As I was trying to sleep, my mind had way more important work to do. I couldn’t sleep until I’d written this hypothetical come back, addressed to an imaginary man who’s confronting me about my dating behaviour. That was just a prompt though, I don’t think I’d ever say this to a man I was interested in. It was more just an exercise, the result of the work I’ve been doing through being here at FDS. I write this as an unmarried and pre-kids woman. There is absolutely no judgement about anyone else’s situation. 💕💕💕💕💕

I feel really happy because it shows that my inner self is listening, and is now voicing what I’ve learned in my own words, to the point where I couldn’t sleep until I wrote it down. My brain literally got its wiring fixed and needed to print off a test page 😂😂😂

Here it is:

Honestly John, men have caused me a lot of problems over the years. They’ve taken advantage of me in various ways, and caused me significant emotional pain. I have enjoyed dating and relationships, but I’m now taking a more objective view on my life, and I can say that where men are concerned, the negatives have outweighed the positives.

I still believe in love, respect, and commitment. If anything, more so than before because I’m only interested in the real thing now, and nothing else will do. So yes, now I have my filters set to difficult mode. I can’t control or change men at large, so I do control myself.

Realistically, the next stage is even more important. Moving forwards in life with a man would entail being tied down socially, logistically, financially, and legally. I’m open to those things for the right man, and no one else.

Thinking even further ahead, for a woman to have children is an undertaking of the greatest magnitude of her life. It is likely the biggest piece of work she’ll ever do. It costs her extremes of physical, mental, and financial strength, and lasts the rest of her life. Not to mention, it risks her health and her life! It risks her future happiness, and her attractiveness for any new partner if the father of her children lets her down, as so many of them do. It also risks the entire future of her children if she selects the wrong father.

Despite all of this, it is something I want and am willing to do. But when we realistically assess the risks, I’m not going to expose myself to all that, without being as certain as I can be of who I’m doing it with. So yes, since you asked, you could say I’m giving you a hard time, and it is conscious, and it is for the best.