I had an experience with a woman recently that shook me from my conviction against marriage. She made arguments that were sound. Arguments that I found myself sympathizing with. No woman has ever made it seem worth something to me, but she did.

What I realized is that I was allowing phobia to rule my thinking, and that maybe I was robbing my woman, and by extension my family and myself, of a certain sense of belonging and security that pays dividends. The difference is subtle but maybe not negligible.

What I mean is a woman has to be incented to give her best to her children and her home. It's in everyone's best interest that she does this. If I'm not giving her the best incentives, how can she give the best to my children? How can I imbue my family with the best values if we're not solid?

Of course I realize the probability is this will collapse at some point. I also realize life-long monogamy is untenable. In the event of divorce I'd like to mitigate the loss and keep the state's arms short. But my focus is on those few crucial years when children are developing and absorbing their environment.

I want give them the best environment possible, and that starts with a secure and purposeful woman. Also a quality woman with standards and forethought, and most of those (who haven't already been married) want to be an esteemed wife.

So this is the corner I turned recently after swearing off marriage for years. I'm seeking feedback here from single and married men alike. Talk me back or talk me forward.