I work for a big technical consulting firm and competition is fierce. There's alot of back stabbing, setting people up, putting people down, discrimination, hidden agendas, you name it.

As people climb the promotion chain you see them change. It's difficult to have a genuine conversation with them as they are locked in to finding a way to show they are above you, even if they construct it.

The environment is male dominant hardly any females, possible 1 female per 1000 consultants.

I've seen people get pay rises and even promotions from getting marriage or having kids. The community is very oneitis based, they don't physically look after themselves, they cling onto their partners like it's the only one they will ever get, talk softly to them, no backbone, get cheated on and get marriage the next year, make me feel sick (feel sorry for them) by how little self-respect they have.

I've been criticized and pulled down by doing self-improvement, going to the gym and taking up boxing transformed my body to someone who looked effective. I sensed they felt intimidated by this, I'm polite, stand my ground but I don't higher or even lower my voice.

I've even had the political argument with them on "if everyone knew a martial art, they would be more fighting", all brawl no brain I guess.

I haven't talked to anyone about this, I don't feel safe talking to people about this. Blue pills don't get it and if I find a red pill at work how can I trust them. I need advice and not "just leave" I want to learn how to navigate this shit and play it to my advantage, hopefully so I can make the environment better.

I've been taking notes on what behaviors and actions I've seen and what has been done to me to try and navigate a way through the toxicity, here's some "plays" I've witnessed:

  • Setting fake deadlines - deadline set for 3 months handed in within 1 month and got put down for not handing it in after a week from the starting date (yes this is true), there pay off is they went to management and said I was not reliable for deadline work...
  • Working for a client and the senior member of staff did fuck all, I did all the work and on the last day they used an outdated method that produced false positives and argued with me that they were the senior so they get to say what is correct - even on this job they kept mentioning "gotta play the game" - their pay off was they got to me part of my review and I was took off that type of work.
  • I was asked to do a sales presentation at a drop of a hat after working hours, I was on my way to boxing and refused kindly - boss calls me up, "you've had a complaint from a customer...", funny thing was it was the first I even knew about that engagement when asked to pitch, i knew nothing, the client didn't know my name, it was bullshit. - pay off, person reporting to my boss makes me out to be not wanting to do client calls. I was kept away and monitored for my client calls after...
  • Giving help and advice yet makes small problems (i made) into big problems and sends them to board of directors - made a "friend" at work went out drinking more then a few times, messaged out of work, fine, no red flags, just knew he took work seriously... - wrote a report for a client they went through it when I asked for help to see if I could improve it, wasn't a final submission, he highlighted all the things wrong with it and disclosed it as "unfit for work" to the directors - pay off got to show he was a level above me by fabrication.
  • I could go on but this post is massive...

Thanks for getting this far, I've been with this company for 3 years, took me 5 years to qualify to get this job, always wanted it. Scared to leave and join another company due to the economic climate. Would love some advice other then "just leave" as I feel as though there must be some skills to be learned\taught navigating these "machiavellian workplaces".

Any advice, books, videos, courses would be appreciated, hell even some one-on-one instant messaging or coaching.

I guess I'm asking for the rational male equivalent for toxic workplaces...