Hi, ladies!

I'm still in the process of overcoming the recent breakup I had, but as someone who's super anxious, I usually have to go over every single little event that happened and take it apart to feel at peace. There was something that I did which I'm not sure was the "right" thing to do.

One day, we went out on a date and went to a pizza place. He had to take a call and it was taking a while, so I sent him a selfie on snapchat (we did this with each other often). He came back, we ate, and I went to use the restroom. While I was gone, he sent me a picture of the food I left behind and jokingly called me a degenerate for the mess I left. I didn't see this until I got home later at night.

I was pretty upset about him using that word so freely towards me and screenshot it. I sent it to him and told him I didn't like that he said that. He continued joking around until I told him I was serious. He had no idea it offended me and began apologizing profusely. I did this because I know how important setting boundaries early on are. I told him that I don't take that word lightly and to be more mindful next time, and then "goodnight", and head to bed.

I was proud of myself for standing up for myself as I usually let things like this slide in previous relationships. In the morning, he took longer than usual to respond to my texts and revealed that he didn't get much sleep as he was awake "thinking about things". I was a bit worried but figured he would get over it. I tried to cheer him up and it seemed to have worked.

Long story short, that night was the spark of him thinking about breaking up. He told me that he realized he was not ready to be his best in a relationship (he wanted to practice being at peace being single for a while) but he respected that I stood my ground.

I'm getting near the end of "Why Men Love Bitches" (it's an amazing read!) and Sherry stated that the best way to deal with a man acting up is to take a step back, ignore him, and bring it up later once you're cooled off and he's willing to listen. I noticed that my approach was closer to what she described as the "nice girl" approach. Confronting him immediately, wanting an apology and saying to myself that he didn't really mean it. Although it was also a weird situation since the snap would have disappeared and wouldn't be easy to address later on if I hadn't screenshot it.

I know that this will not change anything now and that him breaking up with me is not my fault, but I would like to grow from this experience and be able to better manage things like this in the future. I also know that many of you ladies will not be a fan of me giving this man so much headspace after breaking up, but I'm still in the process of figuring out coping methods for my anxiety, so I hope you ladies will understand.

Is there a better way I could've handled this? Thanks!