Men are just disgusting

riseaboveagain · 2020-03-04T14:55:55+00:00

She needs to get used to it and cut her friendly chats and interaction with the men in her workplace down to a strictly professional level. Keep them at arms length. Sadly, this kind of bs with men happens all the time

Source: my own long career

kinnnion · 2020-03-04T13:49:05+00:00

Why is it so impossible for men to platonic relationships with women. I have tried having male friends and they never work out, they start liking me and then I have to drop them

Bovvsette · 2020-03-04T15:06:25+00:00

This really breaks my heart. All she wanted was a mentor at her job and now she has to deal with someone's hangups and perversion. And yes, being attracted to someone who is young enough to be your child and who views you as a parental figure is perverted.

CuriousCatNYC777 · 2020-03-04T15:23:13+00:00

This happened to me.

Went on a trip with my mom, and the resorts owner (who was her age) offered to take us on a tour. We went all together and had a blast. He went above and beyond to show us a good time, and even upgraded our room when we got back.

He asked for her number so she gave it.. later, he texted her asking about her daughter (me, 30 years younger than him), saying he never felt like this before and wanted to date me.

She was so shocked, she blocked him. Men are brazen and audacious.

SarcasmSlide · 2020-03-04T15:23:50+00:00

I do not want to go to HR about it...and he does have kids to support.

🙄 Then that’s all the more reason he shouldn’t be hitting on a co-worker young enough to be his daughter.

SeaFocus4 · 2020-03-04T14:49:32+00:00

He’s literally twice her age. Barf. Why do men think this is okay?

siberiansummer · 2020-03-04T16:50:02+00:00

Yup. Men cannot have friendly relationships with women. They always view us as an opportunity to fuck. Even if we are slightly friendly to them they see it as if we are interested in sex

SslimReaperr · 2020-03-04T15:19:14+00:00

Similar thing happened to me. I was 18 and finishing up high school, I worked at an entry level job and two of the GROWN ASS male co-workers would constantly hit on me. Both 35+ and one was even married. Disgusting

JOEYMAMI2015 · 2020-03-04T15:08:27+00:00

Ugh this is why I am a bitch to men now...........You be nice to them, and they'll immediately try to get inside your pants ugh ugh ugh

Ms_Tilly · 2020-03-04T15:10:04+00:00

I'm late 30s and have had several men in their mid 50s to early 60s start showing interest in me after establishing a friendship. It's gross. It bothers me that so many men don't see it as sick.

gigi_chi · 2020-03-04T15:00:21+00:00

Men are incapable of having platonic friendships with women they are attracted to. I had a former boss do the same shit to me and it made me feel so violated to know that my “ work dad” who always “looked out for me” was secretly dating his subordinates and plotting on each of us. I personally don’t have any male friends because this is how they all end up!

prettyexcitingnews · 2020-03-04T15:08:21+00:00

Ugh, there’s this married dude at my work who tried to make a move on me. All I did was I just treat him nicely like I do to anybody else at work. I just can’t believe their audacity. Ew.

Toomanyprollems · 2020-03-04T16:14:06+00:00

The part where she said that he made it sound like it was "our problem" was so familiar to me! When I was in my early 20s I used to hang out with this homeless old guy. (I know, I know my daddy issues were that bad.) I used to chat with him on my way home after work. He was super fucking old and homeless so I didn't think anything of it. I gave him my email because he wanted to send me some articles and after a few weeks he sent me a long email talking about how he's in love with me and what are we gonna do. I was like "what do you mean what are we gonna do? I have no- nothing to say to you about that and no feelings for you like that whatsoever and it's your problem and I'm not going to do anything about that."

But he really thought it was my problem. Psssssh. He was like 48. Despite my clueless youth I am proud of myself that I was not even the least bit nice about it. In those days I used to really coddle men's feelings but this guy was old and disgusting and i just couldn't even.

rinabean · 2020-03-04T16:34:28+00:00

That "our problem" stuff sounds like nasty manipulation. If he used language like that, I think it's called "forced teaming". And in any case, it sounds like he's constructed this whole "it takes two to tango" idea of what happened, when actually the two of them said this kind of thing was disgusting, and then he decided to try to do it anyway...

ctrlcutie · 2020-03-04T18:51:51+00:00

men like this are usually the rejects of their age group

DumbBlondeButNatural · 2020-03-04T21:14:51+00:00

That reminds me about a really creepy and sad reality check i had at 18 yo at my job.I worked in a convenience store and was badly mistreated there. A big, way older guy noticed that i was really sad all the time, had an "warm uncle" vibe around him. He often cheered me up, bought snacks for me and i was happy that there was a trustworthy and nice adult around me. He often told me about his family and his daughters (I reminded him of them, the same age etc.). I trusted him a lot and even broke down crying in front of him after mistreatment in my workplace (I don't cry in front of anyone ever). He huged me after and so on.Then one day he came with a woman his age into the store and ignored me all the time (didn't say hello or bye) which confused me a lot. He came back the same day and ASKED ME OUT.My heart and innocence was broken that day. I genuinely thought that he was the only old guy that didn't flirt with me, the only familly man that jus felt bad for a kid. I still get sad about this.

delicateearthbabe · 2020-03-04T13:47:48+00:00

OP should really go to HR about this.

ghygdryhchmmmmjj · 2020-03-04T14:31:20+00:00

It's so sad :(

fresipar · 2020-03-04T16:03:04+00:00

this is why high school (or college, too? not sure) teachers have one of the highest divorce rates -- they think they have a chance with those young girls around them, and lose respect/attraction for the wife at home. it's ridiculous.

PrettyAlien · 2020-03-04T17:05:39+00:00

"I'd rather date a 15yo boy. At least that's still older than twice my age."
"Age gap can be ok as long as I'm the older one in the relationship"
"You could be cute if you were younger, do you have a son? (: "
"If I liked old farts, I'd get one that's at least rich and about to die"

I'm kind of joking, but this relationship is already ruined, so just be honest and blunt this is HIS problem and his problem alone, and there is no way you could ever be attracted to him, what the hell is he thinking. He even has children! His audacity needs to be put in check.

When he tries to come close, tell him he now makes you feel nauseated and go away.
If he complains about it, he will have to out himself as a disgusting perverted anyway.

Cherry-Garcia- · 2020-03-04T17:57:06+00:00

He needs to know that this is NOT acceptable behavior. He can find someone attractive but that does NOT mean it’s appropriate to say anything to this person, treat them differently or try to make it that person’s problem.

Pipulka · 2020-03-04T18:42:33+00:00

I have two male friends since highschool, rest has all tried to get into my pants. I only befriend women these days.

aclumsygirl · 2020-03-04T20:33:38+00:00

Oh God, this has happened to me and i know EXACTLY how she feels. It's such a gross, creepy, inappropriate feeling. Like your own dad is hitting on you. And you feel betrayed, in a way. Like you thought he really cared about you as a father figure and all along he was trying to get in your pants. Ugh. It really sucks.

I don't "blame" these guys for the attraction, we can't control who we're attracted to. But I do blame them for acting on it. They know it isn't reciprocated, so why lay it on us? It's disgustingly selfish. Just stay away from the girl and keep your mouth shut about it.

mypepsipussy · 2020-03-05T08:56:26+00:00

Fucking typical. I expect nothing from men at this point. Not even dirt.

even_thriller · 2020-03-04T16:33:27+00:00

I had something similar happen with a coworker at my current job. He's 16+ years older than me and I thought we had a mentor/mentee dynamic until all of a sudden he asked me out for coffee. I told him I wasn't interested and remain civil but I keep things very short now when we interact with each other.

RadarFemef · 2020-03-04T19:09:12+00:00

The OP from that thread defends him and also all “age gap” relationships between old professors and their young student mentees....

Novemberinthechair · 2020-03-05T02:11:53+00:00

Awe, that happened to me too. It changed the way I interact with me forever. At the time, I felt it useful to tell the guy I didn't find him attractive and he was far too old for me. Better than a slap in the face.

FodderFigureIllushun · 2020-03-04T20:04:54+00:00

I empathize with how she feels because she didn't enter this relationship with the sole purpose of making it a romantic one. It's good that he's told her about his feelings instead of secretly stewing in them and eventually making her the villain in his mind because she didn't psychically sense his attraction and reciprocate.

Now that it's out in the open, she can set her boundaries and make it clear to him that their relationship moving forward will only be a professional one.

This is why I rarely make friends with men an adult (it was much easier when I was in college because it's like we grew up together...even that had its setbacks). They always catch feelings because of their proximity to you.

sweatydeath · 2020-03-04T22:31:01+00:00

[removed]

Title	Men are just disgusting
Author	pipapopupon
Upvotes	330
Comments	90
Date	March 4, 2020 11:32 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fdbp85/men_are_just_disgusting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-are-just-disgusting.680942 https://theredarchive.com/post/680942

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