I’m not sure how to explain this but I’m gonna try.

Ever since I was a young teenager, my father would “point out” his observation of what he perceived to be men hitting on me. If a male server came to ask if I wanted a drink refill, my dad would smile and say “he didn’t ask me for one” after the server walked away, even if my dad didn’t have a drink to refill. I’d be like “huh?” and my dad would “explain” playfully that the sever was into me. He’s wasn’t mad or upset at the server or me. But he seemed to “point out” what he claims was “special attention.” Except, it wasn’t.

He did this a lot, mainly in situations that were innocuous and where the man actually wasn’t showing any interest in me or paying special attention. These were just male employees doing the bare minimum at their jobs. For example, we could be in a grocery store and I would ask an employee where something was and the man would point and say “aisle 7.” I’d say thanks and the employee would walk away. If my dad was with me, he’d “point out” later that the man was hitting on me (he wasn’t). He wasn’t looking me up and down, didn’t make any conversation or even stay longer than the 2 seconds it took to answer my question. He didn’t even smile. He actually seemed disinterested if anything. Yet my dad will believe he saw something I didn’t. I get that sometimes men are flirting and women don’t realize it, but these were situations where that truly wasn’t happening.

The other day, I went through a drive-through Starbucks for the first time since the lockdown. The line was super long so I was there a while. Maybe others were going there for the first time in a while too. When I went go to the window to pay, the cashier said, “The person in front of you paid for you.” I said, “Really?!” And she said “Ya.” She smiled but she hardly seemed super shocked as if she had never seen a customer do that before. It was so sweet. I’ve heard of people doing that to “pay it forward” but had never experienced it. It made my whole day. I don’t know who it was since they had already left, but I’m pretty sure I remember most cars in line being women or women with kids. I don’t think it was someone I know but there’s that possibility too. Although no one texted me later or anything. It was so sweet and like I said, made my day.

My dad loves Starbucks and I tried calling him to get his order before I went through but he didn’t answer. After I left, he called me back and I told him about the nice thing someone did. He immediately said, “Some man was trying to get your number!” and went on and on. He made an innocent, nice gesture by a total stranger (and likely a woman) into that weird thing he did when I was younger about it being a man hitting on me. I tried explaining to him about the pay it forward thing people sometimes do at Starbucks etc. but he didn’t believe me.

I’m not clueless- I can tell when men are hitting on me and when they’re not. What’s with my dad? Is he jealous of what he perceives as preferential treatment? My dad has never been sexually inappropriate with me or anything like that thank god. But what is with this weird thing where he thinks any man acknowledging me, even literal severs taking my order or an employee answering a question I have in a store as them flirting? There have even been a few times where the man was gay and my dad still claimed the man was giving me “extra attention.”

But the times when a man is actually hitting on me or giving me special treatment and my dad is there, my dad doesn’t notice it- or if he does, he doesn’t say anything to me. He acts like nothing happened. He seems to genuinely not notice it even when it’s obvious.

My dad is not a “shotgun at the door when your date arrives” type, so I don’t think it’s one of those situations where the dad is all weird about “protecting” their daughter’s sexuality or something like that.

And he’s not into men as far as I know, so I don’t think he wishes the men were hitting on him (not that they are hitting on anyone). Or does he?

Just wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has insight into why my dad sees things that aren’t happening and why he either seems amused by it or jealous (can’t find a better word) of it, even though it’s not happening?

Edit: I’m an adult and don’t live with my father.