How to raise HVM?

psychsense · 2020-02-13T04:53:58+00:00

I would say

Teach him no means no- in any and all contexts

Always encourage talking about emotions and feelings

Remind him about how other people feel too, encourage putting himself in other peoples shoes.

Remind him of the inequalities in the world when you seen them such as in the media or in politics

Introduce him to gender neutral toys and games or traditionally feminine ones to encourage expression in many different ways other than traditionally masculine

Expect for him what you would expect from a daughter- to do chores, take care of other siblings, help with cooking, etc.

I hope this helps!

ghygdryhchmmmmjj · 2020-02-13T06:15:20+00:00

This is based on me remembering childhood and watching my parents interact with each other and others not me being a parent. Being a good example! Be calm and rational. Kids absorb everything. Being your wise self and having proper boundaries and expecting other adults to adhere to those boundaries ect. It's hard to explain. Advice is good, but seeing how your parent actually reacts to other adults or your direct siblings is where the learning goes on. You wanting to protect them by removing them from an abusive dad? That Sends a very high value message. It will make more sense to them later on.

MelatoninNightmares · 2020-02-14T02:46:04+00:00

The unfortunate tragedy is that every mother, since the beginning of time, has tried to raise Good Sons. And yet, statistically speaking, most men are not good men.

I've known women who are incredible parents who have absolutely garbage male children. I've known HVM who come from homes that run the whole spectrum of dysfunction.

To carefully sidestep a nature/nurture debate, I'm going to sum up my point here as, "I don't think anything a mother does or doesn't do is the defining aspect of whether or not a man will be a good man."

That said, there is plenty of research and best practices on how to create healthy, well-adjusted, emotionally intelligent, independent children. And that does seem like a good first step. Secure attachment, authoritative parenting style, healthy socialization, that sort of thing.

But here's the other thing - children model the behavior that they see. They internalize the behavior of others and create schemas - this is how the world should be, this is how I should be, this is how other people should act around me. The behavior that parents model is the most important - but it is by far not the only influence. And a parent can only control so much.

Title	How to raise HVM?
Author	blessedwiththree
Upvotes	12
Comments	3
Date	February 12, 2020 2:31 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f2s1jo/how_to_raise_hvm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-to-raise-hvm.693855 https://theredarchive.com/post/693855

Comments