How do I find happiness in myself and stop putting that burden on my Captain?

girlwithabike · 2018-07-22T15:32:47+00:00

Have you jumped into the self care thread that is currently up? That might be a good place to start. It asks you to come up with things that you do only because they bring you joy and then make time and do them. Make this a regular part of your routine. It lightens your mental load.

Making friends as adults is really difficult. You've asked before about ideas of things to do while your bf is away. Have you gotten involved in any of them? Some people will come and go out of your life and that is pretty normal. When I meet someone that I click with, I treat it like dating. The good things about "dating" a female friend is that it's a lot harder to be too clingy than it is with a man. Be proactive setting up times to chat or to go hang out. Respond back quickly and demonstrate that you are interested in her life.

Meetup is a good way to find group activities that will get you out and doing stuff. I used that to join a knitting circle and a book club. Both of those were temporary groups that worked in my life at the time I did them. I believe the nature of Meetup makes the people really welcoming in those groups.

jennmannequin · 2018-07-22T21:34:09+00:00

I made friendships with women at the gym! I went through a breakup immediately after moving to a new region. I don't drink and I work from home, so I found it super difficult to meet people in general.

I started lifting and took up pole dancing and met lots of ladies that way. I've recently started taking sewing courses and hope to make even more friends that way!

I live in a college and military town, so I totally understand the difficulty!

LateralThinker13 · 2018-07-25T18:16:48+00:00

Since being together I have honestly alienated a lot of people in my life. I have relied on him to basically be my only source of happiness. I know it is not healthy and it is a very heavy burden to put on someone.

Not just unhealthy. Even in blue pill world this is bad. Google "Codependent".

Find hobbies. Quilt. Hike. Kayak. Ignore age differences and find likeminded people. Get out more.

[deleted] · 2018-07-22T14:06:41+00:00

Oh one more thing, I didn’t make friends with superficial gossips at work. That was just a surrogate. I worked with a bunch of betas who liked to keep tabs on me. I got rid of them. They’re just distant acquaintances now.

So watch who you make friends with! You need satisfying friends!!

stacysmom40 · 2018-07-22T23:16:45+00:00

I meet women everywhere that want to be friends.

Most recently, the dog park. I’m a stay at home dog mom and go to the park almost every weekday. I’ve met two women there - one who doesn’t work and the other is a hairdresser and works odd hours. So we make plans. Go to brunch or the beach.

My hairdresser and I hang out on a regular basis. Different lady than the aforementioned hairdresser.

Former co-workers. People I went to high school with. Ladies at yoga.

I’m also learning Spanish via Duolinguo and about to start piano lessons. I read. I have a small video gaming habit. I work daily on training my dog. When you add all that to the dishes, laundry, cleaning, and meal prep... I’m pretty busy without my husband. I love it when he’s available though.

TLDR: Get a dog. 😜

jennmannequin · 2018-07-22T14:04:52+00:00

I was once in your shoes... but I don’t know what “unfuck” means.

I resumed running and have running friends. I am resuming my writing club and book club.

I did however, need to leave my boyfriend because he lied to me all the time and was unreliable.

He also wanted me to wait around for him and not see other men. I didn’t see him in 2 years. I just didn’t know him (anymore)

So yes, it’s important to move on and rid yourselves of expectations BUT if you have no solid relationship goals (or none he’s shared with you)... you gotta date new people girlfriend. Don’t squander your loveliness on men who call themselves captains but have no control over where they put their time.

I wish you luck and for Pete’s sake don’t wait!

Title	How do I find happiness in myself and stop putting that burden on my Captain?
Author	jennmannequin
Upvotes	10
Comments	22
Date	July 22, 2018 1:56 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/90xw3v/how_do_i_find_happiness_in_myself_and_stop/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-do-i-find-happiness-in-myself-and-stop-putting.67490 https://theredarchive.com/post/67490

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