kinda limited tech for any production stuff...

zennacko · 2020-01-22T10:55:32+00:00

Survive the divorce. After that, after reaching rock bottom, the only way is up, and without one of the main burdens in your life eating your soul, it should be easier. Now for the alcohol issues, get some help. The bottle can be a terrible mistress if she hooks you good.

Title	Rock bottom
Author	brohan556
Upvotes	23
Comments	18
Date	January 21, 2020 3:29 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/erw4z4/rock_bottom/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/rock-bottom.642115 https://theredarchive.com/post/642115

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