Initiating a date

Sage_Planter · 2020-08-15T23:11:54+00:00

If he's not asking, he's not interested.

skelly5515 · 2020-08-15T23:17:31+00:00

[deleted]

honeybeeroll · 2020-08-15T23:39:52+00:00

I'd just stop responding to any guy who hadn't asked me out after 1 to 3 days of texting (or whatever you're comfortable with). You don't ever need to drop hints or blatantly say you'd be interested in going out. If a guy wants to date you, he'll ask. I know guys are dumb but they understand at least that :p.

And if he asks but isn't sure where to take you, he should offer a couple suggestions (based upon what foods you've talked about/things you like to do), or ask you what are some foods you like and do the work of finding a restaurant himself.

2020-08-16T05:26:25+00:00

Sorry a bit of an off topic rant here. Lots of opinions about this. But to sum it up, you can react however you want it really doesn’t matter. I don’t follow up because I’m turned off by their lack of leadership and their inability to take on the masculine role in the relationship as i suspect you are too. I want the man to do all the planning and asking me out and confirming of the date. I have certainly done everything from hints to planning it to questioning them. It really doesn’t matter. I find most men are LV regardless of their planning skills. For a while I was really proud of how well I was leaning back and letting the men plan. But those men who plan are also the crazy controlling mean evil type a lot of the time. Sometimes made me wish I was out with that meek guy who couldn’t pick a restaurant. The better i got at leaning back and letting him plan the more narcissistic my dates became to the point where I am not going on dates anymore out of fear. I wish it was as simple as determining a man’s value and level of interest based on his ability to plan. In general, I like the man to plan so I am not going to assist him or drop hints as it stresses me out to be moving faster than him. Doesn’t feel good. If you want to be more direct there is no issue. I do not feel leaning back and being HV are mutually exclusive. There are lots of HVW with HVM who are the ones who took the lead. Some men are more attracted to that. It doesn’t automatically make them low value just like good planning skills doesn’t make them high value. What do you prefer and what feels good for you? If the answer is him planning it and making you feel wanted then don’t drop hints. I would not read it as a sign that they are not interested. Most are just looking for the date to turn into sex and you are a woman so therefore they are interested. They might also not be in position in life to take you out. Money problems, drugs, confidence, babies, seeing someone, just want sex, no car, in just got out of jail, going to jail, gay, bored and asked you out just to see what you would say, has gained 50 pounds since his picture was taken, living with his grandma, homeless, has an std flare up. There is a good chance he is simply not a planner and could or could not be interested. Who knows. My point is, they would not necessarily react differently to a woman who was more their type. Tons of books and dating coaches say otherwise and I feel this is very false information. The men who plan are not more interested in me in person than the men who don’t. This is research I’ve conducted with 100s of dates. Lots of factors going on that probably have nothing to do with you and why he isn’t following through. Put your energy only into men who make you feel good. Hints and following up don’t feel good. The rules book mentioned in some other comments also says, “love only those who love you”, which is some of the most amazing advice ever

Title	Initiating a date
Author	skelly5515
Upvotes	12
Comments	14
Date	August 15, 2020 11:03 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iahfol/initiating_a_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/initiating-a-date.68268 https://theredarchive.com/post/68268

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