Well,

I come from a Muslim Arab country so you guys might not relate but I don't know who else I can ask...

I consider myself a high value woman. I'm pretty, fit, dress nicely, in my last year of medical studies and I'm already getting paid as a doctor. Whenever I go on a date, I leave them speechless, they always want to see me again. I got raised by amazing parents who got me where I am now. I'm especially thankful for my mom for teaching me to never tolerate lower value men in my life.

There's this guy I've been seeing recently who's also a doctor. He was extremely amazing , our dates were all dinners in expensive restaurants and all. And I'm wondering if I messed up because last time after our really amazing date ,cinema then dinner and wine then we went out for a walk on the beach... The full moon and the sea were perfect and we started making out and it got really sexual (it wouldn't have if I didn't accept he literally asks before every move) he asked if we should continue in the car and I said yes and that's when we were going to have sex so I said "not without a condom" he said "I trust you" I told him "why should I trust you?" Xd so we stopped and he decided we do it some other time in a better place other than his car and it will be protected.

After going home I started reflecting on my behaviour, I actually messed up because he knew I had sex before ? If guys in your Western society that girls here look up to, do judge the girls on their sexual past then it should be worse here in our fucked up society ....

My family isn't conservative but I still live in this Muslim society where conservative and non conservative people live together. And premarital sex is still taboo. The guys here all have sex before marriage and girls pretend they don't but we have one of the highest hymenoplasty rates of the world.

I didn't tell anyone I'm not a virgin not even my girlfriends who also have sex regularly and tell me. The only people who know are my 2 exes.

I really really hate being a hypocrite and never considered hymenoplasty until I came across this subreddit. Did I mess up by having a sexuality?

This last guy will maybe stop thinking of me as long term relationship material. And tbh if that's the case then I don't give a shit.

I'm just wondering if I should now consider lying and pretending that I'm a virgin or continue being the same me.