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anonkittee
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[–]circescircusFDS Disciple33 points34 points35 points 6 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Next time don't have sex on the 2nd date. It's way, way, way too soon.
Everything in your post sounds LVM. You're choosing to focus on inconsequential little things (only thing is he pays for dates?) because you hope he'll be HVM. You can't hope for it, you just observe him and decide in time.
Meeting up with your sister for a double date was also a bad idea. This gives you the false belief that you can trust him and you know him, because he met your sister. He's still a stranger, you just set up an inappropriately early meeting with your sister. Meeting your sister should be a privilege for a HVM who has proved himself to be worthy of meeting your family.
You probably slept with him because you felt closer to him than you really are-- frequent texting and meeting your sister are big reasons for this.
It sounds like he is bread crumbing you. Also, how is he so busy that he only went on 2 dates with you in 4 weeks? These are all obvious signs that he isn't into you. As far as Valentine's Day-- with the way he treats you, he's probably bread crumbing other women and will send a copy paste Valentine's Day text to everyone on his phone, on apps, etc.
You're seriously rushing this non-existent connection and you're dating in fantasy mode-- which is dangerous. There are guys out there far worse than this one, and your filters just aren't strong enough to keep them away. The guy hasn't even seen you since he had sex with you. And your reaction to this is to plan Valentine's Day in your head with him?
I'm sorry if my post is harsh, but I'd say the same thing to a friend or cousin. Learn from this experience and in the future don't sleep with men too soon, don't introduce them to your sister on a 2nd date, don't engage in frequent texting (fuckboys like to text a lot because they can keep pickmes hooked on breadcrumbs this way), don't make a big deal out of men paying for dates. That's the minimum they should do to be considered worthy of your time.
[–]anonkitteeThrowaway Account1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Well yeah i guess i left out minor details, he doesn’t just text me he FaceTimes and calls me frequently and the reason we haven’t seen each other is honestly our schedules. He’s out of town for 8 days and off for 7 days. Those last 7 days i went out of town for 4 of them. I’ve dated plentttyyy of Fuck boys, so to me he’s honestly different than them. I guess that’s why i find myself here. I totally agree with the sister thing, but I’m very close to her so she actually usually meets any guy I’m dating. Def had sex too soon but at that moment that’s what i wanted.
[–]circescircusFDS Disciple17 points18 points19 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The minor details are just that... minor. This is my last post to you-- your cognitive dissonance serves this guy, it doesn't serve you.
[–]aclumsygirlAt-Risk Pick Me Youth12 points13 points14 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Don't get sidetracked by excessive texting and Facetiming... the measure of a man's true interest is the amount of quality, non-sexual in person time he gives you. You need to go on a few more dates to get a better sense of him.
[–]anonkitteeThrowaway Account-2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is what I’ve also been telling myself! I appreciate the response! Our schedules are very odd so it makes it slightly more difficult To meet up, but you make time for what you want right :)
[–]Firefly10886FDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men literally either do not give AF about vday or its completely off their radar. Not many men I’ve dated even remembered that being a day. I tend to think if a guy is really into you he doesn’t need an reason, any day will do. Also guys hate the pressure of having to do something specifically that day and they will resent you for it. I wouldn’t take this situation too personally because it’s early on and if you have a chance in the future you can explain it’s importance to you.
Anything else: definitely scrutinize.
[–]idiosyncraticg1FDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh lord. If he’s such a bro that he and his boys go on a camping trip on Valentine’s Day weekend (meaning his boys are either single or just don’t care about their gfs), drop him. A mature man would not miss Valentine’s Day for a trip.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]circescircusFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Did you have sex with him because you wanted to, or because you wanted what you think sex can give you? His interest, his time, a relationship. Be honest with yourself.
Calling and Facetiming vs texting doesn't mean he's a HVM.
"Seems like he's putting in the effort"
It sounds more like you have rock bottom standards, not that he's putting in the effort.
I'm not here to argue with you, you can do as you like. It just doesn't make sense to be dishonest with yourself when you're on FDS. This sub is a smorgasbord for honest, practical advice in your interest. You won't easily find that elsewhere, definitely not in other reddit relationship subs.
[–]anonkitteeThrowaway Account-1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I’m being 100% honest with myself, I’m not trying to argue either. Genuinely posting for advice and tips!
I had sex with him bc i wanted too, it wasn’t for hopes of a relationship or bc i thought that’s what he wanted. It was honestly bc i felt like having sex...
[–]flandersmustashFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
PersonLly the only thing i disagree with on here is the stance on sex.
I understand it! I get why it’s important, I get why it’s advocated on here to a T. However i think having sex early, eliminates men who only look for sex whilst being able to have sex lol. But I enjoy it. And i set the tone. Ive had sex on first dates and dump them after if they’re shit. I know it goes against principles but don’t beat yourself up. It’s still up to you which parts you agree and disagree with and it’s ok to do so.
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[–]circescircusFDS Disciple33 points34 points35 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]anonkitteeThrowaway Account1 point2 points3 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]circescircusFDS Disciple17 points18 points19 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]aclumsygirlAt-Risk Pick Me Youth12 points13 points14 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]anonkitteeThrowaway Account-2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Firefly10886FDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]idiosyncraticg1FDS Disciple3 points4 points5 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]circescircusFDS Disciple7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]anonkitteeThrowaway Account-1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]flandersmustashFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link