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aclumsygirl Archive

View 0 posts and 712 comments by aclumsygirl on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Seven months is not a long time to get over a really bad breakup. Don't beat yourself up that you're not over it yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/20 01:42 PM
7

This fugly greaseball doesn't even realize he's insulting himself. "I'm so unappealing that I'm seeking only desperate women with no standards at all" 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 09:05 PM
20

If a guy tells you he's not looking for a relationship, believe him. Always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 08:57 PM
24

Lmao at that lump on his head. I bet his "ethically non-monogamous" gf found his dating profiles and smacked his freak ass with a frying pan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 08:42 PM
22

Exactly. Perfectly put.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 01:39 PM
72

I'd rather be staked out over an anthill naked than get a dick pic from that shiny lump of pig fat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 12:07 AM
149

It's ALWAYS the paycheck-to-paycheck guys who complain. Every single time. Wealthy guys are happy to spend money on women they like. It's a non-issue for them. Any guy complaining about golddiggers gets an immediate launch. It signals they're broke, cheap and bitter. It's a huge LVM tell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 11:31 PM
35

Disgusting. Does she honestly think this will get better? Today's "borderline" obesity will be tomorrow's morbid obesity, with all the secondary health issues it brings. No fucking thank you. A guy who doesn't respect himself probably won't have much respect for you, either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 11:20 PM
3

You can tell a lot about a guy by his friends. Good for you. 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 05:39 PM
19

"What did you have in mind?" is perfect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 05:31 PM
10

Am I the only smartass who would've responded with "I cannot lie?" 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 05:27 PM
104

"I can't imagine why some guy hasn't taken you yet"-- that drives me nuts when they say that. Taken?? Um, I decide-- nobody "takes" me. A few months ago a guy told me I must not have a bf because "he wouldn't let you out by yourself". Yes, these are supposed to be compliments, I get it, but they are CREEPY compliments. The underlying assumption is that we're chattel, something to be owned and controlled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 01:52 AM
221

And it was so obviously exactly that-- an interrogation. LOVE how she bounced his nosy ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 01:46 AM
12

If your goal is to be the Good For Now Girl or the Forever Girlfriend... this is pitch perfect advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 01:38 AM
29

"I'll never get a woman like that to even look at me, so I'll make crass jokes about her to sound like an alpha tough guy." -- all LVM everywhere
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 01:31 AM
20

Yes, but it's still his job to approach you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 02:17 PM
2

I get it, I'm sure you are nice. But walking around with RBF doesn't attract people to come talk to you to find out. That's the issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 01:47 PM
24

Agreed, and I feel like there's really no point to OLD right now. I'm not into endless chatting with someone I haven't met and you can't have a date, so why bother? I text and facetime with the guys I had started to date pre-quarantine and that's it. I went on last week and you can tell the LVM are thirsty and out full force trying to get laid... I think they assume if women are online now they must be looking for hookups only since dating is out of the question. So yes, definitely beware. I'm p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 01:42 PM
2

So that's something to consider working on, if you want to attract men and frankly, even women for friendship. It's much easier to meet people if you have a happy, friendly, positive demeanor. I've made an effort to improve this in myself in the past year and it's really made a difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 01:27 PM
4

You can't force anybody like you. The more you try, the less success you'll have. Are you focusing solely on OLD? I had much better luck when I started getting out more and improved my overall approachability in real life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 05:40 PM
24

Men in my country are spoiled too. Still, you should never make the first move. It's always a bad idea. You'll never be sure of his true level of interest, and you're setting up a bad dynamic right out of the gate. HVM step up when they have to step up to get what they want. LVM won't. You'll automatically weed out 80% of LVM by leaning back and not pursuing. It's a beautiful thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 03:09 PM
1

Men in my country are spoiled too. Still, you should never make the first move. It's always a bad idea. You'll never be sure of his true level of interest, and you're setting up a bad dynamic right out of the gate. HVM step up when they have to step up to get what they want. LVM won't. You'll automatically weed out 80% of LVM by leaning back and not pursuing. It's a beautiful thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 02:58 PM
68

As counterintuitive as it sounds, the way to keep a HVM interested is to stop focusing on keeping him interested. Focus on yourself and making your life as interesting and fun and positive as you can, in all the ways you want. Don't overfunction in relationships. Let him lead and initiate and offer, you lean back and observe, and decide whether to accept what he's offering and continue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 02:36 PM
4

Don't beat yourself up. Even if you'd dropped back immediately, you'd still feel disappointed you didn't hear from him. It's normal. We've all been there. Bottom line, you deserved a real answer and he was too low value to give you one. That's fully on him, not you. Just remember, you were fine before you ever met him so you know you'll be fine without him! There are plenty of other opportunities out there (when the world gets back to normal) 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 02:23 PM
99

They are so delusional. We don't swoon over the idea of a naked male body, even if the guy is hot. It's just not how we're sexually wired. Plus, objectively their bodies aren't as aesthetically beautiful as ours. Deal with it, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 01:44 PM
29

This. 100% "We obviously want different things. It's time to see other people. Best of luck to you." Ignore all replies. Go forth and date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 01:14 PM
6

Sounds like he was hyperfocused on his new job. Regardless, he just wasn't interested enough to advance the relationship. It sucks, but it has nothing to do with who you are or your value as a person. So don't take it that way. Yes, you chased him a bit as he was fading and were a little overaccommodating, but I don't think that changed the outcome. Even if you cut him off sooner, he would've faded. This is a perfect example of why dating multiple men until you get in an exclusive relationship w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 12:20 PM
27

When a man thinks he's not good enough for you, he's always right. Believe him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 10:25 PM
9

YES. I could write a book. Tldr: it's sad for them, but not your job to fix. Run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 10:22 PM
2

You are very welcome! I will help any way I can.. changing up my routine, outlook and attitude interacting with men was literally a gamechanger. I attract 5x more men than I ever did (and I'm only getting older 🤣)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 10:20 PM
3

Approachability is about having a happy, positive, and confident vibe. High value men (and women) don't want to be around unfriendly, negative people. That's just reality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 10:12 PM
3

Finally! Found it One of the guys I'm seeing I met at a party where I knew absolutely no one except the bday guest of honor and her bf. So I walk into this big loud party at a bar and greet my friend, chat a bit, go to the bar and look around, start up a convo with some women there (ps it's great to practice being more open and outgoing with women first) and then move around, etc. I spot a cute guy so I look over at him and we make eye contact. I smile and quickly look away. That's how you make …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 10:09 PM
20

Sure, tell him you'll sew him one. Price: $500.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 03:23 PM
55

I'd be suspicious. Maybe nothing's going on yet, but the reality is men don't engage in this kind of text banter with women they aren't at least a little attracted to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 03:18 PM
22

Classic LVM. They feed off all the outrage and pearl-clutching. There is no value at all to engaging with this type, even to tell them they're offensive. Most of them know they're offensive and the rest don't care. Don't waste time spraying cologne on a pig. If he's rude, offensive, cringey, racist whatever-- just ghost. Walk away. No response is the most effective response, and the only response he deserves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 03:10 PM
23

Trigger them for what, anger? You want to trigger them to go away. Passive aggression signals that you care but lack the confidence to be direct. Apathy (no response) is always the better way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 03:01 PM
19

There's no way to do it that's going to give you the "closure" you're looking for. A fading guy is just going to deflect and then continue to fade. It sucks, but there's just nothing to do. Your only option is to just assume it's over and stop contacting him. If he contacts you, I'd barely respond, if at all. Trust me, he'll know why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 02:57 PM
2

I had a long comment to someone else who asked, which I'll try to find for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 02:52 PM
5

❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 01:14 AM
14

I had FAR more luck finding HVM when I got off OLD and concentrated on my real-life game. I think most HVM aren't even on those sites anymore, to be honest. It's slim pickings for sure. Focus on getting out more (when we're actually allowed to go out) and making yourself approachable when you do. Approachability is key.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/20 01:10 AM
13

What's his reason for insisting on living in a city you genuinely hate? Unless he has to be there temporarily for some incredibly high paying job he can't get anywhere else, that sounds grossly unfair and inconsiderate to you. And a man who doesn't consider your wants and needs and mental health in making major life decisions doesn't deserve the title of "the one who got away." He's just a LVM who wants things his way and expected you to go along for the ride. A man who truly wants to be with yo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 06:55 PM
10

Lmao! A+ for handling the mansplaining with a perfect level of condescension 👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 06:44 PM
48

I think they do that as a sick little test. I once matched w a guy who had a pic of Sasha Grey in his profile and I asked if he knew her. He was all excited and said he puts that in there to see if women recognize her, implication being they watch porn. I'm like "she was in Entourage on HBO as herself, dumbass." That's how people know who she is. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 09:26 PM
9

"he has a decent job from what he tells me but always seems to have no money. His house was far from clean when I visited him, the vehicle he drives belongs to a family member, he doesn't have access to his car due to outstanding circumstances. He complains about having to use condoms during sex." All of this is a hard No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 09:19 PM
41

Yes. The initial base attraction when I meet someone is mostly physical, because that's all I have to go on. But that attraction goes way up, or way down, based on his behavior and character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 02:16 PM
122

Exactly my thought too. "Quitter" if you don't want to suffer through pain for partner's pleasure? Yep, that sounds like a guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 02:13 PM
8

Happiness without him is always the best "revenge". He's a class A scumbag, but messing with him just brings you down to his level and prolongs your recovery from his betrayal. Don't interact with him unless you absolutely have to, and when you do, treat him like a co-worker. Brief, civil, but emotionally indifferent. Think of something great in your life and when you find yourself thinking about him, force your mind away from it and to the great thing instead. The mind is like a muscle, you can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 02:01 PM
46

"It wasn't really a pickup line" Narrator: It was definitely a pickup line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 01:40 PM
2

First of all-- are you sure it's a good idea to get involved with a co-worker? Personally, I think it's risky unless you two don't see each other or interact much during the day. As for attracting him, all you can really do is put yourself in his "line of sight" and be smiling and extra friendly and approachable. If you have a lunchroom, eat lunch when he does. If he takes the stairs, start taking the stairs. In other words, start increasing the number of places he will see you. (Within reason, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 06:46 PM
5

When it comes to abusive and controlling behavior, our initial instincts are usually right. Unfortunately it's all too easy to ignore those instincts when the physical attraction is strong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 06:16 PM
37

TLDR: HVW lowers her standards to date increasingly slovenly LVM who ends up resenting the fact that she's out of his league and treats her like shit. Moral of the all-too-common story: do not date down in looks and/or achievement. They won't be grateful. They'll get increasingly insecure, and resent you for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 06:06 PM
4

Dating multiple men helps enormously with this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:49 PM
5

He assumed you were a 3-Date-Rule Girl. He was willing to stick it out until Date 3 if he got sex, but that's it. You dodged a bullet and handled that nicely 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:45 PM
5

Avoid this guy like the plague. He's completely nuts. Stay safe 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:41 PM
3

These are strange times. I had a couple guys in rotation before all this hit, now we do facetime dates and it works pretty well, are you doing that? I'm not usually a big facetime fan but it beats just texting and calling. In a LTR the effort should naturally even out; you can certainly do nice things for him if he's stepping up on his end. If you sense imbalance then just pull back on your effort. Don't reach out as much, and give him a little space to miss you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:37 PM
8

I've never met a heterosexual man who wanted flowers from a woman. I've worked with guys who've gotten flowers from women and they were totally mortified. It's a LV move, even in a committed relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 05:23 PM
46

Sudden withdrawing-- as in not initiating anything? That's not weird and it's exactly what you should be doing. Let him do 100% of the initiating, and then mirror his effort. Works like a charm to restore proper balance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:13 PM
17

I would file a report.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:11 PM
14

So the profiles you did delete-- did he upload actual photos of you?? I would really consider making a report. He's impersonating you online and who knows if there are profiles out there you don't even know about that could be giving out your personal info. I'm serious-- this guy sounds obsessive and dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:51 PM
5

Expecting the man to spend more on gifts is not a petty game. It's just the way it should be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:45 PM
26

Is he actually creating profiles using your real name and photos? Or is he just signing you up for stuff to spam your email inbox? If it's the former I'd go to the local police station and make a report. That's serious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:39 PM
11

You're better off matching his effort when his birthday rolls around. Don't go crazy with expensive gifts if he isn't doing that for you. The man should be the one spending the most on gifts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:31 PM
81

So the toddler rape video was left up OVERNIGHT--- how the fuck does that even get uploaded to begin with? Don't they have screening for that?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:24 PM
7

He just wasn't that into it, and he sensed--rightly or wrongly-- that you had feelings for him. (Of course he had no problem having sex with you, but holding hands was too affectionate/boyfriendish for him to handle 🙄) Doing this by text right after he came over to basically just have sex with you is LV all the way. Honestly I would have just said, in response to his first paragraph of garbage, "ok, take care" or even better-- nothing at all. He doesn't really deserve anything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:15 PM
8

This is genius. Definitely helpful when you are under the "chemistry" spell with a guy and need a dose of logic and a rational analysis of quality and compatibility.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:03 PM
3

Oh, I could have some fun with this. Where I live, once the tenant has moved in, she's got all kinds of rights. "Sure, I'll have sex with you in exchange for rent. Let me get settled in first." Takes keys without signing a lease, waves goodbye Deadbolts door Good luck in court, buddy 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:56 PM
24

A guy like this doesn't get this way overnight. I'm sure he was LVM from the start. She overlooked it because she wanted marriage and kids. I feel terrible for her, but I hope she realizes if she has kids with him it's going to get 10x worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:46 PM
8

Actually, I blame the fucking abusers. But I'm sure abusive men love it that women like you focus your anger on other women instead 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:41 PM
46

That's not cynical. That's exactly what it was. Physical aggression doesn't have to involve contact. Years ago I went out a few times with a guy who started making comments about me wearing short skirts in bars and he ended up backing me up against a wall, getting in my face and smacking the wall next to my head. I said "ok", then wordlessly left and never saw or spoke to him again. No question in my mind that if I'd stayed with him, he would have ended up hitting me. Abusers start small to see …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:34 PM
14

This is the right answer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:21 PM
6

That's debateable. She's a very anxious attacher, which she admits and is frankly evident by her posts. Anxious attachers can ruin relationships with good men, I've seen it time and again and experienced it firsthand. The "pattern" she's seeing could be his reaction to her high anxiety and constant insecurity about his feelings. Anxious attachers make their partner feel like nothing they do is ever good enough, so eventually they get resentful and stop trying. Which makes the anxiety-ridden part…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:12 PM
3

A guy who feels like he has to apologize a lot will eventually get sick of apologizing. Try what I suggested... just keep calm, lean back, try not to take things so personally, take your anxious focus off him and what he's doing. Assume he loves you because you're loveable-- so why wouldn't he? And then just observe what he does. I don't know your bf, but I do know a good man can be turned off/pushed away by an overly anxious woman. So you want to fix this within yourself regardless of what happ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 01:03 PM
19

You're leading the whole way here. Don't ever do that. Always be in the receiving and responding position. Then you can easily measure his interest.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 02:09 AM
11

That's a great analogy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 10:59 PM
1

Ok I am really just trying to help here-- this sounds unreasonable to me. He just applied for it. Maybe he was going to tell you about it later? Men respond to loss of employment and financial problems differently than we do. Their earning capacity is much more a part of their identity and how they feel about themselves than it is for us. He is probably very consumed by his situation. When he's thinking about it, that's all he's thinking about. He's not thinking about you. Men are big compartmen…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 10:58 PM
11

Ok, well that's not acceptable unless there's a reason. Saying hurtful things-- not acceptable either. But your style of dealing with him (anxious, nagging) is adding on a whole other layer of problems, particularly with an avoidant. It's like nails on a chalkboard to men, even HV ones. You've already told him in words, now need to show him through ACTIONS what you will and will not tolerate. And how he responds to those ACTIONS will tell you what kind of man he is. For example, you have plans (…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 10:50 PM
10

We'd need more info on what he's doing or not doing to make you feel that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:40 PM
89

3-4 months is about the time the mask really starts to come off. It's easy to dismiss things in the beginning because we want to give people the benefit of the doubt. But usually, our instinct about a guy's early behavior ends up being right. It happens. It was only a few months... don't let it slow your stride 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 09:37 PM
80

"complaining that the woman he liked ghosted him after showing signs of interest. Why? He NEVER asked her out." I've done this dozens of times and will continue to do it proudly. I'm not interested in a passive girly pen pal who likes to chat. I'm interested in men. Guys, if you don't have the balls--- yes, balls-- to ask a woman out and pay for the date, then you might as well date other men. Don't expect a feminine woman if you aren't going to act like a masculine man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 06:06 PM
9

To guys I'd just laugh and say "wow, I didn't realize you were so preoccupied about my appearance!" Then look at them with amused pity, like you would a loser guy who's hitting on you and you feel sorry for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 11:26 PM
8

Lauren was Jeff's mistress when he was married to his ex-wife. I think she knew what she was getting into.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 11:11 PM
23

I didn't have much pity for most of the women on the show either, to be honest. The only exceptions being the zoo employee who lost her arm, and the woman who had the common sense to escape Doc Antle's PickMe animal factory. As for Lauren, it revolts me when women bring an innocent child into these situations. If a woman wants to degrade herself with a trash LVM dirtbag, fine. But do the world a favor and permanently sterilize yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 04:48 PM
24

I generally don't put much stock in social media gestures but this is definitely a red flag. If he's active on FB and refusing to even friend you at this stage, he wants to keep his options open. There's no other explanation. Sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 08:19 PM
15

"And then he said that he doesn't feel any sexual chemistry with me so it's better to not see each other again." Well, this is probably him saving face because he can't get it up... but honestly, any man that says anything like that to you deserves to never be graced with your presence again. Tell him to tuck his limp micro dick between his legs and you hope the door hits him on his flabby ass on the way out 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 10:32 PM
9

Not following through on a specific thing he promised to do-- even if it's small-- without an excuse or apology is at least a yellow flag. Taking a while to respond, not a good text conversationalist... eh, it depends. In the early stages you want to be dating a few guys in rotation and not get too invested. I just mirror what they do and observe. After a month or so I decide whether to keep them around as "back burner" guys or just cut them off entirely. If they're really low effort in the sens…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 10:24 PM
185

Funny enough, I've never ever ever had a "scantily clad" photo on a dating app and I do just fine, thanks. Of course this guy thinks underwear selfies and sex talk in profiles isn't trashy. HE is trash. Trash guy likes trash girls... whoa, someone alert the media! This is exactly the kind of dude I want to swipe left on me. I'm thrilled I don't meet his criteria.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:45 PM
11

He betrayed his wife, you didn't. He betrayed you. You are not a piece of shit. You can't be friends with him. You need to stop beating yourself up and even more importantly, you need to stop ruminating on the special connection you have. He probably does love you-- but so what? What difference does it make? What value does it bring? Answer--->none. His love DETRACTS from your life. He's proven himself to have no integrity. You'll never be together; he's staying with his wife. His love has hurt …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:26 PM
27

I agree with the guy's post, sorry. He says there are exceptions here and there, and there are. But the vast majority of the time the guy "friend" wants more. Straight men do not seek out platonic female friendships without an ulterior motive. It's either hope of sex with her, or hope that she'll facilitate his meeting (and having sex with) other women. That's just the way they roll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 09:08 PM
18

Noooo... it's only two dates. You should be dating others, too. I think it's a good thing that he told you--- as long as his motivation was simply to be honest that he was dating around looking for "the one" vs. warning you that he wouldn't ever be exclusive with anyone. It sounds like it was the former. My response to this would be to just smile and say, "well, of course! It's too early for exclusivity, we're still getting to know each other." That implies you're dating too, and that you'll exp…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 08:59 PM
18

Poor Bob. It's lonely on that lawn chair in the basement, jerking off into a tube sock
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 02:16 AM
4

"Also, how do you get back in touch with your body after you've been in a sexually abusive situation? I can tell my state is improving because I don't dissociate and feel like my hands are his hands anymore (so I'm not repulsed by the idea of touching my skin anymore)." It sounds like you could benefit from some therapy? That's a lot to get over. Kudos to you for dumping him 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 01:52 AM
4

I can be a little avoidant myself, so I feel you. Generally if a guy has been both frequently and consistently initiating over a week or two, I'll start initiating. Say, once to his five. You also have to make sure you're receptive and warm and friendly when he does text you. That's usually all the encouragement they need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 01:47 AM
8

Put the canceling guy on the very back burner. Tell him (sweetly) you're not available this weekend. You'll tell him (sweetly) you're not available the next time, either. Put Rich Guy to the front for now. And date others, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 01:43 AM
3

You have to talk to him about it, so he knows it's important to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 01:39 AM
5

That's the spirit 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 01:38 AM
4

Oh my God. I'm so sorry ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 01:37 AM
19

First of all... are you still in touch with medical school guy? You need to delete him completely from your life so you can move on. Trust me when I tell you-- he's not as perfect as you think he is. There are plenty of better ones out there for you. The sooner you delete him out of your life, the faster you'll move on from this "situationship". Dressing more femininely isn't strictly necessary, but it helps. And men don't really care if you're wearing the latest trends; in fact many of the tren…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 01:07 AM
59

You can't force yourself to be attracted to someone. Are you really attracted to feminine men? Most straight women aren't. "I’ve been feeling that the type that I go for might be great in the looks department but less of a match otherwise." Masculine/athletic men aren't inherently bad partners. If you're finding yourself consistently attracted to LVM... it's definitely not a looks thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 12:54 AM
6

If you don't want to hang out with a guy you just say "no, thanks." You don't have to explain yourself. In fact, it's usually better if you don't even try.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 12:21 AM
3

Absolutely-- that's the usual case when you start out on the proper footing (waiting for him to court and date you, holding off on sex). But this isn't the usual case. You had a fling/ONS and he's going to blow back into town expecting casual sex. Now you're trying to dial it back while still conveying interest. Not easy to pull off, but not impossible either. If you date him but rebuff sex (that you've already given him) he's going to feel friendzoned. That's why I think the best course is just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/03/20 01:54 PM
22

Good for you! Tip: next time it happens... don't even bother responding at all 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:24 PM
8

"I care about you and always want your happiness, but if you're not going to take my advice about him, then I would prefer to not hear anything about him anymore. Fair enough?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:17 PM
12

"I am younger than him, I am hotter than him, I am smarter than him, I am funnier than him." Loving this Queen energy right here! Always keep this mindset when dealing with him. Keep texting minimal until he gets back, and even more importantly, keep it non-sexual. Always make him text first, you respond warmly, indicating interest, but always non-sexually. You're doing this to set the tone-- you're interested, but you want more than a fwb, so no "benefits" talk until you know what he's offering…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 09:01 PM
19

Nice job. This guy is narcissistic and toxic. I'm sure on the surface he's charming and interesting, which is what initially reels you in. It takes courage to block someone when you've had him in your life in one form or another for so long, but it's 100% the right move. You will heal SO MUCH faster by completely cutting him out of your life.👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 08:40 PM
47

So he has a female friend that he never sees, yet is close enough to to share personal details about you and your relationship, and in the course of 2.5-3 years you've never even met her? It doesn't really add up. I don't think you're getting the full story, which of course is a red flag in and of itself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 08:18 PM
22

Oh please. Single + no FWB + over40 = Goes much longer than 8 days without sex, even in regular times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 08:09 PM
67

For those who like the Charles Manson type 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 08:42 PM
4

Well, you can't really have it both ways. The guy can sound lazy or insecure by throwing the pursuing work at the woman, or.... He can sound confident and masculine by sacking up and just asking for her number. HVM generally do the latter because they know that's what women prefer, and then they aren't forced to sit around waiting for her to text.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 08:35 PM
25

They like to present themselves as these June Beaver types baking bread all day in a dress and pearls while their happy suited up husbands work their high income jobs and come home with flowers and love and appreciation for her domestic goddessness. Sounds nice, but the reality is they're cooking three meals, watching the kids, mowing the lawn, fixing the appliances, and scrubbing skid marks off their husband's underwear while he's eating Cheetos, playing xBox and surfing porn in between shifts …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 08:25 PM
64

Eh, I wouldn't self isolate from my husband, either. I don't think it's pickme behavior. Plus... I mean, it's Idris Elba. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 08:13 PM
2

"Many of the qualities I appreciate "here and now" is not something I would want in a long term life-partner." Such as?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 08:09 PM
1

Then he can say "can I have your number? Or would you be more comfortable if I just give you mine? I'd like to see you again." Just saying "hey, here's my number" is lazy and low value. If you're absolutely determined to entertain it, your ONLY effort should be a quick, relatively contemporaneous text that says "Hey, great to meet you tonight" or similar and that's it. No advancement of the conversation unless he substantively responds. And the longer you wait to send it the more pursuing it loo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 08:05 PM
11

You absolutely did the right thing. He's your typical good looking lazy LVM looking for easy pickings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 01:55 PM
330

Never pursue a man, ever. High value women are hard to get and easy to lose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 12:09 PM
8

Call Kroger HQ in Cincinnati and get an email or snail mail addy for Human Resources. Send your complaint there. Trust me, they won't care what your department head thinks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/20 12:22 AM
5

Kroger's should have a written sexual harassment policy that spells out how you make complaints to corporate. Legally, you have to follow that policy first, if you want to sue them. If you don't know the policy, ask the general manager of the store. Preferably in writing, email is fine. It's 200% harder for them to ignore you if you put things in writing. If you don't follow their reporting policy, it's very difficult to sue them in court.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 11:57 PM
4

I totally get it. I could tell your feelings were mixed because of the way you responded. I've been there. (And no, you should definitely not text him.) My LVM ex would say things like "I'm sorry I'm inconsiderate sometimes." And I would respond EXACTLY the way you did. Tell him "stop saying sorry, just change your behavior." Then I'd pout and make snarky comments like you did. The exact pattern. What I found was that the snarky comments did not work. He just thought I was angry and negative and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 12:24 AM
23

Good for you! These charming, sexy, casual-fun types are tough guys to turn down, but when you want a serious relationship it's a fool's errand to get involved with them. 👏👏👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 11:56 PM
9

Ok, fair enough, it's a distraction tactic. But if you still want to give him a shot to improve, then the best response to that nonsense is no response. That'll get his attention much faster than passive aggressive comments about his failings-- even though those comments are fully justified. If you're committed to dumping him, then of course it doesn't matter either way. I'm not trying to knock you at all, just trying to help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 10:22 PM
18

"he asked if I wanted to drink with him in the parking lot of liquor store." I literally just choked on my water. OMFG. One of the reasons this sub is so great is we all have the common experience of weeding through these utterly ridiculous losers. You really can't make this stuff up 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 10:09 PM
64

Absolutely this. Mr. Nice Guy is actually Mr. Bitter Angry Wannabe Player Guy who thinks he's not scoring with the chicks because we're all out clubbing and banging fuckboys every night. And he secretly wants to be one of those guys. Hard pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 10:01 PM
50

"He asked if I had ever had sex with someone who was not my boyfriend." Ughhhhh. Low value all the way. Next time: the response is to smile in a slightly puzzled way and say, "why do you ask?" Shame him into changing the subject.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:54 PM
13

Lol you're completely missing the point. If she didn't want to give him another chance, then great. Don't. But then you shouldn't tell him that you are. That's the mixed message. I'm not blaming her in the least, I'm sure her feelings are justified. I'm showing her why her communication isn't going to get her the result she wants. I have no idea why you're taking this so personally, but have a great day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:50 PM
21

Lmao! Touche 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:37 PM
7

Oh of course he's disgusting and the problem. LVMs are everywhere and they're not our responsibility. But we do control who we marry and procreate with, and if a guy like that has to exist, at the very least we can ensure he doesn't father a kid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:36 PM
297

Unreal. What really gets me is that he ASKED you if you wanted anything, and then just continued to sit on his ass! If this happens again, when he asks you if you want anything, you SIT and say "sure, I'll have a xxxx, thanks!" and give him a big smile. They should be forced to vocalize and fully own their low value cheapassery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:20 PM
23

My method is not strictly FDS. I want to meet pretty quickly. I don't want to waste my time endlessly talking to a guy who's 10 years older than his photos, 5 inches shorter, 25 lbs heavier, whatever. I don't want to get stuck on a 2 hour dinner date with a guy I'm not even remotely attracted to. So I tell them I'm happy to meet for a quick drink/coffee for a half hour after work to see if there's a spark, and if there's mutual interest he (yes, he) can take it from there. Meaning, it's job to i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:10 PM
14

Second fastest... say something negative about short men and/or tiny dicks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:04 PM
11

Well, in all fairness, you gave him a mixed message here. He apologized (even if inadequate) and your response suggested you'd be looking for changed behavior. In other words, you seemed to be giving him another chance to do better. But then you snapped at him when all he said was that it would be nice to be quarantined together, which seems to me like a sweet thing to say. Am I missing something? If he's not appreciating you, passive aggressive cracks like that will never, ever work. You will o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 09:00 PM
53

👏👏👏👏 HVM have higher emotional IQs than LVM. Even though you were acting a little irrationally, he understood why and knew you needed some extra reassurance today. "...led to me behaving like a pedantic rocket" Gold. I can totally relate and I'm stealing that phrase 🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 08:47 PM
22

This is so obvious it's painful. Hardly sees me + Keeps RL secret = Seeing other(s). 90% of the time. The other 10%, you're a placeholder and he's looking to replace you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 08:39 PM
17

It's really hard to believe this guy was an amazing prince beforehand and her pregnancy turned him into a class-A fuckwad overnight. 99.9% of the time, the signs are there from the beginning, but the woman chose to ignore them. I'm thin and have always been thin, but I wouldn't be impressed with a guy who told me he hates fat people and was constantly harping on body size. We all have our preferences but that kind of talk is cruel and unnecessary. Odds are this guy was a flaming ass from day one…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 08:36 PM
96

Seriously. If a man made a chart for me like this, I'd roll it up tight and shove it where the sun don't shine. If he's not pulling his household weight, this is definitely not the way to handle it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 08:19 PM
9

I considered just getting a lyft home because he made it so uncomfortable. This. This is exactly what you do. Say nothing and go. And then when he calls/texts to find out what happened, you don't respond. He knows. If you absolutely have to text something, text "your behavior is unacceptable" and absolutely *nothing* else. Do not respond to any replies, any calls, any attempts to see you. If you're not prepared to dump him yet, keep this up for at least a full week.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 02:26 PM
29

What a weirdo! I've honestly never even heard of a man who wasn't actively turned on by the idea of his partner masturbating. He sounds pathologically insecure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 02:13 PM
3

Excellent post. I pay no attention to flairs. I pay attention to the advice of women who are successfully attracting and keeping quality men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 02:09 PM
22

Just say, firmly and calmly, "If you want to leave personal items here, I'd appreciate it if you'd ask me first." And the next time he comes, as he's getting ready to leave I'd look around and say (lightly) "do you have everything?" If you see something lying around, pick it up and put it by the door. That should be all it takes. If he keeps at it (leaving stuff without asking), he's a boundary pusher. But just my personal opinion-- if he asks to leave a toothbrush or some shaving stuff there, t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 01:50 PM
81

Omg I laughed out loud. Pickup artist? He looks like a ferret who's been left out in the rain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 12:38 AM
12

There is no heterosexual man in the history of the world who has wanted a woman to buy him flowers. The End.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 12:22 AM
43

Yup. She's nuts if she thinks this is desirable behavior. It's low value all the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 12:20 AM
7

And aside from the general heinousness of his position... any man who calls me "dude" can expect an immediate block. If I'm feeling magnanimous I might warn him first: "Um.. 'dude'? Should you be on Grindr, maybe?" But probably not even that. Just a block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 03:34 PM
8

You don't want them to chase you by text. You want them to ask you out, so you can either weed them out or decide to let them pursue you. Endless texting is a huge time waster and over time can get you invest emotionally-- bad, bad idea with a guy who hasn't demonstrated any in-person effort. So vary your response times and keep responses short (but stay upbeat). When a guy teases something about you not being a great texter then you say "I'm a busy girl plus I keep my best life offline ;)" Beyo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 03:20 PM
6

Natural empathy. And that's good. What's not good is fixing/helping out of a lack of self-esteem, thinking "broken" guys are all you deserve, and/or falling into the despair/resentment trap of giving with the expectation of getting something back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 02:59 PM
45

The "Wall" is the ultimate angry incel fanfic bullshit. It's their favorite circle jerk, reassuring one another that ONE DAY when they're older they will finally get laid... because women their age will be so ugly they'll have no other options. Uh huh. If you actually have a life and observe what is happening around you, you know they're so off base it's laughable. It's really not worth arguing with them though. If it keeps them happy and occupied, let them believe what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 09:48 PM
1

Wow... so much manipulation in one post. Lots of narcissism red flags here. Insecurity, gaslighting, passive aggression, excessive need for control. You're handling him well, but I would be really hesitant to take things further with this guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 03:46 PM
5

There's nothing wrong with it if it's something you genuinely want to do. If it's something you feel you have to do or should do--- then nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 03:37 PM
61

Yup, this. So sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 03:32 PM
5

"I think we need an FDS post about how to do FWB right, to avoid disappointment and missed expectations." It's not going to happen, and it probably shouldn't happen. And I say that as someone who unapologetically has a fwb. It only works for some, and in very limited circumstances. For the people who shouldn't do it, or don't do it the "right" way, it can be devastating. I would never want this sub to appear to advocate for women to try it, particularly the women who are inexperienced with men a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 03:26 PM
19

Ugh, I saw that she did try to go to the hospital but they're overwhelmed with the coronavirus and turned her away. You should stay with family or a friend to be monitored for the next 24 hours or so, u/throwawaytittes 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 02:40 AM
40

She's gorgeous. Only recently I noticed she's had fillers. Which she didn't even need. Before that she looked completely natural-- and still stunning. She is vegan and (more importantly, imo) a lifelong health and fitness maven. She has always taken great care of herself and it shows! One of my idols in terms of aging beautifully, healthfully, and gracefully 👸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 02:19 AM
18

I'm wary of overly sarcastic guys. It's usually a crutch for weakness and insecurity. Just like this guy. Over time this caustic "joking" would have only gotten worse and his apologies would become nonexistent. Who wants to deal with a guy who expresses himself this way? It's not funny, it's a turnoff. If he wants to talk like that, maybe he should date his guy friends. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 10:30 PM
0

Thanks, I will!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 08:02 PM
4

"Because while I don't at all support the porn industry, I do believe you can create porn that, again, exists outside of the framework that produces the kind of porn you find on PornHub" Right, but as you indicated, that's not what men want, and men are the vast majority of consumers. They (on the whole) want the hardcore, exploitative stuff. Also, you'll still have exploitation in the "softer" porn. Because at the end of the day, the vast majority of women do not benefit, financially, emotional…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 07:58 PM
1

First of all-- I give you a lot of credit for your responses. You're not really getting many answers vs. Indignance and insults. I too was confused when people started attacking liberal feminists wholesale as being pro-porn. Every girl I went to college with ID'ed as a libfem and I never heard anyone try to describe porn or SW as "empowering." But I do think there's a subset of "sex positive" libfems who normalize it and push the IDEA that porn is perfectly fine and not harmful, and women who wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 07:22 PM
12

So nice to read about success stories ❤ Good men WANT to pursue us and make us happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 06:38 PM
44

It's pretty clear what choice he's got to make. Sad story, but the past is the past. He's got a wife and baby now. Ex is hardly going to be the same person after all this. She needs a fresh start, too. New wife has to give him an ultimatum, and he's got to man up and make the choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 06:34 PM
6

If your partner is taking you for granted or acting complacent, instead of nagging and complaining (which never works with men) you direct your energy completely away from him and focus on yourself and your interests. Lean back from the conflict and do the feel-good things you'd do if you were getting ready to leave him and you wanted to improve yourself to get back out in the dating world. He'll notice the change in dynamic pretty fast and start being more attentive. Regardless, it's good to ke…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 05:33 PM
87

They know. If he doesn't ask you out, it's one of only three things: He's not interested enough, or He's lazy, or He's so painfully shy it would impede a healthy relationship anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 04:58 PM
9

These aren't examples of HVM with communication issues. These are examples of LVM. A HVM with communication issues is a good man who isn't always great at expressing himself, i.e. the classic "man of few words" whose actions still manifest love and respect and fidelity. The men you're describing are cheaters and gaslighters and possibly even narcs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 02:07 PM
3

And it sounds like you've discussed your avoidant issues with her? That's important to do. You seem very self aware, and that's a critical first step to overcoming attachment issues. As long as you disclose up front that you need to take things slow (and the distance problem kind of mandates that anyway) and keep the lines of communication consistent and open, I think you are fine and you just see where it goes. Be willing to listen if she wants to talk about how things are going. Be honest and …
/r/askFDS13/03/20 01:25 AM
65

"Well, my boyfriend claims that my friend has a crush on me" I hate to say it, but your boyfriend is probably right. "and wants me to stop hanging out with him" Which is at least a little understandable. If your bf was hanging out a lot alone with a girl who you thought had a crush on him, how would you feel? How would you feel if your bf brushed off your discomfort and announced he was doing it anyway? I know I wouldn't like it and it would definitely affect the relationship. You don't have to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 01:10 AM
48

Words, words, words. Men respond to actions, not words. No more BJs and lingerie. Implement dread protocol. Tell him you need some space to think about things and move into the second bedroom. Treat him like a roommate you don't know very well, polite but distant. Go out more, be on your phone more, buy some new clothes. Go out with friends, pursue interests, join new groups to meet people. Be vague about your whereabouts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:51 AM
4

"So when she connected with me again, i made a point to ask her out with the intention of moving toward a relationship." So what happened when you did that? I'm a little confused by your timeline. Is she receptive to seeing you? Have you been seeing each other and spending quality time together?
/r/askFDS13/03/20 12:32 AM
24

And she's married to him?? The probable cheating and fetishistic creepiness of it aren't the only issues here. I don't think either of them understand how child support laws work. 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:16 AM
110

Aaaaaand her outrage and indignance just got him off more. These are exactly the responses they want. Don't feed the pervs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:45 PM
48

Too nice = Overperforming, leading, pursuing, mothering. I wish they wouldn't use the word "nice". Too many women misinterpret that as a directive to be bitchy and overentitled. You can be perfectly nice and still lean back and not overperform, and let him pursue you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:36 PM
3

Not really. It's not like you used his reaction to justify blowing up his phone. You asked a simple question that you'd ask anyone; really it was the smallest of small talk. Don't be so hard on yourself. File it under another lesson learned!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:26 PM
116

I will tell you this, even though I'm sure you already know it: He did NOT send that because he wants you to know he cares about your happiness. He sent that because he wanted to make himself feel good. If he cared about your happiness, he would leave you alone to heal. But he wants to feel that I'm-the-bigger-person high, that pseudo-altruistic faux nostalgia... all at your expense. Plus he's hoping for the reassurance that you're still in his narcissistic supply chain. Be strong. Delete it. Do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:21 PM
4

Ugh. The amount of really bad advice in the comments lately has gotten alarming. You are 100% correct. It is NORMAL for a man to have, and express, sexual interest in you. In fact, sexual interest is the very first thing they're focused on. Yes, even high value men. What a HVM shouldn't be doing is making sexual innuendos and crass moves and advances right out of the gate. It's disrespectful, and they know it. But after a date or two, they will be hoping for some kind of sexual activity and ther…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:09 PM
9

Don't beat yourself up, it's not like you changed how he felt. He's just trying to bench you. If you'd ignored him, he would have just kept trying until you responded. He's looking for reassurance that you're still "on the bench." But now you know not to give him that! Block, or just ignore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 10:20 PM
16

I have three in rotation right now. Two I met irl and one off OLD. They're all very respectful, good looking, good company. One I like more than the other two, and he's the most attentive of the three, but since I'm not super invested in any of them, I just sit back and see what happens. "So recently guy I’ve been seeing dumped me for another girl." So if this happened with one of mine, of course I would cut him off. If he made the decision to stop seeing me so he could pursue an exclusive RL wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 09:59 PM
2

Omg. No. NO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 04:15 PM
36

They are obsessed with the dick size posts. I get more hate mail for commenting in those posts than any other. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 04:12 PM
26

He'll probably have a flood of excuses and apologies. Ignore them. Date other men anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 04:10 PM
-15

Because not all the advice is good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 04:08 PM
3

This is before you've even met? I mean, there's a limit to how excited anyone is going to get about a person they've never laid eyes on. And that's a good thing-- no one should be investing much at all during this (short, pre-meet) phase. Unless there are overt red flags, go on the dates. You'll be able to gauge interest and filter much more easily after you've met them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 11:32 PM
105

I can only imagine their sex life. He probably wants them to stay fully clothed, with the lights out, and they have to shower immediately after. Of course, I'm sure he secretly watches porn 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 11:01 PM
25

I don't think it would've mattered what you did or didn't do with this guy, he's just a lazy LVM. He was determined to do the very least amount of work possible to have sex with you, and no more. But no, never initiate dates, and when a guy is low effort like this right out of the gate-- just drop him. No reason to keep trying. It is never going to get better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 10:18 PM
4

Think of one of your male colleagues that is nice enough, but you find physically repulsive. Treat him exactly like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 07:53 PM
6

I think you give them too much credit. If they hate easy pickings so much, why ask for nudes at all? Why surf tinder looking for cheap hookups? Why sexualize everything immediately? Why not spend that free time looking for a quality woman to date and commit to? Because they want what's easy. They really don't want to work for it. That's why it's on us to make them. As always, the burden of sexual gatekeeping and stable mate pairing for the good of children (and general civilization) rests with u…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 07:46 PM
36

Of course. And meanwhile every man bemoaning female promiscuity will fuck anything he can get his hands on, follows the half naked "models" on IG and faps to porn all day. They greedily consume the exact behavior they deride. Total hypocrites.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 02:43 PM
17

I really love stories like this. Who knows what will happen but regardless, you gave yourself the opportunity to see what real high value male behavior looks like. Changes your perspective and more importantly, permanently changes your standards👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 02:33 PM
33

That wife needs to learn some dread game. It's amazing how quickly men learn to appreciate things when they fear they're about to lose them. Particularly if it's to another man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 02:24 PM
11

I must live in some parallel universe because I've never had a guy ask me these questions. I'm always surprised by how rampant it is. It's safe to assume that a man who is asking for your "number" or pressing you for details on your past sex life is sexually insecure, and there is therefore no upside at all to telling him anything. The guy should only care about discovering what you like and what gets you off, and he can discover these things without prying into your past. "Do you like x" gets t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 02:15 PM
21

Or just laugh at them. "Wait-- you think you're a Chad? Omg LOL" And then disappear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 02:04 PM
6

Oh I bet it did! I'm surprised there are any upvotes left 😂 Thumbs up to our hardworking mods 👍❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 01:55 PM
5

Omg that's perfect 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 01:54 PM
73

Sex should really be the easiest part of a relationship, in my opinion. Men are wired to want sex. Your guy should be so attracted to you that he wants sex a lot, and wants you to want it just as much, and wants to get you off every time. A guy who doesn't feel that way, or doesn't make you feel that way, has serious issues. It should always be a dealbreaker. Dump him unapologetically.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 01:37 AM
12

Transsexuals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 01:29 AM
21

DINKY ONE?! They couldn't come up with a better name? 🤣🤣🤣 "ratio of 71 percent male to 27 percent female and 2% transgender." I'd bet everything I own that in reality it's more like 71% male, 28% transgender, and 1% female.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 01:24 AM
32

This is hard. I've been there. But you just have to be honest and tell him he's a great guy, but you don't feel the spark and it's time for you both to move on. That's all you have to say. Sometimes it's just not the right fit, attraction wise. There's no logic to it. "I’m currently in therapy and we’ve talked about how I equate love with pain" But then there's this. Have you asked yourself how you'd feel about him if he didn't seem so interested/attentive to you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 06:50 PM
7

Then if the cost isn't prohibitive, I'd try it. Why not? I'm a big fan of trying new things if the old things aren't working. Are you locked into a contract or can you cancel any time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 06:28 PM
71

A month is not long enough to be committed to anybody, and dating will get a lot easier when you train yourself to not get emotionally invested early. Dating multiple men helps enormously with that. The 29 year old is a ephebophile. Obviously he thinks a 23 year old is over the hill. Anything over 17 is old to him. He belongs in his mother's basement wanking to anime porn all day. 🙄 Edit: Actually, he belongs in jail.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 05:11 PM
2

See my response above!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 11:52 PM
11

Lol I have TERRIBLE rbf at the gym. That is the one place I truly hate being bothered, plus my workouts are usually short and intense so I'm concentrating and breathing heavy. So I'd use OP's method in the gym-- targeting a particular guy and basically putting yourself in his line of sight and smiling at him. Examples in other places: One of the guys I'm seeing I met at a party where I knew absolutely no one except the bday guest of honor and her bf. So I walk into this big loud party at a bar a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 11:52 PM
36

Lmao that there's a MaleDatingStrategy sub 🤣 I can only imagine that dumpster fire. But hey, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 11:34 PM
3

Wow, I'm really shocked that heterosexual sex appears to be primarily about getting men off! -said nobody ever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 07:39 PM
16

He shoud've had the balls to tell her he wasn't interested in anything further. That goes without saying. She shouldn't be having first date sex with guys she's interested in, that also goes without saying. But he didn't ghost/block her because she had sex on the first date. He did it because she was clingy and needy and tried to push an entire relationship on him right out of the gate. Now, we know this guy was low value because of how he handled it, but even a HVM will back away from this beha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 06:46 PM
9

Patti Stanger. That was the only dating show I'd ever watch. She was fantastic. Very FDS before there was FDS!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 05:52 PM
30

YES! This is exactly how you do it! Smile, be friendly and approachable. Let me tell you, I have been focusing on doing this for the past six months and it REALLY works! 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 05:30 PM
19

Yes, we get it from both sides. It's ironic... libfems attack us for perpetuating traditional gender roles, basically not being feminist enough. And then the incels attack us for being too feminist. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 10:54 PM
7

Yup. Particularly if it seems TERFy. They seem very intent on painting us with the transphobic brush.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 10:46 PM
12

Of course we are. We're here, aren't we? They don't decide what subs get banned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 10:29 PM
15

It's the tradfem "men pursue/women allow" dynamic that ticks them off. They're anti-traditional gender roles. In their feminist world men and women are exactly the same and it doesn't matter who does what.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 10:26 PM
63

Men respond to actions, not words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 08:13 PM
111

If someone here posted bragging about marrying a rich guy she didn't care about and making him take her on extravagant shopping trips and treating him like a servant and never giving him any sex, we'd blast her. But on the MRA subs, this kind of behavior is applauded.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 08:07 PM
12

Omg loved it!! I was never really a fan but I sure am now. She was so real. Her recounting of the Kanye VMA incident and aftermath was heartbreaking. Same with the groping/assault lawsuit. And I honestly did not realize she wrote all her own songs. She's very talented. I am repulsed by Kanye and Kim. They are trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 07:54 PM
42

Lol I knew it! Incel fanfic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 07:48 PM
11

Hard pass. Just personal preference. I like the big rugged guy type.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 07:47 PM
298

I'll take "incel wet dreams" for $1000, Alex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 07:43 PM
10

Ok, so you're obviously attractive... the issue is how you present and carry yourself. It definitely matters. You need to change your mindset. A high value woman doesn't wonder if a man will be interested in her. She assumes men are interested in her, because she's attractive and interesting. So what does that mean in terms of action? That means you walk through life smiling at people (men and women both) and making eye contact and sometimes even small talk with a stranger while standing in line…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 05:41 PM
20

And if you are really resisting the block or unfriending as too dramatic, the "unfollow" and "mute" functions are pretty magical, too. You can go on fb and ig with zero fear that you'll see anything of theirs in your feed or stories. And they have no idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 03:22 PM
37

And Emily knows exactly what she's doing, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 03:11 PM
55

Ugh. So LV. I used to respond to this kind of thing with "lol have we even gone out yet?" or similar but really, the best response is no response. There is literally nothing he can say to rehab himself anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 03:08 PM
2

Right. It's how guys roll, too. They're not going to commit to you if you're in multiple sexual RLs and refusing to be exclusive until you get a ring. The only way to rotate to engagement is not to have sex with any of them. Personally, there's no way I am taking sex out of the equation, but I also don't feel the need to rotate til engagement. I rotate until I'm ready to be in an exclusive relationship with an HVM that wants that from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 03:02 PM
35

Years ago I dated a guy like this, one of three brothers, mom was actually a former nun. One time I had my period and was telling him that it was heavy on the first two days then super light... nothing particularly graphic but he just flipped out. "Ewwww don't talk about it, i don't want to hear about it" hands over his ears like a big whiny baby. It was such a huge turnoff. I looked at him like he was nuts then I laughed at him and told him he was acting like a 14 year old virgin. Needless to s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 02:53 PM
34

What an idiot. I'd start wrapping them in his socks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 02:40 PM
6

Sad. This is what a relationship with an avoidant-attacher looks like. You can't get blood from a stone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 10:13 PM
17

True. I think the difference is whether it's a sexual relationship. In your example, the woman isn't having sex before marriage. Without that, yes I think rotation up until engagement can work. Obviously things are different now and women are having sex before marriage. In sexual relationships I still think men want to see evidence of sexual fidelity before marriage, i.e. committing to him as an exclusive girlfriend. I just don't see an HVM proposing to a woman who is in multiple sexual relation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 10:06 PM
31

I love the idea in theory, but I think it would be tough to do this. Most guys are going to want some indication of fidelity before agreeing to marry you. I'd love to be wrong about it, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 08:28 PM
45

They should be skipping sex and affection and domestic duties, too. And extend it to one month. If every woman did that, men would implode. They'd pretty much agree to anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 08:22 PM
10

This. ALL DAY EVERY DAY ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/03/20 08:08 PM
16

He's fielding other women. Do not ask him out! Just start fading on him. He'll either step up or step out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 04:35 PM
23

No matter what the "arrangement", you want and deserve to be with a man who cares for you, respects you, and wants to pleasure you. This guy is none of those things. Delete his number.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 04:29 PM
52

I used to think she was annoying (why? I don't even know) to the extent I thought of her at all. But I just watched her documentary... and wow. I'm now officially a huge fan.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 04:15 PM
4

I understand where you're coming from, but the reality is that you will dramatically decrease the pool of men willing to date you. Sex is important to HVM, too. This arrangement will only appeal to low-T beta guys, probably with some sexual dysfunctions, who are looking for fully platonic companionship. That's just not a lot of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 04:08 PM
25

Exactly. There's no downside. She can leave him and get her own place. Then she's paying rent to herself PLUS getting child support and alimony (which will be substantial based on his income and the high differential between their incomes) and whatever assets allowed by the prenup. This dumbass husband has no idea how good he has it right now, and how bad he'll have it if she wakes up and realizes she's being played.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 04:09 AM
22

OLD sucks but if you use it right it can be a useful complement to your dating strategy. You have to vet OLD guys ruthlessly and postpone sex even longer than you might if you were dating a guy you met through real-life connections. I still have profiles up and I met a guy on Hinge who's still in my rotation but my two main HVM potentials are guys I met offline. I've been focusing on "offline" dating a lot more and it's worked much better than OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 03:58 AM
103

Honey, you let LVM trash like this know they've disappointed you by not responding in the first place. By not giving them one iota of attention. I take it you met him online, you slept with him, he wasn't interested in anything further and he ghosted/deleted your number? When a guy like that reappears, you ignore and block his ass. He's dead to you. A nothing. He's not even worth three milliseconds of your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 03:45 AM
39

Lol he's a lawyer? She should ask him if he's calculated what his child support payments would be if she moves out and files for it. These women, though. 🤦‍♀️ Stop having kids with losers who won't marry you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 03:30 AM
74

Not only would I stop paying rent, I'd threaten to stop working entirely. See how he likes them apples. What's he going to do, divorce her? Good luck, buddy. A prenup never protects you from child support, and a guy making $195k will pay through the nose. She really has all the leverage in this situation. I hope she starts using it. Here's a woman who is wearing herself out being a good wife and mom AND bringing in substantial income. And this is how she gets treated. What a stupid loser he is. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 03:08 AM
74

Not really. I'm always prepared to pay, just in case. And if that happens, I'm prepared to never see him again. Not that you're going to wind up at Starbucks on date again, but instead of going up to order myself I would have simply taken a seat and waited for him to ask me what I wanted. Now, I'm 90% sure it would not have made a difference with this loser. But overall it does a better job communicating that you expect him, as the man and initiator of the date, to take charge and order and pay …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 11:22 PM
28

Yea, I'm as white as they come and I'd launch this racist fuck so far into the stratosphere he'd need a time machine to get to his custody hearings.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 11:07 PM
1

Ugh. Well, you're well rid of him. Rest assured he's the same jackass with her as he was with you. She just decides to put up with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 10:19 PM
20

"at the beginning where he said he was interested but wanted to take things slow" So HE said that, and now he's complaining that things are too slow? Lol. "For the past two dates, it’s felt like just hanging out with a friend, even though he’s been paying for everything, but not really making any moves aside from that." Not even trying to kiss you? That's not really normal. Waiting for sex is one thing, but we want to feel that the man is attracted to us, at least. Ironic that despite him not ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 09:59 PM
49

Yea, this has a clingy/needy vibe to it. Three dates is nothing. Has he initiated any convos about how he feels about you or where he sees it going... other than complaining that you're dating others? (And how does he know that? From your OLD profiles being up?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 09:33 PM
6

I'd never recommend turning down a proper date with a guy you're interested in, as a strategy. It just makes no sense. A man who sticks around doing stuff for you after you've friendzoned him is LV. High value men have options. They're not going to hover around a woman who's rejected them. Agreeing to be a gf-- different timeline and yes, you should make him wait for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 08:59 PM
136

Absolutely. They're the ones who accept being friendzoned and still hover around you, or friendzone themselves by orbiting you without asking you out, in the hope you'll "pick" them by initiating something. These guys are low-T and/or lazy. If you date them, you'll end up being the man in the relationship. Then you'll also have to deal with their passive-aggressive resentments and insecurities that inevitably come out because you're emasculating them by being the man in the relationship. Even th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 08:44 PM
6

Oh God, this has happened to me and i know EXACTLY how she feels. It's such a gross, creepy, inappropriate feeling. Like your own dad is hitting on you. And you feel betrayed, in a way. Like you thought he really cared about you as a father figure and all along he was trying to get in your pants. Ugh. It really sucks. I don't "blame" these guys for the attraction, we can't control who we're attracted to. But I do blame them for acting on it. They know it isn't reciprocated, so why lay it on us? …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 08:33 PM
5

Personally, it only matters to me in the extremes. So small that I can't feel anything is (obviously) very bad. There is such a thing as too big. Not that it won't go in, but that it starts to hurt after a short while. I don't want sex to just be a short while 😔 What is considered "too big" I'm sure varies by the woman's individual anatomy and experience. Beyond those extremes, I don't care so much as long as he's otherwise a good lover.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 08:19 PM
14

This relationship is not what you want. So you need to not be in it. It's as simple as that. Never, ever accept less than what you want because the sex is good, or you think if you wait it will get better, or [insert any reason here]. Just end it. Stop responding to them. Block. Move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 07:58 PM
3

Nice, congrats sis! It's great when you have all that history, too. Much easier to vet a guy when you knew him previously and didn't just meet him on OLD👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 07:54 PM
15

I think it's more innate than we'd like it to be. We're pretty much born with our general personality. Think about good, stable families you know where there are multiple siblings. There's usually one who's a loser. He was raised just like the others, but it didn't matter. He was a bent pin from the start. That said, with the exception of severe ASDs or maliganant narcissists, people can certainly improve on their personalities. But that's only if they're motivated to do it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 07:40 PM
20

"Recently I was at making small talk with some older people (in their 40s) and one of the men said something like "dating gets easier with age...well for men it does, not for women"." Well sure, if he has low standards like most LVM do. But honestly, because of my work i am in contact with a lot of people 40 and up and from what I see (and I have been observing), attractive women of ANY age have no problems dating. I would say that the 40+ women who are the most successful with men have two thin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 11:04 PM
8

What's so scary is that there are women upon whom this works, or else they wouldn't even bother to try it. It's mind-boggling.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 10:46 PM
160

Little gifts for a bf are nice, but I really have no idea why you'd invest that kind of money in a man who isn't at LEAST your fiance, with a ring and a wedding date set. It's just incredible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 10:40 PM
0

Or she removed it herself because you scolded her. Try to remember not every post here is for you, or directed to you. If it doesn't interest you, move on. There's no need to be snippy. Even if a question is asked before, the responses are different and there are different and fresh perspectives in the responses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 10:29 PM
1

I am currently dating two really awesome guys I met offline. The first was a setup by my friend's HVM boyfriend (one of his friends). Always say yes to these setups if they're coming from a HVM-- a HVM guy usually has HVM friends. The other I met at a party that I basically forced myself to go to. My advice is to go out to things you might not normally do. Accept invitations and be outgoing and positive and fun. You really never know who you'll meet. Make a list of hobbies and things that intere…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 07:57 PM
1

Then don't read and respond to it. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 07:48 PM
85

If this sub weren't so effective, they wouldn't get so angry. The truth hurts, LVMs. They could always level up themselves and put in the work to attract and keep a high quality woman. But they'd rather bitch and wail about how they're entitled to riches, fame, and an endless supply of sex because they were born with a penis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 07:44 PM
15

Her mistake is going to their houses and doing gf-type casual "dinners" and NnCs and fooling around on their couches with her top off and dry humping while still insisting no sex. That's a big mixed message to a man. They get confused and pissed. She's entitled to do whatever she wants of course, and the LVM whining about blue balls is a turnoff, but the reality is that guys do get annoyed if you're sending mixed sexual messages. It's much better to keep the lines crystal clear. If you're not re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 04:25 PM
12

Well done, sis. And congrats on the job!! 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 04:07 PM
12

You have to cut contact. I realize you broke up with him, but it sounds like you did that because he wasn't much of a boyfriend. So basically, you are making yourself be friends with a guy you like romantically, who doesn't feel the same way about you. That's a recipe for frustration and heartbreak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 04:04 PM
15

He will probably try to stay in touch, and you'll be tempted to do that. But don't. I know it's tough. But it will prevent you from moving on, which you really have to do because you have no control over what he does. And you have to set your boundary and make him live with the consequences of his decision, which is that he no longer has the benefit of having the wonderful light of you in his life. He HAS to feel that consequence. And cutting him off doesn't reduce the chances of him wanting you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 03:59 PM
65

Inability to apologize. Huge red flag. My ex literally could not say the words "I'm sorry." He would sometimes ACT sorry by trying to fix whatever he did, but he just couldn't apologize. Going forward I'm fully prepared to launch any and every man interested in me who can't say a sincere "I'm sorry" when he's clearly and objectively fucked up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 03:47 PM
11

Sometimes it just doesn't work out, even with HVM. It's not a reflection on you at all. All you can do is move forward with your life. If it's meant to be, he'll be back. If it isn't, then he won't. There's no way at all to know, and you should not wait around for him. There are millions of men out there. Don't fall into the scarcity mindset trap of thinking you'll never find anyone like him again. If you can attract one HVM, you can attract plenty of others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 03:21 PM
160

She didn't negotiate an open relationship, she negotiated herself into being his side chick. Example #286,729 of a woman who accepts less than she really wants by convincing herself that she's "cool girl" enough to handle it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 03:14 PM
4

"If he doesn't want high thread count flowery sheets, he can fuck right off back to his neckbeard nest with sheets that stand straight from filth" That is some Queen shit right there 😂👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:20 PM
14

My thoughts exactly. I don't think blocking is gonna be enough, Yukli.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:18 PM
14

I ❤ you for summarizing 😂 This is pretty much on target. If you don't do 5, you don't have to worry about 3! Glamour is in the eye of the beholder. I'm not sure what that means, either. It's always better to overdress than underdress, in my opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:12 PM
25

trays with plastic silverware ....yeah, no. There's just no reason for that. Not when there are so many upscale casual places that aren't crazy expensive that have actual napkins and silverware. That's like grabbing lunch on the go with a colleague. It's not a date vibe at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:07 PM
127

The weight she needs to lose is him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:55 PM
13

It's fine that he's dating others. It's not fine to rub her face in it. There's just no reason to do that, other than trying to make her insecure and stimulate competition. Same with women. It's fine (and encouraged) to date around if you're not in an exclusive relationship. But you certainly don't rub a guy's nose in it. It's just tacky.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:51 PM
60

Lol. I bet the closest Drew's ever gotten to Harvard University is trolling the gift shop 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 04:08 AM
10

Nah, it's just not the same thing for me. I like face to face. I can't get a sense of the guy's body, posture, gestures, etc... all important for me to decide if I'm baseline attracted to him. It's the equivalent to meeting a guy organically in a bar-- you will initially chat a bit and establish some mutual attraction. But then you expect to be asked out. I've really had no problems with it at all. You just have to be clear it's a quick meetup and not a date, and if he wants to pursue anything y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 03:59 AM
79

It means he's an ass and you're going to block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 02:15 AM
16

I think they are better at faking it than we are. While it's true that men on the whole aren't as compassionate and empathetic as we are, they do have feelings. But they're socialized to not express them, or express them differently. When we're hurt we tend to be introspective, talk to friends, etc. Men get angry, go into "I don't give a shit" mode, go out and get drunk, get into rebound relationships. From the outside it looks like moving on... but it really isn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 02:11 AM
9

Happiness is an inside job. If you make your own happiness, it's easier to identify and get rid of men in your life who aren't adding to that happiness. Or worse, men who subtracting from it. Congrats on getting rid of yours👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 02:05 AM
15

The old saying is that it takes half as long as the relationship lasted to fully get over it. So if your RL was longer than a year... sure, it can take that long. If you're making improvements and moving forward, then you're doing fine!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 01:50 AM
16

I see wayyyy more men picking gfs based on looks than personality. They'll pick the psycho/bitchy 9 over the sweet 5 any day of the week, even if they know it won't last. Guys who end up with women they were never really attracted to to begin with are usually the ones with few options, or they're looking for a nursemaid or meal ticket, and that's more important to them than sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 01:46 AM
26

It isn't a fwb unless he's an actual friend. If he won't hang out with her without having sex... they ain't friends. Guys who freak out over women's periods-- regardless of the nature of the relationship-- are LVM. Full stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 01:30 AM
15

These are excellent 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 01:26 AM
30

I do coffee/drinks "meets" off OLD as a quick pre-date check to make sure they look like their photos, aren't crazy, and most importantly, someone I'm at least moderately attracted to. I am very upfront that it will be a quick meetup for that purpose and if we like each other, I'll be agreeable to going out on a proper date. And then I sit back and wait for him to do the work of asking me out and making plans. This has worked well for me. I think guys like it too. I've never had a guy try to Net…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 01:25 AM
25

Yep. Ignore them when they're bad, reward them when they're good. Just like dogs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 01:32 PM
23

I don't think he's even asking you out, sis. I think he thinks you were agreeing to come to his place and MAKE dinner. Oy😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:50 PM
8

Online dating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:45 PM
12

A 25 year old incel who's hoping his dating prospects improve when women hit the mythical "Wall". Spoiler: They won't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:43 PM
5

Laughing at them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:36 PM
17

Just don't abandon your life and interests for him and it should be fine. Excessive availability is giving up things you care about (including your "me" time) to spend time with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:16 PM
20

Men have lower attractiveness standards for sex than they do for relationships. So the answer to your question is probably yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:08 PM
38

OLD is slim pickings, you have to be prepared to vet men very aggressively. I still have profiles up, but in the last year or so I made a conscious effort to join groups and get out more to places where I could meet men in my target demographic and that's worked sooo much better! I'm currently seeing two HVM-potential guys that I met offline. OLD is not totally worthless imo, but it's not for the faint of heart and you've got to be even more ruthless with vetting than usual.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 05:05 PM
15

Agreed. I only date really fit guys now (I'm into fitness myself) and I haven't had any problems with this now that I weed out the sedentary/unhealthy guys. I think lifestyle plays a huge part in ED among younger men. Porn addiction is definitely part of the problem, but I don't think it's the whole problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 03:56 PM
48

What a dirtbag. But as we know, LVM are everywhere. If you're using OLD for hookups, then you're going to end up having bad sex with a lot of LVMs. Better to have a bad date with an LVM and weed him out BEFORE sex, than find out during sex and feel empty about it after.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 03:16 PM
19

Agreed. A lot of the advice is very FDS. I appreciate men who are honest about their approach to women and dating and relationships. It may not be pretty, but it's good info that we can really use. You'll get way better advice from these books than from men in dating forums, who will tell you "don't be afraid to ask men out" and "just be easy to be with, and he'll like you" and other hideously awful and damaging bullshit that is designed to make life easy and casual for men at our expense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 03:01 PM
3

No one is too old for FDS. "Still, it is difficult to see myself as desirable, and that is likely why I've attracted/allowed in such undesirable men." Yes, absolutely this. We attract what we are (or what we think we are). Try getting out of your own head more and just observing how you interact with people. Our ego tells us stories that are usually not true. I think you'll find that men do look at you and smile at you and people would like to talk to you. Sometimes all it takes is making the sm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 02:19 PM
36

After you become exclusive, it's really just about what the two of you prefer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 02:06 PM
6

Personally, I like coffee/drink "dates" (I call them "meets") off OLD as a FIRST meet because I'm completely uncomfortable committing myself to a whole dinner with a guy I've never laid eyes on. I tell guys this right up front. My preference is to meet up for a quick drink to see if there's any spark. Way too many guys lie about their age or look nothing like their photos. I want to make sure I'm actually attracted to the man (and vice versa of course) before I agree to an actual date. So I keep…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 02:02 PM
41

Look out for not just compliment-withholding but also negging. Normally we talk about negging in the flirting/dating "game strategy" context but it's a control strategy in toxic relationships too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 02:38 AM
53

Even non-narc LVMs do this. They like catching someone above their league, but then their insecurities kick in and they can't handle being with someone they're so afraid of losing to a better guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 02:31 AM
3

Yeah, I can see the content even when I don't accept. (Which I never do)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 02:28 AM
-10

Lol. Any other personal insults you want to fling at me or PrettyCicada? You don't know the first thing about me, but go ahead and throw the insults, it doesn't bother me at all. You seem like a very angry person. But I hope you have a good night nonetheless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 02:24 AM
-14

"So I guess I’ll just hide or block any threads that mention it." That's a great idea. Because it obviously triggers you and causes you to go off on angry judgmental rants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 02:06 AM
54

"He asked me if I would be upset" Which is such a db move because he knows you can't say he's a dick, he's the client. You have to be polite. Fuck this guy. Your response was perfect, by the way. I hope his non-girlfriend is dating about 16 other men who are all hotter and richer and have much bigger dicks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 01:59 AM
46

It's really common to get down on yourself after dumping a LVM. You think, why did I put up with this guy? Why did I even attract him in the first place? But try to reframe it. Look at it as: you gave this man an opportunity; it's not your fault that he blew it. You took the very high value step of dumping his ass when he didn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. That's something to be proud of. And there are always lessons for next time... maybe looking back there were red flags that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 01:50 AM
14

You can reorder them by "newest"-- or at least I can on my phone. That's what I always do. I don't care at all about upvotes, either mine or anyone else's. I'd rather respond to posts from newbies needing help and support that get buried by all the rants and memes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 01:35 AM
10

That's another problem too. I see "seeking advice" posts get buried in memes and rants and the poster ends up with no responses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 01:32 AM
-3

Yup. Exactly this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 01:30 AM
3

Just deny it. Ben doesn't know who else knows... hell, his worker's mistress's ex friend could've found out and done it. Anyone could have. Just deny, no one can prove anything. But yeah, next time wait a week or so to give yourself some cover 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:29 AM
3

Absolutely. I mean, a couple weeks ago there was a flood of "if you have a fwb you're low value and being used" posts by various morality hysterics and it was ridiculous. Enough already. If you don't want a fwb don't have one. But enough with judging those of us who (successfully) do. It was really getting obsessive, and almost creepy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:22 AM
-2

I love strategy posts and I always appreciate your posts, especially the "FWB as strategy" one which, in my own experience, was dead on accurate. People need to accept that while there are guidelines, there is no strict formula to successful dating. What works for some might not work for others. Just because something doesn't work for you, doesn't mean it's wrong or bad. If you don't like the advice, don't take it and just move on to something else. Bashing and shaming and putting others down is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:17 AM
3

There's only so much you can do for someone. If her problems are affecting you negatively, you really should distance yourself. Don't sacrifice your wellbeing for someone who isn't being much of a friend to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 10:52 PM
9

He's a player/fuckboy. Why bother? Your only move is to do nothing. He's used to doing the bare minimum (such as liking insta stories) and having chicks fall over him with responses. So don't do that. Wait for him to initiate a real conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 10:26 PM
18

100% this and that's how it should be! The only unconditional love should be from parent to child, and from yourself TO yourself. All other relationships need to be conditional or else we'll lose ourselves to abusers and scammers and manipulators. I'll stay in love with a quality man who loves and respects me, but if something changes and he starts treating me like shit, then he loses my love. No apologies, no excuses. I love myself first and always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 10:20 PM
69

I'm in the Northeast and I 100% agree! If I insist on paying for myself with a guy, it's because I'm treating the relationship as "just friends". If a guy lets me pay, I will always assume he's not interested in me romantically. Every single time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 10:14 PM
2

Oh of course you can! And in the original example, if the guy took the $3k or whatever he spent on himself for gifts and spent that on her ring, he could get a very nice, decent size loose diamond and have it set for minimal cost. He just didn't give a damn. And his gaslighting afterwards was shameful and disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 10:06 PM
44

"As any LVM does, he reappeared on Instagram 4 years later. Liking every single picture I had." Lol OF COURSE. Why is this always the ending? They are so predictable 😂 Sometimes you gotta hit a low to start your bounce up into the highs. You lived and learned and are still learning, and that's the best anyone can do. We've ALL done cringeworthy things... you are not alone. Just keep moving forward!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 09:59 PM
6

Why do men think they can get away with this nonsense? It just amazes me how dumb some of them are. My friend had something similar happen to her. Huge diamond engagement ring with one center stone and two smaller stones on each side. It turned out the center stone was fake. Her fiance was trying to save $$. The smaller stones were real (and very pretty). PSA for all the male lurkers we know are out there: even if we don't need the ring resized, we have to get it appraised if we're going to insu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 09:45 PM
3

Yikes, that's bad. I'm assuming he knew it was your birthday. Don't waste your time writing paragraphs about your feelings. He knows it's bad to not acknowledge the birthday of a woman he's been dating. I'd just ghost him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 09:23 PM
15

I'm glad you aren't doing it anymore. It's one of the very worst moves a woman can make in relationships and dating. Under any and all circumstances. I've never asked a man out in my life. And while I've done some pickme things in previous relationships and had to deal with LVM like we all have, I have never ever had to worry about the guy's level of interest in me right out of the gate. And that's because I always wait for the guy to take the lead and ask me out and make the plans. A masculine …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 09:04 PM
12

She sounds like she has a lot of issues with straight women. I give zero fucks about what other people do with their lives, but I'm never going to feel bad about being what I am, and I'm not interested in hanging around anyone who tries to make me feel otherwise. She sounds like a lot of bad energy and self-loathing. It's too bad, but it's her problem to fix, not yours. I'd just fade out on her. Be busy when she wants to get together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 08:50 PM
13

I actually do think some of them are that dumb. I do think that some of it is cluelessness. But it really doesn't matter. I'm not in the business of schooling guys on how to act in relationships. So I don't waste time anymore trying to figure out if a guy's bad behavior is intentional or just the product of cluelessness. I just reject them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 08:42 PM
6

Mark Manson is great. And this is exactly what I tell my friends when they excuse LVM behavior with "but I know he really loves me!!" Ok, he loves you... but so what? Love doesn't justify shitty behavior or fix relationship incompatibilities. Once you really get that, it's life changing. It's a lot easier to dump the LVMs in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 05:20 PM
6

Our instincts are usually right. If you feel him pulling away, he probably is. The only thing to do is lean way back (no texting or calling) and see what he does, or just cut him off completely. Either way, you should be firing up your dating rotation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 04:59 PM
4

If you haven't met him yet, don't entertain this nonsense. I only allow this kind of text exchange for a few days and then if he doesn't ask me out, I stop responding. It's a true waste of time. GM/GD texts are only sweet and cute when they're from a guy who makes an effort to see you consistently in real life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 09:15 PM
15

Yeah, that's a dealbreaker. I don't even like Vday but I would at least expect a phone call, some acknowledgment of the holiday. I mean, come on. Every man in every country that recognizes it knows they have to do SOMETHING for the day. They absolutely know it. He can't claim ignorance, it's ridiculous. I'm sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:54 PM
11

True, although we don't have the luxury of men's physical strength in case things turn violent. So there's that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:48 PM
278

God, this so perfectly describes so many guys I've dated (or, as I got woke, decided not to date). It's tempting to try to help the LV guy up to your level. You tell yourself that once you help him up, he'll "get it" and stay there all on his own. NOPE. No he won't. He'll fall right back down, and need you to help him up again. He'll beg and plead. You'll feel bad for him. He means well, right? Your arm will get so tired. And eventually he'll resent you for helping, because it just proves he can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:42 PM
12

"It's been fun, but we're different people who are looking for different things, and it's time to move on. Good luck." He'll know why, trust me. They know. Don't let him gaslight you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 03:25 AM
10

Hate to break it to you, but I worked in sex offender therapy programs for years. It's about sex a lot more than you think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 03:15 AM
105

LOL is that supposed to be a sex swing? In the corner of a filthy cluttered garage next to an empty cereal bowl and box of cheezits? Wtf. I'd swipe left so hard my finger would break the glass🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 07:39 PM
49

"I assume they would have felt guilty and disgusting" Yup. They know. Doesn't stop them from watching those videos, though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 07:02 PM
47

No, this happened in 2009 and it was taken down, finally, in 2010. But since PH allows downloads... it still lives in the sick little porn corners of the internet. Like a virus that never goes away. Per the article, PH has new owners now and 5 years ago put in "stricter" controls and policies re reporting/monitoring/removal of unauthorized content. But looks like they still allow downloads and that's a big part of the problem. By the time they take something like this down, a million sickos have…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 07:00 PM
50

It's called basic thoughtfulness. And most men don't have it. My ex was like this. In your mushroom hypothetical, I would have had to actually say "I hate mushrooms. Please don't ever get me anything with mushrooms." And then sure, he wouldn't ever do it. But if I didn't say it, he'd never pay attention enough to my diet preferences to figure it out. I actually don't expect men to be as considerate and thoughful as women are. But there is a basic level of empathy and thoughtfulness that any man …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 06:28 PM
166

Lol! If sexbots keep LVM happy, non-procreating, and non-violent I'm 100% for it. Heck, I'd even donate to the cause.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 04:46 PM
29

I mean, if "watching porn while I'm labor delivering our child" isn't a dealbreaker, I don't know what else would be. How about watching porn in front of their child? Because that's what's next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 04:40 PM
81

He's 25 in dog years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 11:36 PM
-7

Not what I said. Fwb actually has a 100% failure rate if you use it incorrectly, i.e. settling for it when you want something more from him. 99.99% referred to the percentage of time women posting here were using it incorrectly. If you use it correctly, it works just fine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 10:50 PM
2

I am 100% here for cute doggie photos!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 10:42 PM
162

Omg if a man posted this they'd be raising the fucking roof Kanye-ing it up "WE WANT PRENUPPPPP" What hypocrites! They're not married and that's not his money. And by the way... in many US states even if they were married it still wouldn't be his money. She should NOT put it in a joint account. Here's a question I'd ask this scrote: "if she pays for everything, what are you doing with the money you're saving? Putting it into joint savings for your future with her?" I'd bet my left arm the answer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 10:21 PM
10

Yes, 6 weeks is a bit fast. You do not have to agree to a thing right now. Just go about your usual activities (not dropping anything for him), keep observing him, and enjoy yourself! Remember, even if it ends up not working out... it will have taught you what high value dating looks like. That will only help you going forward 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 09:58 PM
13

That scene with her dad "you bring me honor"-- I bawled. Ugly cried. It was so sweet. No surprise to anyone that the men who created the problem (one-child policy) now expect women to fix it. China is a great example of what happens when women are educated and economically self-sufficient. Despite high demand, many choose to be alone. That's why men so aggressively try to control us financially and sexually. If we have money and access to birth control, we don't need them. And that terrifies the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 09:49 PM
132

Ah, negging. How LVMs flirt. Always remember: they do this to chicks they think they can't get. They are hoping you're insecure enough to get upset by it and start validating yourself to win their approval. HVW just laugh and walk away... just like you did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 08:57 PM
18

"He constantly demeans me and acts like I’m too lazy/dumb to work, when HE’S the one that’s making it so difficult!" Get a job and tell him to go fuck himself. In that order.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 04:23 PM
53

I've really only works if you don't want a relationship with him. Most situations are not like that, which is why we get these posts over and over again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 12:40 PM
38

You'd have to date and vet him properly. Basically, you're starting from scratch. He has to ask you out and spend quality non-sexual time with you on a consistent basis before you sleep with him again. But this is generally not what happens when things start out the way they did with you two, so I wouldn't get your hopes up. Your best bet is to forget about him and get out there and live life and meet other men. If you meet one you like, don't casually sleep with him right off the bat, so you do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 03:07 AM
60

"He also drunk told my best friend that he still likes me but still isn’t ready for a relationship yet wants me back as a FWB." You can't be fwb with a guy if you want more than that. At all. Ever. It's the road to heartbreak. "Can I fuck him now if I can put my feelings aside or is that a bad idea?" That is a bad idea, because you will not be able to put your feelings aside. In fact, they will almost certainly deepen. Don't do it. When/if he's ready for a relationship he can ask you out properl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 02:41 AM
22

Women, even the most beautiful ones, tend to focus on their flaws. And everybody's got some kind of flaw. If I just go on what men say and how they react to me and general level of male attention, I guess I'm attractive. But personally I think my face is average and even a little weird looking. We are WAY harder on ourselves than men are on themselves, that's for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 01:46 AM
1

Well if you've told him you expect to orgasm first no matter what is going on in the heat of the moment, and he keeps orgasming first and saying he thought you wanted him to... then no, that's not a mistake. A mistake would be him orgasming first because he couldn't help it (i.e. him trying to pull out of your mouth because he was about to come and you not letting him.) But it doesn't sound like that's what is happening. He may not like your boundary, he may find it hard to deal with, he may fin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 01:28 AM
11

I think it's a "men's rights" fantasy theory. They want us to buy it so we'll couple up with incels for the sake of a safe society. 🙄 Most rapists can and do get laid voluntarily. They just hate women, and get off on the violence and power and degradation of forced sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 01:20 AM
6

The most important thing is how you feel about it, not what we think. That said, if you were giving him a sustained handjob or blowjob and moved away from him when he tried to pleasure you, I can see how he could have reasonably assumed you were ok with him orgasming first. It could have been a simple misunderstanding, where he really did not mean to violate your boundaries or hurt or scare you. But now he knows. So if he does it again... well, that's different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 01:12 AM
46

I will never forget being 11-12 in the front seat of the car with my mom driving. I had shorts on and socks and I took my sneakers off and put my legs up on the dash, like I often did. All of a sudden my mother snapped at me "put your legs down right now! You can't do that!" Apparently a car kept pulling up to us and hovering on the passenger side, with the man leering at me. I remember being so confused. I was so young I honestly had no idea what the issue was. Imagine getting turned on by an 1…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 08:17 PM
46

Hell hath no fury like men who learn we judge them the way they judge us. And nobody ever said short guys were LVM. Some women strongly prefer tall guys and almost all women prefer to be shorter than their partner. We're allowed to have our preferences. Men are certainly not shy about having theirs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 08:06 PM
98

College age men are the worst. Keep that in mind. This is exactly the right mindset for college. Focus on you and your studies. You have years and years ahead of you to date and be in relationships and be married, if that's what you want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 07:35 PM
39

This is so refreshing to read because it's exactly how I feel. I actually enjoy dating. And I'm always in the drivers seat because I don't really care what happens. If the guy adds value to my life, great. I'll keep him around. If he doesn't, I'll cheerfully send him on his way. And you're 100% correct about it messing with men's heads when you lean way back and don't push anything at all! They get so confused. Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 07:33 PM
12

JFC. I'm glad you're okay! It's too bad you can't report him on Bumble too. Fucking predator.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 07:15 PM
334

Love this movie. My favorite part is when a couple bitchy girls were mocking the nerdy guy and she went up to him and pretended she was his girlfriend and he just broke her heart. Social proofed him to heighten his status. She had perfect girl game. Looks, brains, femininity while taking no shit. The Queen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 07:05 PM
5

That's hard. But you are young and you guys haven't been together long. It would be a mistake for you to limit your options for an LDR that isn't working for you. Don't be swayed by "I love yous"-- words are just words. If your needs aren't getting met, sweet talk doesn't mean much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:54 PM
12

The only couple I really liked together were Harry and Charlotte.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:49 PM
7

Say goodbye to him from the lobby of the hotel, not in front of your door. If you say what I wrote above and he starts pressuring you, I wouldn't worry much about politeness. Just walk away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:34 PM
14

Sounds like he's saying it to placate you. The smart play here is to tell him to enjoy his time home and you'll see him when he gets back. He's not making enough of an effort to justify a trip out to see him. And in the meantime, date others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:17 PM
11

And to answer your question: yes, he is absolutely expecting sex and there's nothing inherently "wrong" with that... it's his reaction when you say "no" or "not yet" that matters. Saying no on Friday: "I like you and I'm having a great time with you, but I'm not quite ready for that yet." Saying no on Saturday (if you want to): "I'm still not ready, but I like you a lot and would like to see you again."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:11 PM
17

Well, the setup for this was not great, since you basically invited yourself out there for the weekend. Ideally, he'd come to you, he'd pay for his hotel, and you'd be feeling no pressure. Or he would have invited you out there himself, which would obviously mean he pays to get you there. So you're not on the best footing. I would go out fully prepared to stick to my guns re intimacy, but also financially prepared to get myself back home if necessary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:00 PM
11

"It's hard to feel that balance sometimes, between him chasing and you also reciprocating interest ... " You really can't go wrong with mirroring. In my experience, if mirroring doesn't work it's either because he wasn't interested enough (which would have made for a terrible RL anyway) OR the guy is so insecure/beta/lazy he wants (needs) the woman to do all the work leading the RL. Either way, good riddance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 03:51 PM
4

This is easy. When they ghost you and try to come back... you don't let them come back. Him (after 3 weeks of silence): hey babe wyd? Been busy with work You: gone forever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 03:19 PM
43

I'm curious, has anyone here ever been successful in getting a guy banned? I've never tried to do it. Just wondering how responsive the apps are about this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 02:08 PM
25

Nine times out of ten, the red flags were waving well before the baby came. Don't have kids with low value men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 02:00 PM
104

And he was so incredibly racked with guilt about this terrible betrayal... that he did absolutely nothing for her for their anniversary 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 01:47 PM
19

I think the best approach is to browse together, pre-engagement, and point out rings you like so he gets a good idea of what you want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 01:19 AM
16

Absolutely. And a woman can kill herself looking as perfect as possible, and she'll still get criticized for aging. Men don't get a tenth of the grief women get for aging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 01:12 AM
28

What the hell? How would FDS advice ever encourage that? Classic projection from a delusional porn addicted limpdick incel 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 01:07 AM
45

The scrotes are HOT since that wsj article. I'm getting hate notes left and right and I'm not even making posts, just commenting 😂 It's honestly funny to me that these dudes claim we're full of shit yet they obsessively lurk here and take the time to send hate messages. If this is such BS, why waste your time? I don't waste my time at redpill or MGTOW or any of the other loser forums, because I couldn't care less what they think and they're honestly not worth my effort. But they seem to care wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 01:03 AM
25

So you think his lying, cheating, gaslighting, violence, teen porn consumption, drug use, lack of personal hygiene, and lack of ambition was somehow all caused by you sleeping with him on the third date? Come on. Sis, if we had that kind of power over their behavior we wouldn't even need to be here. He's LV all the way. Sure, LVM can have some nice traits. Ted Bundy had some nice traits, too. Don't let a couple nice traits distract you from a cold, hard, dispassionate analysis of the entire man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 08:53 PM
8

Yup. I'm with you. Whatever she still does for him, she does for the benefit of her kids. She wants them to be only minimally scarred by having such a loser dad. 90% of the time she's busy with her smoking hot rich boyfriend and probably drinking wine, enjoying life and not giving much of a thought to Ben Affleck's pasty washed up ass. I've always admired her. Good mom, classy chick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 07:23 PM
94

You should never settle for a man you're not attracted to. I think that's a huge mistake. But is it really a dealbreaker if a guy's 5'11, but ticks all the other boxes? Just be sure you're not mistaking preferences for dealbreakers because otherwise you dramatically narrow your pool of options.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 04:42 AM
21

I've watched some of his videos (mainly because he's cute and charming). He teaches you how to text-spar with LVM and fuckboys and that seems nice, but the reality is--- you deal with them by NOT dealing with them. I don't need advice on how to get a netflix and chill dude to ask me out, because I don't want to go out with a dude who's trying to get me over for netflix and chill. And that is the FDS difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 03:17 AM
110

I love when guys try to neg me, I think it's hilarious. And it's actually a compliment since they usually do it when they think they're playing above their league. (Not that I care.) One time I was talking to a guy in a bar, he was pulling all the cocky shit and eventually said he liked my look because he was looking for "a nice girl next door type, I haven't had luck with the really hot girls." LOL I winked and told him "you're not having much luck with them tonight, either" squeezed his arm an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 02:33 AM
180

Lol if he didn't find you attractive, he wouldn't be talking to you. So let's just get that out of the way. He's a LVM hard-negging you to see how you respond. He's hoping you'll take the bait and try to "prove" yourself attractive to him. This is how they look for easy prey. Which of course you're not going to do. Just block/ignore his sorry ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 02:13 AM
37

This. It's a cuckold fantasy thing. Pathetic and gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 02:08 AM
21

Is this the guy who likes young Thai girls? You should have bounced him already, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 01:43 AM
25

The guys that were going to ghost you anyway will mostly ghost you faster with FDS, because you're no longer doing their work for them. Some may enjoy the chase and game playing and last longer, but eventually they'll weed themselves out too. The big difference is with HVM. HVM you may have turned off with non-FDS behavior (triple texting, girlfriend-like behavior and demands after a few dates, extreme neediness, etc) won't be ghosting or slow fading as much anymore. Because you are showing high…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 11:19 PM
64

Omg they are gaslighting the hell out of her. Fucking awful. The hell with internet advice, I want to FULLY INHABIT this girl's body for 48 hours. I'll get this shit straight. 😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 09:36 PM
85

I started this before I knew FDS but... (1) Never initiating texts unless it's an established relationship with consistent reciprocity. (2) Not responding to texts or texting patterns I don't like, vs. being reactive or passive aggressive. Changed everything, literally overnight. LVMs and lukewarm guys weeded themselves right out. It was beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 08:16 PM
90

I'd kickstart the hell out of this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 08:04 PM
363

It's a real invention, but it's never been produced or sold anywhere. As much as I love the idea of rapists hobbling screaming into emergency rooms with spike filled condoms on their dicks, I can see the problems with it. Unless it immediately and completely incapacitates the man, it puts the victim in greater danger-- now he's even more enraged, and she's even more likely to be severely injured or killed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 04:57 PM
6

Of course it was justified. He wanted out of the relationship and was too chickenshit to tell you. So he ignored you instead. Classic LVM behavior. Just cut him completely out of your life and move on. In the future, don't entertain hot and cold behavior from a guy you're interested in. Nip it right in the bud. When he's cold, you ghost his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 04:23 PM
35

Lol. Might as well just write MARRIED across the profile in type 58 font 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 03:43 AM
17

So he drains his body of excellence every morning? Sounds about right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/02/20 03:29 AM
99

Two things: It's mostly LVM in those places. Think about it. Do you think HVM spend a lot of time on porn and redpill subs? They don't need that shit. They're out living real lives with real women they respect, and who respect them. Also, men are at their worst in all-male (or anonymous) groups. They try to one-up each other with pseudo alpha male bullshit. We've all seen it in real life. A lot of these dudes are sad little posers posting from mom's basement. They pretend to objectify women to l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 09:45 PM
36

Also because they feel inadequate. Deep down they know they don't have what it takes to be a good father and role model. Those feelings of incompetence and inferiority make them frustrated and angry. And guess who they'll take that out on? You got it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 07:51 PM
16

It's a good lesson. I lift heavy and I'm pretty strong for my size. I can still be overpowered by a man. Biology is biology. Self defense classes are great and all that, but don't let them give you a false sense of security. Your best bet to keep safe is to be hypervigilant, listen to your gut, and quickly get away from men/situations that don't feel right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 05:01 PM
20

Yup. I'm a gym rat and bottom line, men suck at cardio and endurance. They can outlift me (of course) but then I kick their ass on the treadmill. Men get injured more at the gym because they overload weights and don't watch their form.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:55 PM
157

This. If women stopped breeding with LVM we could solve a lot of societal problems. Granted, the world population would plunge 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:27 PM
83

In theory, I love it. In reality-- men will never take a pill that messes with their testosterone and sperm production, even if it's temporary. They just won't do it. So it's a nonstarter of an idea. (Which is why it's been talked about for years and years and nothing ever happens.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:23 PM
19

I wonder how the MGTOWs are feeling today? Their chances of getting this sub shut down just went from slim to less than none 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:16 PM
10

This is amazing. Prepare for incel onslaught, though. If you thought we were hated before... 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:07 PM
448

Omg! This is the WALL STREET JOURNAL, ladies. 💪💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 04:04 PM
32

The "Dreamgirl" philosophy helps you avoid LVM. They'll move on to easier pickings. Or they'll just orbit around you, hoping you lower your standards and pick them. But also-- LVM or HVM, men don't value what they don't have to work for, and you can turn off a HVM with non-FDS behavior. A HVM is looking for a quality woman who respects herself and has that "dreamgirl" standard. And even HVM can get lazy in relationships from time to time. Nobody's perfect. FDS keeps men in line when they start g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 03:59 PM
29

What the actual fuck? Like this girl hasn't been through enough? I hope the airline can identify him. She should press charges against this disgusting piece of trash. The article notes that sexual assaults on airplanes are increasing-- gee, I wonder why? The airlines' sardine-can seating jams men right up against us for long periods of time, often in the dark. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what might go wrong. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 03:23 AM
34

"He never looked at her until she was leaving, and in the beauty of the sunset he wondered how he'd never seen her before." That's pretty damn perfect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 02:44 AM
28

Ohhhhh I would be quite tempted to screenshot that shit and send it to his not-so-lucky fiancee. What an ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 02:25 AM
24

Lmao at "river of shit." It's the perfect description and I'll be stealing it 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 11:35 PM
15

Uh huh. Tell that to Elin (Nordegren) Woods. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 10:38 PM
23

This is definitely what men think. Since we can get sex easily, they assume we have everything we want, because that's basically all they want 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 10:17 PM
6

Well, first of all kudos to you for realizing your mistakes! People go through their whole lives never acknowledging their issues or improving themselves. You're ahead of the game. A lot of people can and do get their exes back. What's his relationship status? Personally, unless I knew he was with someone else, I'd wait a minimum of three months post breakup (to let all the bad memories fade) and contact him. Your contact should be brief, funny and lighthearted. Nothing heavy yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 10:09 PM
2

Oh LOL! Good catch 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 10:02 PM
3

Yup, I think you're right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 09:58 PM
1

So you only want him because he's got money now and you're in debt? Girl, please. No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 09:55 PM
40

Yeah, just as a matter of strategy... you don't want to look calculating and agenda-driven like that. It spooks them. It turned him off. There was no way to know whether he was HV or LV that early anyway. So don't beat yourself up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 09:49 PM
1

Why are you in a position to see him with his new gf? Is that completely necessary for your job, or are you torturing yourself? If there's any way you can get this gym client out of your professional life, I'd do it. Having zero contact with him will help you heal much faster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 09:41 PM
7

This guy is just not that interested in her. Something tells me he's thrown off more than a few signals of his low interest in the past couple months and she's ignored them. Don't put yourself in this position, ever. If you have to beg for 5 minutes of a guy's time, it's already over. LVM or HVM, he's just not interested in you enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 09:27 PM
22

This is different from having to work late, which is presumably something he can't control. In this case he was home on time, but just delayed getting ready. That was his fault. If this is an otherwise good, established relationship and it's the first time he did it, I might let it slide. But the better way to handle it when it happens is to not get angry and just say "ok, well let's just take a rain check then. I have something else I can go to. Have a great night." And then end contact for the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 09:06 PM
14

That's so sad. Wow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 11:31 PM
3

All I can muster when I read hopeless crap like this is "please don't have kids." But you know they're going to end up having kids 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 09:59 PM
20

And a sedentary lifestyle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 09:34 PM
68

It's also a reminder that if bad sex is a dealbreaker for you, you have to calibrate your "wait for sex" period accordingly. I'm definitely not an advocate of sex on the first date, but there is no way on God's green earth that I'm going to date a guy for months and months on end only to find out he can't get/keep it up. That would be a huge waste of my time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 08:56 PM
8

Holy shit, that guy is trash. The only positive thing about it was skimming all the comments roasting his selfish trash ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 08:44 PM
37

"All he said was “it’s sad. So sorry” Are you fucking kidding me? Block this asshole everywhere. He's dead to you. Your new, better life starts right now. Your landlady probably meant well, but tell her to stop giving him information and if he contacts her, tell her you don't want to hear about it. In fact, I'd deliberately give her the impression that he's physically abusive and you're afraid of him. That will give her added incentive to keep her mouth shut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 08:35 PM
24

Or they want a stick thin woman with DDs. Which is not usually how it works 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 12:47 AM
48

No. I get thanked for things that aren't optional all the time. My boss just thanked me for handing him a report that was mandatory to complete. It's just a nice thing to do. It didn't make me feel like doing my job was optional. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 12:41 AM
81

I've found that non-effusive simple thanks goes a long way with men. Even HVM like to feel appreciated. And often it's just basic politeness. You are 100% correct about ignoring bad behavior by withdrawing attention. In this area they respond to actions, not words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 12:26 AM
280

"And as soon as you start looking like ARod I'll do that, fatass." 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:44 PM
64

You're overthinking. He's just trying to impress you. Let him. Just be upbeat, polite and appreciative (assuming he acts like a gentleman) and it's all good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 10:49 PM
77

I think HVM tend to stay married or coupled up, even if they're with LVW. HVW, on the other hand, end up tossing out LVM. And there's the imbalance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 08:36 PM
15

Nah, it's not the impression you're giving. If he thought you were that easy he'd have pulled this on the first date. He's assuming you're a "3 Date Rule" girl. But the way he introduced it is really low value. If he'd said "what do you think about getting dinner/drinks Friday and maybe getting a hotel after?" I'd be more comfortable. (Assuming there's been some kissing and physical contact already.) You'd still turn him down, but at least he's asking nicely and not assuming things. And what the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 08:25 PM
39

And they wonder why they end up in deadbedrooms 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 06:57 PM
24

Yes. LVMs can authentically love you, to their capacity. But if they're not pulling their weight and meeting your standards and needs, it really doesn't matter. Love is a verb. The actions and expressions of love are what separate a HVM from an LVM. My LVM ex tried. I really believe he did, to his capability. But his "trying" didn't even meet a HVM's baseline. He said to me at the end "I am trying and trying and it's never enough." And he was right. It wasn't. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 06:53 PM
73

"You seriously going to dismiss boyfriend material because of height and dick size?" Uh... yeah. How is this even remotely controversial?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 06:13 PM
22

Women control access to sex, and sex is what men want more than anything. So any forum, group, organization, or movement that restricts their access to sex by promoting female empowerment feels very threatening to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 05:28 PM
16

Holy shit. Imagine how inexperienced and sucky you have to be in bed to not realize "cum" and "orgasm" mean exactly the same thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 04:46 PM
34

Yup. It's not that he's aroused by her crying over, say, a sick relative... he wants her to be crying because of sex. Rape/submission fantasy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 04:33 PM
28

Amen. I don't give a rat's red ass what men think is or isn't empowering to women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 04:17 AM
43

Plus he'll eventually get enthused about, and cheat on you with, a HVW he's excited about who isn't pursuing him and doing all the work for him. Men DO NOT respect or appreciate women who "drag" them, aka "lead" the relationship. It's a fool's errand. Even if you win, you lose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 03:08 AM
47

They certainly don't feel shame. If I felt like my fwb was really falling hard for me to the point that the situation was hurting him, I'd cut him loose. Because it's the right thing to do! But do you ever see men doing that for women? Hell no you don't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 02:46 AM
12

This. As soon as I saw the survey was from Planet Fitness, it all made sense. The majority of their male members look exactly like that. So of course they want to normalize it 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 02:33 AM
35

Yup, I'm with you. I've got one just like that too. He'd like more, but he doesn't meet my (non-physical) standards. I like him and he's actually a good friend to me, but I'm not even remotely interested in a romantic relationship. And that's really the only way to do fwb. The only thing I occasionally worry about is whether it makes me lazy about finding a real relationship. If a potential HVM asks me out and I'm waffling about it, I have to seriously ask myself whether I'd be more willing to g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 01:57 AM
7

Every woman I know who had this issue ended up telling the guy "hey, I love you but we obviously want different things. Time to go our separate ways." And she meant it, so she left. And started dating. Guy either frantically stepped up and tried to win her back with a ring.... or he didn't, and she moved on. Men respond to ACTIONS, not words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 08:17 PM
99

Men never respond to words. I truly think they're programmed to tune us out. The only thing that they respond to is action. You tell them ONCE what you want/need/expect, and if they don't do it, you put them on dread protocol. If that doesn't work, you walk. There's no other way. And they aren't "blindsided"; that's what they say to get sympathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 07:33 PM
6

Oh God. Don't do this. Not any of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 04:34 PM
31

Barf. Will he wear the wedding gown, too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 04:25 PM
7

"As much as an LVM can like a girl" That's where you're getting tripped up. And I've been there. Feeling too much empathy for a decent-guy LVM because you feel like the poor hapless dude is doing the best he can. Girl, no. Not worth it. Just because that might have been HIS best effort in a relationship doesn't mean it meets your standards. Sometimes a guy's best just isn't good enough. And that is NOT your problem. Ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 04:14 PM
3

I'd probably tell him that I might have endured his mediocrity, laziness, and crippling insecurity badly disguised as dismissive arrogance, if he'd just been able to keep his eraser dick hard for more than eleven seconds. But even that is way more attention than he deserves 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 03:10 AM
44

Just took a DNA test and turns out I'm 100% sure this never happened
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 02:31 AM
2

Lol 😂😂 Believe me, I get it. Feels good on a visceral level to tell them off!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 02:26 AM
34

Nothing at all. Because he wouldn't really listen. He'd just feel smug that I was still giving him attention. Berating a guy means you still care, and they know that. Ignoring them completely is the ultimate putdown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 08:08 PM
1

Your gut is 100% right. He's lovebombing you, and pushing much too hard to get in your pants. These are huge red flags. I've been in the "many mutual friends" situation so I know how you feel about blocking and drama. You can instead try "slow fading" him (don't respond to that "Netflix and chill" text at all, he'll get the message) or just wait a while and text back that he's moving too fast for you and you're probably just not compatible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 06:43 PM
41

This is all over SM today and it's so ridiculous. It's a halftime show in Miami, not a debate club. What were they supposed to do, hold a spelling bee? Adam Levine was up there shaking his ass shirtless last year and these same women were swooning and that was just fine, but two hot and STRONG Hispanic women doing the same thing is a symbol of cultural decline? Fuck that. Sexism at its finest. And it's always sad when it comes from other women, but make no mistake, it's still sexism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 05:58 PM
7

Every time you start thinking about him, make yourself relive every single shitty and low effort thing he did during your relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 02:59 AM
23

'Her cell of sex traffickers offered three age ranges of sex partners--toddler to age 4, 5 to 12 and teens--as well as what she called a “damage group.” “In the damage group, they can hit you or do anything they want to,” she explained.' I'd really like to have 15 minutes alone with these scumbags with some rope and a cattle prod. You want deviant sexual activity? Bend over, motherfucker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 11:33 PM
9

Yup, like JLo, Gwen's another smoking hot FIFTY y/o woman with a banging body. The Wall? Foh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 11:12 PM
52

I'd love to read the wife's version of the story. I doubt she finds it "exciting" and "refreshing" to stand outside a bedroom door listening to her husband bang another woman 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 10:47 PM
7

I'd give him the benefit of the doubt here. Maybe he thought dating a guy who lives in a wheelchair-inaccessible place would be a dealbreaker for you. Plus, men are men and they're going to try to have sex as soon as they can, it's in their nature. It's how the guy responds when you say no that really matters. It sounds like he responded in a HVM way when you told him you weren't interested in that so soon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 10:40 PM
1

It depends on the context. If you've been dating for a while, I might say something like "I didn't realize you wanted the relationship to be exclusive. You've never said anything about it." And just wait and see what he says. If you've only been on 1-2 dates with a guy and he's butthurt you're dating others... I'd just cut him loose. That level of insecurity is a big red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 07:18 PM
6

Yup. And I'm really looking forward to watching JLo shake her hot, toned, 50 year old ass in front of all those fat middle aged dudes dying to fuck her tonight during the Superbowl halftime show. There is no female Wall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 06:47 PM
12

What's the situation-- I assume you don't live together anymore and you're divorcing him? If you have no kids, it will be a lot easier, but of course it's still not easy. Try not to dwell on what might have been. You gave it your all, and you couldn't control what kind of person he was. Give yourself credit for everything you did to try to make it work. Give yourself even more credit for getting out when you did. Try to get into the mindset that you are beginning a new, better, and more exciting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 09:33 PM
127

Because they like the emotional support and ego stroke of having you around, knowing you're still into them. It makes them feel better when other women reject them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 09:26 PM
11

You can date as many men as you want. Unless a guy is offering you an exclusive committed relationship, it's absolutely none of his business what you do in your free time. Any man who gets butthurt about that wasn't worth your time to begin with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 09:02 PM
14

My response would be "lol" and then nothing. He's basically saying "entertain me." You can bet if he's a HVM interested in you enough, he'll get his ass on bumble to keep talking to you. This is why I'm not a fan of bumble. I think it attracts exactly this type of low effort loser. They assume the women on it are going to do all the work, from the initial contact right until the end of time. Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 07:56 PM
17

Good for you. You know you can do better and guess what? So does he.👸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 06:18 PM
13

You're putting yourself first. That's the right thing to do. It's not your job to fix a man, especially financially. He'd just end up resenting you for it. Was he actively looking for a job? Was he doing everything he could to avoid you having to pay his bills? Was he at least helping you out with odd jobs around the house? Was he treating you like the queen girlfriend you obviously were? If the answer to any of those questions is "no", then you don't have much to feel guilty about. Breakups hur…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 06:14 PM
136

A truthful man will tell you that penetrating the anus feels VERY different than vaginal penetration. So no, there are no "accidents".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 08:10 PM
29

It would really be nice if the haters would read and focus on the MANY painful, heartbreaking posts here from brave women who have been abused, hurt, lied to, gaslighted by, impoverished by, and otherwise fucked over by men they loved who pretended to love them back. Maybe then they could understand why we need to vet ruthlessly and keep our standards high. But that won't happen, because deep down the haters know that they are exactly the type of LVM we warn against. And since this sub threatens…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 07:04 PM
7

No response. He had his chance with you and he blew it. Make him feel the consequences of his actions. And you have moved on-- love yourself enough to respect the progress you've made, by not setting yourself back. If you see him in person and he approaches you can smile and be polite but brief, as you'd greet a co-worker. And then glide on by. But if he texts/calls/messages---> ignore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 06:35 PM
4

LOL I'm a crime show addict and 100% feel this. But I look at it this way: it will be waaay harder for him to kill me because I know all the signs and tricks 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 04:07 PM
6

This is the content I'm here for. 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 03:20 PM
11

And to the angry incels bashing us all over reddit: Thanks for the free publicity, boys 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 03:17 PM
6

Ideally you want him to feel like he's lucky to have you because "it's a jungle out there" and hard to find a really good match... because let's face it... it is tough! Dating can be tough even for HVM. That's a lot different than feeling you're "lucky" because deep down you think you're inferior to the woman you're dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 02:17 AM
56

This kind of guy doesn't change. Someday he'll be 45, married to an attractive pickmeisha with a couple of kids, and banging his assistant while snapchatting all the 22 year olds he met in the gym. Mark my words. You dodged a bullet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 10:01 PM
4

Rejection! I mean, nobody likes rejection. But a confident HVM takes it in stride. He's not hanging his self worth and value on whether I, or any other woman, wants to date him. He knows he's got plenty of other options. An insecure LVM freaks out over any rejection. It bruises his ego and makes him feel worthless. And ultimately he's going to find another woman to take those feelings out on. Women internalize insecurity (we beat ourselves up). Men externalize it (they punish others).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 09:54 PM
5

Yes! This. I actually almost felt bad for this guy and I was a little annoyed with myself for it. But I think it IS sad that they believe (accurately, I guess) that all they have to offer a woman is big dick stud service.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 09:48 PM
133

This is the male "Wall". They hit it when they get older (or get burned), give up, get tired of chasing skirts and will grab any woman who will cater to them, adore them and not leave them. And then they get bored and cheat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 08:53 PM
73

If a man doesn't think he's good enough for you, he's right. In other words, regardless of the objective truth of his dating market value vs. yours, if a man FEELS he's not worthy of you, he will act like a LVM, sabotage the relationship, resent you, and end up treating you like crap. I repeat this to myself whenever I meet a cute but overly self effacing type who starts makes passive aggressive "compliments" about how so many guys must be after me, yadda yadda. Sounds harsh, but it's a fools er…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 08:33 PM
19

You can text like that with your gfs but it's always a bad idea with guys. If I'm in an anxious mood and tempted to overshare I force myself to put the phone down and focus completely on something else. In the beginning, you can't go wrong by mirroring him. If the guy is a minimalist type texter I might "upbeat mirror" him with a little extra thrown in. But yeah, long emotional ranty stuff will scare men away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 08:10 PM
15

Yes. These are the low effort, "pick me" men. I call them lazy orbiters. They don't have the balls to make a real move, so they just hang around hoping to be chosen. I have a couple of these. They're decent looking and can attract women but they're LVM all the way. Super lazy and expect women to do all the work because they've had a history of pickmeishas that do just that. They'll orbit around me but won't put themselves on the line to ask me out, so they basically friendzone themselves. Any gu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 04:20 PM
28

I once had a black guy ask me if I "liked dark meat" 🙄 It's such a low value way to talk about yourself. I guess they don't see it that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:56 PM
14

Pay for an uber to get her home. I think walking you home is a very HVM thing to do, as long as he isn't pressuring you to let him in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:41 AM
13

Don't get sidetracked by excessive texting and Facetiming... the measure of a man's true interest is the amount of quality, non-sexual in person time he gives you. You need to go on a few more dates to get a better sense of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:34 AM
73

Men don't value women for anything other than sex and sex-based companionship. They don't value female friendships other than as a means to an end (getting a foot in the door to date/fuck her, or to use her for social proofing for easier access to other women). So in your example, of course this guy's friends laughed about his friendship with an attractive woman, assuming he must have wanted her sexually and got friendzoned. I'm sure they were right. Men literally do not see the point in hanging…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:25 AM
23

Not getting butthurt angry/lashing out when you want to take things slow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:10 AM
44

Raising your voice in an argument--- eh. I do that myself sometimes. Aggressive yelling-- no. Getting in your face while yelling-- no. Cussing you out while yelling-- HARD NO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 03:08 AM
54

FUCK YES. I love these stories. Good for you 💪🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 01:39 AM
92

Lol go for it, guys. 90% of you couldn't even pretend to meet our standards but I guess reading here is a nice break from cheetos, the xbox and jacking off in a tube sock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 01:30 AM
3

I think of "soyboys" as small skinny dudes with manbuns. Not my type for sure, but if they're other women's type then it's all good. You can be a HVM and have that look, I think 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 12:31 AM
6

Definitely 2. Just ignore. He'll know why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 12:24 AM
53

Jfc. You just say "I'm definitely not interested in doing that." Or you can get cute and say "Sure! Can I pick the guy??" 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 11:31 PM
2

If a dick is just a bigger finger, he should try sucking one himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 11:10 PM
9

First of all, you should be dating other guys. This was a brand new thing. You are too invested in it already. When he comes back, you two are basically starting from scratch. Just take it slow and see where it goes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 10:37 PM
2

He's not worth your time, for the distance alone. Not to mention the other factors. Even if he ended up being amazing and you hit it off... two hours is far away and you'd have to do all the traveling. Your time is better spent finding someone nearby.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 09:57 PM
5

Because he likes that you like him. It's an ego boost. Everyone likes attention, right? He also likes having you as an option, on the back burner, in case he goes through a dry spell or changes his mind about wanting a relationship with you. Does this sound like a good place to be? Hell no! Don't take those crumbs. Cutting him off completely is all win-win for you. You will move on so much more quickly, and believe me-- if he changes his mind somehow down the line, he's going to find you and woo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 09:06 PM
43

Men completely underestimate how important the emotional connection is for women to want sex in a relationship. And they undervalue foreplay--- unless it's a blowjob.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 08:47 PM
16

WTF? I've never had that happen either, and I've been with men who were affectionate/cuddly types. Even my super kinky ex didn't try that. That's just... scary and gross. Reminds me of the diaper wearing fetish. Just-- ew. Men who want to act like literal babies are repulsive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 08:38 PM
15

Oh dear. Sounds like someone lost out on a promotion to an attractive woman who's a lot smarter than he is. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 07:40 PM
15

I'd look at that as compensation for what he put you through. Tell the boutique to tell him "thanks" and continue to ghost his lazy ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 07:36 PM
7

No, you can't be friends. Really. You can't. I've been exactly where you are, and talked myself into "friendship" (But I genuinely like him as a person!! I can move on and date and still talk to him!! We're adults, it's the mature thing to do!!) Yeah.... nope. You're just signing up to hurt yourself, every day. Trust me. The ONLY way you can be friends with a man you've even had a passing interest in is if AND ONLY IF you could handle seeing him with another girl or talking about his awesome gir…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 07:31 PM
38

She killed it. Particularly the part about compartmentalizing. I see really good looking men out all the time who are just frankly not my type. I can acknowledge they're good looking without actually feeling any attraction. Men don't get this because their attraction pattern is linear. Hot Girl----> Sex Please.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 07:10 PM
8

""Shotgun blast of dicks" I'm dead 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:55 PM
19

The best part is coming here to read the stories about how this sub has changed women's lives. There are so many women who have been programmed to accept crap behavior and outright abuse, and have no real life support systems to assure them they have value and are deserving of love and respect. They literally have no one to help. So this is a very important space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:52 PM
129

It is so much better, healthier, and more successful for LVM to have women follow the red pill women strategies than the FDS. Fixed it for them 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:30 PM
16

Yes he was! And she dumped him for Big 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 06:24 PM
10

Yay! We owe it all to the incel haters and "red pill" poseurs! You made us successful. Thanks boys 😘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 02:57 AM
8

I'm with you, sis! Enjoy it as long as it suits you. If he wants something serious, let him try to prove himself and prove he's worth it. Why not? If it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. Life's good regardless, and men are everywhere 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 02:53 AM
4

I think it's a perfect way to be. As long as you're still enforcing your standards, you're golden.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 10:19 PM
10

Ummm indeed it is. If a guy is straight up telling you he isn't up to your standards, thank him for his honesty and shove him right back into the wild.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 10:16 PM
8

Don't accept fwb if you don't want fwb. The measure of a man's interest in you for a relationship is the amount of quality, non-sexual time he is investing in you. Netflix and chill is not quality time. Pull back and let him ask you on a proper date. If he's not interested in doing that, then he just wants fb/fwb and you need to part ways. Don't ever try fwb hoping it will lead to something more. It almost never will, and so it's a recipe for heartache.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 10:09 PM
7

Another one for the Book of Things That Never Happened 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 01:10 AM
6

I wouldn't respond to the cancellation text. When he tries to reschedule or otherwise make it up to you, I'd just say "I think we are looking for different things in a relationship and I'm not interested in pursuing this further. Good luck." And that's it. Trust me, he knows. If a HVM is really interested in you, he brings his A-game right out of the gate. The fact that he's already slacking off means he's not a HVM, or he's just not interested enough. Either way, it's a waste of your time. This…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 01:37 PM
16

I loved reading this. I don't know you, but I'm so proud of you. I related to a lot of this. You have a lot to be proud of, and your ex lost a very, very good thing. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 01:12 AM
8

I'd never date a guy who didn't want to go down on me. Total dealbreaker, even though I don't love it as much as many women do and I almost never orgasm that way. It would just be a huge turn off to know he had a hangup about it. But I sure don't want a guy to fake it, either. If he hates it I'd rather know up front, so I don't waste my time with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 04:39 AM
10

Well, you know what you have to do. Block him everywhere. And frankly, since it sounds like you have no willpower against him, if theres something you can say or do that will make HIM stop contacting you, I'd consider doing it. But after you do dump him, the bigger and far more important work is all internal. It's not your fault he's an asshole, but you need to figure out why you attached to someone who treated you so cruelly. You really do have to address that, or you'll always be a magnet for …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 04:09 AM
14

Men know they are supposed to be the pursuers. Even the lazy ones know that. So if you do the pursuing, you get an immediate, irreversible downgrade in their eyes. Sure, they may like the novelty of it at first (particularly the lazy ones) but they will never value you the way they'd value someone they had to work for. It is never, ever wise to ask a man out or otherwise do the pursuing. Every couple I know where the woman was the initiator, the guy ended up lukewarm about her, took her for gran…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 03:56 AM
15

You can take all the self defense classes in the world, and arm yourself to the teeth, but the fact remains-- they are physically stronger than we are. I'm not saying these things are pointless, they're just not everything. The best safety tool we have is our gut instinct. If a guy doesn't feel safe, get away from him any way you can as quickly as you can. Don't be afraid to walk away from a guy who is making you feel uncomfortable, even if you're out on a date with him. Even if you're in a publ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 03:42 AM
166

And this is presumably his BEST photo. So just imagine what he looks like in real life. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 03:30 AM
5

So now you know, you can't be "just friends" with someone you want more with. Lesson learned! Just be warned: he will be back. This type can't stay away. He loves the ego stroke of knowing you adore him. He's not your friend and will never be your friend. Block him, and keep him blocked. It's very hard at first, but you'll heal so much faster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 02:53 AM
8

You're the only one who knows what balance works best for you. If you want more weekend dates than you're getting, I'd just say-- once-- that unless you're skiing, going out on the weekends is preferable for you. That should be all you need to say. If he resists---> big red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 02:35 AM
12

Go on the date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 06:01 PM
31

Wow. Thank God you broke this off early. He would have gotten more and more abusive over time. It sounds like you're down on yourself for letting it happen, but don't be. Reframe it and look at the positives. First of all, six weeks is not a long time. You ended it before he hurt you, which I'm sure would have eventually happened. And ending it abruptly like that I'm sure wasn't easy because of the friend connection. What you did was brave. You are brave! So give yourself credit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 05:56 PM
4

I mix it up. Sometimes immediate, sometimes 5-20 minutes, sometimes an hour. Sometimes a few hours. I'm not a fan of being predictable. And sometimes i legit don't check my phone for an hour or so, or I'll check it quick for emergencies but don't have time to respond to people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 07:32 PM
18

You don't initiate interactions with him. If he starts a convo be pleasant and polite but keep it brief. Talk to him like you'd talk to a co-worker. Meanwhile, walk around the house looking happy and preoccupied with other things. This is not the cold shoulder. This is you shifting energy away from him, and showing him you can be happy without him. Your mood should be happy and upbeat but distant from him. And you should still do all of the other stuff on the list.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 06:52 PM
12

Jfc, this poor thing. I wish I knew her personally; I'd take her out for her birthday. She bared her soul to her husband about what sounds like a horrible childhood where she was neglected and devalued and no one cared about her birthday, and despite that terrible story, he couldn't be bothered to even remember the day. What a piece of garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 06:34 PM
8

Sounds like he's not going to pay you. And blocking this jackass now is worth losing the $25, imo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 05:49 PM
13

Yep. My response to that is always "you can ask anything. Whether you get a response very much depends."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 05:43 PM
5

I just love how triggered they get. I bathe in the angry impotent tears of MRA incels before getting ready for HVM dates 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 05:39 PM
11

He's bitching about $1500 for a wedding dress plus alterations that HER PARENTS offered to pay for. What a total fucking loser. I hope she runs, and runs fast. This is the type of guy who will only take you out to eat twice a year and make you order the cheapest thing on the menu. Just--- no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 04:06 PM
26

I have a friend who is going through exactly this. Her husband sabotages her because he is an insecure abusive fat slob who is petrified she'll dump him if she starts looking better. (I'm sure hoping so.) LVMs will happily sabotage and sacrifice your health and happiness and goals so they don't have to compete for you against higher quality men. They want to keep you at their level, or lower, always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 02:51 PM
20

Jfc. If a guy talked to me like that during sex I'd not only dump him, I'd specifically tell him I was dumping him because he sucks in bed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 02:44 PM
14

You did fine. If he's interested enough, he won't forget you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 02:39 PM
23

Those baby weights in the background are super cute. I can lift those with my pinky fingers 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 01:58 AM
18

It is hard, we've all been there. Just remember: he's using you. Your attention gives him a ego stroke. And you're getting nothing but dashed hope in return. Also. He is a dick for getting around your initial block. A high value man who genuinely liked and respected you for friendship (even if he didn't want a RL) would honor that block and realize you were trying to protect yourself from being hurt. But he decided the ego stroke of your attention and having you pining after him was much more im…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 01:23 AM
20

I'm sure I'm older than you, with a lot more experience. Please listen. I am 100% sure that you will regret having sex with this man. I'm sure he can be nice sometimes, but he is not respectful of your feelings on a very important issue-- which means he doesn't respect you, as a person. You don't want to be with someone like that. It never ends well. You'll find someone better, I promise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 01:08 AM
35

You like him romantically and he friendzoned you and started dating someone else? Block his work number. Block all numbers. You need to cut him off completely. Being friends with him will only hurt you and set you back from finding a guy you like who likes you back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 01:02 AM
101

Dread, baby. Introduce some dread into this overly-complacent dude. It's good for him. Stop initiating texts. Just respond to his, and take your sweet time doing it. Be warm and pleasant, but brief and a little distant. Make plans to go out with friends and if he asks, be vague about where you are and who you're with. Improve your appearance somehow-- more makeup, some new clothes, working out, whatever. Let him wonder why you're doing it. (Meanwhile you'll feel great.) When you're together, pay…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 12:54 AM
5

Fuck this guy. I'd move into the spare bedroom, stop talking to him except bare minimum, get a lawyer and hit the gym hard. Start texting a cute personal trainer and leave my phone unlocked on the counter. Dread is a powerful thing. This guy deserves a good dose of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 12:03 AM
12

"Fucked"-- such a classy way to put it when you're talking to someone you've just met. Were these men raised in caves? Their mothers must be so proud 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 11:56 PM
14

Great post and congrats on your relationship! That's a great point about a man's self confidence determining his value status. Every LVM I've dated had self esteem issues. They try to hide it, but it always bleeds through. How they feel about themselves negatively affects how they show up in relationships, and how they treat their partner(s).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 10:19 PM
1

You're smart not to get into it over text. It's no way to discuss anything serious, particularly with someone you don't know well yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 10:13 PM
10

You did a really great thing for yourself by noticing this behavior early, recognizing this guy was an ass who was only going to get worse, and dumping him before he started corroding your self-esteem. Really, really well done. The way you did it was perfect. Guys like this will often try to worm their way back (they know a good thing when they see it) but don't back down. He showed you who he is already. He won't change-- except to get worse. Men are on their best behavior early on... so if the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 10:09 PM
42

I'm a white woman who's only dated white men, but I'm not surprised by your experience at all. Mediocre white men are the most over-entitled species on the planet. It's astounding what they think they deserve.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 09:58 PM
20

You gotta just ignore these dudes. Don't even give them the opportunity to insult you. Just unmatch. Trust me, they know why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 09:52 PM
14

He doesn't care about you and he's treating you like shit. Full stop. Dump him. I'm sorry to be blunt, but this isn't even a close call. I'm nicer to absolute strangers than this "boyfriend" is to you. You can, and will, do better when this malignant growth is out of your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 09:00 PM
11

Yes, and when you flush without a word, they'll scramble like hell to get back to status quo. It's literally mind blowing what they'll do, which is why it's easy to take it as "wow....he never tried so hard before! He must really care!!" No way sis. LVMs will fight to get back to status quo, and ONLY status quo. So if status quo wasn't working for you, ignore his too-late, lame ass efforts. He'll go back to his usual ways as soon as you respond, because he'll know he still has a hook in you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 06:17 PM
4

Yes. I cringe when I hear men say they'd love for a women to do the initiating. It's toxic, bullshit advice and NEVER a good idea. Yes, most men will initially respond affirmatively to being asked out because they like the ego stroke and the novelty of not having to put in effort. But men KNOW they are supposed to be the pursuers, and that women can sit back and be pursued. A woman who is perceived has having to pursue gets an immediate downgrade in a man's eyes. Don't ever ask a man out or othe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 05:39 PM
20

I'm always happy to do it. It doesn't matter to me what she does with the info. If she wants to get pissed or psycho or deny it or debase herself by staying with him.... it's not my problem. I did my part. 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 05:18 PM
16

This! If you're still engaging with them they know they still have a shot. Also, men do not respond to words, especially from a woman. They respond to ACTIONS. Don't like the guy's behavior? Show it in your ACTIONS by ghosting his ass. Yes, even in a relationship. Nothing gets a guy's attention like you focusing your attention anywhere other than on him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 03:15 PM
6

We attract what we are. That's why self-love is the prerequisite to finding real love. People take their cues about how well to treat you from how well you treat yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 02:10 AM
10

Read this like your best friend wrote it, that will help you see what you need to do with this loser. He's not deserving of your kind heart. So don't waste it on him. Considering how he's treated you, I wouldn't even give him the courtesy of closure. Just ghost him. Trust me, he'll know why.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 02:00 AM
3

This shit makes me want to start a side business outing these assholes. It probably wouldn't take much to get them to send a face pic with some kind of identifying info 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 12:46 AM
3

I don't think it works for his wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 12:44 AM
10

I ignore bad behavior. As in, I withdraw my attention and disappear. I used to text/say indignant stuff like "that's inappropriate"-- no more. Trust me, they know. Negative attention is still attention, and they'll take it over no attention because if you care enough to reply, even in anger or annoyance... hey, at least you cared that much to experience the emotion and act on it. No attention is what dings their ego the most. They feel like they aren't even worth a reply. They feel invisible. Dr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 12:29 AM
6

You didn't do anything wrong. Sometimes it doesn't work out. For whatever reason, he pulled back. Try not to take it personally because it happens to everyone. After you make the decision to cut a guy off for ghosting or fading or bad behavior... you have to follow through. You let him right back in after he asked to see you and that's a mistake. It probably wouldn't have changed the outcome, but you'd feel more empowered if you'd held your boundary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 11:03 PM
10

And even if you don't hate him, but you're just sick of his shit and you're ready to move on: It's ok to block or ghost him. He knows what he did or didn't do. Don't worry about his feelings. He sure didn't care much about yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 09:07 PM
65

Nothing worse than a gaslighting male drama queen who projects his instability onto you. This kind of guy loooves the drama of high volatility relationships (that fake suicide attempt 🙄) so he'll try to reach out again to provoke you into contact. Hold that block, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 06:55 PM
20

Uh huh. That must be why you're on a dating app trolling for women-- because they chase you. How's that working out for you, loverboy? Lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 06:37 PM
22

You're giving them way too much credit. They're afraid of other men competing for us, not assaulting us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 01:48 PM
17

He totally got off on asking that question. You can tell by the way it's phrased. Low-value, pornsick creepo loser. So fucking gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 11:56 AM
54

I went over there once, laughed my ass off, never went back. A bunch of low-rent losers beating off in mom's basement while they pose as plate spinners online.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 04:58 AM
5

My father died suddenly and I didn't forget important work obligations that I had to handle/reschedule or anything else we had to work around to arrange services. And this wasn't even his father! So please. No one is that flaky. He's tweaking details so he looks more sympathetic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 01:32 AM
7

And that's exactly why it doesn't add up. They're allegedly serious enough that gf is going to the wedding (that he somehow forgot about) and he's expected to be at funeral. In reality, in a couple that close the family would have scheduled services around the wedding. He's not telling the whole story. Gee, what a shock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 01:22 AM
39

A lot of this doesn't even add up. He "just remembers" his best friend's wedding that he needs to drive 4 hours to and obviously make hotel reservations for... the week it's happening and right after his gf's dad dies? Bullshit. In reality, it's probably a distant friend of his, and he had no intention of going to the wedding until he realized he was in for a weekend of funeral services for the dad of a girl he's stringing along and has no real feelings for. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 10:33 PM
10

Yes! I used to hate hurting anyone's feelings so I agreed to too much, and was way too nice to everyone. It's an act of self-betrayal to do that, it really is. My default with men is pleasant but distant. It's catnip to them, and helps prevent premature emotional investment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 10:06 PM
9

Such projection. I could have sex with a different hot guy every night of the week if I felt like it. A reasonably attractive woman at any age has zillions of choices. The truth hurts, boys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 04:56 PM
6

Why is letting them know the right thing to do? It's none of a man's business what I do with my time, unless he's my exclusive boyfriend. The end.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 03:10 AM
6

He's a piece of shit and you're really strong for reporting him and going through the criminal process, that's not an easy thing to do. And I'm sure we don't live near each other, but on behalf of all the women who do, THANK YOU for helping to get this asshole off the street.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 02:58 AM
28

Yeah, it was definitely in his court to text and sounds like it should've been an apology! I had a lazy orbiter who would get occasionally defensive and snippy with me if he sensed I was out with other men, and if it was by text I'd send an eyeroll emoji and then completely ghost for a week. So he caught on and next time he was an ass and I disappeared he tried to outlast me by not texting for like 2-3 weeks. It was so hilarious because I was 100% fine with never talking to him again, but I just…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 02:46 AM
3

So many people would rather be in a bad relationship than be alone. That fear is behind 98% of crappy RLs. I used to fear being alone, although i was usually in relationships and outwardly you wouldn't have guessed it about me. It was a breakthrough to realize that being okay with singledom gives you this incredible freedom. It is so liberating. You really don't need to put up with any male bullshit, ever. It doesn't have to mean you don't want to find a good man or that you're not dating-- you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 02:33 AM
8

I look on the bright side when I get this kind of thing right off the bat... at least he's honest and I can reject him immediately. He won't end up wasting my time. There must be women who will respond to that because they wouldn't do it if it didn't get them results, right?? 🤦‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 02:05 AM
46

I've never encountered it personally but it reminds me of stories you hear about sociopaths who show no emotion for people, but cry over injured squirrels. He's definitely got a screw loose somewhere if he gets worked up over people he doesn't know yet can't muster any empathy for his family and friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 01:50 AM
82

Pretty much with any guy... if you find yourself wondering whether to text him, the answer is almost always "no".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 01:45 AM
7

I'd message her with the screenshot after I blocked him everywhere. It's the right thing to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 11:03 PM
60

You have other plans, and that's all you say. Until he's committed to be your boyfriend in an exclusive relationship, it's absolutely none of his business what you do in your free time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 11:00 PM
9

I'd bet my left arm he's exaggerating that chick to you to salve his ego because you cut him off. Men do that all the time. You didn't want a RL with this guy, you just wanted to be wanted. That's the ego talking. What would you have done if he'd tried to pursue you for a RL like he claims he's doing with the new girl? You would've run. My point is, who cares what he thinks and what he's doing. It has zero to do with your worth or your future. He met your needs at the time, but your needs have c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 03:10 AM
2

100%. My fwb is exactly this. The problem is that finding a hot guy who's great in bed and trustworthy, discreet, etc BUT is not someone you'll catch feelings for or actually want to date ... well, that's not easy to do. That's why most fwbs don't work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 02:56 AM
12

I've had soooooo many of these. Total time wasters. He's either already in a RL or married and mostly wants a penpal, or he's an ultra passive, lazy and/or insecure beta afraid to make the first move. You'd be surprised how many decent looking men are in that latter category. It's really sad. Just stop responding.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 02:43 AM
9

You shouldn't do anything more than be friendly and warm when he approaches you in the club. If he asks if you're going to his thing, smile mysteriously and say "don't know yet, maybe". And then personally, I wouldn't show up. If he wants to see you, you have to make him work for it by asking you out properly. That's the only way you can really gauge his interest level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 08:07 PM
9

I'd tell him quite bluntly that his lack of sexual interest is corroding the marriage and you two either go into couples therapy over it, or you're leaving. Bring up the porn problem (that it's become his substitute for actual sex) in therapy. And I'd hit the gym and try to lose that extra weight. I'm in no way suggesting that's the reason for his issues or that you're at fault for any of this. But getting back in shape is going to make you feel better overall and give you confidence. And you de…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 07:39 PM
12

Definitely not HVM behavior. Next time a guy tries to give you his number without getting yours, just laugh lightly and say "oh I don't need that, thanks." HVM know they need to initiate and pursue, and if they're interested, they'll do it. They won't expect you to do their job. LVM are happy to make the woman do their job.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 07:27 PM
12

Men are sexually territorial. They are also extremely insecure about sexual comparisons to other men. Put those two things together and you can understand why it's not a good idea to talk about your sexual past, ever. It fucks with their head and unfortunately, ultimately they'll take that out on you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 07:13 PM
5

This makes me so livid I want to throw heavy things. I'm so sorry this happened to you 😔❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 06:17 PM
6

Wow. This was a real eye opener. I didn't realize MTs at the legit, upscale spas had to go through that bullshit. I really didn't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 06:08 PM
3

Omg this response is gold 🤣🤣🤣 Yes, it's true that negative attention is still attention and they don't even deserve that, but it can be soooo much fun to roast them a little before you hit block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 05:46 PM
17

You and me both! I love the block feature on my phone because it doesn't actually block, just routes the texts to a special folder I have to open if i want to check. I don't want the guys to know they're blocked... I get a much bigger kick out of them thinking I have them on read. Men HATE to be ignored.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 05:12 PM
13

I've mentioned this book before. Truly a must read. I give it to every young woman I know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 03:20 AM
22

Be warm and receptive and lighthearted and fun when he initiates. That is literally all you have to do. Real HVM like to take the lead with a woman, as long as she's appreciative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 11:05 PM
22

"Why?" Not that there's a right answer... I'd just be morbidly curious how she's respond.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 10:47 PM
135

No HVM would be okay with his partner having sex with other men, ever. Full stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 10:46 PM
72

Great job sis and here's another tip that can be tough in practice but really pays off: leaving the convo first, and on a high note. Basically as things are going great and you're really vibing, you touch his arm and say "this has been so great, talking to you! I need to get a beer/go see my friends/etc etc". And then move away. Always leave them wanting more. You're doing awesome ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 10:42 PM
26

I'm more a fan of the big rugged guy, but overall health/fitness and good hygiene is VERY important. I don't care about fashionable clothes but if you're on a date, you should look like you put some effort in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 09:03 PM
27

Completely. My dad always told me, "men are animals. Reward good behavior but don't take any shit."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 08:54 PM
39

LMAO at these sad little posers. They couldn't fool their way out of a paper bag. I absolutely love that they're scrambling to counter FDS. Best proof there is that it's working. Thanks so much for the entertainment, boys 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 08:03 PM
6

Men are MORE emotional than women. It just manifests as violence and anger, either directly or passive-aggressively.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 07:56 PM
8

Don't. Men don't feel guilty for "spinning plates" and hanging out with women they don't like as much as others. So neither should you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 07:51 PM
21

Women everywhere do exactly this, and more. I don't think anyone's surprised that men can't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 07:45 PM
28

Be a good conversationalist, but don't worry about being a conversation starter. That's his job! Treat a first date like an audition-- his audition for the privileged role of being your boyfriend. Be polite and receptive, but for the most part sit back and let him do the work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 01:28 AM
19

Because so many users fall into those categories, reddit can't afford to alienate them. Sad but true. I hopped over to one of the subs once, I can't remember which. They should've called it Profiles in Self-Sabotaging Loserdom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 01:12 AM
40

I never impose a standard that I don't meet myself. And the magic is, by working to meet those standards yourself, it becomes very easy and natural to apply and enforce them against others. You don't even have to think about it. So if your HVM wish list is, for example: Attractive Fit Well-groomed Good job/work ethic Well maintained home Kind and respectful Loyal and honest Direct communicator Etc. You should be all those things yourself. "Attractive" doesn't have to mean supermodel looks, eithe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 12:40 AM
15

I think you should get a job. Then he can pay to hire someone to do everything you're doing. That'll school him quick on the value you provide(d) to the household... that he couldn't bring himself to appreciate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 12:28 AM
16

He felt led on? Please. No, don't text him-- it's very important to lean back and watch what they do when you tell them they have to wait for sex. I have a feeling this guy is going to disappear. And if he does, you'll know for sure that he was only in it to get laid, and you should congratulate yourself for saving a lot of wasted time, hassle and heartbreak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 08:50 PM
10

I love this! You are getting it. Don't fall for their tantrums. YOU come first. It's about what YOU want, always. You don't owe him a damn thing. You are going to be just fine. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 08:36 PM
20

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Reproductive endocrinology is the Wild West of medicine. I'm not at all against medical interventions that help women conceive. But in the US it is very loosely regulated with a huge profit motive and wouldn't you know, most docs in this field are men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 08:30 PM
8

Omg what an asshole, using your cat that way. I'm sorry you lost your kitty. But you had to leave, and it was brave and necessary to leave your pet there to accomplish that. 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 08:21 PM
12

I'd love to see the whackjobs that actually respond to this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 08:16 PM
9

Holy shit! That is one needy insecure dude. Bullet dodged 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 08:08 PM
50

"The one we really love" = Higher Value Pickmeisha "Suck and Fuck Uber Girl" = Lower Value Pickmeisha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 08:04 PM
9

You're a Florence Nightengale. Trying to fix the broken birds. You'll give and give until there's nothing left of you. Don't do it anymore. Be a taker before you're a giver. Make them earn your giving. Put your needs first, always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 07:43 PM
3

He's just not that interested. (And you shouldn't be either, since he didn't pay for the second date.) I'd slow fade him, or just tell him thanks but no thanks, you're not feeling it...whatever your style of nexting guys is. Then move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 07:30 PM
46

I love how everyone assumes it's the lack of sex/companionship that makes them engage in antisocial behavior. In reality, it's usually that very behavior that prevents them from getting laid in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 07:21 PM
15

I've had considerably more experience than you, and a guy frequently hanging out one on one with an attractive woman is almost never platonic. And if I recall correctly, they intentionally exclude you, and she's openly hostile to you. These are all big red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 06:39 AM
6

The strip club thing as a stand alone incident years ago, before you were even together, is not a big deal. But you have so many other concerns with this guy. At the very least consider taking a several month break to get better clarity on the relationship. Your gut is usually right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 06:12 AM
8

I'm more worried about the ex-cop thing than the age gap, tbh. Cops almost never become ex-cops by choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 05:07 AM
10

Oh, I get it. And most of the time it's pickmes who don't authentically like what they're bragging about, or guys who want to normalize kink to make women feel like they should do x,y,z because the Cool Girls are doing it. Both groups are toxic. Different women are going to want different things sexually and it's 100% up to the woman to decide. We should never feel pressured to do things we aren't comfortable doing, ever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 04:37 AM
11

Honey. You're on Fetlife. That's a kink site. Those guys aren't there for traditional dating. You basically went into a car dealership demanding an airplane. If you're going to try finding a traditional RL on those kink/fetish sites, which I doubt will be easy, then you better state what you want very very clearly in your bio and enforce your standards and vet them heavily before any sexual activity. The vast majority of the people on those sites are not looking for traditional FDS type relation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 03:44 AM
5

Yes, you're doing the work for him and taking the "masculine" role. It skews everything and ultimately works against you. The only way to know his true interest level is to lean way back and let him take the lead. If he texts, be warm and responsive but don't suggest anything. Give him space to pursue you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 02:26 AM
43

I have one. Here's my list of musts: Really hot, 9/10 at least Great body Great in bed Respectful Good availability Open and honest about other partners and using protection Discreet Not someone I'd consider serious relationship material. 8 is very important. Otherwise you'll end up in a situation where you want more, and he might not, and you'll get very hurt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 02:11 AM
5

I'm outgoing and friendly when I'm out, so I end up getting hit on by all kinds of guys just because I seem approachable. If a guy who's obviously below my league tries and is respectful about it, I'm respectful and polite back. I give them credit for trying. Guys are gonna shoot their shot. It's the aggressive and arrogant LVMs that need slapping down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 01:12 AM
15

Lmao! You've gotta be ultra hot and fit and great in bed (but otherwise unsuitable for a HVW to date) to get that job, honey. 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 10:44 PM
38

Ugh. I can't stand guys who are too jealous and insecure to appreciate us putting in effort to look extra good. He should have told you you looked amazing and he was proud to be seen with you 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 09:44 PM
60

Serious business partner?? Forget asking for nudes... Jerred is going to ask you to wire $500k to a Nigerian bank instead 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 09:39 PM
118

Sis you are a BOSS. Completely in awe of your level-headed organizational approach to dating 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 09:35 PM
3

The times I've faked it it's been to either spare the guy's feelings, or just get it over with because I'm getting tired.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 09:29 PM
2

"He texted later that night saying that he got super busy at work, wanted to see how things went with me when he was super busy, and was disappointed that I didn't "take the lead" and reach out to him. There was some back-and-forth between us, where I said I couldn't possibly be expected to just know his schedule, and he said I seemed cold and distant." This is Grade-A gaslighting. Do not fall for it. A busy man makes the time for a woman he's really into. Always.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 04:14 AM
9

"Since I'm not looking for sex" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 11:20 PM
33

This is a huge thing. I've had what feels like hundreds of guys act like this. I call them lazy orbiters. They have interest in you but are too insecure/lazy to ask you out and plan something. They just hang around hoping for some sex and/or that you'll "pick" them for a relationship and do 100% of the work while they surf porn all day. Total waste of time and space. No fucking thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 11:03 PM
8

You are young with your whole life ahead of you. It's great you learned these lessons now, before marriage and kids. You're ahead of the game. You'll never get sucked into a relationship like that again. It's important to remember with guys that the only behavior that matters is the behavior happening right now. Guys pull out all the stops for the courtship phase, it's what they do after that really matters. Don't ignore present bad behavior just because he was soooooo nice before and you know h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 10:51 PM
9

They identify with LVM because that's exactly what they are. And the truth hurts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 03:04 AM
3

It's always about what you can handle and you have to be brutally honest with yourself. If it bothers you that he doesn't want a relationship, then you gotta drop him. Otherwise it will hurt and corrode your self esteem. If you truly don't care what he wants, you're not really into him for a serious RL and he's not interfering with you dating others, but you otherwise enjoy his company, then sure. But just the fact that you're about it means it's probably the former. It usually is the former. Wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 02:43 AM
4

We're all guilty of cringeworthy behavior somewhere down the line. So what? Your life starts again every day you wake up and get out in the world. Every new man you meet is an opportunity. Every new man you meet knows nothing about your pickmeisha past. It makes no difference at all! So get out there and be a Goddess 👸
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 04:44 AM
23

I know what you're saying, but think of it this way: that's the drive and dynamic that perpetuates our species. Men pursue, we allow. And the power to allow is a fucking lot of power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 01:59 AM
3

I'd say something along the lines of "I think we should take a few months to think about this, but it may be that we're just fundamentally incompatible in terms of our goals in life. And if so, we'll need to part ways." Keep it as unaccusing and unemotional as possible. And then in a few months... if no ring, break up with him. You gotta do it. Otherwise he's capable of stringing you along forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 10:29 PM
71

Look, all guys want sex. They just do. I expect the guy to try for it. How he reacts when you say no and want to wait is the litmus test.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 08:53 PM
71

So perfectly true. I know several couples where the woman was definitely the "pursuer/leader" early on and sure, they're together but the guy is lukewarm on her and she's on the hamster wheel constantly spinning to hold his attention. They're what I call the "Good For Now Girls", aka placeholder RLs. Who the hell wants that?? Not me. Men will never turn down a reasonably attractive women throwing herself at him. That's why you'll never be sure how interested he is in you if you do all the pursui…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 08:45 PM
108

Women were given greater intuition to compensate for our relative lack of physical strength. It's supposed to give us time to GET AWAY from a predator before the actual attack-- at which point we'll be physically outmatched. Every woman should read Gavin DeBecker's "The Gift of Fear". It shows you how women's socialization to be polite and compassionate and reluctant to hurt men's feelings suppresses our natural flight instinct, and how to stop that from happening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 08:35 PM
10

I'm really hoping this was a troll post because it's one of the most disturbing things I've read on here. Even if you could somehow justify letting your deviant "friend" sit with your five year old to watch a children's show that SEXUALLY AROUSES HIM... how is him warning you that "you can't stop me from coming to your house" not a huge, all encompassing red fucking flag?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 04:18 PM
13

Makes sense to me. I have never EVER been involved with a man who wasn't wildly enthusiastic about going down on me. A guy who won't give head has some serious sexual hangups. Denial of homosexuality could easily be one of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 04:17 AM
55

This is really disgusting. I'm reporting it on Twitter even though their microdicks probably don't function enough to do what they're threatening. All this pseudo macho manbaby posturing, when in reality they'd wet their pants in actual combat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 03:58 AM
67

Shorten up 2. They know they're interrupting; no need to educate them. If a dude interrupts me I immediately interrupt back by raising my hand and saying-- firmly and loudly-- "I'm not finished talking."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 03:46 AM
13

Yeah you look like a psycho in your photos, yet he's interested enough to slide into your DMs and get butthurt when you don't respond. Ok bro 👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 03:41 AM
9

I think this is absolutely the best way to meet men! But since there are only so many men you'll meet this way, OLD is somewhat of a necessary evil.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 03:35 AM
13

It's a quick ego boost. It's also a way to keep a girl hooked and willing to continue with the Fwb. Always remember: The true measure of a man's interest is the amount of effort he is making to spend quality non-sexual time with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 03:30 AM
33

Another confirmation that the worst insult you can give these losers is a total ignore. Drives them insane. Second worst insult: laughing at them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 03:25 AM
12

Sounds like you're way more into him than he is into you, and that's a recipe for disaster in a fwb. Plus, that snap was a douchebag move by any standard. He's leaving anyway, you need to just drop him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:47 AM
6

It means nothing at all. Block him so you won't be tempted to read anything into it. He doesn't deserve to see anything of yours anyway.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:43 AM
101

SIMON SAYS...I'm a pornsick cheating douchebag!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:33 AM
31

In the Book of Things That Never Happened, this is in Chapter "Yeah Right" 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:30 AM
61

I saw this today and ❤❤❤ it. Now that's a real man. Not only is he unintimidated by her successes, he stands up and fights for her to be recognized for them!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:20 AM
2

I'll take what is probably the unpopular opinion. He said it's a placeholder ring until he can afford what you want. Unless your history with him leads you to believe that's bullshit, I'd believe him. If he's a good man and a thoughtful partner, his jewelry picking skills aren't paramount. The right mindset is "I love this ring because he chose it for me all on his own." Just my humble opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 03:18 AM
7

You should absolutely wait until you feel good about yourself again-- regardless of what weight that ends up being. Dating with low self esteem/ low confidence is the path to disaster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 07:37 PM
3

Hell yeah sis! He comes in handy. And he's a good guy, I like and respect him. He's just not someone I'd consider for a real relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 07:29 PM
19

This is a great post. Congratulations on your guy! I think sometimes we need to tweak certain "rules" here and there to suit our personalities, schedules and lifestyles. I totally agree it's a numbers game and so initially you want to expose yourself to as many prospects as possible. That's why I'm a fan of quick drink/coffee dates when you're meeting up for the first time after matching online. For me it's purely to see if there's initial attraction and to ensure the guy looks like his photos. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 07:07 PM
50

Too funny. This sub rents a lot of space in incel heads. For a bunch of men claiming they're "going their own way", they sure spend a lot of time over this way🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 06:51 PM
146

"Uh oh. Story time" OMG I'm stealing the hell out of this 🤣🤣🤣 As for the story... I'll take "Things That He Wishes Happened But Never Did" for $1000, Alex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 06:13 PM
7

It's legit sad to me that there are women who tolerate this shit. Even in my very worst pickmeisha days I would have bounced a guy for talking to me like that 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 04:14 PM
6

Just do it. Tell him that trust is everything in a relationship and his behaviors have become increasingly suspicious to you. List them briefly. Tell him you want him to unlock his phone so you can see if/how he's interacting with other women. Be as firm and emotionless about it as possible, because he's going to try to make you look like a crazy jealous irrational psycho. If he won't do it, well.... now you know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 04:05 PM
4

Your best bet is to ask your friends these questions! If they're really your friends they'll give you advice. I've done it for friends who have asked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 03:54 PM
15

When I'd get into this mindset with my ex I would stop initiating and block him, so his texts would go into a hidden folder on my phone. And I forced myself to only check the folder once a day. And then get busy with your own stuff! Let him start to wonder what you're up to. It takes some mental discipline but it's worth it. You can see his effort (or lack thereof) more clearly and decide from there what to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 03:43 PM
38

Which means he's actually 80 and freshly out of prison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 03:39 AM
34

Yes. They view women as wanting to trade sex for commitment, not just wanting sex for sex itself, with no strings attached. They rely on us bonding to them after sex and wanting commitment, not necessarily because that's what THEY want, but because of all the sexual and emotional leverage that dynamic provides them. So it's fun to flip the script occasionally 😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 03:08 AM
57

There is honestly truth to this. I have a longterm on/off fwb and I find the arrangement pretty easy (he's hot and fit and trustworthy and great in bed but not someone I'd ever date out in the open). He is the one who gets weird when I back it off bc I'm busy or dating seriously or in an exclusive RL. He's the one who will start quadruple texting if I don't get back to him, and get passive aggressive and insecure if he senses I'm out with someone else. I think men can handle being rejected for s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 02:34 AM
30

If he's 34, I'm the Queen of England.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 02:14 AM
23

LVMs resent how easy it is for us to get sex, and the power we have over them because we control access to it. They also live in abject terror of unfavorable sexual comparison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 01:28 AM
93

And beware of his equally immature LVM sidekick: the guy who's so grossed out by menstruation that you can't mention it and have to hide all evidence of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 12:56 AM
80

It's such a LMV tell. These guys would like you to believe they care about our previous partners because we're the "gatekeepers of sex" (true) and if we're "bad" gatekeepers, we're probably emotionally damaged. But that's not really why they care. They care because the more partners we've had, the less likely we'll be to tolerate their micropenises and low effort, crappy sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 12:09 AM
3

Agreed. I have a high sex drive so if I'm attracted to the guy, cuddling is going to lead to sex. So I lump it all together. Until I'm ready to have sex with him, I limit all intimate contact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 08:55 PM
28

This type of guy is almost always a basement dwelling freakoid with little or no access to living, breathing women. But it's still scary to know they exist and walk freely among us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 08:34 PM
11

Sure, why not? Making two dates is twice the effort... I think he's honestly trying to show you he likes you. There's no harm in being receptive to that. It doesn't mean you're dropping everything for him-- if the show date he gets tix for doesn't work for you, then oh well. You're not mean, just cautious. But I'd give this guy the benefit of the doubt for now. Just say "yes" and sit back. It's his job to make it happen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 08:20 PM
41

Yeah honestly, looking at it from his perspective: you asked him to make more effort, and he does, by inviting you to a show with expensive tickets. And then you say "nah". He's probably confused. I would've said "sure, great, if I'm free" to the show and then given him the dates I was free for dinner. And then sit back and let him finish the planning. 💅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 07:52 PM
10

I'll take the unpopular view here-- things are a lot more complicated when you're married to the shitheel guy and have kids with him. There's much more at stake. You put your kids first. So I'm not into judging this woman. I think her impulse to help this (adult) child in her predicament is impressive, and admirable. I'm not sure I could do it myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 07:17 PM
6

Amen sister. I can't even imagine dating a guy that wouldn't go down on me, or was even slightly reluctant. Absolute turnoff and immediate dealbreaker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 06:41 PM
8

"He looked like a foot" I literally just spit out my water 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 06:26 PM
7

He broke up with you, and while that doesn't make him a horrible person, he needs to feel the consequences of that. More importantly, you need to get over him and move on, which is exponentially more difficult to do if you're still in contact. Time to cut contact. Just tell him you can't be friends at this point. The end. Then delete him everywhere so you're not tempted to contact or stalk on social media.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 06:22 PM
9

Ahh the famous bait-and-switch. These guys are sooooo original 🙄 Nice job bouncing him, sis 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 06:01 PM
19

I've been with my fair share of guys. I have never-- and I mean never-- been with a man who didn't want to go down on me. In fact, I'd say with most of them, I was dragging their head up after a while because I'd had enough. They were so into it, it got tedious. My point? Guys who don't give head have issues. Either with you specifically, or with women generally. Full fucking stop. Real men love to go down on you and make you orgasm. They LOVE it. So if he doesn't? Bounce him right the fuck out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 02:37 AM
5

"I really don't want to destroy the rest of his life" Then send him to me, honey. I'd love to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 06:55 PM
47

You handled that perfectly. Just look at it as life experience (a couple nice dates at good restaurants, nothing wrong with that!) and keep it moving 👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 06:13 PM
105

This so perfectly encapsulates the mentality of the low-effort male. They really do want this level of devotion, but they don't want to work for it. So if they do find a girl who will be like this for them, they know she's low value. And so they'll treat her like shit and keep looking around. Rinse and repeat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 05:20 PM
16

It's where a guy (or girl) pretends to be the "submissive" but indirectly tries to control the situation by suggesting or resisting things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 05:08 PM
8

Nothing wrong with it, just not what I want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 05:04 PM
7

I'm literally repulsed by this guy's dirty, flabby body. It's fucking gross. I work out hard, eat clean and take care of myself. I wouldn't even want this guy delivering my food 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 03:28 PM
7

Unless you agreed to be in an exclusive relationship with him, no. You are free to go on dates and trust me, he knows that. If you want to try lighting a fire under him, just be less available. The most organic, authentic way to do that is to focus on things you like to do, and try meet new high quality men and go on dates. Men don't respond to words, they respond to actions. He'll notice your sudden unavailability (or less-availability) and if he wants you enough and isn't lazy, he'll step up. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 03:14 PM
9

Exactly this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 02:50 PM
89

Honestly I would be so tempted to say "if you have to ask, you're the submissive." Because it's 100% fucking true! Thank you, next 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 02:58 AM
27

You're way more into him than he is into you. When a guy's actions don't match his words, always ALWAYS look at the actions. Always. A guy who's into you won't blow off your texts. He just won't. Cut him off now and move on. And you should really work on your anxiety and self esteem before jumping in again or these issues will persist. Do that for yourself, you deserve it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 02:42 AM
55

"But you're so good at it 😉" Maybe I'm reading into it, but he sounds a little resentful and angry that he's had to do the planning so far 🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 02:28 AM
20

So much this. And I bet this manchild roommate of yours wanted a woman as a roommate FOR THE VERY REASON that you'll buy the soap and towels and toilet paper. *not that doing so makes you a doormat, obviously you need these things for yourself. It's just so pathetic that this idiot can't even wipe his own ass without female help 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 12:17 AM
9

Eh, I see low value chicks accepting fwb arrangements with these guys IRL, because they have money and status. These tend to be women who pretend to be ok with fwb but are really hoping to get in a serious relationship with a "higher status" man. So he can probably get what he wants. Just not from a HVW like yourself! What drives me crazy is guys who tell you "I'm not looking for anything serious" then continue to pursue hard after you tell them thanks but no thanks, I'm not looking for a casual…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 11:27 PM
1

The old cliche is true: happiness (without him) is the best revenge. Keep him blocked everywhere and don't worry about how it looks or what he's thinking! It doesn't matter what he thinks. You're on to bigger and better things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 10:51 PM
1

I just died at "clitorius"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 10:42 PM
1

I didn't read the other comments and I honestly don't know what the common FDS philosophy is on this. For me, I choose to take the high road and to me (maybe not to others and that's fine) that means being polite, firm, and direct. If the guy is low effort, not following through, evasive, sketchy, weird, overly sexual, inappropriate, whatever-- I'll just say something like "this isn't going to work for me. Good luck in your search." I don't feel the need to point out why. The only exception is a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 10:40 PM
20

You should always assume the guy will keep them. Always. I've sent nude and partially nude photos-- in committed, exclusive relationships-- but never with my face shown. And I never ever will. And even that is risky...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 10:23 PM
27

Seriously, she's like 7-8 years older than him and she's still a 10 next to his grungy 5 ass (at best).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 10:13 PM
4

Heck yes I'd put up a new photo if you've put the work in to lose weight, get in shape or otherwise improve yourself! But do it because YOU are proud of YOURSELF (you should be!) and not because you're pining for a particular guy or trying to force an outcome. And who knows, maybe another, better guy will take notice and ask you out properly!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 10:04 PM
65

Let's get real. Here's the real Wife Store: Floor 1: Women who are hot and love sex and frequent blowjobs. Floor 2: Women who are hot and love sex and frequent blowjobs, and have money. Floor 3: Women who are hot and love sex and frequent blowjobs, have money, and will do all the cooking and cleaning. Floor 4: Women who are hot and love sex and frequent blowjobs, have money, will do all the cooking and cleaning, and will let you have threesomes with their friends. Floor 5: Women who are hot and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 09:46 PM
2

Thanks so much for writing this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 03:23 AM
58

Good God, the projection. Um no... that's YOUR demented pornsick fantasy, you sad little cuckold manboy 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 01:06 PM
28

Dead🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 03:39 AM
5

Read everything you wrote as if it were your close friend asking you for advice. You'd tell her this man is adding no value and a lot of pain to her life. You'd tell her to run screaming from any kind of relationship, even platonic. So why do you deserve any less?? You're afraid to get rid of him because you're afraid of being alone, and this mindset will always get you trapped in bad relationships. You need to be okay with being alone. Having a good man is nice, but realize that you are enough,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 03:32 AM
7

No. He would be exactly the same with anyone else. He will be exactly the same with the women he is with after you. It's nothing you did or didn't do. There are women who will put up with this. But you won't be one of them. You're going to work on self-love until you internalize that you deserve better than this. Because you do. I'm sure he has some nice traits and can muster up sympathy for his "flaws" by admitting his vulnerability... that's nice, but in the end the cons of being a liar and a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 01:53 AM
7

Yea of course you did because you're a good person and who's going to argue with a man wanting to spend time with his kids? You didn't know he was a lying douchebag. And now he's dropping comments like "you dig your own grave sometimes"?? Honest to God I'd like to punch this smug fucker until he barfs up his Rogaine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 01:35 AM
7

It's not petty, he's an ass and deserves everything you threw at him. He's just not worth your time plus he's getting off on how mad you are, so you were right to just BLOCK.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 01:23 AM
20

"But you dig your own grave sometimes." OMFG Block that mother. He's blaming YOU. He gets off on how angry and hurt you are, it shows you cared and strokes his ego. I know it feels good to shred him but he's loving it. The ONLY reason he's acting mildly apologetic is because he loves getting the rise out of you. To men, negative attention is still attention. What they really can't stand, what really hurts their fragile little egos, is to be completely and thoroughly ignored.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 01:11 AM
5

OMG I just spit out my water. I guess I'm the only one who thought he was trying to humblebrag that his dick was too BIG and it backfired on him when you ghosted before he could explain. Lolololol. Either way, it's fucking funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 06:26 PM
3

The drinking is the big yellow flag. Just proceed with caution.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 06:21 PM
5

I got a couple on Thanksgiving. Being a kind soul who had a lovely holiday in a beachfront mansion surrounded by family, I was generous enough to respond "Happy Thanksgiving" when the festivities were over and I had time. But then they tried to use that as a wedge to continue the conversation. And I just laughed and laughed and laughed. No dear, just be happy I responded because that's all you're gonna get 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 02:28 PM
74

Holy shit what an asshole. Good for you for getting free of him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 02:20 PM
5

He hasn't really lied to you about anything. But it's not what you want and it doesn't feel good. So tell him you're looking for more of a relationship, and you're going to start seeing other people. Don't ask him what he wants to do, whether he wants to be your bf, blah blah. Just TELL him what you are going to do. He'll either step up (I wouldn't hold your breath though) or he gets pushed out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 10:28 PM
8

I wouldn't even respond. It requires no effort and honestly, nothing bothers them more. So that's an added bonus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 10:19 PM
6

100% YES. I struggled with this for so long. I still struggle tbh... "but I know he loves me." It makes me too sympathetic. It doesn't matter if he loves you. It matters HOW he loves you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/19 12:16 PM
7

Prioritizing the woman he loves and making her feel loved and happy. That's the real precedent he doesn't want to set.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 02:42 PM
22

OF COURSE he told her it was a sweet thing to do. He's going to say whatever he needs to say to keep the plate spinning. But she ain't gonna get that girlfriend title.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 03:19 AM
8

What's great is that you know that despite their bitching and wailing... they're reading this sub obsessively and taking notes. Lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 03:00 AM
132

I'd bet my left arm that if a 15 year old girl messaged him, he'd be DTF. I hope one of these online vigilante groups decoyed his ass. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 02:40 AM
23

What he presents at the beginning is the best you will get. THIS. Always, always this. All of men's special effort is upfront, to woo us. Women don't get this because for us it's the opposite. We put our special effort in when we're attached/in love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 02:31 AM
14

It's not sinking to any level. He broke the vows and wrecked the marriage. She sacrificed her happiness by sticking around awhile to keep the kids stable. And she's supposed to stay perfect and be lonely and sexless too? For what? To reward him? To be a "good wife" when he betrayed her? Hard fucking NO. This is exactly this attitude, this ridiculous idea that we're supposed to be "better" and take the "high road" and suck it up and always smooth over men's bullshit that leads to pickmeisha behav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 02:14 AM
4

But then he'll resent you for being hotter and fitter than he is, and for making him worry that you'll leave his fat ass for a better man. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 01:41 AM
21

If you're a 9 dating a 4, don't think for a minute that's not going to bother him long term. "Wow, he's so lucky, how'd he end up with HER??" It bruises their fragile little egos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 01:38 AM
24

She stayed because she had kids. I get it 100%. Fuck him, he deserved what he got, even if she had actually cheated.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 01:35 AM
11

Good for you. You CAN and WILL do better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 01:14 AM
9

Not only are you a side chick, you're a side chick to a guy who treats you like shit. Girl I think you know what you need to do. And then get some help for your self esteem issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 01:11 AM
32

I had a guy wait a week after a first date that seemed to go very well. My response was "who is this?" and I honestly can't remember his response-- some kind of apology-- because I never communicated with him again. NEXT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 01:00 AM
4

The poor thing. This is going to actually lower her value in his eyes.... even lower than it already was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/19 07:35 PM
21

Good for you. It's only uphill from here🙏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/19 01:23 AM
6

I think setting boundaries and enforcing them does take practice. You can protect yourself by insisting on dates in public places, no alcohol, no sex, and just take everything he says with a huge grain of salt... unless/until his consistent actions back it up. Take it slow; you're 100% worth the wait. You can do it👍 P.S. Get a female therapist!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/12/19 01:17 AM
4

Omg this is the fucking greatest thing I've ever read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/19 06:06 PM
11

My ex once told me "I really don't give a shit what you want or need, so stop talking about it" in the nastiest, most contempt-filled tone possible. I thanked him for his honesty and told him not to contact me anymore. Three weeks later he shows up like nothing happened, no apology, but super attentive. So I let him back in. At the time I rationalized it as him just lashing out in anger... he didn't really mean it. How could he be with me if he really didn't care what I wanted or needed? I was s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 09:36 PM
6

Hi, I'm new and a (hopefully soon former) pickme girl myself. Laying it all out can be painful and embarrassing but it's the first step to heal yourself and make sure it doesn't happen again. We are worth so much more! You got this👍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 06:09 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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