I’ve posted here before about my somewhat DB. Due to some gross comments and messages I removed my post. Long post.

We are both 25. Just bought a house together 5 months ago. He has always been pretty LL, except in the beginning of our relationship we’d have sex 3-4 times a week. I am HL and would be happier having sex that often. It usually happens 1x week now. It is most often pity sex on his part.

It has now been 2 weeks since we had sex. It would be 3 if I had not initiated the last time. I know he watches porn. I know that’s what he’s doing in the bathroom everyday when he’s in there for 30 minutes with the fan on. I’m not sure how often or what kind, but I’ve seen pictures on his phone of stuff nudes he’s saved and heard him talk about watching it (even heard his brother talk about ones he’s sent him to watch) he has always claimed that because of how often he masturbates that he now has “deathgrip syndrome”. Basically if we do have sex his dick is so sensitive that it “doesn’t feel good for me like it does for you”. Yet he claims he’s happy with me and attracted to me still. I told him he needs to make a doctors appt to be seen about Low T as soon as he can and that I’m serious about it this time.

He would rather watch porn and wank himself than mess with his in-house gf. He acts as if it’s a chore. I’m not unattractive, have a nice body, have been told that I’m good in bed, I clean the house, pay half of the bills, have dinner cooked 5/7 nights, and love to have sex. I may be a bit naggy at times due to his actions of playing video games any time he isn’t at work and not helping me around the house or wanting to go out and do things I want to. He sees my paranoia over his phone (that he constantly keeps with him, locked, and shielded from my eyes) as controlling.

About a month ago, he brought up (for the 2nd time.....drunk when he mentioned it) his hotwife kink. Stated that he has no desire to sleep with other women. He tried it with his ex, however, and once she started liking it more than having sex with him, he took it as cheating and they ended things. Needless to say I was horrified. I’m a very monogamist person especially when I’m in love with someone. I couldn’t believe that he could claim to be in love with me but want to watch me be with other men. Yet, I told him I would think about it.

I’ve tried to initiate in very minor ways over the past 3 weeks. Light touch on the thigh, climbing in his lap to hug him. I’m always greeted with “I know what you’re trying to do and I don’t want to do it.” I’m at my wits end. I don’t want to even touch him anymore if I’m just going to get rejected.

Tl;dr: Bf is more interested in self-pleasure than sex and I’m seriously considering taking up his offer of finding a bull.

Have any of you opened up your relationship to a 3rd party? Did it help or further harm the relationship?