How to get what I want out of this LTR?

ino_y · 2019-11-23T04:40:38+00:00

Men who want to get married, do so. You've already pulled away but you went running back without a proposal.

FemclFleshBeckyBones · 2019-11-23T06:14:29+00:00

You're not going to be happy with much of the advice you're about to get, because most of it will be to either dump him or remove him all the way down your rotation of men.

The biggest problem here is that you've already established you will put up with bad behaviour and run back to him quickly. You're already worried he's sliding back into old habits and, inevitably, he will. Men well almost always return to the baseline of least effort they feel that can get away with once the crisis passes. This is why in FDS HVW never expect anything less than goddess treatment from a man... anything less and they're kicked to the curb without a backwards glance.

2019-11-23T09:11:30+00:00

You don't make a proposal happen. He makes it happen.

I know this sub is called 'FemaleDatingSTRATEGY' but the strategy is to focus on your own needs. Don't use being inaccessible and living your own life as a strategy to get a man. We are not hunters, we are the prize.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2019-11-24T15:27:54+00:00

We started dating again while I was still seeing other people and he started putting in more effort romantically and sexually.

He only put in more effort because he realized he has male competition for your time. Men move quickly to eliminate their competition by increasing their level of effort so you can "choose" them and eliminate the other guy. If you want his effort to continue, continue to see other men who are investing more than you are.

Now. I'm going to point out a powerful and painful nugget of truth. Successful female dating strategy has to be implemented before you even meet each other. Before the first reply message is sent to him. Since you were dating him since you were 16/17, you likely made rookie mistakes along the way which tipped off your hand that you were more into him than he is into you, or that you were afraid of losing him. THIS IS A BIG MISTAKE. If you want a man to treat you well, he has to know that you're not fucking around, that you'll drop him overnight and ghost his ass as soon as he fucks up. If you have a history of forgiving him and taking him back with little to no effort from him, then you might have to accept that he's never going to truly fear losing you and treat you right. If he didn't treat you well from the very start, he never will. It NEVER happens. Men start off treating you well, and the treatment typically declines with time until you leave them. That's a sad reality of dating and it's typically irreversible. If you accepted low treatment from the start, then the situation might be fucked. You might have to start over with a new man altogether because a successful dynamic has to be established early before first contact is even established, unfortunately :(

Title	How to get what I want out of this LTR?
Author	FDS_throwaway
Upvotes	10
Comments	4
Date	November 22, 2019 11:25 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e09b0g/how_to_get_what_i_want_out_of_this_ltr/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-to-get-what-i-want-out-of-this-ltr.695232 https://theredarchive.com/post/695232

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