Not sure if this is the right place to post but it has to do with looks/personalitymaxxing and being a former ugly girl interloper I guess lol.
I was an ugly duckling through my adolescence and always had to be extra nice to people to make up for it. I have been looksmaxxing for a couple years now and because of it, I managed to get a legit Chad interested in me.
I have never outgrown my shy meek phase and during the relationship I was super attentive, sweet, loving towards him etc. Not boring, but definitely very affectionate and warm. Recently he dumped me and when I asked him why he said that I was ‘too focused on him, too loving, and too nice.’ And that even though he’d found me hot, being so into him made him feel like I wasn’t the prize anymore.
I was really shocked and upset about it. He dates Stacies and from what I’ve seen they are usually very vain, confident to the point of arrogant, demanding and self obsessed.
It has really been an eye opening experience for me. Of course I won’t stop being nice but it kind of saddens me that hot girls are expected to be bitchy, and that certain guys even find that bitchiness desirable. It has made me wonder if bitchiness is part of the hot girl mystique?
[–]ino_y19 points20 points21 points (3 children) | Copy Link
Sad we've been socialized to be sweet, demure, polite, kind, accommodating and subservient.
As soon as we act "normal" with healthy assertiveness, confidence, boundaries, and behave like we know our rights, our worth, and we can say No, we get called vain, demanding, aggressive and arrogant.. by other women.
and then incels call us sociopaths.
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Mm exactly, I can sniff the internalised misogyny stench from here. Those types are often very catty & unsuccessful, they want to be those women, but don't have it in them to play 'mean' like they do & assert firm boundaries. The looksmaxxing ain't gonna do shit if you don't upgrade your mindset/standards. You can't just look prettier and still be a meek doormat lmaooo. Men love 'bitches', they do ..they can deny it but they know they do. These days men are getting more in their feels/emotional than me & I love it, it makes cutting them off 50x easier. And I know its cos I have no fear about cutting them off, and they can smell it so they lose control. I'm not majorly affected since I like my own company & won't die without a boyfriend, but they are often seeking me (& other women) 4 validation to avoid facing themselves. So I win, even if they turn to be shits, they're more pressed about it.
I meet men all the time who were evidently the shy awkward friendzoned one in school, and despite being better looking now, still have that air of insecurity about them. I can usually tell within 3minutes what someone was like in highschool because of that.
For example the last fuckboy I dated was a typical hot chad asshole, but he mentioned to me at one point how he suffered with acne in school and that 'humbled' him during that period....and suddenly it clicked...he still had this insecure revengeful need to get one over on hot women who woulda knocked him back in school. It was like he was tryna make up for all that lost attention by being a fucking douche. People always missing the fact most of these fuckboys are insecure deep down lmao, don't let them kid you!
[–]Sharp_Attempt1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Believe it or not, women can be vain, demanding, aggressive and arrogant, just as men can. And yes I know the difference. Framing character flaws as positives just because they are women is retarded. Besides you have no idea who these women I’m referring to are.
[–]irrelephantphotonsFDS Disciple12 points13 points14 points (2 children) | Copy Link
Dudes love bitches. Don't be afraid to be one.
(I was always a doormat too and had to learn this the hard way... still learning...)
[–]modernmedusaaRuthless Strategist5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
Just practice yourself not giving a fuck about his validation and picture your ex boyfriends laughing about exploiting you behind your back...because fr they won't think twice about doing that. But you're gonna care about hurting their fee fees when they get disrespectful? Oo no child, not TODAY! Men are far more cowardly than most us women think when it comes to confronting their BS, they are always so shocked that a woman would dare to call them out. Oh and they will sit up straight fast when they know you're about your business.
[–]Sharp_Attempt1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
He clearly didn’t love bitches that much. He dumped all of them, usually after only a couple months or so. Our relationship still lasted the longest out of all of them, regardless. He has ASPD and is basically sociopathic so I think there were bigger issues at play here.
[–]s_slayerFDS STRATEGY COACH8 points9 points10 points (1 child) | Copy Link
I’ve found that being bitchy works with some more alpha men, but beta men sometimes can’t handle it. As far as being loving - I recommend doling it out in carefully controlled doses. Too much and they are definitely put off by it. Too little and they’ll get all insecure and crave it from you. Men will marry nice girls sometimes, but they might not be really happy with them. Being assertive is the key. I don’t hold back with men and I never have. I don’t sleep on things. I tell them how I feel. They rarely know how to respond because they’re men, but it makes them more attracted to you, it makes you unforgettable and they can’t get you out of their minds. Do you want to be the nice girl they think about sometimes, or the woman who stood up for herself, made them think, made them want to be better men and partners, didn’t coddle them, didn’t put up with their shit, and who they never forget because you left a mark on them that few other women have?
[–]Sharp_Attempt2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
But some of his past girlfriends were those bolshy confident take no shit types, and he hated all of his exes, that’s the thing. He didn’t seem to have one good thing to say about any of them. He told me once he couldn’t stand American and British women because he found them too assertive and obnoxious. That was a cue to me to reel it in. He’s a very confused conflicted person. I don’t even want to go into the amount of psychological and emotional intimacy issues he has.