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FemclFleshBeckyBones Archive

View 10 posts and 344 comments by FemclFleshBeckyBones on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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61

Yeah this was a PR relationship to cover for his being gay. He used to comment on male thirst traps many years ago on twitter (those tweets are now conveniently nuked of course).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 07:33 AM
3

What's the point if you have to throw the whole male congregation away?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 03:22 AM
3

They need God in their lives? Because devout religious men haven't treated women like shit? Abused, killed, raped them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 02:58 AM
21

60-70%? Try 99.9%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 09:47 PM
3

It's actually quite simple: they're misogynists. BDSM gives them full license to act on their hatred of women. If they did in public what they do in the bedroom we would have no problem calling it abuse. But because (his) orgasms are involved, well, guess it's okay!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 03:02 AM
6

Cameras would, though. They have kinds that you can use with a peephole. The security app would alert you if someone comes to the door or, god forbid, comes inside.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 08:42 PM
3

If you have a degree do peacecorps or americorps instead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 03:56 AM
8

Pregnancy induces a hypercoaguable state to prevent hemorrhaging after birth. So likely nothing to do with the pill.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 06:33 PM
5

just for next time, never share your last name or workplace with men you've just met. Don't give out your phone number or address. Be vague without being untruthful. If they push for info it's a red flag. Personal information should be closely guarded until a man has been thoroughly vetted. There are too many LVM out there to play fast and loose with personal info.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 05:14 AM
11

I don't think the other poster couched her advice in any kind of spiritual belief. You are the one who mentioned a spiritual belief mindset and passed it off as if it applies to everyone regardless of what they happen to personally believe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:17 PM
11

It's one thing to know your worth and that you are deserving of people who treat you well in life, and another to say that there's a new age universal law that whatever you happen to believe, good or bad, manifests your reality. There's a level of personal responsibility we all must bear in shaping our lives to our desires but to push your personal spiritual beliefs on others is wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:04 PM
19

Tell that to all the women and children who are abused by worthless scrotes everyday. All the Woc who bear the harsh realities of racism day in, day out. What you're suggesting is the most vile kind of victim blaming. If the law of attraction is what you happen to believe in, keep it to yourself. Don't assume anyone believes the way you do. Don't put your beliefs on others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 07:41 PM
60

Do you really want to end up with a lackluster dude that makes a bunch of excuses as for why he can't handle the average amount of adult responsibilities? A HVM would have their shit on lock on their own, no input from you needed. This dude is not who you settle down with. Dump him so you can meet a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 08:58 PM
20

To say that these shithead lazy scrotes are feminine is to insult women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 11:18 PM
91

Or art the very least have an ironclad prenup that heavily favors the stay at home wife/mother and has a cheating clause. Even so, a HVM would encourage his wife to have her own hobbies, career, etc. Some of them bankroll passion projects for their wives just so they can build something up for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 07:26 PM
12

Don't forget the women who become a literal punching bag for the kinksick scrotes out there who feel the need to get off by physically, mentally, and verbally abusing women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 07:00 PM
9

Contrapoints is not an ally to women whatsoever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 05:38 PM
27

I also want to point out that many of these men, especially the touring musicians, are opportunistic pedophiles. They will have sex with 13/14/15 year old girls without guilt or remorse. They know that these girls idolize them and use it to their advantage. I was groomed by a very popular musician as an adolescent online (this was not a case of catfishing btw, as we regularly had conversations via webcam and he verified his identity in a number of ways). He spoke regularly of wanting to take my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 07:22 AM
-24

Honestly, if you're out of school and don't need education accommodations i don't see the point in seeking a diagnosis. I live in a large metropolitan area and there are no services here for adult high functioning autistic people, let alone any catering to autistic women and their needs. All that said, i don't really need support or services. Some social situations are difficult for me to navigate but i get through them and i keep it moving. Getting a ASD diagnosis didn't improve my life whatsoe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 03:29 PM
216

You don't ask "do you watch porn?" You ask "What kind of porn do you watch?" With a smile on your face, as if it's something you approve of. Men will happily tell on themselves if they assume it will benefit them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 10:32 PM
72

For the next time make sure you vet for porn usage before you become official. Also, one month of dating is way too soon to commit to one man! Please read the handbook thoroughly before you date again. Regardless, learning to stick to your guns and enforce your boundaries is a worthwhile skill and it's great that you did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 07:13 PM
179

Just another form of pimping.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 10:32 PM
15

You answered everything i was curious about, thank you! Love and respect can't exist where dehumanization reigns. The vast majority of men don't even see women as human beings. How can you build a relationship with someone who objectifies you? You simply can't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 10:14 PM
28

Oh 100% I advise that women only look for female providers, especially when it comes to primary care, mental health care, and OBGyn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 10:08 PM
114

The only person you should tell your trauma to is a therapist. Maybe a few strongly vetted female friends or family members if you really feel the need to. Men really can't be trusted with that kind of information.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 04:26 PM
16

I'm curious to know what you loved about sex prior to your revelations. Because of the orgasms? Male attention? Are you saying you enjoyed sex before because you were under the impression that the men you has sex with cared about you on some level (even if the sex was casual) and now that you know men use women as masturbation tools (that is to say, objects) you have reframed those experiences as negative? Or is it something else?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 04:22 PM
133

If you can find one, go to a female only gym! It's so nice to work out in peace. No one hits on you, you can wear whatever you want without worrying about some scrote creeping on you, and the other ladies are so nice and supportive!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 06:36 AM
90

Yeah, it doesn't matter if this account is run by a man, because there are plenty of Trad Pickmes willing to be loud and proud handmaidens to this shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 03:51 PM
129

Men are the biggest sluts there are. They'll use and abuse others just to get off. Hell, they'll stick it in anything that even slightly qualifies as a warm, moist hole. Then they have the audacity to offload their shame and guilt on women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 03:31 PM
27

This worthless scrote is telling her he would like to make her info a rape slave if the opportunity arose and she's still entertaining their relationship. We're conditioned to be considerate of fucking rapists and abusers! This woman can't see that her boyfriend doesn't see her as a human being. Men don't love women... they only love the services women provide. And the worst part is there are too many brainwashed Pickmes who are eager to line up and be some shitty scrote's Mommy Bangmaid Abuse R…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 03:11 PM
5

Also a crucial ingredient for self protection is to be in good physical shape! You need to be able to run fast to get away from dangerous situations and there are sadly so many women who can't sprint for even just 30 yards without collapsing into a wheezing heap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 09:54 PM
18

So many women are desperate and hungry for "love" that they'll take whatever scraps are thrown their way and cling to them for dear life. They'll take a hearty helping of abuse/disdain/contempt with a tiny sprinkling of care on top and beat themselves up for wanting better. It's a goddamn tragedy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 06:14 PM
13

Look into getting a BedJet system sis. It's like air conditioning for your bed, where the cool (or warm if you prefer) air gets circulated under you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 07:07 PM
86

Men have been hating and harming women for far longer than porn has been around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 07:45 AM
2

She's not an MD, she has a doctorate in education.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 08:28 PM
2

Buddhist monks visualize similar images when faced with sexual and romantic reputation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 07:36 PM
39

Meeting other women through shared interest/hobby meetups, career networking opportunities, and volunteering are the best way to find HVW acquaintances. Expect conversations to be superficial initially! Here's how I filter out people to pursue friendships with in a group setting: Pay attention to how the superficial conversations go and determine who you might want to be better friends with. Picking up on small cues and mannerisms here is helpful. For example, who likes to insert petty remarks i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 07:09 PM
13

Domestic violence is a huge problem in South Korea and women there do not have the same legal protections women in the US do when it comes to crimes like marital r*pe. If you have a career and become pregnant you can kiss your job goodbye. I don't blame Korean women for opting out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 06:14 AM
1

Tell me more about these YTers with rental boyfriends. I want to check out their channels.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 05:33 PM
11

Collapse in the US is already in motion. Climate change is wreaking havoc in the western US right now and water scarcity is already a concern. There will be states fighting over water rights within the next 2 or 3 years if not sooner. If you're paying attention shit is grim. But women will have to face additional hardships and even more sex-based violence. I think a lot of women will be forced into extreme Pickme scenarios just to survive. I fear for the younger women and girls coming up today. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 05:24 PM
3

Or learn how to do menstrual extraction with a group of girlfriends and stock up on the kits in bulk. Plan B is "less effective" for women 155 lbs, which, frankly, given the obesity epidemic in the US, is most women. Collapse scenarios are grim af for women no matter how you cut it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 05:13 PM
1

Sis, no. Why are you so defensive about men's status in relation to women's, here? Why do you care if women think they're superior to men? Men harbor no qualms whatsoever about feeling superior to YOU. It's an unquestionable fact to many of them, even a God-given right to many. They don't give two fucks what you or I have to say about it, either. Because if they did, they'd: stop beating, raping, and killing us and actually respect our bodily autonomy; recognize that pornography and prostitution…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 05:18 PM
7

Can you get home asap and get on Medicaid so you can get treatment? Your issues sound severe enough that online resources are not going to be enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:52 PM
6

Oh, in that case, I don't recommend marriage for anyone under 25 (30 would be better). I would encourage young women to to focus first and foremost on school and their career. Men should be at best a distant fourth or fifth priority (after friends, family, hobbies, etc). Feel free to date but don't entertain a serious relationship. I've known way too many young women whose dreams and goals were dashed because they got caught up in a relationship with a LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:49 PM
0

What's the reason for waiting four years?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:42 PM
6

The point is, a man should know whether he wants to marry you or not within 1-2 years (18 months or so is ideal). If he doesn't pop the question within that time frame he's either indecisive by nature (in itself a red flag) or afraid of commitment (again, a red flag).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 12:39 PM
56

Yeah, my first thought was, don't expect anything positive to come from this. Religious groups often like to preach "forgiveness" in situations like these and rarely, if ever, actually kick people out of congregations because many don't believe it's the christian thing to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 02:55 AM
69

It doesn't matter if they're neurotypical or not, if you're not getting the amount of affection you want/need, 99% of the time it's best to cut your losses and leave. Negotiating for more affection rarely turns out favorably. That's a fundamental aspect of a relationship for many women that they often feel deprived of because men collectively can't get their shit together when it comes to healthy emotional expression. Moreover, many men have hidden behind neurodivergent labels (like Asperger's, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/21 10:31 AM
5

I changed my last name to break from the "legacy" of my NVM father. Because none of the women matrilineally had their own surnames, I just named myself. One of the best decisions I've ever made. And I'll never change it if i get married. You can have a surname that is a color, a flower, a tree, or whatever else you like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 07:08 AM
10

And while we sit here and squabble over the false empowerment of makeup, men sit back and laugh at us while they exert real power in the world and remain wholly unconcerned with being beautiful themselves. Meanwhile women spend billions upon billions on makeup and skincare and makeup while owning less than 1% of the world's property, doing the majority of the domestic work FOR FREE, and making pennies for every dollar a male earns for the same damn job. For all the woman here getting defensive a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:53 PM
11

The animal argument doesn't work, because for one: it's the males who are often the more colorful/ornamental/whatever to attract females to mate, and two, animals don't have any choice as to what attributes they have. They're born with their features and that's that. They're not buying products to change their appearance. And to think that by wearing "war paint" as a woman, when the expectation to do so is created by men, the war supplies are furnished by men (and they profit from it), and then …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:42 PM
19

Not to mention, who make up the majority of the CEOs of these makeup companies? MEN. Men create the need/demand for makeup in women, and then profit from it. Handsomely. Even if you're buying vanity makeup brands designed by women (like a youtube guru), the manufacturing, packaging, and distribution are through companies owned by men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 07:15 PM
25

Nonverbal cues can be learned. Speak to a knowledgeable therapist if you want to learn more about how to interpret body language.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:21 PM
2

Kim Krizan was a co-writer on Before Sunrise. She's in Linklater's Slacker as an actor too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 07:40 PM
1

And Kim Krizan
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 06:58 PM
85

It's too bad Jesse is a LVM. Love these movies though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 12:24 AM
2

Unfortunately social media is a terrible venue to share traumatic experiences, because you never know what people will respond with. This puts the sharers in an incredibly vulnerable position, because most people, due to their own hangups and lack of education, don't know how to deal with trauma, they don't know how to be sensitive, or their worldview is just so small and selfish that they can't comprehend others pain. If you really need to talk about your experiences with others (besides your t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:23 PM
42

Sis you've already lost the vetting game because you're with a manchild who can't clean up after himself without you coaching him every step away of the way. You deserve better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 07:34 AM
5

Please go back and read the handbook until you internalize the knowledge.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 01:20 AM
5

Early vetting stages? He's already shown you he's a LVM. You block and delete at the sign of the first red flag, let alone allow multiple to pile up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 12:26 AM
13

Sis, what are you doing? He's 40 with toddler habits. You've seen multiple red flags. Dump his ass and never look back. You're not practicing FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 07:16 PM
49

Christianity is a patriarchal religion, full stop. I know a lot of women try to twist and bend scripture to suit a modern feminist lifestyle but the Bible is pretty clear on where it wants women to be in relation to men and what roles women ought to play. I'm so glad i left the church and became an atheist. I will never go back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/21 08:09 PM
1

Sis... i never said you that your experiences didn't happen to you. And this sub is just as much about tough love and confronting hard to swallow truths as it is support. And i didn't assume about therapy, i qualified what i said with an "if" and followed it up with a suggestion. I find it interesting that you assumed i posted my comment with malice, which I did not. Part of leveling up is becoming emotionally resilient, and learning to choose whom to listen to and how much weight we give to wha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 09:44 PM
2

Sis, the opinions of trash value people, whether male or female, should not have such a negative effect on you. If you're not already, see a therapist to work on building healthy self esteem so you know not to let their bullshit bother you anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 07:51 PM
14

She has a book about her experiences being prostituted called Paid For that i highly recommend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:50 AM
7

You wouldn't be talking to a lot of men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 03:48 AM
41

Also, read this from the handbook to get an idea of what healthy sex looks like: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ikusjv/guide_to_sex_for_virgins_from_a_exvirgin/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:19 PM
65

I wrote this a while ago, maybe it will help you: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gk084o/kinkmeisha_reform_school_101_the_basics/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:11 PM
2

What? The reasons you stated as to why American women started shaving isn't true. In the early 1900s Gillette introduced a safer razor for shaving that became extremely popular among men, and the company wanted to expand the market to include women. They started advertising in popular women's magazines to encourage shavinv in women. Then, in the 1920s, fashion trends led to higher hemlines (think flapper dresses) and sheer hosiery became the norm (whereas before women wore thick stockings) and a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 03:45 PM
11

Well, we'll be lucky to have 1B after climate change comes to fuck us all in our lifetimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 07:00 PM
7

Kink is self-harm by proxy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 07:20 AM
422

I read her memoir, she really was drugged out of her mind for years, showing up to work strung out af, hallucinating that rats were crawling all over her and her stuff in her apartment, letting nasty dudes use and abuse her body sexually. Mommy and daddy and a wealthy grandmother kept footing the bill for her bullshit, including sveral stints in rehab. She was just so WILD and BROKEN and CRAZY y'all! She still trades on the coked up party girl image despite being almost 40. Mess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 06:43 AM
15

The Creation of Patriarchy by Gerda Lerner Radical Feminism: A Documentary Reader by Barbara Crow Against Our Will by Susan Brownmiller Loving to Survive by Dee L.R. Graham Search radical feminism on lists on goodreads to find more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 02:53 AM
6

It will be the best thing you ever do for yourself to get away from that rapist pos. You can do it sister.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:43 PM
5

There is an excellent book called Loving to Survive that talks about this. I've found an excerpt that explicitly addresses it: "Bart has identified a heterosexual sex-rape continuum. At one end is consensual sex both parties equally desire sex). At the other is rape. In between are altruistic sex (one party submits out of guilt, duty, or pity) and compliant sex (one party submits because the consequences of not submitting are worse than those of submitting). Using Bart’s conceptualization, [rese…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:35 PM
9

There is a whole book about this called "Women of Ideas and What Men Have Done to Them" by Dale Spender
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 05:29 PM
7

you can tell him to delete those videos but you will never know for sure if he does it or not. Even if he makes a show of deleting them in front of your face he could have backups. So you need to assume those videos are out there and other people have seen them already and you don't have any control over that. Don't have sex with anyone again until you can assert your boundaries. You put yourself in harm's way and for what? To appease some dumbfuck male who gives little to no shit about you? you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 09:26 PM
8

Ben Affleck didn't direct it, David Fincher did. And Gillian Flynn wrote the script. If you listen to the director's commentary by Fincher, he talks about Affleck being a shady fuckboy a couple of different times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:57 PM
17

This this this this motherfucking this. This is the idealogical conundrum at the heart of FDS. Maybe a handful of HVM exist, but if so, only in such tiny numbers that most women will never ever meet them, much less marry them. And if that's the case, then what are women to do? Because if HVM are so rare, you can't strategize your way into a relationship with one, because encountering one has more to do with sheer luck than anything else. What then are heterosexual (and bisexual) women who want/n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:09 PM
2

Religious, traditional men pay lip service to "hating porn" but they are consuming it, albeit in secret.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:03 PM
5

The point is that HVM may exist, but only in such tiny numbers that women will vastly outnumber them and meeting these mythical HVM becomes mostly a matter of luck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 11:01 PM
19

95%? More like 99.99%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/20 10:57 PM
19

"Domination" can encompass a wide variety of acts/behaviors, so without knowing what you mean by it, exactly, I can't tell you if it's an issue (in that it's unhealthy).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 05:35 AM
29

You ask them when their last relationship was and if it's anything less than 6 months you block and delete. You don't have time to be the rebound girl they use to get over their ex (while they're still probably talking to their ex while they're talking to you, no doubt).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 02:41 AM
19

Does it involve violence, degradation, humiliation? If so, then it isn't healthy. Does the roleplay attempt to simulate pedophilia (ageplay, ddlg, etc.), rape/sexual assault, misogyny, etc.? Then no, you shouldn't engage in it. I also don't think it is wise to let a man physically restrain you to the point where you are helpless without his intervention (being tied up with rope, for example), because I have heard too many stories of sexual assault and rape happening in the kink community from su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 02:11 AM
56

The utter lack of self respect... you hate to see it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 03:50 PM
7

There is nothing "zero tolerance" about staying with this fuckboy and your Pickmeisha days are alive and well given that you're still entertaining his trash ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 03:48 PM
23

/u/Implode_Woooosh ladies, this is why you vet men ruthlessly. This is why you don't give men wifey benefits without a ring on your finger and a marriage license and it's sure as fuck why you don't give so much of yourself to selfish, cheap, no-value fuckboys who can't even please you in bed,
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 11:38 PM
30

Sis, he is a lazy, irresponsible man that can't even do the bare minimum to take care of himself. He is a bonafide couch creature with no job! Why are you staying? You should never move in with this man, ever. There's nothing respectable about him per your description. Dump him and move on with your life. Surely being alone would be better than this? Go to therapy to address the abuse, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 04:52 PM
17

The only thing I can think of are some of those new age-y tantric yoga women who develop their pelvic floor muscles so much they can lift heavy objects suspended from their vaginas. Sex for them tends to be very spiritual, very woo woo. They offer things like ~sacred sexuality~ workshops in Bali for women and couples. They seem to be living their best sexual lives but who knows if it's actually real or just a marketing angle. Speaking of pelvic floor muscles, there was a woman recently who made …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/20 05:22 AM
14

+1 for Dworkin, a true heroine for the cause. I often wonder what she'd think of all this bullshit plaguing women today if she were still alive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 06:24 PM
12

Jessica Valenti, queen of liberal feminism? Issa no from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 06:12 PM
18

This woman is in a three-way relationship between her husband and his mom. Let this be a cautionary tale to all the women vetting potential partners: if a man runs and tells everything about your relationship to his mother (or father/sister/brother/whatever), dump his ass and never look back, because that's unhealthy enmeshment. It says he doesn't truly think for himself, can't emotionally regulate without mommy, and can't establish healthy boundaries. Besides that, why would you want to play se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 04:37 AM
42

This woman is in a three-way relationship between her husband and his mom. Let this be a cautionary tale to all the women vetting potential partners: if a man runs and tells everything about your relationship to his mother (or father/sister/brother/whatever), dump his ass and never look back, because that's unhealthy enmeshment. It says he doesn't truly think for himself, can't emotionally regulate without mommy, and can't establish healthy boundaries. Besides that, why would you want to play se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 04:35 AM
4

So-called lesbian porn is full of straight women pretending to be lesbian for male gratification. It has nothing to to with actual lesbian sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 08:11 PM
32

Throw the whole man away. There's nothing to be confused about. You're the sidechick Pickmeisha to some fuckboy and his main girl. You can't try to manuever this into a situation that's beneficial to you because you're emotionally invested and they hold all the negotiating power. You. Can't. Win. Your best bet is take off the clown makeup and walk away for good. Never do poly again. Never get this dickmatized for a loser fuckboy again. Stop running around with LVM. Oh, and read the Handbook over…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 07:53 PM
8

I think there is something to the immoral stuff, that it clashes a lot with the sub's idea of what it means to be "high value". Does a HVW objectify men, manipulate them and use them selfishly without regard for their feelings and desires? Are HVW allowed to do things we wouldn't accept as high value traits in men (and would, most likely, flag them as LVM and therefore undateable/unfuckable)? I think this is where a big disconnect exists for a lot of users, because for most (?), a HVW is a moral…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 03:22 AM
34

Sis, I was on your last strategy post and left a comment, and I posted what I did not because I was motivated to for moral reasons (though I do think it is best suited for darktriadwomen) but because you are needlessly complicating what is otherwise a straightforward sex/dating strategy with a bunch of jargon and acronyms that you made up specifically for your series. I don't care that you want/have FWBs. I'm not morally outraged by any of that. I agree with you about the memes and low effort im…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 02:58 AM
1

A video game is not a substitute for real life! If someone games casually (like others consume tv shows on occasion) that's one thing, but if someone connects through gaming socially in a big way, or spends several days a week every week gaming, it's a huge red flag. Think of all that time wasted that could have spent on leveling up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 08:35 PM
21

Why is this stickied by the mods? The second post in this series got a whopping 8 upvotes and a lot of flack in the comments. All of the acronyms are cringe-inducing. If you have to think and strategize this much about having sex it takes all the fun out of it. This is probably better suited to the dark triad sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 08:22 PM
14

Sis, being alone would be better than dealing with your manchild husband for the rest of your life. If you divorce you'll still need to co-parent, obviously, but you wouldn't be living with him and nagging after him just to do the bare minimum. Yes, you could find a HVM after divorce. We have women in this sub who found love after divorce, with kids, etc. Go back to the lawyer. Be a role model for your daughter. What does it say to her that you continually put up with your husband's low value be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 05:46 PM
13

Sis, this coupled with your last post tell me you need to take a break from dating and work on leveling up. Why? Because women with full vibrant lives don't obsess over someone like you did with the guy you were seeing. You got good advice on your last post, but you're already back asking questions about the smallest things. You'll often never truly know why people do the awful things they do, and it doesn't make sense to continue wringing your hands together about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 05:30 PM
3

He was fresh out of a serious relationship? Sis, you were the rebound girl. NEVER be the rebound girl! You were just a distraction from his ex. Never ever date a man who just ended a relationship. Six months relationship free is the minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 04:01 PM
5

Sis, this guy should have been blocked and disregarded immediately. Your bar is set way too fucking low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 09:23 PM
23

There's a book called Seductress which profiles real women throughout history that had a magnetic effect on men and the women are categorized by types. There's a section on "belle laides", for women who were considered plain or ugly. The common theme uniting all the women (not just the belle laides) is that they're all unabashedly themselves and give zero fucks what anyone else has to say about it. I recommend the book generally but the flowery language gets annoying. Anyway, focus not on cateri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 09:08 PM
4

If you're being honest about your experiences you need to stop any kind of contact with men and get into therapy and stay there until you've worked through your trauma and issues. Your post history is very disturbing and your obsession with being "too old" for men at 19 suggests that you have been in contact with pedophiles and been abused by them. Get help, because there's no good that can come from continuing on this path.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 05:02 AM
11

"this is stoic "manly" dude who thinks therapy is dumb" "HVM" ...does not compute. This is not an FDS success story. You did not act on FDS principles and you acted like a LVW, per your own admission. I'm glad you're happy with this supposedly HVM (press X to doubt) but this isn't content that is relevant to this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 12:45 AM
29

You're missing the point of waiting. Women bear a disproportionate amount of the burden of reproductive responsibility. If you sleep with a man on the first date, you are putting yourself at incredible risk because you know nothing about his character. You don't know if he has STDs. You don't know if he's abusive. You could get pregnant (birth control fails, condoms break) and then what? If you choose to abort, will he pony up the cash? Well he take you to the clinic, shield you from crazy pro-l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 03:33 AM
20

Boundaries aren't truly boundaries unless crossing them comes with consequences that are enforced. If you tell someone you have a boundary, but they cross it and no consequences are given, you have essentially communicated that your boundaries are aren't worth worrying about (in his eyes).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 07:48 PM
7

It's more than that though. It's the idea that men must earn wifey privileges (any kind of domestic work, nurturing, etc) by actually wifing you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 03:16 PM
8

A hardcore FDS woman that sticks strictly to the rules would never cook for a man until they're married, or do it very rarely (once or twice perhaps, on a very special occasion). Then again, that same woman wouldn't be exclusive with any man until she gets an engagement ring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 02:42 PM
7

It's definitely wifey shit, sis. She's going out of her way to nurture/provide for him, even if it's a project they're working on together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 02:34 PM
22

How long have you been dating? Are you exclusive? It's definitely wifey shit. Any kind of caretaking/nurturing like that is. Save it for your friends and family. This reminds me of that recent post in one of the relationship subs about a woman who started cooking healthy lunches for her boyfriend to take to work everyday. She spent hours every week prepping and cooking for about a year and her boyfriend raved about the lunches and thanked her profusely. Come to find out, he hated the food and ga…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/20 02:30 PM
-4

This should not be Brand New Information to you. Read the handbook. Marriage minded FDS women who are truly dedicated to the rules will never be a girlfriend. They're either single, a fiancee, or a wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 07:09 AM
15

Girl, you obviously haven't read the Handbook. Please do so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 02:31 AM
13

Sis, you tried it and flopped. Take the L with grace and humility and go back to the handbook and keep reading and learning until you can read the room.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 05:32 PM
6

Just about anything worth doing is difficult and takes time and effort. Unless you have a learning disability you can learn new things, gain knowledge, acquire new skills, and become smarter. Even if you do have a learning disability, there's treatment available. It takes about 10k hours to become an expert on anything. Read the book Talent is Overrated for more about this. We live in an era with an abundance of information at our fingertips. There's a tutorial out there for just about anything …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 05:13 PM
25

Take that anger and use it to fuel a productive change in your life. The best revenge is a life we'll lived. Show him he truly doesn't matter to you anymore, that he's not worth getting upset about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 01:05 AM
75

He's content to get wifey benefits from you until his true wife comes along.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/01/20 01:02 AM
1

Female exclusive bisexual female. I only date women. Sis, I gotta say, you're like an alien on safari here, with the way you're asking all of these questions. Very stiff, formal, and awkward. Learn to code switch? You might get more engagement. Anyway, legal marriage is like a leap of faith. It's another level of commitment that gets the government involved. You get some perks and privileges, but breaking up becomes a legal process and potentially a huge hassle. There are things you can do upfro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 09:25 PM
1

I'm more about a wedding than a marriage certificate, tbh. To exchange vows (that are unique to us and not taken from traditional/religious sources) with my beloved in front of friends and family, to celebrate our union with them, to wear beautiful clothing and have lovely pictures taken... that's what I'd like. I could also elope and exchange the vows privately and hold a reception later to celebrate. Most importantly, I'd love to find someone that makes taking that next step of commitment a jo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 05:10 PM
36

Can I just give shout out to the mods? When I joined back in Oct it wasn't unusual to see several comments from scrotes several times a day. I'd spend time blocking and reporting them on the regular. Now I rarely, if ever, see scrotes around. Thanks for keeping this sub truly female only and for booting these scrotes to the curb! You all rock!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 12:56 AM
42

Ooh I forgot to address this and will edit it into the post later. There are a lot of straight/bi/bicurious married/partnered women who jump on the old apps looking for a threesome partner. The sneakier ones neglect to mention that's what their purpose is and try to wine and dine you first before dropping the threesome bomb. I've seen a lot of bi women fall for these games ( lesbians tend to steer clear) and get hurt. A lot of times the wife/gf isn't actually sexually into women (or they think t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/20 05:24 AM
11

I push for women to put their own interests, hobbies, career, health, and friendships above a romantic relationship. The idea is for women to build full, exciting, wonderful lives outside of sex, romance, motherhood, and marriage, because HVM are rare and it's entirely possible a HVW may never enter into a relationship with one. In FDS philosophy it's better to be alone than to settle with a LVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 11:36 PM
1

Are you dating other men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 05:12 PM
17

I remember talking to a guy from okcupid (this was years and years ago) who I caught in a lie about something in his profile, and when I confronted him about it (it's been so long I don't remember what it was about) he confessed and said he did it to broaden his dating prospects. I said that was unacceptable, that I wasn't interested anymore, and he sent me paragraph upon paragraph of bullshit trying to justify his lie. I never bothered reading them. A full five years later he was in my inbox wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 05:05 PM
32

They like it because they assume you won't complain or nag when they do things you don't like or don't do the things you want them to. So it's a red flag in that sense. Those dudes are basically telling you there thrilled to find someone they believe they can be their full LVM selves with and never hear anything negative about it. Hard pass from me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 04:58 PM
9

There's more to a relationship than physical attraction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 01:37 AM
30

What's worse is that a lot of surrogates are trafficked and their "handlers" are the ones who pocket the vast majority of the money.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 11:52 PM
18

Start accomplishing things, even if they're small things at first. Eat right, volunteer, get into the gym, build your career, get your finances in order, etc. When you put in the hard work and start seeing the benefits it's one of the best feelings ever and pumps you up to keep going. That's how you build strong confidence, when you realize and feel on a deep level that you can get shit done when you take a dream and make it reality. Most people coast through life, walking the path of least resi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 07:25 PM
20

What i find interesting is that the author is a single mom by choice and went the sperm donor route. Her latest book focuses a lot on the emotional turmoil she experienced after getting dumped by her fiance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 07:15 PM
5

To be fair, she got permission from clients and did composites anyway, so the people depicted in her latest book aren't anyone specific to her practice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/20 07:13 PM
1

I heard that wgtow is ruin by A TiM who uses it to collect info on the women there. I hope that's not true. We need to be more protective of female only spaces. Unfortunately our socialization makes a lot of us pushovers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 03:32 PM
9

Sis. This isn't what your twenties are for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 12:36 AM
9

Please don't tell me you're a forever girlfriend. How long have you been together?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 05:20 PM
6

Dental dams and gloves, sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/20 05:17 PM
48

John Mayer, ultimate fuckboy. I remember an interview he gave in the 00s (it may have been the infamous Playboy one) where he talked openly about his porn addiction and how he was still a ~gOoD gUy~ to women because he paid attention to the perfume they wear or some dumb shit like that. He always came off obnoxious and exhausting. He also hit The Wall hard. He's so doughy and bloated now. I feel bad for Jessica. I hope she's much happier now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/20 03:07 PM
17

Gotta be honest, I'm not sure this content is relevant for this sub. Maybe it would be better suited to a sugarbaby sub (assuming they exist, anyway)? I say that because FDS is all about putting women's genuine interests FIRST, and refraining from catering to what we think men want. So picking up a hobby or a major just to entice a wealthy man to spend money on us isn't really in the spirit of this sub, imo. Personally I couldn't give less of a fuck what some wealthy man who frequents Seeking Ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 01:09 AM
23

Yeah! Live your best life with no man to drag you down, sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 01:13 AM
14

Nah, she made a lot of mistakes and ignored a lot of red flags. Talking about his ex all the time on dates and negatively? Nah, that's not gonna fly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 12:38 AM
46

You were a rebound girl. A distraction after a long term relationship breakup. Things you did wrong/red flags you ignored: Tried to get a serious relationship out of someone who just got out of a serious, longterm relationship. Told you he checked out of his last relationship for months but stayed with his girlfriend anyway. This tells you he's either a coward for not not ending a relationship he's not interested in, or he wanted to use her for sex/rent/gf benefits until he got his shit together…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 12:36 AM
7

It's he really all that high in EQ if he engages in polyamory and did that shit to you at a party? He just sounds like a selfish asshole who doesn't care who he hurts in his quest to get what he wants. Thank your lucky stars you didn't end up in anything serious with this dude. I know it's hard to see him with your friend but remember that you don't know what goes on in their relationship behind closed doors. He may be pulling the same or worse bullshit with her. Even if they are technically mon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/20 05:31 PM
9

Block, delete, and forget about this guy. Texting will never lead to real intimacy! That can only be built in person, face-to-face. Two months and no date? He's definitely not into you. You think if a guy is crazy about you, he'll wait two months to ask you out? Fuck no! Don't fall into these texting relationships. LVM love to get into these bc it provides a fun flirty distraction and an ego boost with no real effort on his part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 11:53 PM
12

Sis, love yourself and rid yourself of your Pickmeisha ways.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 08:31 PM
17

This is where some background checking can come into play. Look into his social media presence; do a deep dive, and pay special attention to content and engagement. What kinds of comments does he leave for others? Others for him? What does he like and interact with? Does he keep it professional? Have respectful interactions? Or does he get into squabbles with people, and/or post about or like questionable things? Is he following a bunch of Instagram "models"? And so on. Do Google searches, too. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 08:13 PM
47

This is why patriarchal religions are bad fucking news. Religions that perceive God as male and champion men over women create men that perceive women as objects and subordinates and emboldens them to think consequences don't apply to them when they hurt women. This is an issue in society at large but when it's combined with patriarchal religious influences the problem often seems to become so much worse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 03:48 PM
15

Block his ass on every social media account you're connected to. Put the phone down and invest time in interests and hobbies that take you away from online stuff. Use this time and nervous energy to level up in some way... at the gym, art work, in school, etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 03:42 PM
29

There's a new book out called Failure to Launch by Mark McCoonville that talks about why this is happening and how to help parents/kids get through it. I haven't read it myself so I can't say whether it's good or bad but it might be helpful to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 03:25 PM
54

Sis, be careful. The last thing any woman needs is a basement dweller for a son who never leaves home. I don't know how you prevent that as a mother but I hope your son snaps out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 02:44 PM
29

Men would fare better if they toom the time they waste on OLD swiping through every profile in a ridiculous attempt to play the numbers game and actually, you know, leveled up on a personal level. These LVM aren't interested in mutually beneficial relationships anyway, they're looking for desperate Pickmeishas who will give them girlfriend/wifey benefits without asking for much in return.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 06:59 AM
85

Love for women is marketed as a transformative experience... for the man. We're taught there's no greater satisfaction than being the catalyst for a man's transformation from someone mediocre into someone extraordinary. You are the woman who magically unlocks a man's potential and turns it into accomplishment. You are the ultimate inspiration. We're taught to want to be that woman, that exception, that key. But it's all bullshit. It might actually happen on rare occasions but the vast majority o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 08:34 PM
32

Love bombers try to create a narrative to justify their inappropriate level of interest. They say things like "I've never felt this way about anyone before" and try to make you feel like their soulmate even though you barely know each other. They're so convinced of your specialness that they are willing to jump into a love affair immediately. But again, they don't really know you... they're just trying to feed the high of a whirlwind romance and trying to suck you in. They can be very charismati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 05:48 AM
88

Also, just think about it... why would you want to be with a man who gets sexual gratification from humiliating you, or hitting you, or degrading you? To think that a man can link pleasure to those things is a sign that something in his psyche is deeply fucked up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 05:26 AM
0

This ain't the 1950s sis, there are tons of infertile and childfree women out here living their best lives without children in the picture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 07:37 PM
3

20%? More like 1-3%
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 07:31 PM
2

You presumably have time to swipe through men on OLD apps, vet them before dating, and go on dates though? You could use that time elsewhere to meet men irl. If nothing else taking a break from OLD saves you time and energy you'd otherwise be expending on wading through fuckboys Bottom line is, HVM are rare and there are simply not enough of them to go around for all the HVW out there. This is why I think women should focus on careers, family, friendships, and hobbies, because being alone but ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 07:27 PM
4

Well that's better but the coffee thing is still shit!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 05:29 PM
7

Sis, going for coffee and going to the movies are not high quality date ideas. They're fuckboy dates. Don't settle for anything less than dinner at a nice restaurant (Chilis and Applebees aren't nice).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 05:15 PM
12

Are you in a good spot to be dating right now? FDS is just as much about becoming and being a HVW as it is looking for a HVM. Maybe it would be better to take a break from dating and work on your career so you can afford therapy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 06:24 PM
17

Therapy, asap. If you have unresolved issues from a previous abusive relationship that prevent you from accepting this man's good behavior without anxiety then there's no quick fix that will suddenly make it go away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 05:20 PM
41

He's ugly. But more importantly, his morals are shit, and clearly, he values making money over anything else. Greed is one of the worst traits a person can have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 05:18 PM
5

Invisible by Michelle Lent Hirsch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 05:10 PM
65

OLD is a meat market, first and foremost. You might stumble upon a HVM there out of sheer luck but it's not a good place to spend your time and energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 04:06 PM
16

Girl, this guy point blank told you he's not that interested in you and doesn't want to make the effort. Believe men when they tell you what they are and how they feel! Regardless of what you happen to believe about his value, his stock just plummeted because he doesn't want to be an excellent boyfriend TO YOU. He may as well be a low value fuckboy now. Let this guy go and work on the Pickmeisha bullshit. Read the mandatory reading parts on the wiki over and over again so you stop making the sam…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 05:00 AM
46

Last year i read a book about women with chronic illnesses and disabilities and there was a while ass section about how, when a woman becomes seriously ill, the majority of boyfriends and husbands bounce the fuck out. Like way over half. They can't handle it and they don't want to be bathing their wife with cancer, or helping her to the toilet, or helping her perform other basic needs. They get pressed about the lack of sex. They don't want to be caretakers. They would rather cut their losses an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 02:44 PM
20

Stop texting this fool. If he's too much of a coward to ask you out or talk face to face he's not worth your time anyway, full stop. In FDS women never pursue. Please read all of the posts in the wiki's recommended reading section.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 02:36 PM
9

What a vile piece of shit. He had the nerve to gaslight you about his rapist ways. too. Fucking garbage. I'm so sorry you had this happen to you, especially when you were in such a vulnerable place and he fully exploited that vulnerability. I hope you are able to get the help you need while at the hospital and I hope your family really steps up to support you during this outrageous tragedy. And, of course, we'll also be here for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 07:51 PM
13

He's a shitty user, don't do any favors for him ever again. He's depending on people to be pushovers to get what he wants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 12:48 PM
59

Conventional beauty goes a long way with men but it doesn't guarantee anything, either. For example, beautiful women get cheated on ALL THE TIME. Fucking Beyonce got cheated on! By ugly ass Jay Z! Zayn cheated on Gigi Hadid on the regular (though I suppose you could argue she cheated on him just as much, if you believe the rumours). Because men see women as objects and not as people they will continue to treat women like shit even if she's beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 12:44 PM
46

Men like him don't seriously date/marry women like you, because of race/culture/religious reasons, like you said. But plenty of them will string you along as a sidepiece so long as it suits them, and sometimes they keep you hooked through expensive gifts. You've already crossed a boundary in this relationship. It's going to be nigh impossible to go back to being just friends. Prepare for a lot of messy bullshit if you choose to stay involved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 12:51 AM
27

Sis, this is really irresponsible. In a perfect world guys would have a wide range of birth control options and split contraceptive responsibility 50/50, but that's not the world we live in. You have to be solely responsible for not getting pregnant and contacting STIs. Condomless sex without birth control puts you in a very vulnerable position... and you will have to bear the brunt of the consequences, whether that's having an abortion (and potentially paying for it all by yourself) or carrying…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 04:35 PM
42

In a lot of cases, it's so they can share dick pics without the risk of being booted from the platform. Women can't report bad behavior through the app if it happens off site. They're trying to protect their accounts from their bullshit behavior. It also gives them another avenue to keep tabs on you and get more of your personal information. On a lot of social media accounts you can search for a phone number and find someone's account. This is why I suggest that women don't move off of the apps …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 02:31 PM
15

You can wait as long as you want to, but you're putting yourself at great risk if you wait until marriage. There was a post on reddit not too long ago where a woman told her story, that her husband insisted on putting off sex until marriage because he had an ulterior motive: he didn't want her to know he had a micropenis. He thought getting married would prevent her from breaking up with him once she found out. That said, you don't want to go into marriage with any potential for big surprises se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 09:43 PM
4

Why bother dating during your time off celibacy? I could understand if you just purely want to go on dates and never develop anything serious but if you're looking for something serious maybe wait? Even though you could just not have sex until engagement or something (a good fds approved strategy imo).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 02:06 PM
7

Yes. How is this even in question?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 02:01 PM
1

*Reach my goal weight. *Read 100 books (mostly nonfiction). I read 75 this year (my goal) but I've done 150 before so i want to get back up there. *Get a 4.0 both semesters. *Go to the gym 6 times a week. *Develop and stick with a skincare routine that adequately addresses my issues. *Find another org to volunteer with. *Take aerial yoga classes with friends. *Continue to learn Japanese. *Go full whole foods plant based diet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 12:50 PM
7

Men are slaves to novelty and fantasy. Always thirsting for what they can't have, always tormented by "what if" scenarios and assuming the grass really is greener on the other side. They feel an incurable restlessness. Men can, have, and will cheat on the most beautiful woman in the world. I remember a man telling me this line once: "No matter how hot a woman is, there is a man in her life who is sick of her bullshit". Really put the male psyche into perspective for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 11:03 AM
69

It's all about prescreening. You can exchange pics through the apps before meeting up (as a general rule, don't give out your social media accounts to strangers and don't move off old platforms to other messaging services until you've thoroughly vetted a guy). If the pic looks old, low quality, or suspicious ask for a video chat. If they refuse or make stupid excuses as to why they can't, block and move on. If you know their first and last name you can Google search for social media accounts and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 02:46 PM
34

Have strict standards for the father of your children and refuse to compromise! Stop letting these LVM spread their genes. Your potential kids deserve better than some selfish, shitty, lowlife loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 02:36 PM
8

I mean, sis, if you're deadset on a bio kid and can't find a HVM then your only real option is to use a sperm bank and go it alone. Research it as your plan B and talk to women who have done it to get an idea of what it's like to take that path.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 02:29 PM
68

Because murder isn't an "embarrassment to the family"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 09:49 AM
21

The only thing he might be good for is a place in the scrotation when you're bored with the other dudes you're seeing. If you're looking for a relationship don't bother, just block and move on. Don't be the rebound, don't be the free therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 07:22 AM
16

You have to prioritize what the best thing would be for your potential children. Sometimes that simply means not having them. Why would you want to bring your child into the world when the father is some piece of shit and you're going to be severely disadvantaged as a single mother? If you tally up all the pros and cons and the cons outweigh the pros but you choose to have a kid anyway I think that's a shitty thing to do to a kid. If you're that desperate maybe you should talk to a therapist to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 05:04 AM
18

We're not slaves to our biological impulses. Some women let go of the possibility and find fulfillment in other life pursuits. Many older professional women are freezing their eggs for later use. Some just use spermbanks and become single mothers by choice. Some adopt or become foster mothers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 04:45 AM
25

Choosing the father of your children is one of, if not the most important decisions of your life if you choose to have kids, because you and your children's quality of life depends so much on him, unless you are already independently wealthy. Single motherhood is difficult enough without having to deal with some asshole you're legally tied to for eighteen plus years. My point is, choosing a father is the last thing you want to compromise on or settle for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 04:32 AM
61

I would've blocked this fool after the first round of bullshit. I don't have time for that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 04:20 AM
19

Older professionals hang out in lots of places. Volunteering, social clubs, meetups, retreats, upscale gyms, etc. If you're in a shit area (rural, ultra conservative places if you're liberal, etc) then level up and move asap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 04:15 AM
26

Sis, you gave this fuckboy the girlfriend experience. You helped him move house!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 11:32 AM
3

I'm gonna repost something she said in another OP in a different sub a month ago: "Fast forward a month and all he's doing is goofing off in front of the computer. He spent all Thursday night, all day friday, and most of the day today doing absolutely nothing but dicking around playing video games. Fine." That's not a good balance of work and play. OP also complained that, prior to moving in together, they rarely saw each other despite living in the same area. Apparently this was due to her bf b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:12 AM
8

Video games are a non-productive hobby. What i mean by that is, nothing you do in game translates to gains outside of the game. Playing a sport or reading nonfiction books or sewing either have practical and/or positive health benefits. Think of all that time spent playing video games, and how much of that time is ultimately wasted... what does he have to show for thousands of hours sunk into a virtual world? He couldn't used that time to learn an instrument, get a black belt in a martial art, o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 04:03 AM
10

I'm curious to know if you're opting out of dating altogether or...?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:51 PM
7

You're aware now, that's the first step. I know it's painful, but it's better than being in a relationship with a user and abuser. Healing is absolutely possible, but it will take hard work and time. Finding a good therapist will be key to this process. Stay connected to the sub and read through the resources until you internalize the core concepts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:41 PM
12

If you had self esteem and good boundaries you wouldn't have dated him in the first place. You would have recognized him for the fuckboy he is and bounced. I know you have very little experience with romantic relationships, but a good relationship is nothing like what you experienced with this guy. I kbow you're hung up on "chemistry", but remember that fuckboys thrive on dickmatizing women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:25 PM
13

You're misunderstanding. If you had come into your Queenhood prior to meeting this guy, you wouldn't have even gotten to a first date because you would have picked up on the redflags immediately and blocked him accordingly. One of the core values of FDS is that we know we can't change men-we judge men at face value, not on potential. We don't invest time and energy trying to mold and encourage them into better versions of themselves, because it's futile. If a man truly desires to become the best…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:20 PM
8

Of course he says he still wants you. You gave him the girlfriend experience without any real commitment on his part. You endlessly put up with all his bullshit, gave him a million and one chances, and rarely followed through with any consequences. Fuckboys like him love women like you because they can receive a maximum of benefits for very little effort on their part. They know they can breadcrumb you to keep you around. Think of the table scraps he's thrown that you've gobbled up with gratitud…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:09 PM
9

You've got a lot of work to do. You need to contact a therapist and do some intensive work on your PTSD and your lack of self-esteem and boundary issues. Until you get a good handle on those issues, you'll probably end up making the same mistakes you talk about in your post. You're deep into Pickmeisha and Bob the Builder mindsets. Go through the required reading posts on the wiki over and over again until you understand why you've acted and thought like a Pickmeisha and why you shouldn't ever a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 11:03 PM
83

The demands of medical school, residency, and fellowship can really fuck up someone's social skills if they weren't strong to begin with. You're constantly sleep deprived, stressed out, and never given enough time to develop a real connection to the people you see most often (patients), and you're constantly meeting new patients, and I think it warps doctors' perspectives, attitudes, and behaviors toward people in general.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 10:41 PM
23

That would mean exerting energy that would be put to better use elsewhere, like self improvement. I'm a big proponent of the idea that the best revenge is a life well-lived. Someone can do something horrible to you but if you can work through it and come out better for the adversity then you win, hands down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 10:31 PM
25

"You can cook and care for him after he puts a ring on you." Not even then! If he can't handle his fair share of the domestic work he's gone. I'm not his mother, maid, or personal chef.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 12:53 AM
15

Nah sis. You fuck up once with me and you're gone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/19 12:46 AM
6

This will not fix the underlying problem OP has and may even make it worse. Not to mention if he finds out he would be well within his rights to dump her. I know I would break up with someone immediately if they did that to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/19 09:59 PM
1

Planned Parenthood and the Public Health Dept are two different things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/19 10:49 PM
8

Sis, a lot of local health settlements do free std tests.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/19 11:20 AM
9

Having a good career is for YOU, not for them. Being financially dependent upon a man is bad because you always want an out should the relationship go south; if he's paying your bills then you're going to stay longer out of necessity, just to survive. Obviously we want too avoid those situations. It sounds like you've got a plan to develop your career further, so just keep at it. Career building takes time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 05:41 PM
6

We get advice posts all the time. Message the mod team to get details on why it was blocked and resubmit with suggested tweaks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/12/19 07:06 AM
13

All the stuff about having to sacrifice to the polycule is spot on. What I've noticed in a lot of polycules is that there tends to be a het married couple at the center that everything revolves around, and they receive the most benefits, because they tend to be settled down, with a house they own, and sometimes kids are involved (I don't think it's ethical to mix kids and poly either, but that's a whole other discussion), and everybody ends up following whatever program they're running, because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 05:23 AM
52

It's because they treat women as objects, as status symbols. They are just fine dating a woman they don't personally like if she elevates himself in the eyes of his peers somehow (that "somehow" usually being in how conventionally attractive she is).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/19 12:54 AM
24

There are a lot of gay male polycules out there but they tend not to mingle with the larger poly community.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/19 08:27 AM
16

I love leveling up for its own sake. There's always something to learn about or improve upon or experience. I find it much more rewarding to invest in myself and female friendships than romantic relationships with men. So motivation isn't a problem for me, generally. I think that one you start achieving smaller goals for yourself that success creates its own momentum and eventually you turn into a high achiever, it's great. So just focus on getting the ball rolling. One thing that helps is to be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 06:52 PM
2

I like the way you think.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 06:32 PM
16

There's an older post called "art of the tease" that goes into it, just use the search function.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 08:58 AM
14

If the sex bots have arrived by 2050 society will be thoroughly sex segregated, as men won't even bother with real women if they can get an AI woman that never ages, never says no, and be can manufactured to his specifications. Pregnancy will probably happen primarily through artificial insemination. Women will be stuck raising children alone, or through forming families with other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 08:51 AM
13

Seconding therapy, but in the meantime, get into the gym (or work out at home), eat a healthy diet if you're not already, and start thinking about what you should do to start improving your career. Which might mean switching. I wouldn't recommend dating until you've been in therapy and the two of you have decided it's time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/19 12:52 AM
10

He got upset because of what you said and reflexively lashed out. Lots of people have done something similar. It sucks but keep in mind you basically told him "I used you" and that's not a pleasant parting gift, either. So you're probably even. Not every relationship ends amicably and that's okay. Life is full of uncertainties, especially when it involves other people. Now that you're done with toxic men, you get a fresh start. Embrace the opportunity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 09:16 PM
3

Just wait until you get to the continuum of rape part. It blew my mind, in a really sad way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 08:39 PM
33

This is why I advocate for people to forgo texting in favor of getting to know one another in person, face-to-face. I've known too many women who catch feelings for a dude they've either never met or have only been on one or two dates with because they've been texting each other nonstop for weeks and they say shit like "hE tOtAlLy GeTs mE!" because they start spilling deeply personal shit to these dudes without taking the time to vet them. Inevitably they all end up heartbroken because the dude …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 05:39 PM
5

You can provide him with your reasoning and give him with all the resources about why porn is harmful to a relationship but be prepared for him to never change, because in all likelihood that's exactly what will happen. What you really need to ask yourself is: How long am I willing to wait for any changes to happen? Am I comfortable going forward with this with the understanding that I will never know the truth about his porn use with any degree of certainty (because he could easily lie to me an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 03:51 PM
15

Wait, you actually told this man about this sub? I.... don't understand why you would do that. If you did, you played yourself. This dude could have looked up the sub on his own time, decided he didn't like what he saw, and chose to punish you for it by skipping out on an expensive dinner so you'd have to pay for it. NEVER mention this sub and your personal involvement with it to a man. EVER. There's no benefit whatsoever to doing so. Most men who look into it here won't have a good reaction to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 03:22 PM
59

Read Loving to Survive by Dee Graham. She says that male violence has caused women as a group to have Stockholm Syndrome.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 07:25 AM
43

it's a bad look all around. The LVM get excited about it because they see a good opportunity to take advantage of you, and HVM will find it distasteful, because it signals a variety of potential things that high value people in general want to screen for (addiction, lack of decorum and self control, lack of regard for their time and attention, etc.).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 10:42 PM
17

Body positivity is on its way out in psych/therapy circles and is being slowly replaced with body neutrality, which is heavily informed by acceptance and commitment therapy. The emphasize shifts from trying to love your body to fully accepting it as it is without trying to change anything. There's a great book called Living with your Body and Other Things You Hate by Emily K Sandoz that I highly recommend. There are also audio recordings available on the publishers site for all of the exercises …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 08:02 PM
33

Any man that can be this nonchalant about physically hurting someone they say they love is low value by default. If you can get off to hurting and humiliating someone, you don't really love them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/19 07:19 PM
12

Oh my god, that reminds me, apparently all those male Red Cross volunteers and UN Peacekeeper dudes do the same shit when they travel to third world/impoverished countries. Just hit up all the brothels or solicit prostituted women on the streets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/19 07:02 AM
37

I read a whole ass book about sex tourism, it was depressing as fuck. A lot of hotshot young executives jetting to a bunch of impoverished countries to horrifically abuse prostituted women sexually because they could get away with it there. And all the old, nasty divorced men who regularly vacation in central and south America to rape underage prostitutes. Truly disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 11:09 PM
61

Oh, and another thing. If a man frequents countries known for sex tourism, dump him immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 08:52 PM
65

Men are shit. This reminds me of a man who was a father to two children. The first he had in his 20s, with a woman he didn't love, and he shortly abandoned both after the birth. He sent child support but hated it, and he resented them both for the "undue burden" it caused him. Later, in his late 30s, he met a woman that he fell in love with and she became pregnant after they got married. He was overjoyed. He was a hands-on, doting father who gave everything to his son. When a friend asked him wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 08:49 PM
13

Maybe you can help me with something. Awhile back I stumbled upon a reddit post talking about attachment therapy, and one of the comments mentioned a researcher who is developing the ideas further and challenging the notion that people have a fixed attachment style, that it can be much more dynamic and can change depending on an individual relationship, which has been my experience. I never bookmarked or saved that comment and I'm kicking myself because I'd love to read more about that researche…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 06:02 PM
14

You're not going to be happy with much of the advice you're about to get, because most of it will be to either dump him or remove him all the way down your rotation of men. The biggest problem here is that you've already established you will put up with bad behaviour and run back to him quickly. You're already worried he's sliding back into old habits and, inevitably, he will. Men well almost always return to the baseline of least effort they feel that can get away with once the crisis passes. T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 06:14 AM
11

I think it's a great idea to take yourself out. There's nothing wrong with exploring new experiences, sensations, places, etc on your own. Personally, I love doing things like that solo. I get to enjoy the experience on my own terms without worrying if someone else will be bored or want to leave. I know a lot of people get self conscious about, say, going to eat in a restaurant alone, but I LOVE it. I take a book and immerse myself in it and eat good food at the same time, it's great. I have man…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/19 05:59 AM
3

Just because someone ends up in last place in a hierarchy doesn't mean that the guy occupying that space is deadweight, sis. That last place guy can still be beneficial. Last place doesn't automatically mean "total loser". If that guy stops offering an overall benefit then of course he should be dropped.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 09:03 PM
2

I read the whole post, sis. I know you're not against multidating. I was adding to a comment from brainsandb00bs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 08:50 PM
1

I think it's a good way to find out what really matters to you in a relationship, seeing a bunch of different traits in men and comparing them to each other in a close timeframe. Women who date one man at a time don't get the same advantage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 08:12 PM
4

You were never his goddess, sis. Goddesses dont get treated like you did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 08:07 PM
38

This post is muddling the concept of a Pick Me, who is in essence a doormat extraordinaire desperate for male approval and attention, and often closely associated with tradfem values. The quintessential RPW, in other words. I don't understand why you say ranking men in your rotation isn't Queen Shit. Why do you care? Just because you happen to like some men more than others, or for different reasons, doesn't necessarily mean that any one of them is dead weight. As long as the woman is benefiting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 07:58 PM
42

Many men are orgasm chasers. If there's an opportunity to get off with someone else's body rather than their own hand (though there are plenty of pornsick limp dicked men with ED these days) they'll take it. Since then they're such opportunists, they often don't have any ability to delay gratification, and they're often incapable of patience. They don't want to wait very long to fuck if they are dating someone. They don't know what it's like to build sexual tension and enjoy the process. Or what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 06:43 PM
5

I have a small handful of male friendships. Two happen to be exes, and one is like a little brother to me. There are no lingering romantic or sexual feelings between me and the exes, thankfully. I have a deep connection with each one, but there always comes a point where I get sick of their male bullshit and need time away. My boundary game with each one is STRONG, because they will drain me of all my energy and emotional resources if I let them. I also don't prioritize them in the way I do my f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 09:17 AM
7

There are experiences in life, especially those that involve other people, where you'll never get closure, or find out exactly why someone did or didn't do something, and no amount of handwringing is going to change that. I don't understand why you became emotionally invested in this guy in the first place, or why you continue to be. He seems really indecisive and a poor communicator. But you seem just as indecisive. What is this really about? That you wanted to fuck this dude and you're disappo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 01:19 AM
3

Cognitive behavioral therapy and meditation sis. Start meditating every day. You can get apps that do guided meditations to help you get started. You can't control your emotions but you can control how you react to them, and meditation and CBT will help you develop that ability. Talk therapy can also be helpful, if you need to process some stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 10:38 PM
7

There definitely aren't enough HVM to go around for all the HVW out there. I think HVM will become dwindle in numbers as time goes on because there are fewer and fewer incentives for men to rise above and become exceptional. I don't know that a LVW city's end up with a HVM... because a HVM would be discerning about his choice of partner. A LVW probably wouldn't interest him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 06:30 PM
11

Completely agree. Financial independence is crucial in this day and age. It's why I think women are better off focusing on their careers and building a solid financial foundation rather than relying on men to help them out. I've seen too many women stuck in bad relationships because they were financially dependent on the guy. Some of those guys were deliberately abusive financially. Really sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 07:20 AM
32

Lol, this fanfiction
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 07:02 AM
26

Take the loss, block his ass, and keep it moving. Read all the material on the sub's recommended reading list. Start working to improve yourself in all areas of life if you haven't already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 07:00 AM
86

Men are conditioned to orgasm as quickly and efficiently as possible. Men always have porn to fall back on as a quick substitute and I really do think men essentially see sex with a woman as using her body to masturbate with, rather than actually exchanging mutual pleasure/deepening intimacy/what have you. They get real put out when a woman suggests they actually delay their own orgasms for the sake of a woman's pleasure. It's fucking wild.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 03:04 AM
13

The personal is political, and I will absolutely judge someone for their kinks. Any man who can receive pleasure from sexual violence committed against a woman (I don't care if someone consents to it) is a sick, depraved person who is not fit to be a partner. To think that someone who purports to love you can orgasm when they strike you, humiliate you, or play out twisted rape scenarios is disturbing. That's not healthy, vibrant love. That's a depraved fetishist who had the ability for severe co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 02:16 AM
22

I hate that "kinks" are a thing at all, that people seemingly can't exchange mutual pleasure without involving sexual paraphilia. I also hate that there's zero willingness to confront these paraphilias and be critical about how they came up, how to confront and dismantle them. If you call something a kink critical engagement goes completely out the window, because you apparently can't criticize anything so long as someone's getting off to it. Modern society treats sexuality from what philosopher…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 02:09 AM
4

No worries! I have to say it's nice to have an even tempered conversation about sticky subjects for once. I really appreciate your patience and willingness to stay engaged.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 06:06 PM
3

Spoiler alert, I'm bi myself. I'm well aware of the wariness many lesbians have toward bi women, and of the biases people in general have of them. The thing is, I've come to feel the same way as I've made my journey from being a male-focused bi woman to a woman-focused one. I've lived the mistakes that make lesbians wary of us. Love, romance, and sex are very different between the sexes and I entered into my first wlw relationship acting like a straight girl, because I didnt know any better , an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 05:22 PM
4

Wait, I'm confused. He got erections with you but didn't want to meet you? So you were never together in person? You were doing sexual stuff online instead?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 10:04 PM
1

You don't need to cape for men, sis. Your blame is misplaced. You're blaming women for male depravity, and the sexual revolution of the 60s and 70s as the beginning of the end. Men have been fully depraved well before that, though. Read Susan Brownmiller's Against Our Will and Gerda Lerner's The Creation of Patriarchy for an in depth look at this. For example, rape of women by men has been a primary tactic of war since forever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 08:29 PM
35

Erectile dysfunction is becoming an epidemic amongst young men because of porn use. Could be that these men have it and didn't want to try and possibly feel humiliated when they couldn't get it up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 08:21 PM
2

FDS isn't a monolith. Acknowledging the widespread depravity of men is literally a major part of this sub (we have a whole ass tag just for it!). FDS certainly advocates finding a HVM, but there aren't enough of them to go around for all the HVW out there. Society doesn't incentivize men to become HVM at all, and discussing why that is is part of the reason why the mods post articles like these.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 08:09 PM
7

It wasn't a comment directed toward you personally. I included it to comment that porn watching affects women who love women adversely too. "Lesbian" porn has nothing to do with female pleasure or real lesbian sex, but a lot of bi women consume it before entering into relationships with lesbian women and it can create problems.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 07:46 PM
16

Susan Brownmiller, from her book "Against Our Will: Men, Women, and Rape" “There can be no 'equality' in porn, no female equivalent, no turning of the tables in the name of bawdy fun. Pornography, like rape, is a male invention, designed to dehumanize women, to reduce the female to an object of sexual access, not to free sensuality from moralistic or parental inhibition. The staple of porn will always be the naked female body, breasts and genitals exposed, because as man devised it, her naked bo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 09:30 PM
2

Depends on how hardcore you are about FDS. If you're spinning plates constantly the answer is probably never, because you don't want the men you're seeing to be aware of each other and most of those relationships will never go anywhere substantial anyway. You don't want to give men direct access to your personal life until they've been through vetted and you have a serious, mutual commitment... which for strict FDS women means a ring on her finger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/19 10:38 PM
17

FDS is het-centric because it grapples a lot with how patriarchy influences male/female relationships, especially in romantic and sexual contexts. A lot of the strategies here take those influences into consideration. So a lot of it, naturally, won't apply to female/female relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 06:59 PM
30

He got what he wanted, a quick fling/fuck on vacation, and now he has no use for you. He never wanted anything more than that. Now that the two of you won't be crossing paths again this fuckboy doesn't need to say anything else to you. You caught feelings, I understand, but you need to let this go and take it as a lesson for the next fuckboy you meet. Fuckboys will tell you anything and everything to get you to sleep with them. They'll promise you the moon and stars of they think it'll get them …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 06:56 PM
5

He is a lazy man who reaps the benefits from having wealthy parents and does nothing to take advantage of those opportunities to finish school and get his career off the ground. You have to assume this will never change. He is showing you his true character. Are you willing to stay with a lazy man? It sounds like it, because you keep making excuses for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 07:04 PM
15

It's interesting to me that you came here to FDS to ask about how to be content with this low effort male. This mindset, of attempting to make yourself happy being with him despite his lack of initiative and work ethic, is not FDS at all. It's more in line with RPW. You never date potential. In FDS you always take men at face value. If he's this lazy now, how do you know he will even get a job when the time comes? I wouldn't be surprised if he drags his feet about that. Are you willing to put up…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 06:40 PM
3

Building a strong social support system is important. Find new friends to hang with. Volunteer, find a spiritual community if you're into that, get involved in local groups... put yourself out there and start building connections. One thing you have to remember is that friendships often outlive romantic relationships. So it's worth it to expend time, energy, and effort on sustaining and enriching this friendships. We've all been our known that girl who disappears when they get a boyfriend and th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 05:27 AM
11

I hear you girl. I don't want it either. A lot of blase attitudes here about it but for immunocompromised people herpes can be a living nightmare. Bottom line, everyone gets to choose what they're willing to risk their health for in a romantic/sexual relationship. It's your right to not want herpes and if someone has a problem with that they're not worth your time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/19 11:48 PM
15

Choking should never be done during sex, period. It is not safe. I've seen women here in this sub talk about having it as a kink and it blows my mind that modern sexual mores have greenlit sexual violence. So long as you call it a kink, anything goes now. It's awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/19 08:51 PM
12

surprise! he's also a porn addict according to her post history.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/19 08:16 PM
22

If I'm understanding your post right, you're the one trying to escalate a friendship into something more? That's not FDS. If a guy friend really wanted something more with you he'd ask you for a date. It's as simple as that. Women never escalate or ask men out in FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/19 08:00 PM
20

The HVW response is to dump him, because a HVW would know that he's not a HVM, he's a child. HVM know how to communicate without resorting to childish bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/19 07:49 PM
35

Don't submit to that sis. Your self esteem and self respect don't need that. And if you're in a position where that offer of money is going to make a big difference then focus your energy on getting to a better place in life. Regardless, block his ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/19 07:39 PM
15

Apps are for low effort moids and fuckboys. Where are the type of men you're interested in spending their free time? Explore coed hobbies or volunteer somewhere that men good men are likely to frequent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/19 07:34 PM
12

It's been two months. Move along. If this guy really liked you he would have asked for a date already (a real date, where he pays for dinner). Not some half-assed "come get drinks with my friends if you wanna" bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/19 12:32 AM
3

I always find this hard to answer because the "best" books I've read aren't necessarily the books that have made me a better person, or the books that I've enjoyed the most. Are you looking for recommendations? If you can narrow down what you're looking for I can probably rattle some stuff off. Otherwise I'd probably end up listing 100 books.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 05:01 PM
6

I'm: in school, earning a degree for a career change transitioning to a whole foods, plant-based diet reconnecting with old friends and strengthening those relationships volunteering for orgs that I believe in working out at the gym regularly, both cardio and weightlifting working on creative projects in my spare time on track to read 75 books for the year, mostly nonfiction books
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 07:27 AM
14

https://np.reddit.com/r/Marriage/comments/drja6g/a_letter_to_my_husband/f6j4nog/ Oh my God. One of the comments on that post is from a woman who gave up her daughter because her husband was a total piece of shit and played on his phone all day instead of taking care of her and resented his own kid's existence so he got rid of her. The daughter lives with a grandparent far away from her mother... and the mother is still with this trash and still loves him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 08:23 PM
12

I'll be out here living my best life regardless of whether or not a man is in the picture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 08:24 PM
5

I'm not going anywhere, sis. I'm going to continue to comment and write posts. Your only comments in this entire subreddit are only in this post, within the last 24 hours. I don't think you get this sub if you feel the need to cape on the behalf of men. Read the sidebar, we don't give a shit about male feelings here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 08:19 PM
28

Catfish, married, fug. Take your pick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 07:36 PM
6

No shit. And I said that you, as a mother, can't singlehandedly overcome the society your sons are raised in. Not that any one individual can't overcome the society they're born in. And yeah, the vast majority of men are trash and I don't have hope for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 07:34 PM
10

There are women producing and directing porn, but it isn't lucrative. Men don't care for it. Men don't want to watch pornography that centers female pleasure and that lacks sexualized violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 03:51 AM
12

As a parent she can only do so much, because in the end, her children have to choose to become HVM. Our society doesn't incentivize that kind of behavior at all. Why do you think so many women here, despite being amazing high value women, lament the total lack of options when it comes to HVM? They are few and far between, and they will only become moreso. Mothers are often blind as to the nature of their male children. All of the trash tier men and fuckboys running around out here had/have mothe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 03:45 AM
8

Artificially intelligent sexbots will be the final nail in the coffin when it comes to male/female relationships. I would be thrilled about it except that women are still going to be tasked with birthing and raising any children. Men well just be sperm donors. Governments would have to put in pretty cushy incentives for women to become mothers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 11:04 PM
-2

Wtf, if you're not a moid larping as a woman then you are severely pornsick and need therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 10:59 PM
21

It will never happen. The cat's out of the bag and it isn't going back in. In South Korea porn is illegal but do you know what they have an epidemic of in its place? Spy cams in public (and private) restrooms, changing rooms, spas, etc., and a huge black market for the selling of these vids, which includes children. Porn is here to stay. The only option is to opt out of consuming it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 10:49 PM
13

You can't overcome the society they're born into. Your sons will most likely access pornography early and often. You can't vet every single friend that have. You can only do so much as a parent. Ultimately they are the only ones who can decide if they want to become a HVM. Unfortunately, society gives them too few reasons to become one. Also, coming here and using a misogynistic slur is a bad look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 10:46 PM
7

Your sister is right. But otherwise, you go into relationships and pin a fantasy onto a man who hasn't done anything to suggest he can fulfill it. You fall in love with an idea of a man (and the fantasy of the relationship the two of you could have together) that has very little if nothing to do with reality, so you invest incredible amounts of time and emotional energy trying to will into existence something that is impossible, because you can't see and judge a man at face value. And when it en…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 08:38 PM
16

Your job is a huge liability if you want to find a good relationship. Men didn't respect women who do this type of work, they are usually disgusted by it. I'm not saying it's fair, that's just how men are. What you're doing now might be lucrative, but it's not a career. I would suggest that you start looking into finding a career that you can grow and thrive in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 05:45 PM
17

Build a fantastic life for yourself that has nothing to do with men or dating. Find a fulfilling hobby, crush it at your career, make and keep an amazing set of friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 05:33 AM
1

It could be. In the future, if he (or anyone else) asks you for a date, say your availability is on the weekend only. All your weekdays are booked forever (doesnt matter if it's true or not, you're busy and it's only your business what you're doing with that time). If he refuses to make a date for the weekend, something is probably suspicious and that's when you dump him and move on. DO NOT, under any circumstances, accept a weekday date after that, ever. That just tells a guy that you're willin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 05:15 AM
1

Damn, that was fast. And yeah, these women are strolling in here without reading the sidebar and get upset because they expected... I don't know what. A pat on the shoulder and a "there, there dear"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 05:04 AM
2

You can have sex whenever you want but if you want an actual relationship you need to wait. This guy already got what he wanted from you (sex) so don't be surprised if nothing more comes from him, unless he just wants another hookup. Read the sidebar and recommended posts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 04:55 AM
14

Oof. Girl, you fucked up. Never tell a new guy that you've had bad experiences in the past like that. You're basically signalling that you're damaged goods, and that's a green flag for jerks and fuckboys. Also, lol, "modified friends". That's a red flag. You need more confidence for FDS. And never tell men about your baggage. You set the pace of the relationship, you don't ask a guy what his intentions are. You let his actions tell you. And if they aren't up to your high standards, you dump him …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 04:50 AM
3

Sis, you're already making excuses for this guy. You're not in control here, he is. That should concern you. You're coming into this situation from a place of desperation and weakness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 08:12 PM
6

You might be a mistress/side-piece. Not meeting the kids isn't unusual (Imo that shouldn't happen for a long time, kids need stability and they don't need to meet dad's dates) but not meeting any friends may a cause for concern. Is he divorced? What's going on with his kid's mother? have you done any background checks/vetting? You say he's revealed some other red flags in conversation. What are they?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 06:48 PM
2

Well, you played yourself so... you're not going to be able to escape the consequences. The only thing you can do is make sure you're on your best behavior around these people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 06:18 PM
52

A relationship isn't a guarantee against loneliness, especially if you end up with a low value man because you just wanted to have someone to be with. Unfortunately, having high standards means having far fewer serious prospects and having to weed through an overabundance of trash men. It sucks though and can be demoralizing, I get it. Take a break if you need to. If hanging out with married friends is getting to you, consider finding some single girls to befriend. Maybe find a therapist to help…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/19 06:07 PM
1

You're a man, your opinion isn't welcome here.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 10:25 PM
3

Claims to be female, but only other post is a selfie photo of a dude in rateme. Okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/19 10:08 PM
10

Absolutely not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/19 12:02 AM
7

Are you looksmaxxing? Photos are what hook men first and foremost with OLD. Join Photofeeler and see what people have to say about your profile pics. Do you give off nerd vibes? Think Mayim Bialik. Because men in general tend not to go for women like that. If that's your thing you might have better luck in nerd spaces.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/19 04:17 PM
7

Begone, moid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 07:56 PM
8

Sis, you're talking to a moid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 05:32 PM
5

You can communicate standards with actions. If men were really willing to self reflect then they'd see a block as an "opportunity for self reflection".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 04:35 PM
12

Men understand why they've been ghosted, blocked, or ignored, but they didn't like to admit it to themselves because the shame makes them feel very uncomfortable. Saying "that woman who blocked me was a crazy bitch" is just a form of protection. If men aren't willing to self reflect, and the vast majority of them aren't, then it doesn't matter what women do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 04:26 PM
18

He doesn't respect you, just move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 03:07 AM
23

Never accept last minute dates. Never accept a weekend date past Wednesday. Tell these men that you're busy (even if you're not), what you're up to is none of their business, and if they cry about it block and move on. This guy sounds like a loser, tbh. Get rid of him and find other men to date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/19 03:07 AM
4

Take a quick look through their profile and their comment history will let you know if it isn't obvious upfront.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 07:59 PM
15

Never go on last minute dates. Next time, when a guy flakes, just decline to reschedule, block, and move on. Nobody has time for that wishy washy shit. Btw, "i value my freedom" is code for "I only care about my own needs and hate commitment".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 03:31 PM
13

You just pulled a "NoT aLl MeN!!!" On this sub. Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 03:27 PM
19

NEVER chase. NEVER make the first move. If he actually likes you, he'll do all the work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/19 03:23 PM
4

Oh, I see. All you have to do in that situation is look to see if their words match up with their actions. Be ruthless in your judgments. For example, if he tells you he has lofty career goals, but he's been sitting in a low level position for the last two years, it's safe to assume he doesn't actually care to hustle to move on up. When he falls to accomplish something, notice how he acts. Does he blame everyone but himself? Is he incapable of taking responsibility? Does the failure light a fire…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 08:07 PM
19

Sis, don't lie to yourself. A guy that treats a woman like an object, like shit, like he did with you, aren't "genuinely good guys". They're fuckboys, trash by default. He strung you along to get the girlfriend experience without actually having to commit. You're pretty young, so I would suggest focusing on school and your career in your twenties. Date around, but don't fall into a serious relationship unless he's absolutely stellar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 05:18 PM
10

Girl, what are you doing? No, it's not worth it. If these so-called relationships were with men that actually have a shit they'd fly out to meet you or pay for you to see them. Unless, that is, they knew you were underage and didn't want their pedophile asses exposed. Stop talking to men online. Stop being the fantasy girlfriend online unless you're somehow making bank from it. A real relationship is nothing like that. Meet guys in person and start getting some real experience. Online men are ea…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 02:43 PM
3

Sometimes fuckboys want the girlfriend experience without actually making you a girlfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 01:21 PM
5

I don't quite understand. Are you not talking to him about your dealbreakers early on? Are you unsure about what you really want? If your standards are crystal clear and you have strong boundaries, you should be able to weed out guys pretty early just by talking to them and getting to know them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 01:17 PM
9

We been knew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 01:02 PM
14

And she's only 22...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 12:58 PM
11

You have to perform your own background checks on these guys, smh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/19 12:57 PM
20

Honestly I think women would be a lot happier forming family groups with several other women, raising children in that environment if that's important to them, and only consorting with men for relationships that never end in cohabitation and/or marriage. A few months back I read an article about 8 Chinese women polling their money together and buying a huge mansion in China, and I hope more women consider it going forward. It's a shame that the nuclear family is so ingrained in our societal psyc…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/19 10:00 PM
7

Jesus Christ. I would divorce that dude pronto. A spouse is supposed to be supportive and caring... but he's making this scary, awful situation all about him. Disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/19 04:14 PM
11

You gave way too much of yourself too soon. Don't get super personal with a guy until he proves he's invested in you and trustworthy. In general, stop getting to know people over text or any other means of distant communication. That should only happen in person. Only use texting or phone calls to set up the next date. You want to stay mysterious, and you want make a guy work to get to know you, which means taking you on a nice date and spending time together in person. This is part of the chase…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/19 02:50 AM
1

I think you'd be fine disclosing that, but realize you're going to encounter some assholes who will think that's too much because they've got weird virgin complexes about women. If that happens laugh in his face and bounce because you don't have time for that foolishness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 05:32 PM
5

Dump him. This is not a healthy relationship and he is not a good man. He's trash and he needs to be kicked to the curb asap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/19 03:04 AM
7

I'm going to preface this by saying I probably have a below average body count for a woman my age. Like, four people. All of the sex I've had has happened in the context of a committed romantic relationship that lasted for multiple years. All of my partners waited months after we were exclusive before sex took place. So, for me, it doesn't feel like a gamble to tell a man that. If he thought that was too much, I'd laugh and dump him immediately. But anyway, being honest probably isn't going to a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 10:05 PM
9

The "against all reason" is the point and should give you pause. Several users have pointed out all the excuses you've been making for this guy, because no one in control of a situation makes excuses like this, period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 09:47 PM
4

You seem determined to fuck him against all reason. Obviously none of us can stop you from making that mistake. Just don't be shocked if it turns out terribly for you when the dust settles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 09:39 PM
20

Reread your post. You want to explore your sexuality with a known fuckboy who lasts only 2 minutes in bed? How does that benefit you exactly? You know he's spewing bullshit yet you're making excuses for him already. You admit to making mistakes already with this guy. And yet you think you're going to be the one to come out ahead in the end? You might think you have the upper hand right now but you don't, he does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 06:52 PM
14

I didn't say anything about falling for him. If you're deadset on having a fwb find someone better than this loser fuckboy still living with mommy and daddy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 06:36 PM
27

Girl. You're playing yourself. You know he's a fuckboy yet you're falling for all his bullshit? Nah. Remind yourself that fuckboys will say and do anything to get you to keep fucking them. Block his ass and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 06:32 PM
11

It's not a matter of age, it's a matter of priorities. Self-disciplined people do the things that are hard but will bring them greater rewards and satisfaction in the long run. They make these decisions multiple times every single day. At some point, you have to override your desire to indulge in instant gratification.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 06:23 PM
2

Stop "hanging out" and go on actual dates. They have to pay for everything. Expect nothing less from any man. Stop being the girl that's down to hang out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 06:15 PM
3

Start performing some basic background checks and vet these dudes before you spend any serious time with them. That means looking at their social media, googling their name, etc. Also, stop "hanging out" with guys. Go on proper, high quality dates where the men pay for everything ONLY. Disengage completely with anyone who's evasive when you ask them basic questions about their life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 06:14 PM
16

You say "The way you're speaking to me is not acceptable." And then you lay out your requirements for proper behavior. If they try to argue about it, or keep doing the shit you just told them not to, cut them out of your life. No second (or third or fourth) chances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 06:02 PM
8

Time to get a new, engrossing hobby. You do not want to spend a lot of time pinning over this guy. Stay busy, stay distant, and let him do the chasing and initiating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 02:02 AM
2

Sit back, relax, and let him do all the work. Start dating other men while you're at it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 01:43 AM
12

Stop being friends. Block him on everything and never see or speak to him again. He only wants to play games and use you for companionship when it suits him. Work on your social life so you have good friends who have more in common with you. Stop hanging around fuckboys, full stop. You played yourself getting with this guy despite knowing exactly what he is. You're not special to him (if you were, he'd treat you well) and fuckboys specialize in telling women what they think they want to hear to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/19 01:41 AM
50

You're confusing being nice and sweet with being a pushover who has no boundaries and no sense of self regard. You can be a nice and considerate person and not let other people walk all over you and abuse you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 08:05 PM
5

If he was interested in you, he'd have made the first move a long time ago. In FDS women never make the first move. Forget this guy, because you're holding a torch for someone who doesn't want to date you. Take the loss and move on, because wishful thinking won't change his mind. There are plenty of other guys to talk to in college, don't spend this time in your life pining for someone who doesn't want you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 06:35 PM
5

With a married man? A high value woman is no man's sidepiece. Ever. Nor does any man worth talking to cheat on their spouse. This isn't the sub for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/19 05:55 AM
66

How old are you? I would avoid college age men altogether because they're living in a fuckboy playground; there's very little incentive there to grow and mature into a respectable young man. And besides, most of them aren't going to have any money, anyway. If online dating is a bust, consider going to venues where high quality men congregate when you feel ready to date again. That could be a high class gym, a country club, meetup groups, group activities that revolve around hobbies, career semin…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/19 05:06 PM
1

My problem with modern supplementary sex ed (what you can find online) is that it promotes an anything goes approach. Porn, bdsm, fetishes, prostitution, and gender bullshit are all promoted as perfectly fine and critical examination of those topics isn't allowed. Some of it is bleeding into comprehensive sex ed programs in school even. For example, when discussing pregnancy, they'll refrain from using the biological terms male and female and use shit like "uterus haver" instead. With the ubiqui…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/19 04:54 PM
5

As a cautionary tale, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/19 04:39 PM
154

High quality men treat all women well, whether there interested in them romantically or not. It's important to their value system to be respectful, courteous, and kind across the board. Low quality men look for opportunities to expend minimal effort for maximum gain. They are inherently selfish and lack a strong moral center.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/19 04:26 AM
3

Okay girl. I'm sure that'll work out great for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 06:50 PM
5

What you are doing is emotionally manipulative. Get help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 05:43 PM
5

She asked for brutal honesty, and got some blunt (not brutal) responses. If someone needs to be handled with kids gloves, they're probably not ready for the content this sub has to offer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 03:23 PM
9

Your replies here make it obvious that you have severe self esteem issues and I would suggest that you find a therapist and make fixing that a major goal. Emotionally healthy people don't ask for brutal honesty and then crumble when they receive blunt opinions and constructive criticism. For you to meltdown and say things like "Forget it I'm going to die alone" after receiving what you asked for means that, a) you're either not emotionally aware and/or confident enough to ask for what you really…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 03:19 PM
4

The original text in the OP is gone but the thread itself is still around and you can view deleted content with unreddit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/19 02:48 PM
12

In my experience, actions speak louder than words, because with a lot of men, words go in one ear and out the other. However, if you have boundaries and actually enforce them, instead of giving a guy a million chances to make it up to you (which, let's be real, they never do), that tends to leave an impression. Men get so freaked out by it, because women are socialized to be pushovers who give "forgive" them every time they seriously fuck up, so when they encounter a woman who actually cuts them…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/19 02:56 PM
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