Soon to be 25, just got out of a longer term relationship with a man 6 years older than me and I just found this sub. I think I ruined my last relationship due to being on the ‘feminist’ side

teaandtalk · 2020-04-17T22:01:07+00:00

It's okay to be a feminist. It's not okay to be the sort of feminist who tries to be like a man, even when it hurts you and your relationships.

I would suggest the following:

- Identify three or so goals that you'd like to achieve to be the sort of woman you want to be. Make sure they are SMART - Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely. Eg 'get dressed in a proper outfit and do my hair five days a week' or 'learn to cook three new meals by April 30' or 'Read Surrendered Single by end of May'.

- Read through the RPW Wiki - this could be one of your goals.

- Spend time meditating/journalling/getting in touch with your feelings. Explore your feelings about femininity and feminism and traditionalism and religion, and identify the bits that you like. Identify your internal assumptions (eg 'If he really loves me he will love me no matter how I look, so I can wear sweatpants all the time') and then see if they're valid.

Good luck with everything!

curious-girl-5 · 2020-04-18T03:19:58+00:00

How can I be more wife material?

First off, stop swallowing modern-day feminism, which is all about putting the entire male species to shame. That is a great way to scare away all men; especially, HVM.

Secondly, if you haven't already figured it out yet, looks matter. Get a healthy diet going for you, start working out regularly (lifting heavy & cardio), develop a healthy skin routine, drink lots of water, and start cutting out things that don't serve you (i.e. toxic people, excessive drinking, smoking, drugs, etc.).

Thirdly, you need to understand the difference between the 'dating phase' and the 'relationship phase'. Just because you are dating a guy for 5 months does not mean you are in a relationship. Take the time (i.e. 6 to 8 months) to vet out a man for a relationship who you deem as relationship material (HVM).

This includes understanding the following:

We (women) are the gatekeepers of sex.
Men are the gatekeepers of commitment.

Don't be one of those desperate women trying to "lockdown" a man into a relationship. Let him decide when he wants you a part of his life (moving from the dating phase to the relationship phase). Too many women do not understand this, which leaves them to have a horrible time in the sexual market place.

Lastly, read all of the info on the sidebar, as well as my favourite book, 'The Woman’s Guide to How Men Think: Love, Commitment, and the Male Mind' written by Dr. Shawn T. Smith. You need to understand the sexual market place and how to vet out HVM from LVM. This will take time, patience, and practice during the dating phase. Good luck!

everydayloserguy · 2020-04-19T19:57:36+00:00

The anything but conservative is a huge red flag for a guy.

Look good for dates, cook, clean, put effort in the bedroom, stay somewhat fit(don't go beyond chubby), be loyal, honest and make an effort to be supportive. There's all that you need to be a trophy wife these days, standards are low so easy to look better comparatively. I'm a dude and you're welcome lol

xoxobenji · 2020-04-18T00:00:49+00:00

You can be a feminist and still be feminine. All feminism is, is wanting women to have to same rights and treatment as men. You don’t have to act like a man or do things like a man. One way I cultivate my feminism especially during quarantine is making sure I look nice. I don’t have to wear make up or anything but I make sure I have nice lounge wear, have my hair and nails done. (At home of course) I’ve been watch a lot of food network and learning how to make fancy meals at home. I’ve also been trying to meditate more to have calmer demeanor. All these things in my opinion are feminine things.

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