Attention! Most people want it, and some people (LVM) weaponise it. I thought I'd write a bit about attention, in general, when it comes to dating.

Attention often leads to validation. Pickmeishas crave positive male attention because it validates their worth as women. I believe it also, perhaps subconsciously, makes women in unhappy or toxic relationships excuse their partner's vile behaviour. The attention they get from their toxic man, it makes them feel good, especially if they are starved for it.

Do not base your self esteem or self worth on male attention
Put your energy into something productive and healthy that makes you feel better about yourself. Maybe it's parenting, or having a successful career or reaching your work-out goals. Whatever it is, try using the progress you make in your personal life as validation. Make goals and work towards them.

If you still want attention, focus on a hobby and join a female dominated community. If you are into knitting, join an online knitting group or make an IG-profile where you post knitting pics. These communities give women a platform where they can give each other positive attention by commenting on each other's crafts.

Do not give LVM attention - negative or positive
You remember the boys in elementary school who would rile you up just to get a reaction out of you? Their parents will insist that it's just a phase, boys will be boys, but some guys never grow out of it. These men absolutely love riling women up; it evokes an emotional reaction which leads to them receiving female attention. This kind of behaviour is incredibly childish and manipulative. If a man does this to you, stay away from that low value bitch.

Sometimes I see screenshots of a woman writing a fuckboy a veeery long text message, calling him out on his bullshit. Do not do this. Why? Well..

1) You are showing him that he has successfully fucked with your feelings and riled you up. This will give him a sense of accomplishment.
2) He just doesn't care. Your words mean absolutely nothing to him, and he genuinely does not care about your well-being. If he did, he wouldn't have put you in this situation.

3) You are giving him attention. Even if it's negative, it's still attention. And some people just want attention, they don't care whether it's negative or positive.

Do not write messages like these. Ignore him and move on. If you are going to respond, please keep it short. But I swear - the best method is to act calm and like you don't care. Why should you care about a low value man who wants to play games with you anyway?

There are also "kind" LVM who don't act as fuckboys, but they are still LVM who you should distance yourself from. Do not give these LVM positive attention for doing the bare minimum. Do not give a man praise because he takes the trash out, or watches the kids for an hour. These are things that should be expected from men. A high value man will be responsible, not because he wants to be praised for it, but because it's in his nature.

Using attention as a tool in your dating life
First of all, be careful with who you give attention to. I believe consciously holding back attention as a punishment is horrifying when it comes to things such as raising children, but when it comes to grown men ... Well...

I believe that men who constantly get positive attention from their S/O get bored and take it for granted because it becomes a part of their everyday life. I am not suggesting that you flat out ignore others, but please be mindful of the amount of attention you give to a guy. Does he really deserve it?

Secondly, know that female attention is something a lot of men crave. Your attention has power and value, some men go to incredible lengths to get it. Should you take advantage of this and manipulate men? No, but you should know that the attention you, as a HVW, give to men - it matters to them.

Try to look at your attention as a currency, be conscious of how you spend it and don't give everything away at once.