How long does the 'RAGE phase' last?

Mryoyo99 · 2019-12-21T07:38:51+00:00

Hard to say. I find my rage ebbs and flows. The more I learn, the deeper I delve down the rabbit hole, the more the rage crops up. I've accepted it as a process. Like the blacksmith who continually heats his steel so he can move metal to his will and forge a blade; so do I let me rage build so I can can forge it into something useful. I forge it into focus. Focus on my tasks, be it work or hobbies.

I think whatever your process, it's about harnesses your will. After all, we are men goddammit, we mold the world around us to suit our desires through shear power of will.

redThrow10 · 2019-12-21T08:48:48+00:00

Pregnant women are psycho. She's paralyzed from the weight of the baby. She is dependent on you for everything. She's scared shitless all the time. She will be until the safety of the child is reasonably secure. She will be constantly trying to know if her support system is there.

And you of course are going insane because she is going insane.

One technique from Zen and Stoicism that works is, when you feel a rush of anger, or sadness, or hatred, don't say anything right away, instead, take a moment, and simply think to yourself "At this moment, I am feeling X because Y..." It sounds like a goofy thing to say to yourself, because it won't really fix the problem, but the point of saying it to yourself isn't to fix the problem...

Don't say that to anyone out loud, simply state the fact of what you are feeling, and why you are feeling that, to yourself in your own head.

This action mentally detaches your concept of yourself, from the emotion you are feeling, and allows you to control your reaction. Saying it makes the emotion something separate from your consciousness.

No wall punching. No blurting out angry remarks that turn into a half-day argument. Perform the statement as the hate flares up, to detach yourself from the emotion.

Then set aside the emotional reflex reaction, and think about how to fix the situation.

Now some situations, simply are outside of your control. If this is the case, fixing the problem is coming to accept that nothing can be done. Once you realize that you have no options, other than just doing what has to be done to survive, it becomes much easier to "throw away" that emotional reaction you contained using your mental detachment statement.

You can actually practice this in preparation for the next time your breed mare gets fussy.

Think about the last argument or whatever that got your temper hot. Try the statement "I felt X at that time because Y...". Then consider how you could have resolved the situation. If there were no options, then say to yourself "It was natural that I would feel X at that time, and once I had felt X, I should have just got on with my life, instead of wasting time/effort trying to not feel X."

You need to abandon the concepts of "right" or "wrong" and "fair" or "unfair." Right and wrong are invented differently in different people's minds. Fair and unfair are also a matter of who's judging.

Shift to the viewpoint that fairness does not exist. Justice does not exist. What does exist is your ability to manage your own reactions to the random injustices that life will always throw at you.

And, with some practice, when these injustices crop up, your ability to detach and continue to function will give you a truer sense of victory than anything else.

This is what I do, even without wife/children. That feeling you have, of being manipulated by someone, of being screwed over... is not simply the wife. It comes from bosses, coworkers, people you do business with, companies that you try to buy services from, it is everywhere.

So controlling that feeling, or any emotional reaction, is something worth practicing.

And if you want to go next level, you can even turn these injustices into a positive thing for yourself... "I am feeling X because Y. This is a challenge to my emotional control. Therefore it will be a great victory if I maintain equilibrium and handle the situation effectively."

Check out /r/zen or /r/koans for Zen parables to expand situational awareness. Read Epictetus to learn about Stoic philosophy and mental equilibrium excercises.

pinewoodpine · 2019-12-21T07:37:47+00:00

I’m sorry brother, but the phase lasts as long as it need to. Some will take year, some will take months, but as long as you’re married you will likely be stuck for a long time.

If you need to let off steam, try to make it productive. Exercise, be aggressive with your work (no, i’m not saying to punch annoying people at work), and if you are willing to be a father, read up on how to be one.

Meanwhile, keep a diary and install cameras for ‘security purposes.’ It will help if divorce is on the way.

tinyb1ts · 2019-12-21T08:28:16+00:00

Let go of your attachments and expectations if you want to have peace of mind. I would however start to work my way out of that pit if you're truly that miserable. I know you didn't want to turn this thread into a discussion about it, but people have broken up with a child on the way before.

Trust_No_Bitches · 2019-12-21T07:41:55+00:00

The rage period lasts as long as want it too, until you decide to stop seeing yourself as the victim, and expecting women to change to meet the fantasy you were sold. You just take everything for what it and accept that women were never the prize, your happiness was.

A lot of the rage comes from looking forward to this fantasy and then realizing you are/were in a bad relationship. After a while you just get to the point where you see how relationships between men and women really are you no longer feel upset about things.

It takes a few years to go form rage to acceptance, and not all the MGTOWs get there, but the ones who have better shit to do than stay mad at feminism or narcissistic women and exes usually get there faster. It helps to interact with more level headed MGTOWs who are over the bullshit and just focused on their health and happiness.

Diogeneplz1 · 2019-12-21T07:42:14+00:00

I’ve really struggled with it. You got to actively let it go and train yourself to not give a shit. It sucks man, but plenty of people have made it through and are happier than ever. One thing that helps me is seeing every married man, even those of the past generations, being miserable or, at best, happy despite their marriage.

79johnsmith · 2019-12-21T08:52:59+00:00

The anger is part of a shedding of belief process and will last as long as one has strong beliefs to lose as well as the intensity with which one had internalised those beliefs.

Depending on the person, a person many have many layers of beliefs which may have to be peeled back and dropped. Some may never accept the entirety of red-pill truths and may just accept and internalise only the first few big red-pill truths (eg. about a male's place in society and a female's role in mate selection [Briffault's Law]).

Someone who was raised to believe in the sanctity of marriage vows can become very angry at uncovering the deception (usually right after cutting the wedding cake) and the anger can run very deep for a very long time.

And that's just swallowing the first few red-pills from Briffault's Law (and the 3 corollaries) - there are lots more lies which society misleads intentionally to men (and also to women) daily. Individual red-pill truths about Hypergamy, about Dualistic Mating, about a women's love being conditional and opportunistic, about their lack of morality, about Hypoagency, lack of responsibility, being driven by their emotional reality rather than by logic, etc, etc.

Sometimes a person can also picked up old blue-pill lies again either due to forgetfulness/lack of proper internalisation of the truth or a moment of weakness came along with intense propaganda by society which inadvertently re-installed that belief.

2019-12-21T08:56:38+00:00

on day you wake up and "meh" and go on without thinking about all the dumb shit

EDIT: its not cheaper to keep her, 80% income is better than 10% she gives you for allowance

TheHartofMgtow · 2019-12-21T09:08:34+00:00

I found peace in the Lord Jesus Christ. A peaceful heart and immortality isnt a bad tradeoff. And before anyone says Christianity is pandering to traditionalism/women it isn't, it States several times your better off in life without them

selfism_mike · 2019-12-21T09:11:41+00:00

As long as you still have expectations towards women. Once you do not "need" them anymore, they become irrelevant to you. We don't have rage towards something irrelevant to us.

2019-12-21T09:40:03+00:00

If you're married, you'll have to deal with that shit daily, and every time you'll see something, it will make your blood boil. So you're gonna be there for a long time.
On the other hand, usually for a man going through transitioning, from blue to red, it takes around a year if he was involved with females, cause you start digging in the past, and see all the manipulative shit they pulled on you, cause we're thinking creatures, and wanna make sense of things.
For your marriage, I would say call your wife on her shit, at least she'll start respecting you... Other than that, you're fucked.

tablett379 · 2019-12-21T10:33:42+00:00

I thought I was out of it, but now I'm in the silent rage portion. I'm supposed to fuck sluts and get over it.

Krazyrobus · 2019-12-21T13:20:20+00:00

You stop getting rage when you realise it doesn't solve anything. Stop getting mad at things that are done. You got married, ok, you have a kid on the way, ok. That's done.

How do you plan to solve or in the very least manage those problems. You stop getting mad when you start thinking solutions.

VagabondLonewolf · 2019-12-21T13:50:19+00:00

It varies from person to person.

jkarovskaya · 2019-12-21T14:09:40+00:00

Monk mode is the best cure for RP rage.

No risk of pregnancy, false rape, abuse charges, STD's, zero drama, keep your $ for your own future, and far more peaceful life without constant obligations to everyone else.

Been monk since 1982, works %100

ChadowyFigure · 2019-12-21T15:10:18+00:00

I'm married, been pilled about a year. It is easy to get mad, but try to keep in mind that many men (including your father) may not have known to warn you. They may have thought they were just unlucky, or been worried that you were not in a place to accept the truth.

As for being mad at women... I've gone from being furious about my wife's behavior/motivations to accepting that it is just the way they are. My wife is great compared to most, but AWALT. I barely even want sex anymore now that I realize the best way to turn them on is to constantly threaten the relationship (not overtly, of course); it amazes me that I used to crave her validation so much when it is mostly based on fear of loss and muscles. Every time I try an experiment to see if maybe I am being too harsh on her and overestimating the importance of TRP, it ends up showing me that if anything I was probably underestimating it.

You're mad because you are giving her too much credit. You think she chooses to behave like this, but she cannot control herself, she's like a dog that jumps up on the table and eats your dinner. We used to train them better so they wouldn't let their instincts rule them, but now they are encouraged to do just that. You can still improve their behavior a lot through training, but you will never be able to unsee their motivations and perverse selfish logic. I really like the example of a dog because that is the kind of love I feel for my wife these days, affection for a helpful companion that I must punish and train in order for it to stay well-behaved and fun. Maybe you can get there with yours too, but either way I think the rage will mostly pass when you stop assuming they have the same kind of agency you do. Their emotions and instincts are far stronger than yours, and they've never had a reason to learn to fight them.

Mgtaoteching · 2019-12-21T18:27:31+00:00

You can let it go right now.

Title	How long does the 'RAGE phase' last?
Author	LeonofLeons
Upvotes	18
Comments	19
Date	December 21, 2019 7:19 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MGTOW
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MGTOW/comments/edmy8f/how_long_does_the_rage_phase_last/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MGTOW/how-long-does-the-rage-phase-last.644632 https://theredarchive.com/post/644632

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