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Kekekeke7777 Archive

View 18 posts and 912 comments by Kekekeke7777 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
667

FDS HUMORKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 04:05 AM
556

CULTURAL MISOGYNYKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:37 AM
502

MESSAGE FOR MALE LURKERSKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 01:24 PM
335

CULTURAL MISOGYNYKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:22 PM
182

MOOD FOR LIFEKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 10:04 AM
140

MINDSET SHIFTKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 03:44 AM
132

STRATEGYKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 03:24 AM
126

NOTHING BUT FACTSKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 04:04 AM
79

DISCUSSIONKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 04:38 PM
65

DISCUSSIONKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:50 PM
48

Kekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 04:08 AM
44

SEEKING ADVICEKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 12:07 AM
38

STRATEGYKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 12:47 PM
27

DISCUSSIONKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 02:43 AM
2

DISCUSSIONKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 08:35 PM
1

MESSAGE FOR MALE LURKERSKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 12:04 PM
1

Kekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 04:05 AM
1

RANTKekekeke7777/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 07:04 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
526

Can’t waste that $12.50 on an extra burrito and soft drink until he knows for sure she might sleep with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 11:28 AM
5

This is such a thing. My sister in law had a similar relationship but they actually ended up getting married and divorced. I think it was harder than normal to leave him because of the h.s. sweethearts fantasy thing you’re describing. She said everyone who knew them was SO into the story too. Society loves that sh**.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 11:20 AM
2

Hmmm it didn’t go well. We knew each other very casually, had maybe spoken a few times max. He sent me a DM but I never saw it until like a year later cause of a filter. So when I finally reply, he asks me to meet up to talk about the charity we met at and I had since left. We had amazing “chemistry” and shut down restaurants and with our long conversations for like a year. During this time he gets a gf. I didn’t know yet that men don’t see women as people, let alone friends. So I thought we wer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 11:05 AM
12

Omg I think I might know him 😂🤣😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 10:24 AM
10

Question about pretending you don’t hear them: what if they repeat it louder? I had this happen today and I just went “hmm I don’t know “ all vague in a high-pitch voice and didn’t make eye contact, but I would have preferred still ignoring them but it would have been too obvious at that point lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 10:16 AM
20

I learned that all people, including men, have these issues in some way or another. Abandonment issues are almost the norm. And no man is unfaithful because of his partner’s issues. He’s unfaithful because of his own awful choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 11:28 PM
4

What was LVM about him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 11:25 PM
9

I always thought I would have them, but after seeing how terrible most men are as husbands and ex husbands (and often as fathers), I don’t think it’s a good idea for me. I’d have to want them enough to be willing to do 100% of the labor and 100% of paying for them if needed and I just don’t want them bad enough for that. Because I would never leave them alone, I’d pick up all the slack if he bounced. I respect people who do want that and who do do that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 11:22 PM
7

🤮 as if anyone is asking him “do you like younger women like me?!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 11:15 PM
13

I thought most (porn users) wanted all those gross sounds? You can’t win either way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:54 PM
3

Good for you. You (and we all) deserve great treatment and no abuse from everyone in our lives, even our parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:50 PM
5

Yes this is definitely a thing. Also I think when you’re newly single or almost leaving the relationship they ramp up too. I’ve never been hit on more than when I was recently single and went out with my friends to celebrate leaving a LTR with an abusive male. Granted the guys didn’t know that but they must have sensed my new energy or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:44 PM
1

Block him and if he uses different numbers to harass you, you can get a restraining order. My friend did this. A guy she met online kept using random numbers to text her and it was clearly him. The judge said it was harassment and if he texts her again he’s violating the order. Also after a while of not responding to the texts you can send a text back saying “who are you?” or something and tell them you just got this number or something
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 02:40 PM
12

Plus, where are they even going? Leaving society? To go where? It makes no sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 10:46 PM
17

Hahaha my male cousins say this all the time. “I’m making a complete 360 in my life!” K, I’ll wait for you to turn around in a circle and come back exactly the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 10:45 PM
10

My ex said he was “5’11 and a half” 😂 He was like 5’10 on a good day
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 10:42 PM
8

I had to watch it twice- I didn’t even notice at first!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 01:59 PM
1

I think you’re probably right. I hadn’t thought of it that way at all. But it sounds true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 12:20 PM
5

Ya, he could very well be why he’s doing it. I just don’t understand why seems like semi-upset about it? Like semi-jealous even? Very weird. He is also delusional in other areas of his life. Like “sees” things happening in relationships that aren’t there- totally inaccurate assessments of people and things. Maybe he’s trying to compliment me and is also delusional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 09:03 AM
15

Good sleuthing. Now you don’t have to waste any time on this loser. By experience I can tell you if he finds out you don’t like this behavior, he will just make his Instagram private- he won’t change anything, even if you were married to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 08:03 AM
35

100%. And later he will find reasons why your culture/race/physical appearance isn’t good enough/right for him anymore and why he is now only into his own or a different one from you again. Then probably come back to you when that doesn’t work out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 07:54 AM
2

Hahaha. I used to those a ton but recently turned my messages off. They prob hate they can’t “express themselves” lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 07:50 AM
9

Both. I tell him they’re not flirting and that it’s weird for him to say that. You’re exactly right in you’re assessments- he’s not inappropriate but he’s also not a HVM at all. Ya, maybe he thinks he’s complimenting me or bolstering my self esteem cause men liking women is the only thing that validates who we are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 03:07 AM
9

Exactly. It’s a common misconception that those doing the abusing were severely abused themselves. You also see it pedophiles claiming it’s the reason they became being pedophiles. And many people believing them. “He must have been sexually abused as a child.” Nope. Most women are sexually abused as children or sometime before 18 and they don’t go on to become pedophiles. It just makes my blood boil at the things they use and often make up to distract from their abuse problem or bad behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 01:31 AM
15

That makes sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 01:25 AM
10

Ya, I refute his claims every time. Maybe, but I don’t think so. He doesn’t hesitate to compliment me (not in a creepy way), so I don’t think he would do this weird, roundabout delusional thing if he just wanted to say “your hair looks nice like that!” or something like that, which he does from time to time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 12:48 AM
4

I’m an adult and don’t live with my father. I asked here because the women here seem to have lots of insight in male behavior and I appreciate their take on all things male. I see what you’re saying about him telling on himself, but he is cordial and personable to strangers, including women he’s not (as far as I know) attracted to, like much older women. He’ll open the door etc for much older women as well as men his men own age, kids and the like. He’s definitely a sexist man, like all men. But…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 12:42 AM
34

Men love to use their childhood heartbreaks as a reason for their abuse of their female partner. His parents are divorced? So what? 50% of people’s parents are divorced- half of those people being women and they don’t abuse their male partners 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/20 12:30 AM
74

I believe men use anything they can as a “reason” to abuse and harass women. “I’m old, I’m infirm, I’m losing my mind, I don’t know where I am.” “Funny” how you don’t hear stories about women with dementia sexually propositioning their caretakers. Or male dementia patients sexually harassing their male caretakers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 11:08 PM
14

This is so true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 06:59 PM
53

I’m sure it’s way worse than he says. All 3 were furious with him and he gets kicked out of his house? His parents are also upset with him? For saying childlike puns? Doubt it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 09:12 AM
59

You don’t have to say anything. Block if you want. No more chances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 07:32 AM
33

He sounds like he’s crap in bed and selfish. The combo being you not getting off very easily. He’s not making enough effort. Bye bye bye
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 05:02 AM
4

I believe men have a much easier time in general. It might be harder to get attention from women, but once a woman accepts a date, all they have to do is not be an asshole and eventually they will find a woman to have a relationship with. And then still keep being not an asshole and the woman will likely stay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/20 02:17 AM
2

Omg infuriating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 09:33 PM
3

Dude... thank god you did that. I recently googled one and his name and picture came up on 3 different “cheating” websites where people can write about their S.O.’s or former S.O.’s cheating behavior. Sure they could be lies but I’m not taking any chances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 09:13 PM
8

I’m here cause this sub is about far more than dating or how to date a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 02:28 PM
21

Ya. I’ve never met a man whose glances I noticed didn’t get worse and worse as time went on or weren’t an indicator of cheating or sleeping around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:35 AM
4

No but I knew the time restaurants in our area close and this was way past that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:12 AM
30

Hahaha. I told him “it’s probably closed” and that we should try somewhere else or stay in (we were in a relationship). He insisted it’s open and that we go there. “Be optimistic!” he smiled. When we got there, he became visibly angry when he saw it was closed. He even got out of the car and tried going inside anyway, pulling on the locked door and looking through the windows. I think he was mad I “was right.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 01:24 AM
8

That is so good
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 01:05 AM
14

🙄🙄🙄they even gotta brag about that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 01:03 AM
50

Total turnoff. I had a guy who’d always pick a place but it’d turn out to be closed by the time we got there, the place sucked, or it was a place where he knew the owner or a server and spent the whole time talking to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 12:41 AM
2

Interesting.. I’m going to check him out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 12:31 AM
10

Ya you’re right. And sooo disappointing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 12:28 AM
36

What’s with men and their fake IT careers? Even the ones who actually work in IT play up their education and a experience and call themselves engineers when they’re hardly that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 12:19 AM
7

I don’t want to be this guy’s friend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 12:15 AM
34

I like how tells you there won’t be any contact, like it wouldn’t be your choice 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 12:13 AM
12

Girl I don’t know you but I very much admire what you did. I wish I had done exactly what you did when I was with my ex. Not only did you do everything right, I will argue that HE indirectly put you in danger by his actions that lead you to feel like you had no choice but to drive home after curfew with riots etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 11:37 PM
1

Check out Lundy Bancroft’s work and website for resources and his book “why does he do that” there’s a free pdf online. Maybe someone else here has more resources?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 08:45 PM
3

Dang how do I get this job
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 12:22 PM
36

Yyyyeeep. Not only is it nothing special for a man to do this, but you’re right it doesn’t work!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:26 AM
20

Looool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 07:07 AM
59

A trial? So he’s not paying them? Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 06:54 AM
17

They are sensing that they might experience some consequences for their actions that they don’t want to experience so they try to manipulate you to come back or to give them sympathy, whatever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 04:48 AM
3

Yessssss!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 08:58 AM
3

You can do it girl. Another thing that helped me was someone recommended Glennon Doyle’s book Love Warrior and her blog, interviews, etc. She has been through it and what she writes is comforting and so hopeful with the compassion part. You got it girl one second at a time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 07:28 AM
5

Ya if it’s pinging for you it’s probably a red flag. I dated a guy who early on told me about how he got minor plastic surgery on his body for an issue that had bothered him for years and wouldn’t change with diet and exercise. On paper it sounded normal and actually kinda “progressive” for a guy. He played it off all “healthy” but the way he talked about it felt off, unlike when someone usually phrases their plastic surgery experience that way. He ended up having a major eating and exercise dis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 06:56 AM
10

HELL YES
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 06:49 AM
6

Just want to say that as someone who years ago decided she had to come to terms with the fact that she was totally on her own forever- that is changing. I too experienced abuse etc for years. I never in a million years thought I’d see the light at the end of the tunnel in terms of being on my own and just decided this was my lot in life. But whoa boy things are changing for me, slowly. They can for you too. I think first order of business is some major compassion for yourself. No matter your sta…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 06:47 AM
11

As someone who I think has a similar personality to you, I say go for it, have fun do your thing. Just be aware of what you want on the dates and if the dates start getting less fun and flirty etc and more serious or sexual than you like, or if the guys start getting possessive just remember you can bounce whenever you want and move on to the next date with a different guy and have carefree fun with a better guy. Sometimes I’ve stayed dating guys where it starts out casual and fun but then they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 06:36 AM
1

That’s so disappointing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 06:29 AM
2

Same with the last part- I’ve found that men who are much taller than me are not very considerate about “coming to you” for the kiss a hug or whatever. Or if they do they overdo it and it hurts to lean backward and they don’t listen when you tell them. And hand holding was physically awkward and usually I was the one to bear the awkwardness while they just strutted along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:25 AM
19

Yes he’ll need lowly worker bees to worship him. good point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:20 AM
13

I freaking LOVE what you’re doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:17 AM
17

Perfect. I’ve been the unwitting drive thru therapist before and it made my head spin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:12 AM
11

Damn, I didn’t know about the quick sob story tactic. Eff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:11 AM
5

I’m so sorry that his family and the whole damn town is dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 02:09 AM
11

Yes, my ex’s ex was everything I wanted to be in many ways. But I realized later that because he liked her so much, I found myself wanting to be more like her. Not necessarily because I’d want to emulate her 100% if I didn’t know my ex bf. But still, she was way prettier than me and everyone commented on her beauty 24/7, even in other people’s wedding pictures, like when she was a guest. My “solution” after years of trying to feel better and fixing things with my ex was to just leave (although I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 01:54 AM
51

Can we send only him to another planet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 01:46 AM
22

I’ve seen a few of those! I read a fricking article about the book written by a guy published on a seemingly legit science website. I couldn’t believe it- the guy straight up lied giving fake quotes “from the book”!!! I sent an email to the website but of course I was ignored.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 01:45 AM
14

Because then the gov or your husband may know your secret FOF (fuck off fund) which can cause problems for you later
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 01:01 AM
7

Whoa, scary and insightful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 11:19 PM
3

I have def felt this way and still sometimes do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:57 PM
44

They really do have their own narrative. I told a guy I’d been seeing a few months, “This isn’t working out for x,y,z reasons. I’m going to stop talking to you.” He responded, I responded back, and then I told him that again. He said “ok.” Apparently that qualified as me “ghosting” him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 05:49 PM
22

Cause they don’t care about how their injuries/death affects their loved ones. They know a woman will likely always care for them if they need long term medical attention and they just don’t care about how that affects her life. “It’s her job.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 08:25 AM
31

Ohhh yes. Ready to help a friend move, fix their computer, etc etc. but sit at home and play video games all day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 03:39 AM
12

I just.....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 03:37 AM
21

I just.....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 03:34 AM
27

“10 different women” ok sure
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 01:14 AM
1

Oh boy oh yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 01:02 AM
93

Ahh the good old days. closes eyes and reminisces back to all the times men harassed us as little girls while selling cookies even while having lemonade stands
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 01:00 AM
2

Hmmm ok. This guy is more manipulative than I thought. But him being so brazen about screwing you financially can be helpful because you can predict his reactions. Maybe start taking any sentimental things (or take pics of them) he wouldn’t know are missing and getting them ready to take with you when you leave or giving them to a friend to hold. Sounds like he’s really just “giving” you “room and board” while taking all your earning power and freedom of agency. There’s a free pdf online of Why …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 12:36 AM
7

Hmmm ok. So that will change the second you live somewhere else. You don’t have to formally tell him your leaving or even move your belongings before you are a single woman w/child and no income. The second you have a different address (I.e. you spend your time at this new address and put it on all your state aid forms) you may qualify. In some ways your zero income will benefit you when you leave or are preparing to leave, more than say someone who earns too much to qualify for benefits but not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 11:58 PM
7

These are really good questions you’re asking. If he can google his “exit strategy” with supposedly wanting to terminate his rights (what a dick for him to say that, btw- total threat and manipulation) so can you. Just make sure to erase history. Some lawyers will give a free consultation (some via email, phone) and that might be all you need to get headed in the right direction. And/or you can look at your county’s website and they often list their legal aid desk’s number and/or the organizatio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:59 PM
3

Ha, that’s what my parent said about my abuser too. Said “but he is a great [his career] and helped this one person one time and...” launching into a whole story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:47 PM
13

Hmmm ok. The support system is a huge advantage. Does he give you cash? Venmo it to you? Ask for receipts for what you bought? Does he track you on your phone or car? Can you ask him for $100 when an item costs $100 at one store but you actually bought it at another store for $70 and he just doesn’t know/won’t check? Or is he going to look for the receipt/ask for it and blow up when you don’t have it? Can you apply for food stamps/benefits as in secret as single woman with a child and have them …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:41 PM
3

Either way it’s bad for you- yes. If he’s not a rapist, great I guess. But he’s already violated you twice. And he got mad that you tried to stop him. All I’m saying is don’t stick around to find out if he will further assault you or not. But if you do and he does, it is NOT your fault. It’s always his choice and fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:24 PM
9

Hmm ok. Well, you have a place to start. Do you share joint accounts? How does the money work? When you need stuff at the store, how do you pay- with money he’s given you or do you have access to his cards? How limited or free is that access? These are all factors for how you will save up to get out. Is it better for you to leave immediately and go to a friend or family members house if one exists that will support you? Or is it better and still safe to stay and save in secret for several months…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:19 PM
35

Being not married can be a great advantage when leaving. You don’t have to worry about taking what’s yours and then fighting over it in court later. and even if he does call the cops over you taking a shared couch or something, nothing will usually come of it. Do you live together? One thing that helped me was planning in secret for a while, getting my financial and other affairs in order and only giving him as much info as I thought would help me. It’s a lot harder to be manipulated back when h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 10:04 PM
10

He chose not to rape you then thank god. But he might choose to later. Rapists are “nice.” They “care if you’re hungry and thirsty” on dates. They “hug you.” Sorry girl but those things have nothing to do with him assaulting you, which he already has.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:50 PM
10

He’ll come back when it’s convenient for him and/or when he wants sex. And if you ever get into a relationship with him but later break up, he’ll do the same thing he’s doing with you with another woman. Watch- when you show signs of moving on he’ll back in a second. He likely is enjoying having the “power” in the relationship right now. That may even be the only reason he went away from you, to get that power and use it to his advantage later. Who knows. But it will end in more heartbreak than …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:46 PM
53

What’s up with men having disgusting behavior? 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:38 PM
15

His age isn’t an excuse. Even children know when they are doing things they’ve been told not to. He knew your boundaries, crossed them to sexually assault you, then showed anger when you tried to get him to stop. He knows what you want/don’t want but doesn’t care. He wants to sexually assault you without hearing you say “no” while he does it. Take precautions if he knows where you live.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:37 PM
3

Amen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 09:21 PM
7

If she could see a man’s internet history when it comes to his female “friends” SM she would change her mind. My ex’s history revealed that he would look at one woman’s pics for hours then watch porn for 2 mins that had a porn actress who looked like her and get off. Then on a different day he’d do the same thing with a diff woman. Also sometimes the women are fooling themselves. I have a friend who 100% agrees with your friend about men and female friends. She’d likely drop me as friend if she …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:58 PM
1

Damn on the money!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:52 PM
8

100%. After I left my ex, I had some acquaintances that sort of knew both me and my ex but barely (we didn’t even know their names!), who we saw once every few months for 5 minutes total. Basically like “Hi how are you? Good, thanks” and that was it. One day I was at the place where we used to see them and one of them asked me how my ex was. I responded “Oh I’m not sure, we broke up.” And the woman leaned over and whispered to me, “Oh good. He had some type of ‘darkness’ in him.” I was speechles…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:45 PM
5

This is such a real problem. NVM and LVM don’t even care that those childhood classmates are supposed to be an obvious off-limits, no harassing/sexually hitting on situation. They hope that because they knew you from ages 6-12 and 20 years ago that there’s still a chance they could eff you. They are disgusting and don’t care that this is so invasive to the woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:31 PM
4

Omg hiking on a first date?!That’s like the most dangerous thing with a stranger ever!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:08 PM
7

Exactly, it’s a pattern of standard males who have been socialized to treat their female partners this way. Lundy Bancroft describes this in his book. They don’t randomly decide to act this way with their wives- it’s the way they view wives/gf’s and their “purpose” in general. Wives/gf’s are placed in a certain category that the men believe should be subjected to this treatment. Men with personality disorders may act differently in different sectors of their lives, but the PD traits usually show…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 02:33 PM
8

Honestly. When they claim they don’t remember it’s because they don’t care to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 01:37 PM
9

Normally I’d say yes but I’ve also seen my a few exes and other men I’ve known claim the same thing as well as heard similar stories from friends about the men in their lives. Personality disorders are a real thing but these men “only” do this gaslighting when it comes to their romantic female partners. I’m sure some have PD’s but my and large this is a an average male tactic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 01:35 PM
53

Yes, I just got off the phone with an Amazon customer service rep doing this. It was driving me insane. I actually finally hung up and wrote a complaint. He was talking to me like a child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 05:02 AM
45

This is a real problem. I witnessed a relative’s husband shove and push her out of their front door and she fell. He says he didn’t do it. He says he wasn’t even THERE! I watched him do it. My relative fell because he pushed her down. Yet he says that day “never happened” and that something was wrong with us (me and my relative) for even saying that he did that because we were obviously making it up and therefore in the wrong. It’s amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 03:15 AM
5

Damn that’s cool!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 03:27 AM
8

Amen!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 02:21 AM
2

Yes I agree 100%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 01:33 AM
3

Hmmm that was a very “sweet thing of him to do” and has a lot of plausible deniability on his end (“it’s just a jacket from a coworker”) which makes it easier for others to brush it off if you were question his motives. He knows what he’s doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 12:23 AM
5

Yes nothing justifies how he treated you. I know how you feel about feeling like the 2nd best in the relationship compared to him. Some of these guys reeeeeaaaalllyyy are such fakes and no one would ever know it except their romantic partner. We see everything because we are treated the worst out of everyone he knows. I hope he gets his karma for what he did to you ASAP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 11:49 PM
1

This is a good question. Maybe lawyers here can tell us?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 11:27 PM
7

Not your fault at all! Sometimes they lay the trap so you ask them out, even if it doesn’t seem like it. And it’s his responsibility to shut down women so much younger than him if they do ask him out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 11:22 PM
11

So, so true. It’s efffing disgusting. Even men who are 40 pursuing 30 year olds weird me out. And my coworker who is 37/38 has no interest in men who are 50, she told me. Like at first that didn’t sound that much older to me since technically she’s almost 40. But now that I see 50 years olds and I see her and I think about how I would feel if I were her, I would totally feel the same way. It’s just weird. They have no business pursuing women who are not even 40.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 09:33 PM
10

That’s a good point about the embarrassment of bringing him around family and friends that is often overlooked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 09:27 PM
15

Wow. Someone mid-50’s is still wayyy too young you’re right! They don’t want these old dudes. My former teacher who is 67 ran into her brother’s friend from h.s. at Starbucks. He was 73. He was majorly hitting on her she said. We were all teasing her asking why she ask didn’t him out. She said “that old fuddy-duddy?!” Dude probably looked 100.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 07:34 PM
20

Effing disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 07:29 PM
18

Same, most of my friends are too. The problem is once in a long while a very good looking, sort of younger looking one will sneak past and come off as very unthreatening. He’ll worm his way in without looking like he is. The kind where you’re shocked to find out his age. He won’t be too, too old. Just too old for you. And he’ll have an awesome career or maybe the one you want. He won’t come on too strong. I’m fact you’ll wonder if he even likes you. He’ll try and get you to consider him slowly, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:51 PM
16

Yes! It’s like schrodinger’s (sp?) gf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:39 PM
26

Seriously girl. I agree 25 is too old for 21 year olds. Good on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:36 PM
32

That is true. Even with money and caregivers, the women are left without their husbands for 20+ years unless they remarry. Happened to someone I know recently. Her husband was sick for like 15 years and basically couldn’t do much that whole time, then he died. Luckily they could afford help. She still has like 20 years left at least. She doesn’t want to remarry. That’s 35+ years of her life without a functioning partner, not by choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:31 PM
13

You are a queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:27 PM
11

Seriously. I did 4 years when I was 20 and even that was too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:26 PM
9

Oh bleghhhh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:26 PM
8

Yep!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 06:25 PM
1

IT IS NOT! Haha. So true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:34 PM
53

Ugh. It it is so violating being harassed this way by older men. I agree it’s scary when you look back and realize they weren’t after you for your appearance but because you were so much goddamn younger, oftentimes a child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:33 PM
31

Or the cops do 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:15 PM
8

I agree, very insightful. And helpful to me personally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:15 PM
26

Right? It isn’t everything unless you have tons of it or you’re trying to convince someone to give you a chance even though you have no intention of spending anything to see them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:14 PM
43

This is true. Oftentimes they even become aggressive and violent when you just need to think it over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:09 PM
9

Good advice I need to follow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 03:32 PM
5

Shoot, those are really good points.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 01:41 PM
14

It’s really good you broke up with him because at 39, he’s he’s still got another 10-15 years of pulling this BS before it becomes more and more difficult for him. And that would have been 10-15 years of your life, too. I’m not old enough to see what the future is for the men like this I know in my own life, as most are still out there doing their thing. I do know one in his early 30’s who just in the last few years aged really fast physically. He doesn’t smoke or drink but I think he “flew to c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 11:43 AM
47

He knew you weren’t interested in him and didn’t want him to kiss you. He didn’t care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 04:00 AM
35

Please keep us posted on the RO and how you’re doing. I have 2 RO’s on 2 diff men pulling this same behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 03:58 AM
6

I found out when he tried to cheat on her with me and other women we knew in common. A few he actually did cheat with- he told them he had broken up with his gf. I saw the messages.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 05:57 PM
28

My ex frequently commented on the slight size difference of my breasts. Knowing that’s what he thought about every time we had sex made me so insecure. He only “paid attention” to the one he thought was larger. He even brought it up after we broke up and were talking about logistical things. “I remember the left one is slightly larger.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 07:33 AM
43

Everything should be for maximum female benefit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 07:25 AM
17

Omg I can see that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 06:09 AM
16

This is seriously inspiring to me. Thank you and keep us posted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 02:42 AM
11

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 02:41 AM
112

It is so deeply painful when men do this. It’s such a betrayal to your very being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 02:40 AM
9

Oh for sure. This was on FB too so all his IRL friends, family would fawn over how “in touch” he was haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 02:15 AM
8

Hahah this is good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 02:00 AM
22

God, it really is. This same guy would post things on “depression awareness day” etc. about how much he’d struggled in the past and how we shouldn’t judge others for their mental illnesses and let’s all hold hands “we are the world” type posts. He’d get hundred of likes and several “atta boy” comments. Lmfao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 01:51 AM
17

Ha. I had a guy tell me this too. He said his ex thought he was cheating on her at work, which was ridiculous because he worked with all men in a remote area that no one else had access to except the employees. She’d call him on his way home, checking in with him constantly, got “hysterical” etc. Well, turns out he was cheating on her. He was texting other women he met at church, old high school crushes, sexting when he’d be able to fool one that he was single, and trying to arrange sex with the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 01:44 AM
25

Yessss. By “blindsided” they seem to be saying “I can’t believe she actually took action” or “I can’t believe I experienced consequences.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 01:35 AM
16

Damn that IS a good analogy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 01:33 AM
49

Yessss. If you watch the movie Gaslight, you see the woman slowly feel like she’s losing her mind and her reactions get more and more “crazy.” But really her husband had made it his mission to do “crazy-making” things to her on purpose. These are appropriate and proportionate (and sometimes under reactions!) responses to abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 01:24 AM
28

Damn girl. She sounds great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 01:19 AM
93

This is so true. Some men know how they come across when they talk poorly about their ex so they give this excuse instead. I’ve heard, “She really struggles with low self esteem”, “She hates herself”, “I hope she gets the help she needs.” On that second one I found out the guy cheated on her the majority of their relationship. Gee, I wonder why she hates herself after that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 01:13 AM
52

When I saw my ex on a dating site, under the question of “Why are you single?” He wrote: “Because I finally learned to love myself.” I about fell off my chair laughing. Please. So, it wasn’t the porn addiction, domestic violence, or stalking that broke us up?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 01:11 AM
21

This reminds me of that snl sketch w/ the weeknd where the guys are singing about how sad it is that their wives left them and they have absolutely no idea why and then the women chime in with the absolutely worst shit they did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 01:06 AM
23

I really don’t understand the deference thing at all. Why would I defer to someone who is not smarter than me and is often wrong? Has poor instincts, is impatient, doesn’t work well with others, and is only out for themselves? I’m not going down with the ship just because you refuse to do anything about your situation. Why would I jump in the boat knowing the captain is unqualified,arrogant enough to refuse help, and determined to sink it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 01:01 AM
35

No he says he’s good looking you guys! Men who describe themselves as good looking in dating profiles are always spot on 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 04:24 PM
15

Ideal match!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 03:52 PM
18

My ex did that too. Very strange.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 02:26 PM
75

I feel like he got off on seeing her hurt expression.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 02:24 PM
66

They’ll be back. They seem to rush ahead with the next girl(s) to make you jealous. But trust me he’ll be back. Be ready to shoot him down when he is. I know how bad it hurts. I found myself crying in a closet once when I looked at an LVM’s social media and couldn’t believe what he posted. Took a bit longer that time but 2 years later (!) he was back with his looooong messages. Do yourself a favor and stay off his SM if you can help it. It only gets worse and it’ll just hurt you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 02:53 AM
12

It feels violent to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 06:07 PM
3

God how disgusting!!! To touch you?! I’m seeing red. Same here with the talking- LVM male neighbors with no masks waltzing right up to talk when I pull up. Oh no, it’s ok, WE’LL put on masks, you don’t have to!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 11:37 AM
2

Yes!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 11:18 AM
3

Noooooo!!!! I can’t
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 11:10 AM
9

Must be because they feel a duty to educate we simpletons! We could never understand. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 11:09 AM
47

These tend to be the same men who believe there’s “reverse racism” and that “everyone’s too PC nowadays.” They know they will deter more women if they come right out and say they hate all POC and women so they try and make it cutesy like with the drawing you mentioned or they call themselves “witty” or “fluent in sarcasm” or even “comedians.” Ew he’s dating a woman who’s around the same age as his students. Also male philosophy majors can be “ 🗣️ the woOoOoooOoorst.” My friend’s little brother (…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 10:57 AM
4

Thank you for sharing that. What you said about the psychology of abusive parents was illuminating. No wonder they rarely have remorse. I wish it was more acceptable to criticize our parents treatment of us. The strong culture of “all parents want what’s best for their kids” keeps lots of us in unsafe situations as kids and then silent as adults. My ex’s porn use was also hidden until we moved in together too. So that was another “red flag” that never really was. I have several friends and acqua…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 10:48 AM
20

I hear of men saying so many women don’t have good hygiene and that’s why they won’t do it but where are these women? Every woman I know is super concerned about their own hygiene, especially if there’s a possibility they might be intimate with someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 10:25 AM
5

Probably didn’t care. And that’s the worst feeling ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 09:41 AM
5

Probably didn’t care. And that’s the worst feeling ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 09:41 AM
5

I guess I can agree with you that calling it a “change” can be harmful because he’s not really changing, just showing his true colors. But if you’re with someone for years and they were always protective of you, but then suddenly one night they endanger your life on purpose, it sure feels like a change. I do think red flags can be arbitrary. Obviously anything less than 100% respect and support and kindness is a red flag. And I’m of the mindset to be more cautious so honestly even the most basic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 09:28 AM
4

Hahahah the best one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 08:40 AM
5

Honestly idk. I’ve given up hope of being with one and am just hoping for good sex w/ a man I’m really attracted to at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 07:41 AM
49

I’ve heard a few men knock women because they “can’t cook but can follow a recipe.” What?! What does that even mean? That’s like saying “well she can’t drive but she can follow directions.” Lmao Who tf cares what someone’s though process was when they made a meal they’re serving you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 07:39 AM
21

I’ve always viewed the basis of that show to be 2 guys (the hosts) finding other men to make fun of women with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 07:27 AM
20

Yessss. He wanted a little drama maybe and for her to beg him for attention/validation/“what’s wrong babe? Please talk to me!” and boy oh boy did it back fire. Applause to you OP. I’m sorry he did this to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 05:31 AM
6

Sometimes they change after marriage. Ask me how I know 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 05:29 AM
46

Wow this is a great strategy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 05:26 AM
12

It really is awful. Even though some men do prey on certain women they perceive as more vulnerable, a bad childhood actually doesn’t predispose a woman to be any more likely to date an abuser than one with a good childhood, surprisingly! I thought the same thing as you, but after reading Why Does He Do That by Lundy Bancroft, I learned that there is actually no correlation! Total opposite of what they tell us, right?! In the book, they mention studies about this and the only common denominator t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 05:23 AM
9

Omg what a monster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 05:15 AM
11

It can be. It really depends on the area of course. I’m generally left alone. I have women neighbors and we watch out for each other, though there’s not much to watch out for. I feel much safer with a deadbolt between and the outside world vs a flimsy bedroom door lock and some roommate or what have you. I have all the control which is what I want. I know that when I come home there are no surprises. There’s nothing like that feeling. That being said, when a male relative sleeps over on my couch…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 05:13 AM
13

So very well said. People tell us “just find an older church lady living alone.” Just like you said those were my worst experiences too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 01:25 AM
20

Really good example about your dad and roommate. And you’re right, when do men ever have to leave their home for safety?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 11:59 PM
1

Loooool the best thing I’ve ever read 😅😂🤣 and his pic https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/andrew-marvell
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 11:33 PM
23

Honestly. Millennials especially have so much debt they can’t pay off. And through no fault of their own. Just cause this guy got lucky by not being saddled with massive debt, unlike the majority of his peers, doesn’t mean he’s any more of a catch than anyone else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 11:31 PM
3

Been there girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 11:25 PM
5

Looooool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 11:24 PM
8

I would ignore her if I could but can’t cause of the lockdown. I asked her “Oh, what do you mean?” she was like uh uh uh. Then I gray rocked her the rest of the night. I may or may not have pictured something else happening in my head 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 11:22 PM
20

Anyone else here only ever get flowers from their ex LVM’s if it was an apology?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 10:58 PM
77

To him: “🎵Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it. Ya you just might get it 🎵”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 10:54 PM
48

Furious. This makes me furious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 09:19 PM
37

I agree. The system is rigged. Even living alone presents its challenges, as men seem to smell your vulnerability a mile away. Of course I’ll take it 100 times over everyday than having roommates. I find myself lying to others about living with a husband or male relative, saying “we” or “our” when I talk about something with my place. My cousin does things to her place to make it look like a man lives there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 09:12 PM
25

We have to vet, of course. But most men who become abusive after we live with them or have a child are not in the military, rampant cheaters or irresponsible with money. Many are well off financially. Some, pillars of the community who are loved and respected by people we trust. Red flags that alert us to possible issues down the line are often not the same flags we expect to alert us of possible abuse from them down the line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:59 PM
23

Thank you for sharing that. I often feel alone in this and no one else I know IRL has had this experience nor seemed to understand the danger I was in while I was living it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:50 PM
29

AMEN
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:47 PM
47

It’s super difficult. Even if you are not relying on any man. If you are not perfectly capable and have any factors even minor health problems, low job prospects for your major, graduate in a recession, come from a low-income family with no “home” to go back to when things don’t work out, you are really screwed. You can try and work yourself out of poverty, but this will take years. Oftentimes there’s nothing you can do to change your immediate prospects until outside conditions change first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:36 PM
41

Right?! What B.S. All my friends who have significant student debt have S.O.’s who are barely contributing (the ones who work) anyway, even if they don’t have any debt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 08:31 PM
33

I hope so too. I don’t actually know. I wish I had her info. She was filling in for someone briefly and I left after she did. I’m going to see if I can find out. I’m really glad I met her because I had honestly never heard of that happening before. And seeing her working to move forward while still acknowledging all the bad was a great example to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 07:39 PM
102

I had a coworker who’s husband was her h.s. sweetheart. A very cute story. Great marriage for years. Seemingly an HVM in all areas and especially to her. She adored him and it wasn’t a front. I saw her genuine happiness and how well she thrived. She spoke about how he lifted her up. Their daughter was born. He was a great dad! Just like she hoped he’d be. He had a great job and she did as well- her passion. She didn’t need to work but she wanted to. He did most of the housework and parenting whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 07:14 PM
167

Some men really do a 180 when they become a parent (or get married, move in with their gf, etc.).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:51 PM
12

I think this illusion of time running out to be with him is a pickup artist technique. Seems similar to “buy during our sale now or miss out on these deals foreverrrr!” But next month there’s a better deal lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:25 PM
35

After a particularly upsetting incident last night where a much older pickme relative went OFF on me for existing, this resonates with me. Thanks .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:04 PM
22

I believe this is a main (if not the #1) reason why men orchestrate situationships. They want it all to be a mindfuck so we won’t be “allowed” to call him an ex boyfriend or deal with any of the fallout that came with it. I had one of these a few years ago and it took me longer to get through than when some relationships where we called each other bf/gf ended. You gotta name it to tame it or whatever the saying is. Instead of listing the complicated history when telling someone about him, I just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 10:44 AM
16

Great, great (?) grandma ran him over 😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/20 08:26 AM
8

Being with you and only you is not a sacrifice! It’s a privilege. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 09:02 PM
3

Amen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 08:51 PM
14

The difference really is incredible. I saw a brief clip recently and the scene was so disturbing that it stayed with me for a couple of days. My mind had trouble believing it was porn instead of a scene from a horror movie. Things my friends and I saw in high school, etc., which wasn’t that long ago, was like you described. Average porn now is seriously terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 08:50 PM
2

Y’all are opposite signs of the zodiac. Of course, that comes with pros and cons. Just as an aside, every Sagittarius sun sign man I know, gay or straight, has cheated on his partners with several people. I love em all deeply. I LOVE sag’s. But they have all cheated on every partner they’ve had from day one with multiple other people. 🙃
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 08:42 PM
25

Most men believe they are inherently smarter than most women regardless of talent, performance, or training. Remember the interviewer who believed he would win in a fight against Ronda Rousey? So they fought, she broke his ribs, and he lost. I’ve known men like this who will still walk away thinking they just had bad luck that day and would likely win next time. I’ve dated men who were obviously less “smart” than me. They were less smart than most people I’ve come across. In fact, they really st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 08:36 PM
17

He’s a Sagittarius don’t do it! Jk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 08:16 PM
45

My male family members did the same thing. It felt very shameful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:36 AM
8

Omg 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:33 AM
6

Good points. He sounds like he’s ordering off of a menu.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:33 AM
21

Right? Why is he away from his wife so much?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:30 AM
3

I’m literally a religious fanatic at this point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:23 AM
8

It’s a nice idea and I appreciate his intention and lack of directly blaming women. However, he seems of the common mindset that if women “stop accepting” men’s behavior, men will change. That is, unfortunately, not the case. The only people who influence men to change are other men. And most importantly, men don’t treat their partners poorly because they were raised by single mothers. There’s just not evidence of that. I’m going to paraphrase Lundy Bancroft’s research here: If that were the cas…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:00 AM
2

I 100% agree with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:02 PM
10

Really?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:20 AM
7

I do. All the men in my family are NVM abusers. Along with FDS, the book (free pdf online) Why Does He Do That is instrumental for me. I go back to it and the author’s blog frequently.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 01:11 AM
39

IME it was a way to de-humanize me. You’re not Michelle, you’re “Honey.” And it looks good to outsiders. They’re less likely to notice abuse from a man who calls a woman (or child) pet names.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 01:06 AM
1

Are there any movies like this? 👀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 01:02 AM
2

Oh man. Unfortunately, psychologists are just as likely to be targets of NVM’s. I’ve seen men in my family date them. I wanted to be like, “Run, girl!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:56 AM
2

💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:54 AM
9

Perfect timing. Get her legally tied to you so she can’t easily leave THEN drop the bomb on her, after she likely spent 1000’s on a wedding she cherished with all her family and friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:43 AM
6

Ya, the women were funny in this. The men weren’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:36 AM
16

They know we could get another bf if we wanted. I’ve known men who, despite knowing me for years and knowing my whole story, later told me they thought I was dating tons of men when I’d barely left my house in years. They want to create false scarcity (it works!) so you’ll settle for them and their NVM brothers. Like a fire sale. Also, I think men believe all other men are just like them (let’s be honest, most are) and if you aren’t getting with them, your admittedly many other options are also …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:32 AM
6

They’re trying to groom you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:26 AM
41

One man told me he was just so “hyper vigilant” and “always aware of his surroundings,” implying he was some stealth CIA agent or something, to excuse his gawking at girls and women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:08 AM
15

Loooool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 12:05 AM
26

Dang, you translated this for us perfectly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:46 PM
39

I hate the term too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:46 PM
64

Omg yes she was! I never realized it before I found FDS. The other day I watched a clip where they’re all practicing with a pro football team for a charity game something. One of the players comes up to Donna and says, “Sup, girl?”, totally checking her out. She doesn’t even look up from her phone but responds, “Keep it moving, 98.” which is is team number 😂. Ben is like, “You’re not even going to talk to him?!” And she says, “He’s a linebacker. I only date men with guy with defensive skills.” o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:40 PM
41

It scares me too. They’re being sadistic when they do that which the idea of scares me. I’ve found that the less you appear like you want/need something, the more men try and give it to you, which is also them being sadistic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:25 PM
6

Omg that is real mindfuck 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:21 PM
21

I’m failing to see where you have any responsibility for or “part” in being with man who abused you and who might now be stalking you. How does someone “let” another person abuse them, exactly? As if he would’ve stopped if you told him “stop”? You left him he is still terrorizing you. You’re right- you shouldn’t have to live like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 10:57 PM
17

I hadn’t thought of the difference between choke and strangulate. That’s a good one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:58 PM
14

Oh, that’s a good one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:54 PM
49

Sounds similar to when men call a child “jail bait.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:53 PM
8

Amen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:52 PM
7

Exactly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 07:51 PM
3

I would love to hear about how weird they were.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 12:17 PM
61

What an idiot. These women know they are full of shit. My ex did this on cosplayers’ instagrams and porn stars’ twitters. He even messaged them sometimes. Once he messaged a local woman with a decent following and she messaged him back in response to his stupid question asking for a recommendation for a local event and he was like, “Oh wow, thanks! That’s so helpful- especially cause my gf won’t go with me to these things ☹️.” Nice neg and he never asked 😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 12:11 PM
50

I’d rather hear that too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 12:02 PM
64

Death by a thousand cuts is right! And digital wolf whistle! Love that. After someone posted a clip of Elon musk and his ex Talulah (sp) here, I was curious about her so I looked at her Twitter. Lo and behold there were tons of men leaving rambling comments for her about the most boring shit happening in their personal live. Like Talulah or any other celebrity gives a fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:50 AM
86

Ew his wife is only 10 years older than his oldest kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 11:24 AM
47

Same. When I was going through it because of my ex there was no one giving supportive feedback.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 10:37 AM
299

Well done. This is super hard and it’s rarely talked about how painful this type of male behavior is (except on FDS, or course).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 06:40 AM
14

How (not) ironic that the things he insulted you and other women for are the things he controlled his gf to do/be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 04:37 AM
3

One of my ex’s better shots
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 02:20 AM
3

Thanks! And if you write another finance post I’ll def read it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:54 PM
12

Ugh same with mine. He never taught me anything because he’d get furious the second I tried. The result was he did everything but was furious about it and we had to rely on him for everything which I think is what he wanted. He also gave us crap meals even though they were “homemade” so our nutrition was seriously lacking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:49 PM
25

If at first he tells you you’re not like other women, he’ll later tell you you’re no different than the rest of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:45 PM
8

Omg 😂😂😂 They really try! Dildo factory! 💀 Lately I see “Philanthropist” as men’s “professions” on instagram a lot. Bro you live in a condo! The “engineer” guy I know makes great money. So why lie? If anything if I were him I’d be thrilled I spent so little time on education just to be able to quickly make 6 figures after a few years of working. I’d be selling that shit to all my friends. Sadly many of these men are really not qualified and lie on their resumes (the dude says on his LinkedIn he’s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:38 PM
6

Ok. You likely have similar options.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:31 PM
2

Amen to everything you said. I’m so furious for your mom and grandma.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:30 PM
5

Is it? I didn’t know that! Ugh these men suck. Why do you think it’s so common? I don’t understand how he could do this to his family. His family was frequently evicted from homes and lost everything several times because they never expected he didn’t have money. Makes me so furious for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:27 PM
9

Omg the “engineers!” My sister’s bf took a 3 month long tech course at the local trade school, works in tech support, and now calls himself an “engineer”!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:25 PM
12

All girl schools have tons of advantages, definitely. But they are usually religious (catholic) and teach serious shame about sex and abortion, even if they are “woke” and teach the biology accurately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:20 PM
2

Thank you, I’m sorry they did that to you too. One time I remember a burly man trying to see if my parent was home while me and a friend played outside. He seemed to know basic things about my parent so looking back I think he may have been watching us coming/going from the house on other days. He tried to get me to go inside my house with him and leave my friend outside. My friend was younger and froze. He was very intimidating. Like almost trying to bully me into it. I remember thinking, “is h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 12:45 PM
2

Toooootally. The many adult men who street harassed me, following me in their cars as I walked home from school at age 12 (pre-puberty for me) did not think I “was child- bearing age.” They knew I was a kid and got off on scaring me. Men also tried to lure me to their cars numerous times while my other child friends and I played outside and/or had lemonade stands in our “super safe” neighborhood. I look back at pics of me then even up to age 16 and I look so, so childlike it freaks me out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 08:22 AM
5

Someone on another thread suggested picturing him doing something super gross, like going to the bathroom or something. Then think about it a lot. Works for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 08:06 AM
12

Jeez, the games! I had a fwb do something similar. We dated in high school and then hooked up regularly in college. I was so into him in high school and was heartbroken when he broke up with me by ghosting me. So when we hooked up in college, I knew it was gonna be a FWB thing cause of how he is, and I never expected anything else. He was SO good in bed. Like best I’ve ever had to this day. Like off the charts idk what deal he made with the devil but I was all about it. So we are hooking up, it’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:56 AM
19

Tell him “do not contact me again.” And take screen shot of it and anything he says after it. Keep every message etc. If you feel like it’s safe to do so, you can say, “I told you to leave me alone. If you don’t stop, I’m going to the police.” If he keeps going or shows up at your house, you can request a “no contact order” in your county (if you’re in the u.s.).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:39 AM
25

Seriously. My uncle is a licensed professional in his field where the lowest salary was like 100k in the 90’s. He had every opportunity and has been working in the field for 40 years. He’s past retirement age but still has to work. He has nothing to show for it except a car and maybe 10k in savings. No home, no 401k.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:35 AM
34

I think the “we’re so in love we want to run away together and live in the forest and wear our rings made of twine” trope (which my idealist heart still loves the fantasy concept of tbh) is another part of it. That’s supposed to be “real love.” Like when they say you’re both so poor you’re “living on love.” Blegh. An expensive ring supposedly means the woman is a gold digger dragging her groom to the altar. There’s no in between in their eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 07:19 AM
61

Get him to put you as his life insurance beneficiary before you even marry and get a copy of the paperwork.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 02:07 PM
3

Exactly. “It takes 2 to tango” and all that. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 02:03 PM
25

Right? As if they looked like this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 12:54 PM
19

I always heard “no one can MAKE you feel anything” condescendingly when I’d tell him how his lying etc hurt me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 12:02 PM
108

I know this isn’t what you are referring to, but just a semi-related observation I have: The more I deprogram myself, the more I hate the term codependent when it refers to women being so with their male partners. Men gaslight and abuse us, lie to us and make us question our every move and then if we try and anticipate their needs for very own survival, we’re called codependent and told we have a problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 04:42 AM
11

Like, he selected the sex ahead of time to make sure they were all boys? 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 04:19 AM
5

If LVM treat their daughters and female relatives ok, they still treat their romantic partners terribly. Lundy Bancroft explains this in his book Why Does He Do That. It’s why sisters and mothers etc often deny their male relative is abusing his female partner because “he would never do that. He’s a good guy.” Ya, maybe to THEM. NVM and abusers (same thing IMO) view their partners as a different category than other women. One of male cousins treated me well growing up and we were bff’s but he st…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 01:07 AM
6

Did he make sure he had all boys or something? Like something weird like that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 12:37 AM
0

Keep an eye out. He could be testing you and this could be the beginning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 07:29 PM
2

In California and other states, it’s illegal for anyone to film, record, or take pictures of another without their consent (in CA due to the nature of so much filming happening there in the entertainment industry). And pictures of sexual body parts is an additional crime. OP is not without rights simply by existing in a public space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 07:16 PM
4

If you are claiming you’re going to hurt someone else then ya, but if you’re just telling them what happened to you and are over 18, then I don’t think so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:33 PM
13

If you’re under 18 then the mandated reporter thing likely applies but otherwise I don’t think it does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 09:03 AM
40

Yep. Suddenly they’re all about “no-waste” living.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 07:24 AM
16

See!!! Omg haha. The men I know always guess women’s ages wrong. My cousins fell out of their chairs when they found out my neighbor was in her 50’s. They must have thought women past 30 were like the grim reaper or something. They didn’t believe me until she told them the year she was born. Men are the worst.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 05:57 AM
38

“The elusive female orgasm”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 04:11 AM
38

Maybe my table has dreams I don’t know about 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:49 AM
32

7 mins every 24 months 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:47 AM
10

You’re value is inherent and determined from the moment of conception (I don’t mean that in a pro-life way, I’m not pro-life). So whether you’re on disability, etc. or winning the lotto, you’re just as valuable. And you’re the prize- even to men who make millions. With that out of the way, a lot of the things you don’t have yet will come to you, even if not right away. They come in a zig-zag line. Your goals for yourself are reasonable and achievable even if you don’t know how quite yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:41 AM
17

You’re welcome!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:33 AM
32

Hmmm maybe the police would like to know about what he’s doing. It’s called “upskirting” and is illegal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:00 AM
29

You can do it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 02:51 AM
147

To them, women are men’s property. So if you aren’t their’s, you sure as hell better be someone else’s. To them, it’s like your dinner table getting up and waking away and all of your plates and silverware coming crashing down as it leaves. You’d be like, “Where’s my table going? Why would it do to this to me! It’s mine! Now I have to get a new table!” If you later find out it ended up as someone else’s table, well,at least it’s serving its purpose and making itself useful for someone else. You …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 02:48 AM
14

Not unless I need them for something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 02:17 AM
3

Holy crap
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 02:16 AM
61

And it only favors upper body strength in men- not lower body strength. Something about testosterone during puberty. Women are typically stronger in their legs than men. It’s just different- they’re not stronger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 02:12 AM
160

Muahaha. Reminds me (slightly) of the time my ex took me to a shooting range. He’d been “practicing” for a few years and I’d never done it. Well, guess who was the better shot 😂. And he wasn’t terrible or anything! I was just better. A lot better. He was pissed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 02:06 AM
48

It’s common. But it’s not ok. You’re “in your head about it” because it’s wrong and something that’s wrong hurts you. It’s like a subtle alarm going off that something is wrong cause it is. Lots of things are common but they are not ok. Also, this particular behavior of his always escalates. And what you see him do is only the bare minimum. It’s much worse I guarantee you. Something inside you knows you don’t deserve to be treated this way or be with a partner who does this. Something that hurts…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:50 AM
19

That’s because 30 is an arbitrary number. It could just as easily be a different age. But they pick 30 in part because it’s so young and they think it forces women to hurry up and marry some crappy guy before then and be saddled with his kids so she can’t go out and have more power than him. And many women have had at least a few relationships with men by 30 so they are learning that actually, men ain’t shit- and they are more likely to have their own money by 30 and not need a man’s promised or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:44 AM
45

Don’t do it. Would you date someone 13 years younger than you? Nah, and the fact he is makes him a freak. When you’re 34 and he’s 47 he’ll be going after 21 year olds just like you. Their preferred age doesn’t change. I know a guy who tried to date me when I was 24 and he was 36. It’s ok, I thought. He likes me for me and age is just a number. I mean, he wasn’t 40! He was really cute and considerate and seemed to like me. Well. Turns out 24 is the age he liked, not me. It’s been years and now he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:06 AM
52

Omg your description of him is so funny I’m dying. He thinks he is a gem underneath some fat and he just needs to get their attention better, women being so dumb and all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 12:59 AM
5

I’m not sure. She said he watched porn occasionally before but it really got going once she moved in with him or at least that’s when she noticed it more. He lost his job and was home all day and then stopped wanting to hang out with us. He preferred porn (she said) but he told us he was “too busy learning IT concepts” online like he was some scholar and doing other things was beneath him. He got a big head over it which was weird as he doesn’t make a ton and doesn’t have an impressive degree in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 11:50 PM
24

That’s a hard one for me. I always wanted a child ever since I was little. But I don’t want to do 100% of the work the majority of the time. I just don’t. I don’t want a child bad enough for that. And since that’s usually the reality for women, the decision is kind of made for me. Maybe I’ll change my mind some day but I’m not sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 10:39 PM
28

Mmmm IMO yes. Even the ones who go into it later in life. They become a creep if they weren’t already. My sister’s bf went from outgoing and friendly manager in retail jobs, to porn addiction, to IT classes so he could be online all day and look at porn, to now working in tech support at home even pre-stay at home orders and is now a total creep. He doesn’t look you in the eye anymore, barely mutters coherent sentences, and she says he won’t have sex with her unless he’s desperate. He was never …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 10:16 PM
2

What a freak. I’m so sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 10:06 PM
69

God that makes me furious. I’m dragging my baseball bat against the ground for you in spirit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 10:03 PM
3

I’d have to have a really, really good reason. I don’t want to live with another person, let alone a man I have sex with, unless I had basically my own apartment within a house. I don’t want to tiptoe around someone else to not wake them up, or clean up after them, or be with them 24/7 during a quarantine, or listen to them coughing all night if they’re sick, or be confined to one room if I want some space that they could just walk into anyway, or not be able to use the bathroom when I needed, o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 06:49 PM
1

Right?! An ex told me frequently, “Nothing you could do would ever embarrass me.” Well the shit you want me to do embarrasses ME.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:30 PM
19

Sounds like you weren’t really super super into him. That’s not playing him. He pursued you long and hard and you either “caved” or thought “hmm maybe I do like this guy? Let me give it a shot and see.” Playing him would be you weren’t into him at all or even slightly attracted to him from the start and were dating him to get something out of him while lying to him about how you felt with a plan to break his heart from the start or something. Breaking up with him to find someone you want more do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:17 AM
32

“As your friend” psh he can pay a therapist for whatever advice he’s trying to get from you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 06:11 AM
16

Same with my ex: “it doesn’t bother me if we have sex on your period” ok well, it bothers me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:54 AM
2

Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 05:02 AM
31

Same. I kept getting them and couldn’t figure out why. He said I needed to drink more water and it was obviously something I wasn’t doing right. He even tried to gaslight me when I asked him about his hygiene routine to see if he could be causing them, by telling me he asked his female friend about it and she said there’s no way he could have given it to me and that I needed to do something different. Well, lo and behold he later admitted to not showering after the gym and coming to my place for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:53 AM
8

Beware of the men though who let you take their phone freely like this and say the same thing but actually have a ton of shit on there that’s “totally normal” like porn, IG models, and flirting with their coworkers, and freak out when you confront them. My ex had “nothing to hide” mmmm right I found everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:30 AM
18

Blegh he’s so boring
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:26 AM
9

Omg I had no idea about this being a fetish. Thanks for enlightening me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:26 AM
78

Let’s talk about the men, who don’t shower after the gym or whatever, and give their girlfriends UTI’s from the unprotected sex they pressure them into, then act like their girls aren’t cleaning themselves right or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:19 AM
20

Saaaaaaame x1000. PS I sent you a message about pain and dance, I hope that’s ok.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 04:07 AM
4

Sorry I meant like in PDF form.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 01:43 AM
12

Does anyone here volunteer to translate the sidebar?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 01:22 AM
119

Contrary to popular myth, breaking up with a man is when you are most at risk for him killing or hurting you. So it’s actually smart to be concerned. Even if he’s never hurt you before. Take all precautions you need. Lundy Bancroft talks about this in his Domestic Violence research.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 02:27 AM
28

He’s the clown for sure. My ex did similar things. Called my friends crying after we broke up saying he’d planned a huge getaway for us and that he’d have to cancel it now that I’d broken up with him; my friends called me worried about him; when I pressed him later, I found out he hadn’t paid for anything, it was just an idea. Another time he watched the tail end of a class I took for an activity I hadn’t done in years but had once been paid to do; when I saw him outside after the class he pulle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 03:00 AM
14

Ya I’m sure he was terrible. It’s just... that smolder 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 03:14 PM
57

But if it’s Jess? Bye, I’m gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 01:40 PM
8

A HVM is falling in love with the women. An LVM has ill-intentions, single mothers or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 02:41 AM
1

Because they chose not to rape you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 02:35 AM
5

I see what you’re saying about men but this is what we call a slippery slope, which is faulty logic. Rape is violence, by definition unwanted, and has a perpetrator and a victim. A booty call is a request for sex. Even stating a well-intentioned “the woman shoulda known that the rapist wanted to rape because he called her over to his house at 2am” is victim blaming. Saying the woman is even .0001% at fault for “falling for it” is blaming a woman for something a man does, which is not how rape or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/04/20 02:30 AM
18

They get off on it I think
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 10:22 PM
20

Hmm good discussion question. My cousin’s friend has dated at least one single mom that I know of. He’s an LVM. We thought he was an HVM for years until the following was revealed. The guy knew the woman when they were kids themselves. She rejected him in h.s. (he is still hung up on that) then later had her son w/ someone else. She and the guy I know started dating in their early 20’s and got engaged. He definitely got a lot of attention from both of their families and friends with comments abo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 09:41 PM
39

Idk man, the guys I knew who had these beliefs about sex and women at that age have the same ones now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 08:14 PM
20

“Por que no los dos?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 06:54 PM
25

Oh totally. I don’t cut them slack either. In fact I think they are even more cunning than we think and it’s not a simple case of “they just weren’t that into you but they’re super into the next gf.” They didn’t do what you wanted NOT cause they didn’t like you enough- it’s cause they were entitled and/or liked withholding from you. The reason they jumped at the chance to go on vacation or whatever with her is not because they like her more, but because they want to seem “carefree” and make you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 06:28 PM
10

I totally understand. And not to drive you crazy haha but I would also like to point how easy it is for men in general to have great careers. It doesn’t seem like it because it may be far off for you or men your age, like you said, but sadly it is just so much easier for men to be very successful in their career financially, even if they had a rough start growing up. That’s another thing you can’t really tell until you are his age and see the men around you and how much easier they had it. It’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 06:23 PM
51

These men learn too. The things they won’t do with/for us they like to pretend it’s cause they didn’t like us enough for it. But they will do it with the next gf, not necessarily because they like her more, but because they learned from us and don’t want to lose her, at least from that thing. They won’t admit it. They also know it makes them look good. It’s such gaslighting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 06:09 PM
11

I know it’s hard. I really liked my older guy too. For years actually I was sad when I thought of him cause I thought it was a missed opportunity. Well let me tell you! This year when I checked his profile and saw he was dating a women half is age?! I almost died. He looks like a grandpa next to her and he’s not even that old and he looks better than most guys his age. They were on a hike or something and she looks like she’s holding him up 🤢. Of course her expression is like “look I got the pri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 05:52 PM
7

Please be safe girl. I feel very protective haha. The exception thing is very real and intoxicating and these men know that. That’s exactly how I felt with my older guy. If you could be with a man your age or say 26 who has everything this guy has (or more) and who is even hotter, wouldn’t you choose that guy over this one? Trust me they exist. This guy is just pursuing extra hard because he hopes his age-difference mind games work on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 05:41 PM
17

4 years is still a lot for people in their 20’s and 30’s. So even if you really are the youngest, it’s scary because this is a pattern for him. He’s trying to date younger and younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 05:34 PM
15

It’s not bad on paper but in practice it’s terrible. 25 is still very young even though it may not feel like it and there’s a world of difference between 25 and 33. 33 yr old men I know who date women even a few years younger than them are all predators. They would date younger if they could. He’ll never see you as an equal as 25 is waaaaaayyy young to him, even if he claims it’s not. And that’s why he likes it. There’s even more of an automatic power imbalance than same-age relationship. And th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 05:16 PM
7

Mine’s were super nice to my face but my bf said they would talk shit when I wasn’t there. Idk if he was lying or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 12:55 AM
9

I wish I knew. I still find myself wanting to educate every man that crosses me and I of course fantasize about being beautiful enough to be treated right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 03:47 PM
13

Controlling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 01:21 PM
20

One (or all) of their female attention suppliers ran out and they need one back on the roster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 04:48 PM
10

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 04:46 PM
5

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 08:08 AM
2

Haha I love that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 03:11 PM
1

Perfectly stated
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 03:11 PM
8

That’s the dream 🌈
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 03:08 PM
4

Blegh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 03:02 PM
15

I’ve been debating about mine lately too. I really like her and she’s helped me a ton. But I’ve been getting more extreme lately in my beliefs about men after reading Why Does He Do That. WDHDT turned my world upside down in an earth-shattering/empowering way. Yet when I told her about it she was skeptical and doubted its credibility which made go oof. She Also encouraged me to know that “there are good men out there.” Which felt like a more well-meaning “not all men.” So idk what to do either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 02:57 PM
44

Leo dates teenagers so he likely already had it in him. Idk about Jared cause idk the ☕️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/04/20 02:53 AM
16

Honestly. I’m not trying to fuck you. Don’t flatter yourself, dude. You work here at Petco and I’m asking where the bathroom is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:59 PM
16

Nothing like being followed into a business by a man who says he wanted to point to his eyes and then at you and say “I. See. You.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:54 PM
9

Hahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 09:41 PM
11

Your student loans went to zero already? Can you explain how?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 06:42 PM
192

I’ve heard “you’re not who I thought you were” or “you’ve changed.” Mmmm yep!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 03:07 PM
13

Ha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 03:07 PM
16

Welp, I’m terrified.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 02:51 PM
11

Mine didn’t either! Wonder if that’s a thing they did with the “other women.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 02:31 PM
3

What do they call this? “Mate-guarding?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 04:49 AM
3

Unfortunately men who hate women (which is most) don’t discriminate when their little sisters grow up to be women. Sometimes I want to ask the men, “What did you think was going to happen?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 04:48 AM
9

I like how he claims to have the syndrome her very tall ex actually has 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 04:10 AM
11

Honestly, I think all women are better than men. The “lowest” woman by society’s standards is still 100 times better than the “highest” man by society’s standards. So IMO all women could do better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 04:07 AM
52

Dude same. My first ever bf poked my stomach and said it was “cute.” I was 15 and like 120lbs and tall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 04:03 AM
42

Friends with male exes is a great deal for them and a shitty deal for women. Women get: a shitty guy who flirts with them, tries to have “no strings attached sex” with them, and still treats them bad. Male exes get: no responsibility, nsa flirting/sex/attention from their ex, appearance of being “such a good person” for being friends with his ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 02:26 PM
2

I like the Janet Jackson version of you’re so vain. It’s called Son of a Gun. Heavy sampling of the Carly Simon’s. “Sharp shooter into breaking hearts. Baby gigolo, sex pistol. Hollerin at everything that walks. No substance, just small talk.” 💃🎧 Edit: sorry I just saw that you want oldies. This is from 2001. Edit 2: Aaaaaand I just saw you want instrumental stuff. This is not that lol. sorry! Haha. This still bops though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 06:07 AM
7

I’m not a fan. He tells women to switch up their style every day to things they don’t even like just to keep men entertained, even their male coworkers. “Because men like variety.” Sorry, I’m not doing that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 05:18 AM
0

You got it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 04:24 AM
0

Exactly. Don’t know why you got downvoted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/20 04:21 AM
1

I agree if the comment had come from him about her and her friend. That’d be an indicator of a creep. Because he’d likely actually want to do it if OP let him. But OP making a joke to a man about his friend and him is different. Most women don’t actually want sex with the bf and friend at the same time. And he’s not even her bf. She can say whatever she wants IMO. It’s unlikely she’d make a joke knowing he’d be so upset about it. He called her after to have a “serious talk” about it. He has a ri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 03:01 PM
7

Be careful with military dudes. Why’s he so freaked out about an obvious joke about his male friend? You’re barely dating him, it’s not like you’re in a serious relationship and made that comment. That would be inappropriate. But you’re still in the flirting, silly stage, so he needs to chill. Sounds like you are naturally funny and quick-witted and he doesn’t like that. He has to call you for a serious talk about an obvious joke? Creating drama where there is none. Taking the dog out for you is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 01:51 PM
15

This happens to me a lot too. Although it also happens in every relationship I’m in. A few months in, they’re bringing up their ex at every turn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 11:19 PM
132

I live near a university with a large Asian and Asian-American student population. You’d be (probably not very)amazed at how many white men go there/transfer there just because of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 03:05 PM
94

Lmao!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 10:52 AM
20

Lmaoooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 10:51 AM
11

He’s bad in bed. He doesn’t know/care about what you like. He doesn’t get you off. You barely want to be intimate with him. You’re probably not attracted to him either. How could anyone be attracted to someone who puts his wants at the forefront and actively makes you do things you hate? I’m assuming anal probably hurt too or at the very least felt very uncomfortable. How could anyone want sex with someone who makes them unsafe? Looking back, I’ve only had really satisfying sex with 1 person out…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 12:59 AM
25

Seriously. I always believed that myth about trapping because that’s all you hear about in the media etc. But after a friend told me her husband had been slipping off the condom-mid sex I was shocked. I thought it was like a rare guy that would do that. Now I see women telling their stories of it here and other places and I’m like omg. But when I think about it, my entire life men have been trying to get me to let them have sex without a condom. So it’s not really a shock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 12:42 AM
27

That’s hard. Maybe make the speech about her as much as possible and how much you love her, what you love about her, your memories together, things like that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 12:36 AM
7

Dad’s want grandkids for the same reason men want kids: it’s status symbol. Nothing more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 04:15 AM
11

This is like when someone messages you on a selling app trying to diss your product so you’ll sell it to them at a lower price/basically give it away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 04:10 AM
17

Not me, but my long term ex, who wanted to marry me (I said I was too young), and I built a life with, told me a woman he slept with one time before we met, had sex “like a porn star.” And it was ok to still lust after her, like her pics on social media, call her “sweetheart” when he talked to her, be absolutely giddy when he was about to see her, and tell me she was the hottest woman he’d ever seen (let alone been with) because she “was like a celebrity, so it’s ok!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 04:07 AM
26

18 year old girls, many of whom are still studying for Mrs. Smith’s 3rd period quiz, do not “want 30 year old men.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 03:56 AM
55

Men get off on rubbing our faces in the mud, so to speak. 1. He absolutely enjoyed seeing her upset about the jars. He felt a thrill throwing them away. Trying to make her feel powerless. Is jealous that she has a successful business (“her ‘hobby’” that he puts in quotes) and he wanted to make her suffer because of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 03:50 AM
6

Me tooooo. My first bf was moody, arrogant, and possessive. I didn’t even like him. Just wanted a bf. He was total dick after we broke up. Tried to date all my friends. My parents loved him because he went to a fancy school and got good grades. Although they didn’t let him drive me anywhere. Cars=sex, I guess. He never once tried anything too sexual with me. Barely even touched my butt. My second bf was sweet, intuitive, we liked all the same things, and I was super attracted to him. But he did …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/04/20 03:42 AM
22

The dudes are basically saying “I’m here!” with a “like”, hoping the women keep them in mind as an option when she feels like sleeping with someone. That’s what these guys think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 09:16 PM
18

What a mindfuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 08:43 PM
10

Lots of women blame us too. Everyone does I guess haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 01:43 PM
28

This is some Handmaid’s Tale shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 09:13 AM
3

That’s how I told myself to think of it for a while. But the implication along with other things he said comparing me to other women was too much and now I realize he was trying to hurt me. Also, he could have said something along those lines of “we fit so well etc.” but instead he chose to say “you’re not as tight.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 05:47 AM
8

Ew.....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 02:22 AM
22

Apparently this is a genre of porn that became popular a few years ago. Hmm what a connection
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 02:20 AM
4

Wow he just went right there huh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 02:19 AM
72

That’s a really good point. Do they not get that those stars do videos with hundreds of guys?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 02:17 AM
22

Agreed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 12:58 AM
48

They really must! I could never be turned on by tricking someone into sex. It’s crazy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 12:12 AM
65

And then we get blamed for not “vetting” better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 12:11 AM
5

Same. I wanted kids from a young age and assumed I’d have them. Then I was like “hmm am I qualified to raise kids based on the trauma I experienced growing up?” So I worked (and still work) on myself to help that. But now the older I get I’m like “I don’t want to do this alone, regardless of how healthy I am emotionally. And I could do it if I had a good partner but they don’t exist.” It makes me sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 11:52 PM
5

That’s a great analogy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 11:49 PM
6

Oh no Byron. Why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 11:42 PM
318

I’ve had men tell me they don’t go down on women b/c their bodies down there are disgusting. I’ve had men tell me vulvas change (read: get ugly) after having lots of sex. And I’ve had men also get angry when you express hurt at how they made me feel with these comments, just like this woman’s boyfriend. It’s abuse and so common.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 11:41 PM
7

These messy room pics really do it for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 11:38 PM
8

Oh you’re probably right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 11:15 PM
25

Ya, but in the moment you are too shocked to say anything. Plus he was big so I couldn’t really claim that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 06:16 PM
26

Internalized misogyny. We all have it. I hate it. It makes me mad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 05:46 PM
44

In theory it makes sense. But we know men don’t think like this, so in reality it doesn’t work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 05:42 PM
12

I’ve also been told that, and by someone I really respect. So much shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 05:36 PM
29

He thinks he’s the prize. If he decides you’re the one, then you’re the one. Doesn’t matter what you think about him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 05:29 PM
95

This was an ongoing narrative in my relationship with my ex, minus the cheating accusations. He tried to frame it as a positive. “Other girls I’ve been with have been so tight it was almost painful. But not you! Yours isn’t as tight so it’s much better.” Sent me into the biggest humiliation spiral. Nothing hurt so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/20 05:27 PM
19

It really is amazing. Such a turn off when men lie about this (which they always do). I don’t have time for that bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 01:11 AM
6

Loooooool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/20 12:58 AM
3

You’re allowed to talk to any men you want, ones you like romantically and ones you don’t. If he doesn’t express how he feels about you, it’s not on you to read his mind and then only talk to him if you also like him that way (although you’re perceptive you picked up that he probably likes you- great! Also, not you’re problem). That makes it so you’re doing all the work which isn’t fair. If he wants you to know how he feels, it’s his responsibility to tell you and ask you on dates. He could say,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 06:21 PM
77

Lol. Please. Wanting your partner to direct their finite sexual energy to you and not porn hardly makes you some BDSM dominant looking for control. Looool I’m laughing so hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 06:09 PM
4

My advice might be different than the norm. But I think it’s important to honor that anger and feel it. You weren’t allowed to in your relationships or even after probably, since people don’t let women be angry, let alone if it’s because of what men did to them. So it doesn’t go away, we just repress it until it’s safe and then it tries to come out later. But then that’s not “acceptable” either because then you’re really upset at something else and feel bad, like “I must be a terrible person for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 06:02 PM
8

Try and find out about his longest relationship. Did they live together? Did she make more money? Has he been underemployed while she worked full time the majority of the relationship? Did he get upset when something happened and she got laid off, couldn’t work for health reasons, etc.? Also did his mom do everything for his dad and also work while his dad was underemployed/not working? Many men I’ve met with dads like this also expected the same from their gf/wife. One man I dated was always pa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 05:47 PM
5

God that is freaking terrifying. I’m so sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 05:36 PM
4

Same. One guy said he’d had them do a wellness check on me (nope, I was home, no one came) and since they saw me alive, I “wouldn’t be in trouble.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 05:31 PM
75

This empathetic guy treats children. Great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 05:25 PM
26

Yep. They do this cause it works. We see tears and think they must be really hurting so we give them a break and “work it out.” They see it as us taking the bait and then after a few weeks go back to their bad behavior. My ex used to get on his knees and beg. It was so fake. 2 weeks later he’s back to the same stuff. A boy in high school sexually harassed several of us girls and when someone told a teacher, he broke down crying. The teacher took him to each of us and he was balling real tears, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 11:00 AM
67

“Is there an interest level less than -100?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 09:59 AM
23

Nah. He didn’t get the girl he wanted and now that he wants a live-in maid/sex worker, he’s suddenly “open” to more options. Forget this dude. Stay single. And if you don’t to be single, there will be many better guys. Burn him like he burned you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 09:56 AM
5

When you get to know someone, you learn what they like/don’t like. Predict how theyll feel about things and also feel their energy in the situation. You won’t always be right but you can be right 90% of the time. Men can learn just like we do. They are just more likely to have more motivation to not care/have less consequences if they don’t act accordingly. I thought my ex was so tone deaf in this area. Turns out he knew, he just didn’t care. He wanted what he wanted. If you went to lay down alo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 06:48 AM
3

I couldn’t get through part 1 because of this. Interviewing his brother about how hard his life was or whatever. I liked the MJ one better cause they really showed what a manipulative predator he was instead of focusing on his own childhood. Maybe I’ll catch SRK Part 2. Thanks for the recommendation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 06:42 AM
2

Good for you girl. Be gentle with yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 06:35 AM
29

True. I had a guy tell me how smart I was like 100 times. Like ok, calm down. Probably had a librarian fetish or something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 05:10 AM
12

You’re right- it’s kind of an insult about how they don’t care about your health, huh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 05:08 AM
12

Blegh ya it’s gross. Imagine saying to your female friend “I hope you got that beauty sleep 😉😏” in anything other than a joking context. These dudes are trying to test how sexual they can make the conversation. Next it’ll be about your ass since you said you went to the gym.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 05:07 AM
17

Maybe go to a police station? Sex crimes unit? With an older relative? I’ve heard military “looks out for their own” so you may not get much help there. I know a guy who raped someone in their battalion (?) or whatever and nothing happened to him. Apparently that’s common. But you could inform them after the police open an investigation. The police won’t care about the stds at all but they might care about the taking/sending pics/porn without your knowledge. ETA: do not confront him. You need to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 04:50 AM
41

Ok sure. A coma. I used to work with all men except for 1 female coworker who was the head. When I first started, she said, “Be careful. This place is terrible for grandmas. As soon as these men start working, their grandmas drop like flies.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 04:42 AM
33

Thiiiiis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 06:29 PM
13

I heard of one in India once upon a time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 06:14 PM
88

Totally different. And I remember romance novels were belittled growing up. And steamy ones? Forget it. “Only ugly, lonely, old, dried up women read those trashy books.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 01:18 PM
66

Yes I hate taking Uber. Unless the driver’s a woman, in which case I feel tremendous relief.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 08:21 AM
13

Loooool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 01:14 AM
2

Ask what? I shared my experience- didn’t ask anything. The emoji you used was a man. That combined with male sympathy, doubting my experience, and a new Reddit account w/ short comment history makes me wonder if you are a man. It’s not about cOmMuNiCaTiOn. He didn’t say “babe, you suck at oral sex.” Yet he was still negging me. For example, men rarely say to your face “you’re ugly” because they know it won’t go well. They say “you’d be prettier if x” or “my ex had x (opposite trait you have), yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 10:18 PM
1

You must not have read my comment about how he claimed to not like oral sex at all in the beginning, then later implied it must be because of me. I said he was a dick, not he’s a “boy with a dick.” Maybe he didn’t really like it from anyone. But he shouldn’t have implied it was because of me. That was a neg. You used a male emoji and expressed how because you don’t like oral sex, maybe my ex was also being honest and didn’t like oral sex either, which is male sympathizing towards my ex. Since wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 10:00 PM
26

Men and women have different reasons for doing this. Men usually do it to create triangulation and elicit dread in their partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 09:48 PM
3

Oral sex for men and women is totally different. My comment is about a man who was a dick and told me I must be bad at oral sex because he didn’t like receiving oral sex from anyone- not about how it’s impossible for anyone to not like oral sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 09:34 PM
2

Are you a woman?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 09:25 PM
88

Women don’t need educating. Men need to be stopped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 08:59 AM
8

What a dick
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:37 AM
52

“Kinda” want to see you? No thanks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 07:29 AM
14

This is a topic I’d love to learn more about and hear more examples. I’ve experienced this a few times in my life in long term relationships. The man wasn’t happy, I wasn’t happy, I make the decision to leave and he just won’t let go. They don’t wan to be there any more than I do and yet they keep trying to get me back. I just never understood it at all until I saw your comment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:42 AM
14

Me. And it took a long time to wash off the clown makeup, believe me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:38 AM
3

She looks super sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:36 AM
1

Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:34 AM
42

She’s the cutest omg. I thought she was gonna say something so innocent haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:27 AM
10

Where were you a couple a years ago when I did this exact thing lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:19 AM
60

He was looking to make you number 3 for the next 10 years lol. “Hey there! It’s me 👨‍🍳, just cooking for my three... I mean five... kids, that I have with 2 women, neither of whom I married cause there’s just something off about them, not sure what it is. Women, amirite? Also that other person’s kid I told you about is actually really my kid. So if I had to guess I’d say there are more than 7 less than 15. Just a rough estimate though!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 06:09 AM
19

Just sharing my experience: I was with a man for years who, any time I attempted to give him oral sex, would pull me up immediately. I asked him and he said he “doesn’t like it because can’t really feel it.” I tried other things but he never liked it so I stopped trying. He never asked. He never offered suggestions but occasionally after a few years he would complain how he’d wish I would do certain oral sex things (he saw in porn, I’m assuming). I tried and he still pulled me away after like 1-…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 05:07 AM
20

They really try. A woman I know, 15 years older than me, tried to set me up with her husband’s friend who is like 18 years+ older than me. Forever bachelor, only dates women 20+ years younger. Super gross dude. She knew it was gross but when he “expressed interest” in me she was like “well I thought you should decide for yourself.” Which lead to him asking me out and me having to awkwardly reject him via email and him going “haha it wasn’t really that serious anyway.” Afterward she was like, “go…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 01:09 AM
2

It’s so easy for them
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 12:54 AM
5

Yep. This was a guy I know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/20 12:51 AM
27

Literal miracles. Some took a while and others are still in progress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/04/20 03:25 AM
23

My ex did this too and denied me pleasure while he got his every time. For years of the relationship he always reciprocated until I moved in with him and he slowly stopped. Everything was on his terms. He literally would fall asleep (fake being asleep?) in the midst of touching me if I was able to convince him to reciprocate. Thank you for mentioning the “threatening” part. I thought I was the only one and actually felt bad trying to entice him to sleep with me after he told me I was “abusing hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:54 PM
7

He thinks he has it so hard now. Wait til she dumps him and his regular sex and probably other benefits go away. He’ll be wishing she would even look at him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:46 AM
3

Men need to taste their own sometime. 99% of it is disgusting, vomiting inducing if you don’t hold your breath, every singe time. Plus, you just got oral sex. Why are you being picky what they with it after?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:38 AM
5

I agree with the boring part. If there’s not great sex I get bored so fast because usually they’re not great at other stuff either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:30 AM
5

Same. I only got flowers when he hurt me and was worried I might actually leave.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:25 AM
3

Yes me too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:24 AM
2

Loool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:23 AM
8

Loooooool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 12:04 AM
5

Glennon Doyle talks about this in her book Love Warrior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 01:41 AM
3

Tell your credit card it’s a fraudulent charge. If they doubt it don’t let up. Get your money back. Stop asking him for it. And sell his shitty speakers and keep the money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 08:59 PM
8

They always know best huh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 11:56 AM
31

Goes to show older guys ain’t shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 10:47 AM
2

Oh shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 05:58 AM
28

I agree. It’s like if you won a singing contest but it wasn’t your voice. How does that make you feel like a winner, let alone a good singer?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 05:52 AM
3

Damn, I was hoping it was a real city like you mentioned. What are the 5 pre-cut personalities?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 05:47 AM
7

Really? Damn, I was thinking about moving. Sorry that it sucks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 05:30 AM
19

I think they’re capable but they don’t have to ask that question. They know the standards for them are on the floor and they don’t have to change to get what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 05:29 AM
62

Looool. I once overheard a group of men in an unemployment resources center warn each other about gold diggers loool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/20 12:20 AM
28

You’re already wifey to him since you live together. It’s how they think. I wouldn’t bring it up since then he’ll know you’ve looked at his reddit, right? If you actually want to marry him, I’d quit any “wifey” duties you’re doing for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 05:20 PM
15

Love how you wrote this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 09:54 AM
10

“A lot” -21 Savage. Also me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 06:10 AM
16

Thank you. I’m gonna keep re-reading this to myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 04:23 AM
28

Kind of a rhetorical question but how do we reprogram ourselves? I read FDS etc religiously, am single and got rid of bad men in my life, and am trying to focus on everything else that matters. But I still feel that drive (I don’t act) to go out and find a man who wants me, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 03:42 AM
1

For sure. And I believe it. I wish it wasn’t true. Ironically if they weren’t so awful, they’d have way more options and get what they want anyway and we wouldn’t be deceived.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 03:35 AM
8

It’s awful that we need to feel desired by the man to want sex with him and yet it’s the one thing we can’t even get close to counting on from them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 03:28 AM
18

This makes me not trust any man and doubt every man I’ve ever been with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 03:22 AM
9

At this point I’m hoping the small part of me that’s attracted to certain women takes over and I find an awesome one and I’m awesome for her. But since my dominant sexuality (I’m like 95% straight and don’t really have sexual thoughts about women) is unlikely to change idk what I’m gonna do. I’ll be single before I’m with a man who makes me feel like shit. But I miss physical intimacy so I’m hoping to find some good that hopefully again before I die.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 03:12 AM
1

Maybe he changed his last name? I’ve surprisingly known several men do this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 12:08 AM
95

So true. A super wealthy man I know was shocked when a younger, minimum wage-paid acquaintance of his wasn’t into him. He wanted her and assumed she’d jump at the chance for a life with him. Nah, bro. She’s not attracted to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 10:41 PM
1

Same here but only with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 09:57 PM
12

So dangerous. I’m over here furious for being told it’s all in my head and guys are getting handed Ed pills and hormones no problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 09:37 PM
17

I know several men who supplement their own testosterone without a doctor’s supervision. Yes, some have/had low testosterone but the root cause was never looked for/discussed. Low hormones is often caused by thyroid disease. One guy I know gets his from “some guy at the gym” and shoots himself up with it. He’s lost tons of hair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 09:34 PM
8

Hahaha. Maybe. But he was sure to accept blowjobs and me doing all the work sex so it’s not like he was a robot in that sense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 08:20 PM
24

Same in many ways. Knew a man on the periphery for years. He was secretly pining, or so he said. When I was single, he went for it. We became friends, had amazing chemistry. I felt it and people would comment on it. They noticed it before I did. Strangers would stare even on our coffee meetups when nothing was going on. I started to let myself consider him “that way.” One day I kissed and just... nothing. We had sex and just... nothing. He had nothing to offer and didn’t even try. Fml.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:56 PM
2

Men are motivated to get what they think they’re entitled to, i.e. their “birth rights” which society has told us are: a romantic partner (RP) that is akin to their servant, sex from RP, emotional labor from RP, an RP to raise their children, admiration for their ideas/thoughts/beliefs, money, power, and control. The power and control comes automatically if they secure a female RP. They are also motivated to live in a way that “proves”/deludes to themselves what we’ve been taught since birth: “m…
/r/askFDS05/04/20 06:39 AM
20

Tbh I wasn’t either. It was men who pushed it on me. If I hadn’t been pressured I probably wouldn’t have had PIV sex until mid 20’s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 07:51 PM
47

They do honestly want that. One former FWB was shocked I said I’d wouldn’t keep a pregnancy if he got me pregnant. He was like 😱😳. He wanted me to have his baby and kept trying to have unprotected sex. We weren’t even together. I never thought men like this existed until I met him. Later after I learned about FDS, I realized what he was doing back then. He also thought multiple women had lied to him about being pregnant. I shudder to think what those women went through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 06:31 AM
3

They always say we’re overreacting but look at his stupid response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 05:17 AM
1

Loooool no one likes him 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 04:14 AM
1

What an a**hole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 04:14 AM
19

Yes for sure. One man I know was married for 40+ years. He remarried immediately to much younger woman. Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 06:33 PM
9

Amen, sister. I can relate for sure. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 05:16 PM
72

They think everything we do is for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 05:28 AM
22

Same thing. It’s how the men in the boys’ lives treat their romantic partners. It’s in the books When Dad Hurts Mom and Why Does He Do That by Bancroft.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 05:17 AM
6

Now I know why my ex was so weird in checkout lines. He was trying not to get caught.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:56 AM
11

Even then it’s a ploy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:53 AM
16

I was with a man who, slowly over the years, became a gawker. It destroyed my self worth. Near the end of our relationship, I literally excused myself to go cry in a CVS bathroom because I couldn’t take his gawking one more minute. I didn’t “let” him stare at anyone. I tried and tried and tried to get him to stop, to see my side, etc. Women can’t control when men do this. They have no say, even if they think they do. Men (and many women, even therapists) gaslight the eff out of you if you expres…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:47 AM
7

I like that hers didn’t rhyme. Makes it funnier. But $25? More like $25,000.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:39 AM
12

Yes and they’ll use you opening up to them to try and get your guard down for sex or rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:35 AM
37

His mother behaved horribly. Deplorably. But.....it’s the father who determines how a man will treat his romantic partners, per Lundy Bancroft’s research on men. Thank god that part is not on we women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 03:20 AM
35

Yet 5’8 women are “too tall” for many men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 04:05 PM
1

😏😏😏😏😏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 02:11 AM
2

Send him a Venmo request for your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 02:02 AM
9

Looool his profile omg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 01:53 AM
25

Only he is allowed to play music!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 01:31 AM
8

Hahaha right? It was oddest moment that I still remember it years later. Then he microwaved his own lunch. Lool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 01:26 AM
67

It’s true. Often these masquerade as something else. My ex was great with money but also not stingy. Always working hard too. Knew him for years. Then we moved in together. He quit his job the next month. He sat on his ass all day. Then I was laid off. He had income but it was more than mine. Yet he started expecting me to pay for everything. Borrowed money cause his account was low. Ok I said. Then I saw his statement and it was more than mine?! “I just don’t like to go below a certain number.”…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 01:25 AM
39

What a jerk. Looking back I think my dad was the same with my mom (divorced). She went to food banks while he was chilling. She always had to ask him to pay for things cause he’d withhold even though he made a good salary. There’s a place in hell for this behavior.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 01:18 AM
9

Chills
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 12:39 AM
13

Looool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 12:37 AM
206

Amen. Or he’ll cry broke and want you to pay for everything while he keeps his account stable. Ask me how I know lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 12:33 AM
12

Hahaha One time a male coworker watched me microwaving my lunch then came over to say I’m “so independent” because of it. Uhhhh. They think we are idiots. And They’re usually the dependent ones, having their gf/wife do everything for them and them never contributing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 12:06 AM
2

Even though I broke up with my ex, I went through serious man/physical closeness/sex withdrawals. So much so that I got effed over big time when I caved in a “friendship” with a man a few years later. Since then even though I still miss it terribly, when I think about dating I just ugh. So not worth it most of the time. I’m trying to manifest the HVM I want but mainly remaking myself the type of HVW I want to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 11:59 PM
2

Amen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 11:54 PM
1

Looool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:06 PM
17

I got that too! All the other participants had “-cel” too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 07:03 AM
35

My ex: no one can make you feel anything, kekekeke7777. You make me feel like I made a mistake ever talking to you, Brian.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 06:59 AM
32

Power/control/trying to scare you. Bet he doesn’t raise his voice to his male friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 01:54 AM
42

Sorry, I fainted from being hit with the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 01:51 AM
53

When he called the day after we had sex the first time and said, “I called because I didn’t want to be a dick and not call you.” Uh ohhhhhhhh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 01:48 AM
27

Bad news bears. My ex had lots of female friends. I’m sure they thought he was absolutely the sweetest and would never hit on them. They’d never guess how terribly he treated me. One never acknowledged me even though we had dinner we her multiple times. She wouldn’t even look at me or respond when I asked her a question. Who knows what he was telling her. He also had some friends that were for stoking his ego- he’d give compliments, offer career advice (“found you a great job!”), etc. Later, whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 11:45 PM
13

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 08:23 PM
17

Loooool they tried
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 06:40 PM
25

Yes I agree they know. Years later one man was like, “Um, were you 18 then?” I was but.. He only cared cause he thought I might report him now that I was older.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 06:39 PM
16

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 06:36 PM
56

“What really qualifies as killing someone, anyway?” -a killer
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:45 PM
16

It will protect her if he violates it. If he even texts her after the order is in place, he can be arrested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 04:53 PM
19

It’s just always been a red flag for me that either predicts future behavior with women or reveals current obsession with an ex(es).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:04 PM
16

Mentioning another woman favorably at any point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:47 PM
37

Restraining order?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:45 PM
74

Ditto to never talking to men again. I told my male relative some minor details about my assault and he said “you already told me that!” like, since I already told him the man assaulted me at all, anything else was superfluous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:40 PM
20

Same here! And what he said was his ex I later discovered was someone he was with one time and she quickly told him “let’s just be friends.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 11:28 AM
20

Men always think women are sooooo into them. Like chill dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 11:22 AM
42

My ex said something similar to this as well and I too think he really felt that way. Guess he thought he was doing me a favor? He was massively insecure about his looks. I thought he was objectively very hot and that he could model (he could have). Funny how I was hot enough to pursue hardcore for several months, rave about my looks for about a year, want sex 24/7, lock me down quickly, amazing enough to want to marry me, brag about me to all this family and friends, but not enough to be consid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 11:06 AM
4

Holy crap do you know me? This is amazing advice. Is it Ok if I write it down?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:04 AM
42

Ya I think they lie too. I think FDS says not to tell them we’re looking for a bf. I love your username 😀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 12:54 AM
39

I hate my life and I still don’t want a man in it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 08:38 PM
27

“You’re lucky I don’t hit you.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 05:36 PM
6

Why do they stay? Attention?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 02:21 PM
32

I think this was my ex. He flirted mercilessly, was downright inappropriate with female “friends”, stopped having sex with me, we were fighting constantly, found me unattractive, didn’t love me anymore let alone like me, yet he never would have broken up with me. He held on so hard.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 01:07 AM
31

I’ve noticed the difference too. They used to try and get sex so hard and now it’s like “meh, let me jerk you around with texts here and there.” Very odd.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 01:01 AM
16

👏👏👏👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 08:45 PM
48

He’s either cheating (99%) or didn’t want to tell you what he used them for. If it’s not cheating what could it be? What would be so odd that he used them for that he decided to make up stories and not tell his gf? Doesn’t make any sense. It’s gotta be cheating. I’m sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 05:29 PM
3

Haha maybe I am 😬😬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 04:51 PM
14

I agree. According to the armchair codependent definition, all women would be codependent in their experiences with men. If it helps some women, great. But I think it’s a slippery slope to blaming women for men’s behavior. Off topic rant: It’s one reason why I personally can’t stand the 12 step model for family members of addicts, for myself. Again, only speaking for myself. Step one is helpful for me but the ones about “admitting/asking god to fix our wrongs” are often framed in the context of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 02:07 PM
8

Amen! Or rather... Awomen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 12:25 PM
16

My ex did this too! So insulting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 10:57 AM
13

Age: 49 Seeking: Women Ages 18-29 Ok bro
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:11 AM
59

It happens everywhere and with all kinds of women. I almost did when I was 24 and he was near 40. Later, I saw him keeping other women that age and younger in his orbit at a place we both frequented. The women were all different. It’s more about the man than the woman he brings in. He was real “laid back” and chill. Didn’t give off a sexual vibe but asked these women out on real dinner dates. Lots of texting in between- asking real questions, being funny, etc. I think we young women found it ref…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:00 AM
47

Entire text: “Codependency is an increasingly popular term for describing an expanding population of individuals. This concept, originally identified by drug and alcohol counselors, was formulated to describe those individuals who make relationships with substance abusers, enable them, and fail to leave them even after it becomes clear that the relationship is a damaging one (Rockland County Department of Mental Health, Alcohol and Substance Abuse Services, 1989-1990). It appears as if the partn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 04:06 AM
43

And you can be sure they won’t pay a single dime for the funeral. My friend’s cousin died and her ex husband (and father of her child) wouldn’t pay a cent for the funeral/final expenses, even though he is well off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 02:53 AM
11

Yes same here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 12:15 AM
3

What a dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 12:11 AM
4

Not sure why I got downvoted. Is JDepp not an abuser?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 12:10 AM
1

I think it’s Elon cheating on his wife with Amber Heard? Im out of the loop though. JDepp is an abuser, idc what the redpillers say about amber.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 11:53 PM
14

FDS should sell merch and have a shirt with “hAvE yOu tRiEd tALkiNg tO hiM?” haha. Then we could identify fellow FDS sisters irl 😀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 10:33 PM
3

Is it possible he’s acting like 27 is “too young” to marry because it’s his sister and there’s some sexism there (“she doesn’t know her own mind”) and/or he’s weird about his sister being an adult woman? Would he feel the same if it was his brother married at 27? Somethings to think about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 10:24 PM
13

Amazing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 07:36 PM
3

What a dick. Same. They really do know when we’re smarter, huh?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 07:36 PM
11

Hahaha my ex would say that too!!! And p.s., he didn’t have “street smarts” either 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 06:52 PM
24

Coupla psychologists there 😂 Whatever helps you sleep at night 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 12:51 PM
7

😂🤣😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 12:05 PM
34

Nope. IMO most men will delude themselves into thinking no woman on earth is as smart or smarter than them- except for maybe a woman who discovers the cure for cancer. And even then, she just got lucky/they could have done it too. Or they’ll compartmentalize and say “she’s better at that one, tiny thing, but I’m smarter overall.” My ex used to say, “you’re smarter than me but I know more.” He was a total idiot who was usually wrong about basic facts and patterns. Like, if a store says they close…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 11:38 AM
18

Not social media, but if I know his bday, I’ll look him up on free gov court databases. You can see everything from speeding tickets, domestic violence cases, divorce proceedings, even small claims.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 03:59 AM
70

A pic with him and multiple other men. Which one are you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 03:50 AM
21

It’s like when privileged people think giving rights to others takes away their own. At least that’s what I suspect is at play.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 03:47 AM
99

So common. And all the men who won’t claim their wives in their profile but they are all over their wive’s profile. Pics, mentioning them in their bio, etc. They look like they’re single w/out kids to the outsider.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 03:43 AM
2

Mmmhmmm I think you’re right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 03:37 AM
4

Lol a man I know claims he’s a “philanthropist.” Bro, you live in a townhouse!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 12:40 AM
8

Thank you for sharing this!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 06:20 PM
6

I’m furious too. Righteous anger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 04:15 PM
13

Right!!! My (gay) former male friend once asked what age I got my period at. I told him (average age) and he look shocked. I was like what? He said “isn’t that SUPER EARLY?!?!” I’m all no....it’s actually smack in the middle of the range. After further prodding, he told me he thought the second a child gets their first period they are like prime to give birth or something. It was disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 02:52 PM
144

They also conveniently leave out that teenage pregnancies and of course child pregnancies are on average more dangerous for mother and baby, more likely to be high risk, often have complications and other problems than adult pregnancies. If biology was so smart, why is it so risky for these children (they’re supposedly “biologically” attracted) to give birth? And why aren’t these girls attracted to adult men if it’s “biology?” Gee, it couldn’t be because of the power imbalance, the fact men are …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 04:28 AM
2

Thank you!! 😀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 11:32 AM
10

He might have been lying. But even if he thinks you weren’t the right one for him to have his “sERiOuS” relationship, it doesn’t make her better than you. Hardly. When you are 38, you’re going to be like wow, how could anyone date this loser? She likely doesn’t know how bad he is yet, hence the fast fast fast tracking he’s trying to do before she finds out. But we don’t know her situation. Maybe she’s desperately lonely. I know I was when I started dating the guy I referred to. Just gut-punched …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 11:18 AM
27

Sort of related question: What’s with guys who have read receipts turned on sometimes and off other times? A male coworker of mine does this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 10:19 AM
12

Yes I have a hard time with this too. It’s like all my old thoughts come back. I saw someone on here say picture him doing something gross and it will dull the allure. That works for me sometimes lol. Main thing is to have multiple men you’re dating at once.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 10:13 AM
8

He was either seeing her or lining it up while he was with you or he’d already planned for it before you were dating. It’s very probable things will end with this woman just as quickly as they started. All this is probably something he’s done before with other women. It’s just new and shocking to you (because it is shocking). Serious fast usually doesn’t last. And if it does it’s usually tumultuous on the inside. He’ll likely do the same thing to her he did to you. Or he’ll keep her around after…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:53 AM
3

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:13 AM
27

Yes. Usually it would happen while getting ready for a date. I’d have severe nervousness as if I had to give a speech to thousands, unprepared and no notice about something I know nothing about. “Awww you’re nervous! Means you really like him!” Nope. Means there’s something I don’t know consciously yet about him that I need to avoid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 03:18 AM
6

Oh yes I def did. D.I.C.K.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 03:15 AM
34

After reading Why Does He Do That I kind of believe that HVM have to be raised to treat their romantic partners right (by their dads/a good father figure) or it’s usually too late. Not to say LVM can’t change, it’s just they don’t have to so they don’t. An older dad who seems HVM now but seemed LVM when he was younger is likely only acting like he’s not LVM any longer because he doesn’t have access to younger women anymore, like you said. “Hmm Ok I’ll marry someone my own age now and let her tak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 03:11 AM
46

Ya dudes use this book that they’ve never even read to justify pressuring women into sex with them. It’s my love language babe!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 02:57 AM
2

What different lives we lead!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 01:48 AM
10

YES!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 02:24 PM
44

Dear Lord. There’s a “What Made You Walk Out of a Date?” on r/AskMen too. “The woman was stunningly beautiful but was on her phone too much.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 06:15 AM
4

I haven’t met a single man I would marry yet, but there’s a million guys I would want to sleep with, sure. But I’m not going to tell them that or think they’re less than human because of it. And it’s not divided into certain races like this guy said. And I’m trying not to do casual sex with anybody because as hot as they are, even with the hottest guy/best lover I’ve ever had/guy I still fantasize about things we did til this day even though it was a hundred years ago and he was always sweet and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 03:24 PM
39

This is so awful. This headline made me imagine how things would have been for me if the quarantine happened when I was a teenager living with my abuser father. Hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 06:51 AM
42

They get it. They don’t just don’t care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 06:09 AM
22

That’s probably right. “She’s good enough to fuck but not to marry. There are women you fuck and women you marry.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:10 AM
6

Totally agree. Like, you’re friends with someone because of who they are, not what they look like. But I want a romantic partner who of course loves me for who I am, but also who is wildly attracted to me physically. My last bf negged the shit out of me. Near the end I was like, “why are you even with me if you find me so unattractive?” I would never, ever tell a guy I was with I found him unattractive. I’ve dated men who gained lots of weight during the relationship. I never once commented on i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:08 AM
13

Seriously, women do this for each other all the time. If one can’t reach something, if one’s about to fall and the other sees it ahead of time, etc. Oh you can’t get that knot untied? Let me give it a try. I even remember as a little girl walking with another little girl and she randomly just dropped down and began tying my shoe before I even felt it untied.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 03:59 AM
9

It is ridiculous when the man sees the woman struggling and the woman can’t do it so she has to ask him. “Honey can you be a decent human being for a minute? Thank you 😘”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 03:55 AM
10

Looool I needed this laugh thank you 🙏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 03:51 AM
15

Ew, I don’t want to have sex with a child.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 03:45 AM
17

Omg yes. A boy in my school kept snapping girls bras at age 11/12 and when caught, the girls were forced to accept his individual crying apologies and were basically threatened by the teacher ahead of time to tell him “I forgive you.” The sad thing is I didn’t even tell on him. He must have “confessed.” I think I knew they would handle it this way and I didn’t see a point, knowing they wouldn’t have our backs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 03:42 AM
3

Watch him pretend to make things official so he can sleep with you then ghost you after
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 03:32 AM
74

God it sounds awful. My ex was one of these and I saw how he fanboyed over their female employee knowing more than him, then proceeded to mansplain to her. Then complained about me not being nerdy enough, yet got mad/critical when I had genuine interest in some of it. Whatever you’re paid it can’t be enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 03:27 AM
9

Honestly. I thought it was Nick Lachey at first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 06:12 PM
9

They think they are entitled to these women and it’s like ordering objects online
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 07:43 AM
109

What is this strange creature you speak of lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 07:35 AM
12

Oh please. THEN ASK US OUT, QUIET AMAZING TIRE SHOP GUY! ETA: It’s not our job to notice him quietly repairing our tires and then try and figure out if they’re interested and then ask them out etc etc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 11:08 PM
7

Being addicted to the high of (not even great) sex with the LVM was a huge part of going back I think. Hearing my thoughts when he would leave was too much to bear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 03:47 PM
8

Number 4 omg yes. My best was with a guy like this too. I’m usually the one knowing how people feel/what they want before they tell me but this guy seemed to know what I wanted miles ahead before I did, even down to how we would sit on the couch. Once we were dancing and my shirt started to ride up. I hated that. It happened several times and eventually he gently fixed it exactly how I wanted it every time for me. It was the craziest thing how he knew but also did it perfectly every time, but al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 01:41 PM
10

For me, if they have an inner calm you can feel sitting quietly next to them, they’ve been good. Introspective. Like, they want to touch you, but you can tell they’re ok if they don’t. Slow to anger. Also agree with other comments about playfulness. If they have some insight/intuition into your life/who you are that you don’t always notice- good in bed. #1 is desire to please you (not just do a series of moves and get mad when they don’t work). Not in an ego way but a desire to make you feel goo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 01:34 PM
6

I dated someone like this. Ticked all the boxes in the post but was selfish selfish selfish in bed. Madonna wh**e complex. I was surprised. Edit: fixed the bad word.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 01:23 PM
39

That picture looks like the “biggest risk” he’s taken.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 11:37 AM
1

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 11:30 AM
2

I’m into the science! Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 11:30 AM
1

Is it OTC? Can you link it if possible?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 11:31 PM
21

This is a thing? My god. I thought this was only like for people suddenly going off to war or something. Terrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 07:22 PM
7

Of course! Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 03:57 PM
9

Oh ya for sure. It’s just statistically they’re more likely to kill their partners than say their moms, sisters, aunts. Sometimes they can treat their female relatives “ok” but murder their partners, leading the other women in their lives to think, “but he was a good man- he couldn’t have done this.” Oh but sweetie he did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 03:57 PM
55

Omg my ex sent me 2 years later a super long apology email- no mention of getting back together, but “wanted to be in my life in some capacity.” I told him “hmm let me think and get back to you” (pre-FDS). 24 hours later he replied “waiting for your response.” He waited 2 years to email me but thought he was owed my reply ASAP!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 02:11 PM
165

Exactly. Because his wife “letting herself go” (probably didn’t happen anyway) isn’t why he cheats and he knows it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 02:07 PM
54

The question isn’t why do women stay, it’s why do men kill? And the answer, according to Why Does He Do That, is the way they think. Women, romantic partners especially (and sometimes only!) are inhuman to these men and born to serve them. So when they show human traits? Well, get rid of them. Most women know when they are in danger of being killed. They often tell family members and friends about what to do with their belongings once they die, who should take care of their kids, etc. In fact, B…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 02:04 PM
20

Says the serial killer. My friend’s bf told her she was being “critical of others” by saying she won’t walk home late at night from work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 06:24 AM
5

Don’t remind me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 03:03 AM
4

They really don’t question it! My sweet friend was talking crap about her calling her a bitch. I’m like ?! Now of course I don’t know if the baby is his or not, but I do know he doesn’t work and is still lying about why they’re moving
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 09:50 PM
47

This is helpful to me because my dad and brother spent my whole life brainwashing me with comments to each other about how women go downhill after 30.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 09:38 PM
20

I first had PIV sex at 19 and it although it was my choice, looking back I realize my BF was subtly pressuring me big time. He knew I hadn’t before. I’d ask “how long before you had sex with your exes?” He replied “6 months” which was of course around how long we’d been together. I waited longer than that but I can see how he manipulated me. No woman ever regrets waiting longer to have sex but many regret having it when they first did. I think with FDS rules vetting for several months is helpful…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 09:30 PM
12

My ex did this by pretending he knew the woman from somewhere. “She just looks so FAMILIAR!” Like every woman looked so familiar 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 07:27 AM
14

Seriously I feel like guys do this a lot. And it works. One guy I know’s wife is pregnant and has told everyone including people he barely knows that she cheated and that’s how she got pregnant and is why they are moving out. Not because he doesn’t work and didn’t pay the rent for at least a few months, right? He’s getting lots of sympathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 01:32 AM
7

Ya, MR doesn’t go immediately from retrograde to moving forward. It takes a week or sometimes more after it turns direct to really be back into “non-MR” if that makes sense
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 01:26 AM
5

The rape fantasies were too much for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 05:01 PM
3

He’s grooming you. Setting the stage. Think of the grossest things about him/men in general and picture him doing them. That helps me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 10:27 AM
3

Whatever brings you most peace. $1500 is a lot. I’ve blocked and moved on and later my anger got the best of me and I wish I’d gotten the money back. But if he’s dangerous it’s another story. Some men will breadcrumb the money to keep you on the hook “I can only pay you $100 a month.” I will say getting paid back by my one ex made it so I was able to move on more easily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 10:17 AM
12

They really do work it to the ground!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 09:54 AM
219

AND they will try and borrow money from you. Even if you make the same. Or less.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 03:27 PM
27

Zzzzz what is he even talking about. And why does the last part sound like he’s ordering in a restaurant? And why is being well-traveled some huge accomplishment. So you paid to buy a plane ticket... congrats.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 03:08 PM
11

Yes mine is actually dangerous and was everything great like yours was. Until he wasn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 02:56 PM
58

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 09:45 AM
24

I’ve only been with 1 man like this. It was very confusing because I didn’t even think he liked me that way at all. Then one day he “confessed” his feelings for me and I was in shock. But he gave no indication or flirting or anything. Well clown me had sex with him eventually and he didn’t give any pleasure at all. He acted like someone who had never, ever been with a woman in any capacity. Yet he’d had many girlfriends in the past even one he lived with. No shock he loved getting blow jobs but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 04:40 AM
3

Yes! Or even now that I think about it not even tell her at all? Or maybe she’d wanna know? Idk.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 03:57 AM
12

I don’t like that he asked you either. Like, “mom can I please just go in and say hi? I promise I won’t stay.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 01:22 AM
75

And once you turn 38 if you haven’t already, you will be so grossed out thinking about this guy being your age and trying to date 20 year old women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 01:14 AM
3

Nice username! 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 03:20 PM
6

God that is angering. If you get upset it’s “don’t you care about women’s self esteem?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 03:17 PM
13

This is like a precursor to internet flashing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 12:29 PM
24

Pull back if you want to see if he’ll step up. If he asks why, you can say you are looking for a relationship (in general, not necessarily with him). See what he does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 12:27 PM
25

It’s not selfish but it’s also not advised. I don’t think it’ll go how you want. According to FDS he needs to be the one to step up, I believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 12:04 PM
3

I’ve seen men do it too!!! Also Happened to me a couple times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 04:07 AM
29

My ex told me he did it to “increase the girls’ self esteem”. Loooool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 04:01 AM
15

Pick me therapist and friend. Their sentiment might be ok philosophically, but in reality it’s a no-go. Especially with men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 03:54 AM
3

A lot of that is because men use guns etc to commit suicide and women try using pills so are more likely to survive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 01:38 PM
37

Warning ⚠️:contains men
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 01:32 PM
15

I think sometimes if they initiate its because they have a running story that’s she’s crazy so this will support that. Or they want to get ahead of her with their financial situation/hidden assets and move things around, usually per the advice of their lawyer. Also I think sometimes he’s worried she’s about to find out something really bad about him/out him in some way. If she says something about it after divorce has been initiated, it looks more like she’s “just trying to talk bad about me bec…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:44 AM
12

That’s how I felt about lundy’s other book. I was like meh I don’t care about “why he [does] that.” I care about me not him! But I’m so glad I read it. Oh boy did that book knock me on my head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:30 AM
7

God your dad’s actions towards your mom, you, and sister make me furious. My dad is just like this with the money. It’s why my mom kept going back to my dad and they never divorced, just separated. My dad was trying to avoid alimony I suspect. Our moms suffer at the hands of our fathers and it affects the kids too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:28 AM
3

100% I plan to do this if I ever get married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:24 AM
10

Omg me too. He was always trying things and seeing what I wanted (supposedly). The one time I tell him I like something he conveniently never did it (super vanilla).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:22 AM
15

Do men not understand that women post these questions AFTER trying to talk to the person and it failing/the person being unreceptive/downright abusive? Oh I should talk to him? I HADN’T CONSIDERED THAT! 🙄🤬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:20 AM
3

Well freaking said!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:17 AM
3

Omg ew
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:17 AM
29

It’s porn that causes this IMO. Porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:13 AM
27

This is the best thing I’ve ever read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 03:06 AM
64

Male roommates are ugh. Nearly all of mine have tried to have sex with me or come into my room. One pretended he fell or something in the shower, screaming- so I would come and see him naked. Another did something similar leaving the door open showering so I’d have to walk by to get to my room. Another threw things at my door. Same guy got in my face yelling and pointing his finger at me and when I started unexpectedly crying (he was saying the meanest shit) he was like, “Ya, you cry! You cry!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 07:08 AM
8

That’s what I said, but he said he faked an orgasm then took the condom off and quickly flushed it .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 07:02 AM
18

Violation is a good word. It’s like we can’t be hurt and offended when someone violates us because “it’s technically not assault.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 06:34 AM
7

“It seems he made a big deal of you telling him not to say something to you.” This! Seems to be at its core.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 06:22 AM
32

My ex told me he faked it once with a woman. Man he really remembered it as clear as day. How many of us have had bad/faking orgasm sex so much we don’t remember each individual time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 06:17 AM
5

I like Glennon Doyle!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 05:43 PM
9

Love this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 03:10 PM
14

What a dick
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 02:58 PM
19

“As if giving you their full attention and basic respect would empower you too much.” Whew! 🤯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 02:45 PM
14

“i’M NoT sCArEd oF OtHeR MeN”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 01:48 PM
14

Omg all the papers in the box 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 06:05 AM
4

Smart, girl, smart. He was never gonna change.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 03:22 AM
2

And if they ever get with these girls (they don’t) they ruin it with them and end up devaluing them anyway
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 01:50 AM
7

I’m not pro-gun but when I hear about accidents with kids finding it in a closet or something I always wonder why the gov doesn’t go door to door giving out safes. Especially in areas where there’s lots of guns and maybe they’re unregistered (or even if they are legal). A don’t ask don’t tell policy so everybody gets a damn safe if they have a gun.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 04:22 PM
2

No. Reading here that I don’t have to disclose my sexual history to new men (in fact it’s strongly discouraged) was like mind blowing to me. You don’t have to disclose anything to anyone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 12:16 PM
1

I agree to try and have sex with him less to start. My ex moving out had me go from anytime to 0 overnight and it actually affected me very badly. I was so hooked on on sex with him even though I hated him at that point and it wasn’t even satisfying for me at all. I wish I’d tapered gradually. A daily countdown to the move out date on your phone can help with the other part. It’s like being 4 months away from graduating high school. Seems like forever but every day you are closer. You have time …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 11:26 AM
49

Look, I hated working in an office. But how could they seriously think that is anything like prostitution?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 11:20 AM
3

Omg I forgot about this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 01:28 PM
-1

What a metaphor too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 01:27 PM
1

I like this. And I agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 01:20 PM
6

Read Why Does He Do That. There’s a free pdf. It details how to leave. Don’t tell him ahead of time and maybe don’t even tell your brother til your safe. Get all your important sentimental stuff out first before he can destroy it. Get out safely first, deal with the lease stuff later.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 01:12 PM
10

I wish I’d known this years ago.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 01:10 PM
46

Blegh. Here’s this bracelet. He’s so rude, “Don’t interrupt me.” Boy if you don’t
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 01:07 PM
63

He only gets freedom because his wife will do everything for him 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 12:47 PM
5

Right? And I fell for it. Made me think they were always just about to break up/she was cheating on him/it was understood they were both dating other people/they weren’t that serious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 10:39 AM
7

Yes! First we became friends, then gave me a sob story about her (fairly new relationship anyway), then confessed his love to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 07:25 AM
14

Definitely rom-cons!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 05:53 AM
12

Your last paragraph is exactly what this one guy did to me (I was the side chick).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 05:47 AM
13

This is a great example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 05:34 AM
35

Please publish this I will so read it. Idk how you do it. My former friend (pickme) wanted to act so she was an extra. She talked me into doing jobs with her (I was broke so I said sure). I couldn’t stand it.... the environment and how men treated women (and how women treated women, like you said) and that was just being background. Soul-killing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:59 PM
10

Oh GROSS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 12:56 PM
11

I think it’s great too, but he’s bragging about it on social media :/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 12:47 PM
1

Who knows- maybe you DO have an HVM on your hands! This will only prove it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 10:16 AM
28

This is great but I think bare minimum? So many single moms make sure their kids give stuff to their dads on birthdays etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 10:14 AM
84

Ya you always hear about how “just” these dudes act in prison towards pedophiles. But like, really? Are they? And is that really out of some desire to enact justice for their victims or just a way to establish dominance/fear in a dangerous environment? Psh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 10:12 AM
3

I don’t think it’s good he told her his feelings. It’s not her job and he made it her burden. He knows it puts her in an awkward position. If he’s so distraught by his feelings for her he can tell a friend or a therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 10:03 AM
7

I think young women are easy targets for these men. I’ve known many women to say, “he’s sweet, harmless, etc. I’m just helping him out.” NOPE he’s just as dangerous as any other guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:57 AM
6

I’m 34 and have had men in their late 70’s (!) do this! At a support group for a medical condition. I was so thrilled to meet others with this same condition as it’s rare. Even one of their wives who was there for moral support acted like I was trying to steal her husband by sitting next to him asking him medical questions. That tells me he probably does this a lot. But like, c’mon!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:36 AM
5

They realize it. They like the power imbalance. They like the ego boost because only young women are considered valuable in society. Women their age are already too old in their heads. They know they can’t fuck them over as easily.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:31 AM
3

Do you guys think thickness matters too? Like length is great but if it’s not thick it’s like meh for me. Anyone else?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:13 AM
5

Same a really small one I can’t feel. And it needs to be hard enough, too. One guy I dated was big and always had erections. But wasn’t hard enough. The next was smaller than the first guy but harder. That felt better in some ways. Now I’m telling myself not to settle but to look for both
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:09 AM
1

Ya see how he handles that topic. There are examples in the resources section about how to know what he really thinks about porn without him knowing that’s what you’re asking so he can’t just tell you what you want to hear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:42 AM
8

Oh damn that sucks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:40 AM
7

Oh man what a difference in LA.. Any fat not on your butt or boobs is not “allowed” here. You gotta be skiiinnnnnyyy. Like, my bones disqualify me from that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:39 AM
1

Saaaaaaame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:35 AM
19

Hahahaha I like where you’re going with this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:34 AM
15

Whoooooaaa that’s too extreme for me. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:33 AM
29

Loool. My ex once told me “you have an attention kink- you get off easily when the attention is all on you.” LIKE BEING TOUCHED? Ya, for some highly weird reason I can only get off when someone touches me/gives me oral sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:33 AM
1

Lies lies lies. They’re not pick-me’s, just liars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:27 AM
21

Not sure if it’s the case where you live but registering your dog as an emotional support animal (letter from a doctor or therapist) may let them in places they’re not otherwise allowed. Here they can’t deny you an apartment for it. But I haven’t tried it yet
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:16 AM
11

Oh boy I’d like to take him out for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:13 AM
67

It honestly makes me wonder what the point is in having a relationship with any man. Even if he’s HVM, I have to be on the lookout all the time and never relax 100%? Ugh THAT’S too much work for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:12 AM
29

Right? 4 days in a row? Lol OK
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:09 AM
4

Ya wat does that mean?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:08 AM
19

Loooool
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 08:07 AM
8

So true. It’s so much harder to change standards AFTER you’ve already caught feelings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 07:57 AM
13

I feel like this is a very good question. I can see myself being in your situation and I think I have before. What I would tell myself is that even though I may not care now, porn use usually escalates and it’s one thing to not mind now if you don’t know, but it’s another to know about it and/or be in a relationship with someone where they’re not having sex with you and they find you unattractive. This is what always happens with porn. No one is immune. No matter how amazing he is now, porn will…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 07:47 AM
1

Oh yes such a pet peeve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 03:46 PM
3

Yes! I know a guy who does this constantly on Facebook. And people are like, “wow, I never thought of that!” “Where do you come up with these gems?” Lol please. And he never corrects them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 01:11 PM
25

I don’t understand this either! I have this theory that that don’t want to actually let us experience that deep pleasure. They like the idea of being the one getting us off but in reality they hate to see us get it. It’s too selfless even if it’s just continuing to do what feels good for someone until they orgasm. The attention is away entirely from them even for a brief moment and they hate that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 04:35 AM
7

I think I’ve seen this before so he probably didn’t even make it up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 08:40 AM
8

Omg I think I had a guy do that address thing. I just thought he was stupid. I can’t remember if he came to me or I went to him after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 07:26 AM
2

Agreed!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 02:22 AM
5

I don’t think they are- I think they just choose to do that stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 07:28 PM
24

Here you go: 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 07:14 PM
7

Also I’m picturing your roommate lecturing the cat like 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 07:11 PM
4

Exactly what I was thinking!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 07:09 PM
23

Right? Like we aren’t depressed too? And we don’t do that to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 07:08 PM
26

I haven’t gone through what you have but I don’t feel sorry for them either. We’re taught that bullies are so hurt inside and deserve so much empathy but imo it couldn’t be further than the truth. Very short guys haven’t been a problem to me but ones an inch or 2 shorter/taller or around my same height have been total dicks. Acting like I’m some freak and manly. They’re always complaining about not getting dates but hello if youre anasshole and a bully of course you’re not getting dates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 07:06 PM
5

100% agree with everything you said 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 06:53 PM
26

Has anyone here ever been blackout drunk? Has anyone here ever cheated on their SO when they were? I just feel like this is predominantly a male thing to blame cheating on being blackout drunk. I’ve been this drunk. I was single but I wasn’t trying to have sex with people. I was slumped in a corner apparently for most of it. I know everyone reacts differently. But why do we never hear of tons of women cheating on men when they are blackout drunk like men do? I rest my case 👩🏽‍⚖️lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 06:13 PM
77

It’s weird you say that cause recently too I’ve had 2 friends tell me their bf’s aren’t having sex with them and they’re like “wtf.” One friend said 2 months, another said 10 months! And they both live with their bf’s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 05:38 PM
42

Yes. I used to think this 6 month thing was inevitable. After reading the stuff here now I look back and really see the red flags that indicated a LVM earlier on during the “honey moon” phase. It becomes much clearer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 03:49 PM
4

How do you like hypnosis so far? I’m in therapy too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 03:36 PM
16

pours one out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 02:28 PM
8

Yes and then since you were never their “girlfriend” when you describe to others what happened you feel like you can’t call him your boyfriend/ex boyfriend. After awhile my friend was all “it was a relationship! just call it a relationship!” cause I would try and tell her something about what happened and would start the story with “ok, so you know when he and I were like, in a thing, you know, like, not together but like... he and I were.. uhh..”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 02:21 PM
14

Just down the block... pleeeeease eff me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 07:39 AM
4

Go to a free legal help desk at your country’s court. Read Why Does He Do That (there’s a free pdf online).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 02:26 AM
42

Yes, many treat their romantic partners terribly but other women ok. It’s explained why in Why Does He Do That
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 02:19 AM
90

Means he’s a dick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 02:11 AM
543

We hang out outside of sex, we have dinner, breakfast, have sex 3 times a week, sleepovers, and are friends but she is NOT my girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 09:37 PM
10

Pretty much 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 04:10 AM
23

Preach
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 04:03 AM
12

Good for you! When I was a teenager a boy I liked did the same thing. He had poems at the ready for me ASAP when we started dating. Probably recycled them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 04:01 AM
33

It’s worked for them before usually so they never stop trying it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 03:58 AM
32

Ya if he didn’t have a wife raising his kids for him he’d so loaded. Cause kids are so cheap when no one is around to raise them for you 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 03:54 AM
25

Yes! My N dad demanded this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 03:52 AM
6

Is he trolling?! 🗑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 08:51 PM
6

😑😑😑😑😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 08:49 PM
34

Maybe he can sign one over to you for free 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 08:10 PM
16

I’ve gotten that once I think- when I was 16 and an adult man was being weird around me and my (also young) bf in a community jacuzzi. I think in that case it was a weird sexual thing? As if to say “ya, you should screw that underage girl!” to my bf or something? But I don’t know?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 08:05 PM
2

Oh wow, I had no idea. It’s sounds so different. Especially about the lubrication problem and your last sentence. Well now I want to try it! Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 07:39 PM
26

Although it’s certainly an everyday phenomenon 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 07:36 PM
7

I couldn’t at the time based on where I was situated with the cars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 07:32 PM
9

Poignant and powerful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 07:29 PM
83

It’s such a good term. I haven’t gotten to the point where it comes out but I’ve started thinking it whenever I see long term couples w/no marriage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 06:15 PM
7

Hahahaha!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 06:13 PM
6

I’ve never seen one IRL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:59 PM
7

How does it feel better? If you don’t want to get graphic because of male lurkers I understand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:58 PM
39

Good for you. Sometimes I flip them off. Although one time I got followed afterward (a car of 4 men- I was also driving) so maybe don’t do what I did lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:56 PM
10

Oh ya I agree. That’s why we shouldn’t date LVM’s who will pay for dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 04:18 PM
3

Can I ask what was wrong that he had to go to the ER? Just curious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 03:55 PM
31

Yes but they will definitely be keeping a tally and when they look at your side they’ll get mad if you haven’t given them sex pretty quickly. They may pay but they resent every dollar that doesn’t lead to them getting laid (IMO).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 03:40 PM
42

Romantic 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 03:37 PM
3

Thank you! You experienced this too? That makes me feel better that I’m not the only one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 06:13 AM
9

Hey now don’t insult animals that way! 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 03:28 AM
1

Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 03:27 AM
28

A man said this to me too! “What does it feel like to want to have a baby so bad?” I was like “... what?” He said it again. I told him I don’t want one. He said deep down all women do. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 12:15 PM
27

This is such BS. Bit of a rant: I didn’t learn household chores as a kid because I had narcissistic parents who wouldn’t let me do anything- I “never did it right” so I’d get yelled at, told how dumb I was, etc. if I tried. They literally wouldn’t allow me in the kitchen, laundry area, etc. My laundry, food, etc. was at their mercy and when they felt like it. So if they didn’t, I just didn’t have what I needed. Then they complained to their friends what a princess I was and how I never helped. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:53 AM
18

Just thought of another. My dad gave me a card and some money for my birthday. He told me to open it right then. But we were heading out the door so I said I’d open it later. He said, “ok well I’m putting it RIGHT HERE” and showed me the spot on the table in a majorly exaggerated way. I was like uh, ok. “It’s got x money in it so don’t lose it.” Normally this wouldn’t be anything unusual but his tone was condescending. The unspoken part was, “You know, like you do. You lose things. You’re carele…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:37 AM
26

My ex said this too. He’d also reply with “don’t hurt yourself hur dur hur” when I said “I’m thinking.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:30 AM
23

“You like, you’re choosing, you’re listening to/watching, doing x? Oh, ok. That’s... interesting/different/odd/weird/dumb/stupid, but ok.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:28 AM
26

Him: “Your ____ is so beautiful.” You: “Thanks! You know sometimes I wish it were ___, but generally I’m happy with it.” Him: “It’s amazing. You would look better with ______, but wow, it’s gorgeous.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:26 AM
10

Animals?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:22 AM
5

He needs to learn what a period is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:22 AM
20

“I ain’t got no car to take you on a date” lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:20 AM
-1

This is such a great question you posed here. Unique and important.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 10:49 AM
5

Kind of a ramble, but I dated a guy like this (maybe much worse than this lol) and we could barely have a conversation via text or email. He used words incorrectly so often (and many times they were the opposite of what he was trying to say). He’d make business social media posts that were confusing and odd: “Come to mEeTINg Friday eveyonnne we did it soft!” There’d be no details and no one understood him. English was his first and only language. Ironically, he negged me once when I texted a cou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 04:13 AM
10

Like all teachers aren’t busy? And like 90% are women. Get out of here with that “I’m quite a busy man”, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:46 AM
8

Right? Like “of course I meant flaky you dumb ass.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:43 AM
14

STOP 😂🤣😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:42 AM
10

Looooollll
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:41 AM
15

I like how he’s trying to reject you after you rejected him lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:41 AM
12

100% girl, good for you. I know it hurts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:40 AM
16

Ew I don’t like this. Men taking their shirts off in public or semi public bothers me in general cause it’s such a double standard (not that I want to take mine off, but like if I did I’d get arrested and he wouldn’t and that makes me upset). Like someone else said, they’re saying “look at me.” At BEST it’s thoughtless/dense about how he’s making women comfortable. Unless you’re walking through the desert dying of thirst, don’t do it. Especially when other women are around and in his mom’s home …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:36 AM
7

Unless your gut says go, maybe wait until you’re in a relationship for this. It’s very relationship-y. Presumably he’ll have more games. And then you can bring a friend or something so you’re not totally bored. Or you’ll know his friends by then and you can hang with them. Cause if he’s LV, maybe he asks women early a lot to see him play, you won’t know. Maybe it’s an ego boost for him “ya this chick is in the stands for me this week, another one next week.” I had a guy ask me to watch his game …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:22 AM
17

And oftentimes if they see the children as their wive’s problem, they’ll treat them poorly because they’re not his to deal with, but hers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:13 AM
13

Omg🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 06:19 PM
26

Exactly! I took a psych of human sexuality class in my first year of college- real basic physical stuff about sex. I knew more about my ex’s body than he did. Like, and after just being in a relationship with a person of the opposite sex for a period of time one should know these things. Once my dad and I were talking about genetics and he didn’t even know the basics of pregnancy or even conception really- yikes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 06:09 PM
16

I feel like they’re getting better at this now and know how to lie. They know saying they’re ex is crazy makes them look bad. I’ve had guys give vague, conflicting answers as to why it didn’t work out. Other guys will try and make themselves sound empathetic towards the ex “She hated herself. She had low self esteem. I feel bad for her.” One guy told me his ex “stopped being affectionate” with him and “wouldn’t talk about it” so he had no choice but to break up. He thought it made him sound not …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 04:55 PM
0

Ya of course. I was surprised to see him react like that to someone disagreeing with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 12:25 PM
8

Wow, you’re lucky. Mine has ruined my life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 11:54 AM
9

I watched his videos religiously and still 100% endorse the messages. But like last year there was some screen shot going around of him calling a woman a “prostitute” online like a bunch of times in a rows.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 11:39 AM
5

IME an LVM will make you sicker and won’t be there for you anyway. So there’s no choice but HVM. A HV friend would be there, so a HVM should be too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 01:07 AM
13

My dad always leaves it down. And guess what? He’s an asshole! My ex always left it up. Tried to argue with me too. Like, bro, not only is it basic manners, it’s basic math! He needs it down, what, 25% of the time or more? And I need it down 100% of the time. Average those times and you get LEAVING IT DOWN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 01:53 AM
17

My ex was allllll talkative about how I was his ideal type. “Always wanted someone with x, y, z like you.” Slowly but surely that seemed to not be true based on his actions, porn use, mentionitis of other women. Yet he never dates or asks out his supposed ideal type (even after we broke up) so idk wtf is up with him. He was not my “type” but I managed to never do that shit to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 01:41 AM
20

I hate this too cause what if I want to look at cabins in public or at a job and someone walks by and sees “porn?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 01:33 AM
74

WHAT. Omg what a loser
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 02:18 PM
18

WOW
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 02:17 PM
9

I think a lot of them believe all women are dying to have children ASAP and if they say they don’t want kids no one will sleep with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 03:05 AM
4

Yes all the time! Men act genuinely shocked when I tell them my height. Like bro the tape measure doesn’t lie
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 03:04 AM
5

Also firefighters. I couldn’t believe the audacity of the ones I knew flirting and everyone knew they were married!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 02:58 AM
5

Well said! I’m sure you’ve thought about the “we don’t have to take our clothes off song” applying to this.. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 02:41 AM
11

Well said it’s an alternate dimension. I don’t even exist anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 09:15 PM
1

Omg, I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:06 PM
8

😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:52 PM
21

But mainly it’s because they’re fathers treat their mothers that way. These men can treat their coworkers, friends, mothers, sisters, etc. well and their girlfriends/wives/romantic interests like total shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:48 PM
46

Right? The best I ever had was a guy I met at 16. We didn’t have PIV sex then. But we did later in early 20’s. I’ve had several men since then. How was this one guy better at 17 than the men in their 30’s I’ve dated since then?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:38 PM
14

Yes. My dad is so guilty of this. He put off a simple procedure for 2 years. Luckily he got away with it and when I went with him to get it done it hadn’t gotten any worse. I’m planning on using resources to get him help in his old age because I can’t be taking care of him when he’s sick because he didn’t take care of himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:24 PM
34

Totally agree. The person who ends up sacrificing is usually us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:11 PM
18

Such great advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 05:10 PM
16

I had a guy sleeping with 3+ people. I was only sleeping with him. He got an std. Called to tell me about it. Guess who’s fault he thought it was? I learned in that call that this was the SECOND TIME he’d had that std (at least once before we met). And he STILL was trying to not use a condom. Thankfully I didn’t have it. I was like boy do you wanna die?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 03:22 PM
10

Keep all his texts or take screenshots. Will be crucial if you want a restraining order at some point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 09:51 AM
4

It was in the U.S., but we’re not in a gun-toting state and his were supposedly unloaded, in the closest and never used. He didn’t even own bullets. It’s very unusual to have a gun here. I didn’t grow up around guns and no one I knew had one. Hardly the wild Wild West that’s portrayed on tv lol. No school shootings back then though. I’d known him 10 years before this and he’d never brought it out/gone to a shooting range or anything. He was briefly in the military and used that as a reason for h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 08:00 AM
2

I’m not a fan. He tells women to dress in an entirely different style every day so men “don’t get used to seeing you one way and can fantasize about you as different looking women” or something to that effect. Barf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:46 AM
2

Ya, most could. They have a choice to be HVM just like they choose to be LVM. But most don’t because they don’t have to/they were raised by their fathers to treat their romantic partners like shit. They don’t have a ton of immediate consequences so they don’t change. And the ones raised to be LVM believe they are entitled to women and that mindset automatically makes them LVM. Only they can change how they think. Unfortunately the entire world supports their view.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:44 AM
8

Yes! Why I stopped wearing VS underwear and now only wear MeUndies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:33 AM
18

Lol “good luck finding one”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:30 AM
20

My dad, also a narc, said my mom has bpd too. How weird. Maybe my mom did? She wasn’t healthy mentally. But she CERTAINLY never did half the shit my dad did!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:23 AM
12

All these articles and no journalist wants to read Why Does He Do That? Answers all the questions there. Lundy Bancroft should be the #1 sought out commentator for this and yet his work is never covered in the mainstream.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:12 AM
58

Excellent post. Hey, I’m shy too, but you better believe when my favorite singer was having a small, solo show near me (like 10 years ago) I dressed to the nines, waited in line with my friend, and when he came to say hi to people waiting we were very talkative and he spent time talking with us and taking pics. Shy until it’s the person you want!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:07 AM
42

No, she’s saying you may never know who a man is until they show you their true colors, which could be years down the line. That’s why we need to have a strong support system and financial independence in case he does become abusive. The “long con” used by OP is the perfect phrase here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:02 AM
7

Preach!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 07:00 AM
10

Ya, I tried all that but got tired of stepping around his shit and there was only 1 bathroom so I’d have to use the toilet. And I got tired of having to revoke privileges and all that like he was some 12 year old boy. And he didn’t care about sex any way cause he had porn so who cares! The only solution was to silently plot my way out so that he could move out and I could afford the apartment on my own (what I wanted). Suddenly he became all civil and agreed “it wasn’t working” either. Ya, like …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:49 AM
4

Ah yes I commented before I saw yours. 100% agree with everything you said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:40 AM
9

Sometimes staying over at his place/him at yours/holidays etc. isn’t enough to suss them out. Lots of them, yes, but not all. There’s something different about living with a man and they know it. They take advantage of it. I like the previous commenter’s idea to have him move in to her place or she moves into his place. Whatever works so it’s the most convenient for her in case she wants out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:39 AM
23

They make this turn when they know it’s harder for us to leave. Just signed a lease? Great, now he will fuck up. Obviously having a fuck off fund is essential, but many of us moved in with guys pre FDS and weren’t well off enough off to have one. These guys go crazy once the ink is dry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:35 AM
24

I think they use this because if she’s not happy with the outcome, it’ll be on her. “You didn’t communicate. Oh you did? Well then you didn’t do it well enough. You need to keep explaining explaining explaining until he gets it. It’s on you. How he treats you is on you.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 01:41 PM
14

The difference is that you may have sought it out on your own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 10:25 AM
50

Bothers me that the advice is always to talk about it, as if these men are soooo easy/warm/loving/understanding/empathetic to talk to about how they hurt you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 09:50 AM
3

It worked great when we had sex, but anything else he wasn’t into/couldn’t feel. Was also erect and I thought it was fine. UNTIL I slept with someone else whose was suuuper hard. Second didn’t watch porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:21 AM
10

He’s just gonna skip the part about having sex with someone else huh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:12 AM
19

OMg I love this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:05 AM
3

You’re right about the guys who don’t masturbate too. I think that’s important! Can’t be hard for sex if you’re masturbating constantly,even if there’s no porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:01 AM
5

Yes! And some actually like oral sex. My porn ex hated it because he said he couldn’t feel anything (shocker). Made me feel like I was bad at it or something. Porn-free guy (and others) said the opposite and wanted it all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 04:00 AM
3

I personally think she did cause of that trendy Christian cult “Hillsong” they’re in. I think they were having sex and that weird pastor guy told them you better get married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 06:29 PM
35

So true. My ex of years was normal I thought. No problems getting it up. Then we broke up and I was with someone who (I’m pretty sure) didn’t watch it. Surprise surprise he was wayyyyyy harder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 06:15 PM
153

What about the guy who changes the second you move in together? My ex was the cleanest/most organized person I knew. He enjoyed organizing things for himself and other people. He’d even have me over for a Saturday for me to chill on his bed/eat/talk/watch movies while he excitedly reorganized his closet. He was literally so happy doing things like this (Virgo lol). Within weeks of moving in together he did a 180. Quit his job, refused to do any cleaning etc, sat on his ass playing video games al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 06:08 PM
4

Haha ya, that’s for sure a possibility. I never trust the “exhaustion” hospital claims. Although I’ve had people think I was a drug user cause of my weight loss/face changes. But I am not! Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:57 PM
2

This was my ex (when I was like 19) favorite movie. I’ve never seen it but boy that was probably a glaring red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 06:37 AM
6

Hate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 06:34 AM
3

lol you are so funny 😂 💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 06:33 AM
12

He might be. But he also has Lyme or something similar making his face more sunken in like that. I’ve lost tons in my cheeks like that from some illness- not sure what yet. He might also be a drug addict too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 06:16 AM
11

A LVM potential mate will likely be a LVM friend. Especially if he’s pornsick like you describe. He won’t see you as a real person. You can have as much contact as you like for reasons that benefit you, but if there are none, you might consider stepping away. Always be safe too. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:11 AM
30

Yes, apparently it’s the father/father figure who teaches (consciously or unconsciously) them how to treat women (specifically, their romantic partners) and mothers have little to no influence on that part of their development, per Lundy Bancroft.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 01:52 PM
103

Or his wife will have pics of her, him, and the kids all over her FB and he’ll have a pic of a guitar for his background pic and the profile pic is of him staring off into the distance “contemplating life.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 06:16 AM
3

I just sat down to eat buttered toast and saw a notification with your username lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:59 PM
2

Ya honestly that crossed my mind too. I wish I could figure it out for certain. Does he think he’s some mythological millionaire football star that is a huge “target” for this? Lol What it did was backfire and make me go “uh oh more red flags!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:13 PM
1

Not just that but false pregnancy claims are uncommon, contrary to myths in popular culture. I wonder if my dude was lying to me about them even saying/being pregnant to discourage me from telling him if I was or some bs? The audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:01 PM
2

Omg I remember teachers doing this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 01:52 PM
3

It’s possible. Or he knew/encouraged them to get abortions. I think it’s uncommon for women to lie about abortions to their partners, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 01:44 PM
26

Dooo iiiitttt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 12:12 PM
107

Sometimes I’m convinced they ask what we want just to give us the opposite of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:08 AM
90

Yes! Easy way to try and excuse it as “immaturity.” Uh, no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 10:05 AM
17

Women who marry rich men really do end up earning every single penny. Whew if that ain’t the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 07:37 AM
11

Painful because it hurts being used.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 07:10 AM
6

Honestly! He told me there were 2 woman in the past who “lied about pregnancy.” I’m sure 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 07:09 AM
19

Disgusting!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:15 AM
12

Fucking terrifying you’re right. You’re making realize how much of a bullet I dodged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:12 AM
40

Yes!!! You see the gaslighting about this so much in professional psychology- you’re right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:10 AM
2

I feel uncomfortable when my romantic partners are much taller than me. Subconsciously it’s like they could overpower me if they wanted and it makes me uncomfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:06 AM
3

Liars! They pretend we don’t want them cause they’re short but they know it’s because they’re liars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:05 AM
2

Yes! Those the same height as us of slightly above are the most insecure about it, IME. I always look at a man’s past gf’s and if they’re all significantly smaller/shorter than him (unless he’s 6’8 or something and everyone else is shorter- but even then sometimes these really tall dudes are freaks and try and find the smallest women alive) I see red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:04 AM
6

Sometimes I think “I don’t discuss politics or religion” is code for (in white people or men) “I’d like to be racist/sexist without being held accountable.” I’ve heard people cut others off with “I don’t discuss politics” when the other person brings up something like human rights or immigration trafficking or something like that. Like, to me, that stuff isn’t “political” it’s a human rights crisis. Like when people say “race relations” instead of racism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:01 AM
22

Yes! I didn’t think this was a thing until I “dated” someone like this a few years ago. He never wanted to be safe and once near the end of our “situation” I told him how irresponsible he and asked rhetorically what he’d do if I had gotten pregnant. He said “I would step up!” I’m like, you really think I’d have a child with your loser ass when we’re not even exclusive and you treat me like shit? Later I learned he actually WANTED me to get pregnant! Why don’t we hear more about these men who act…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:55 AM
27

“Popular advice always runs contrary to women’s best interests.” Yes!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:50 AM
8

And even if she did, it’s because her body is capable that, not necessarily because he’s some amazing lover.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:45 AM
19

This is so painful but needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:43 AM
5

He wants to sleep (or try to) with someone else and guarantee ahead of time that he’ll have you back when he’s done sleeping with the other person (people)/if he can’t find anyone else who will. He wants out? Give it to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:41 AM
29

“You’re the first person to answer like that.” Why do me men always do this? I pointed out to a man once that the way he wanted me to do something regarding a website wasn’t working. “No one ELSE has EVER told me they can’t access it!!!” Well maybe it’s because you’re an asshole and they didn’t want to deal with your wrath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:37 AM
12

I agree. My narc ex once told everyone he had a possible brain tumor for sympathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:32 AM
14

Yes!!! They say if he’s telling you in the beginning “you’re not like other women”, he’ll be telling you at the end “you’re just like all those other women!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:30 AM
4

“ LVM manipulation causes pickme behavior.” Yes!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:27 AM
25

I hate when they do that. I can’t remember the situations but men have “assigned” me to others and activities in the past too. Yikes, can’t dine alone with a woman even for her literal job? He should have ASKED you! What if you didn’t want her there? “Hey I can’t make it now. Monica is available- want me to ask her if she can go?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:21 AM
73

Yes they absolutely do. They do it poorly to try and make you re-do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:14 AM
75

A chore wheel?? 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:13 AM
33

This reminds me of when I’d walk slowly on purpose to escape my abusive dad as a teenager when he was in a rage or manic state when we were out in public. He’d stride ahead and his attitude was like “ugh! Fine I’ll do it myself!” because I was too slow for him (on purpose) and I got a break from his crap cause I knew he wouldn’t lose it on me in front of others. Men who do this are just so disrespectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:08 AM
25

Women are visual too. They just like to feel powerful by making us feel scared. If we responded by trying to have sex with them after a pic, they wouldn’t know what to do with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 02:02 AM
58

What a dick. But if you hadn’t done those things he’d be complaining. They know that their benefitting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 01:58 AM
3

Catcalling is harassment not flirting anyway. And ugh weirdos are gross. Nothing you wear or do makes harassers harass women. They choose to. I think it’s ok to talk to men platonically. We gotta have conversations in the world right? 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 01:56 AM
3

I’m newer to FDS but I don’t think you are “supposed” to go up to men and say hello. If they talk to you and you have a conversation that’s one thing but you don’t approach men in FDS so it’s ok that you’re shy and/or alone when you go out. Obviously don’t actively make yourself unavailable (like headphones in a coffee shop or talking on the phone ) if you’re out and see a man you’re interested in, but you don’t have to get up the guts to approach him. Let him say hi to you. And if he doesn’t, y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:57 PM
3

This is so accurate haha.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:49 PM
39

Not worth it girl. You can have both!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:45 PM
2

Because “how dare you break up with him/demand better treatment/whatever” is his mentality. “I’ll show her!” My ex moved states and started using my phone number for store rewards card. I got notifications like “thanks for choosing XYZ in [new state]!” Also one I logged in and could see all the purchases. Luckily there wasn’t any mean like condoms or something, but it was def a passive aggressive way to try and fuck with me, I bet he thought. Because when you tell other people they might say, “O…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:31 PM
3

Bleghhhh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:24 PM
11

Ghost and block him cold turkey. These feelings only get worse. It becomes not worth the “thrill” of hooking up/getting his attention anymore. It’s like diminishing returns. As you probably are already feeling, it will kill your soul. It just feels SO bad to watch someone you have sex with go with someone else. It’s always a losing situation psychologically and sometimes physically: std’s, pregnancy, abortion, etc. Sometime we don’t know wrong these FWB situations are for us until the guy does s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:14 PM
18

I of course don’t want to generalize, but lots of women who think this way usually have husbands who think the same way. Your bf might be embarrassed by his mom telling you this stuff because he’s a similar age to you and knows this isn’t “cool” anymore. But this kind of thinking is passed down from father son, per Why Does He Do That. It’s very deeply ingrained and hard to change, like most things we’re used to growing up. Your bf’s mother’s father likely expected/required the same treatment fr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 11:59 AM
8

Hahaha right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:13 PM
4

100% on purpose to fuck with you. Eviiil.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:08 PM
38

Gross. Good for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:35 PM
1

Calling me an “idiot” is inappropriate. It’s not fraud. I’m advising her to protect herself. If it’s both their property, her name should be on it too. It will only help her, it’s legal, and it won’t hurt him. Why are you discouraging that? Recording someone who is threatening you and turning it into the police is not fraud. You make it sound so easy- just file for divorce and you’ll get everything you’re entitled to. If that’s the case, why are so many women struggling financially after divorce…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:29 PM
2

It’s not fraud. I’m advising her to protect herself. If it’s both their property, her name should be on it.m too. Why are you discouraging that? Recording someone who is threatening you and turning it into the police is not fraud. You make it sound so easy- just file for divorce and you’ll get everything you’re entitled to. If that’s the case, why are so many women struggling financially after divorce? Many also had full-time jobs at the time of divorce and still end up homeless or financially w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:24 PM
3

I just wanted to add he is not smarter than you. Him having a degree or full-time job or supposedly knowing how to do banking shit does not mean anything. Men like this like to try and use this to make you feel smaller and dumber than them so you think you won’t survive if you leave. Having kids and living in the world already gives you a ton of experience with life and managing things. Plus you’re a woman and like someone else said, are smart and resourceful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:15 PM
2

Ok ya. Just record everything and if you don’t use it, you don’t use it. Texas is highly conservative when it comes to marriages compared to many other states, i.e. sexist and possibly a good ole boys club. I’m in a FB group which happens to have many female lawyers. I’ll DM you the name and you can join, if you like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:03 PM
3

No problem. If you don’t have time to get it all copied or even in a safe place ASAP. Maybe go through some and take pics with your phone, like several photos in one pic. It’s something you can do today, for example. I don’t know your (soon to be ex) husband, but moving a few photo albums to start may not be something he’ll notice. These guys often go off the rails. Irreplaceable stuff has got to be saved first. Food, clothes, etc. can all be replaced. Paperwork is meh. Social sec card and birth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 12:53 PM
1

That’s false. Some states are not community property states and will not split everything 50/50. In some cases, the litigants have to prove what is his and what is hers. Receipts, car titles, etc. are used as evidence. If she lives in one of these states and wants a chance at keeping her car post-divorce, she’ll need to be on the title/lease. There’s no downside to getting her name on things she wants to keep. Leaving safely and doing this are not mutually exclusive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 12:41 PM
13

Different positions feel different, but I never can get there without oral sex or outside stimulation. It never even comes close otherwise. It feels good, neutral, or nothing. Sometimes it’s felt good and then starts to hurt instead of getting closer to orgasm, even if nothing has changed. That one time I felt I was on the path was when he was (sorry if TMI) fingering me in a very specific way. Literally vibrating his fingers quickly. It felt like if I got there, the orgasm would be much differe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:25 AM
122

“how can I tell a practical stranger that I want to have sex with them without being creepy?” You can’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:18 AM
18

Lots of recording/audio engineering bros. I second firefighters. I’ve known 100’s and like 1/200 wasn’t a cheater. Sometimes construction guys. Yoga instructors? The list goes on lol. Male teachers are usually either ego maniacs or creeps. Lawyers? Surgeons. Lots and lots in IT too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:16 AM
5

They really are!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 06:08 AM
1

If your names on it he can’t take it. If both names are on it you may be entitled to half, even if he says you’re not. It largely depends on the state. In community property states everything is 50/50. Although I would imagine if you’re not and it’s your car too, having your name on it might still help. Maybe call and add yourself to make sure? Have a male relative you trust pretend to be him and do it? Either don’t tell him or make something up like you got pulled over and they gave you crap fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:58 AM
3

And maybe get a cheap cell phone and plan for calls with the lawyer etc. (mint mobile is $15 a month).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:50 AM
7

When you finally tell him, have someone else take the kids for the day ahead of time and tell him in public or have a lawyer do it and arrange to be away from for a while. I like your idea of taking out cash and storing it somewhere (preferably on a prepaid card or something and hidden somewhere). I read a book about a woman leaving her husband and she saved little by little and didn’t spend the allowance he gave her but made it look like she did. She would do things like slowly cut back meds or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:48 AM
4

I don’t have kids so I know it’s different and more difficult than without. But props to you for meeting secretly with a lawyer. Maybe a woman would be best if you can get one. Everything should be in secret. Anything of sentimental value, take it or make copies without him noticing and put it in a storage unit. Read “why does he do that” if you haven’t already. Lots of divorce stuff in there if I recall correctly. Good job/good luck! Also, everything about the “world” you will learn. There are …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:37 AM
7

Ugh!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 05:33 AM
46

Honestly this brainwashing is part of why I haven’t pursued something in the music industry (along with my family telling me how impractical it is and that no one ever makes money from doing something creative). Cut to me hearing from a childhood friend after years and years and bam! She’s doing what I wish I was. We are not 25. Made me realize maybe just maybe I could too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:29 AM
6

Wow a threat on Valentine’s Day! These are cool, keep em coming OP!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:49 AM
12

Exactly. When I was very slender and a man would compliment that, I was instantly turned off. So you wouldn’t like me if I gained weight? No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:47 AM
4

Omg.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:44 AM
5

Right? Did he kill her?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:44 AM
1

RoMaNtIc. I know these are kids in the photo, but I’ve noticed people from this time period used it as adults. My grandpa called my grandma this but idk if it was the other way around. Was it just men? Seems pedophilic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:42 AM
7

Yikes this is scary. Literal babies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:41 AM
5

Honestly these sales are catered to them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:40 AM
4

I used to love her show. Does she still do anything similar, does anyone know?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:39 AM
6

Omg that is terrible!! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:30 AM
45

So far I’ve only been able to with direct stimulation, but the one time I was close to having a g spot orgasm was with a guy I was SUPER into (like beyond) and he was so, so good at everything (was using his fingers). I didn’t know it g-spot was a thing then or that my body might be able to do that. Unfortunately he stopped and I was too afraid to tell him to keep going. I know they say 80% of women can’t have vaginal orgasms and need clitoral stimulation and I believe that. But I also think man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:22 AM
39

I think it’s getting more common but ya I doubt 99% of these dudes saying they have them are. My former FWB said he had one and I believe him. He said it was not what expected at all: a lot of work cause they didn’t want to touch each other so it was like he was “just trying to work 2 girls”. You mean it wasn’t like porn dropped out of the sky and landed in your lap? At the time I just thought, “Wow. Ok.” I think back now to how uncomfortable those women must have been and feel bad for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:16 AM
36

I was outside of a Sees Candies today and saw the same thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 03:01 AM
5

Oh yes that staring! I did it too. He would stare back and smile back at me but like there was no light in his eyes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:57 AM
15

Wow well said.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 02:04 AM
13

My ex was like this. It was as if someone had told him “ask the girl lots of questions about herself” and he was following a literal script of how to have a conversation with a woman. And he didn’t know what to do after that. His conversations with men were more normal, but still sometimes off. It was like he had a to do list: “message girlfriend, check, take out trash, check.” I didn’t like it and felt like you did after a while. In the relationship itself it was super lonely. And you better be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 01:52 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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