Just wanted to share a personal story, in the hopes that it'll resonate with someone, and to serve as a cautionary tale why you should NEVER give a LVM a chance. Don't make the same mistake I did! They won't appreciate you, anyway.

A new temp coworker started at my place of employment in the summer of 2019. Physically disabled, but cute and my age. Never paid him much attention until he started flirting with me and asking me out in the late summer. At first I refused, because I wasn't interested and I had a boyfriend at the time (which he knew about). He still heavily pursued me, being extremely complimentary and persistent. Calling and texting often and being all around charming.

I told him I wasn't comfortable dating a coworker and would rather wait until his assignment had ended, but he wouldn't accept that, and kept on pursuing me.

A couple months after, my boyfriend and I broke up (for various reasons), and I decided I'd give this guy a chance, because of his persistence and I didn't want to be a jerk for turning down a disabled guy (stupid reason, I know now). We started going out in the fall. Things were fine for the first month or so, and then started spiraling downward, little by little.

He slowly showed himself to be a true LVM. Wanted to only spend dates at my house (which at the time, I accepted because he isn't able-bodied). Insecure, critical, moody, short-tempered, becoming totally unreliable with plans, and contact slowed down, a lot. Threw temper tantrums when things didn't go as planned. His exes were both "crazy and horrible people." Then, he admitted that he had problems sympathizing and empathizing with others. Still had no problem using me as a therapist, though, for all his emotional problems.

This was when he was in the midst of transferring to another job 2 hours away, so I chalked it up to him being stressed and uber busy and distanced myself, keeping in touch sporadically. I tried ending it a few times, but he kept insisting that things would get better once he moved, and he wanted to try a LDR, pleading to give him some more time and swearing up and down that that isn't him, he just has so much going on. I should have dumped his ass at this point, but my pickmesha self believed that he really would get better and thought "ohhh no I'll give him more chances!"

Fast forward to about a week ago, when he's transferred and moved into his new place. We talk a few times, and were making plans to meet up this weekend or next weekend. I thought it would be fun to spend Valentine's weekend together, and he was initially agreeable. Note that I was still open to dating others because he hadn't offered me an official relationship.

Then, I get a text from him yesterday (day before Valentine's Day. Coincidence maybe?), saying he thought about it, and he can't be in a relationship now because of his trust issues and difficulty with emotional attachment, and that he needs to work on himself. But, he wanted to stay friends. I haven't responded and am contemplating just blocking and deleting him. My only regret now is having to see him at work every now and then because he'll be back once or twice a month for business 😑

So, ladies, if a guy falls below your standards, just don't do it just because he's persistent. Don't let them wear you down. They won't appreciate it, and they'll just convince themselves they can get better since you gave them a chance. And most men will just look out for their own interests. I will never give another LVM a chance, ever again. Learn from my mistakes.

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you queens! 💓