I am a strong believer in the power of positive reinforcement to elicit positive behavioral changes in others. I generally ascribe to the idea that, in relationships with men, it is best to reward good behavior and ignore him when he behaves badly. This does not mean I ignore his behavior, but rather, that I give him less attention and less of my time; if he continues the undesirable behavior, he gets cut off. Rewarding him, on the other hand, consists of attention, affection, and verbal affirmation. For me, these tactics seem to work just as well in men as they do while training puppies.
I want to make clear that in relationships with men, I am not impressed by him taking action on things that should be expected (such as participating in housework). Nevertheless, I am wondering if I should thank my partner when he does these, not because I am impressed, but as a means of reinforcing the good behavior. We all like to be thanked for our efforts right?
At the same time, I'm concerned that thanking him for this kind of thing might lead him to believe that said behavior was optional. I hope this is making sense.
What do others think? Should I reward good behavior in males even when it's expected if the intention behind it is to reinforce good behavior? Or will this backfire?
[–]aclumsygirlAt-Risk Pick Me Youth80 points81 points82 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 11 points12 points13 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]aclumsygirlAt-Risk Pick Me Youth47 points48 points49 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 15 points16 points17 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]extraacct1234Ruthless Strategist19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FuturePigeonFDS Newbie55 points56 points57 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]rippergrlFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SaddleUpBucephalusFDS Newbie21 points22 points23 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SavvyInNYCFDS Newbie34 points35 points36 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]RobotAmericanFDS Apprentice10 points11 points12 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]illusion_believeFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]illusion_believeFDS Apprentice5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Lady_SchmoobleydongFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hawkgrlFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]level_up_alwaysFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UrmNah0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DiamondsareagirlsbffFDS Apprentice0 points1 point2 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link