Good morning gentlemen. This is going to be a long one.

I am, like so many of you have been, royally fucked.

At 19 I'd turned my entire life around. Went from a 260 b beta to a 160lb alpha. Decided college wasn't keeping my interest, so I was looking for ways to fast-track a career. And so, I enlisted in the Navy, deciding 6 years of experience in the NUC program would land me a solid job in infrastructure when I returned to civvie life.

It's April 2012. I'm sworn in and ready to ship to Great Lakes in September (Only two rounds of specialized warfare rates a year in basic, as told by my recruiter). I'm a social drinker/toker at this point in my life.

“Why is any of this relevant to this sub?"

She happened. White knighting for a bunch of drunk teenagers as a designated driver landed me an alcohol and possession charge. My security clearance was stripped, and this man wasn't resigning himself to grunt work for little pay and no workable experience.

(This is the important part) We're not even dating. We just fucked at a party in a flophouse owned and operated by a specialty vehicle club (because we don't like being labeled a ‘gang’).

And then beta-me takes over.

My life plan was thrashed. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. And so, I pursued her.

A decade of decisions later and here I am. 28, married with a son, down to my last $200 and almost 20k in debt. I'm employed, but just over the poverty line. I have fallen deep into a pit of vices. I'm in a neverending torrential shitstorm of a cycle of depression.

There are no grounds for divorce.

Yes, this is a throwaway because my financial security is on pins and needles. She is exactly who you all think she is, but there's more to it. The level of psychological abuse has escalated to full-scale apathy. I work 6-6:30, and commute 30 minutes a day. This bitch is up til 4 in the morning in the bedroom playing Call of Duty and watching fucking Degrassi on her phone. I'm sitting in the parking lot of my employer typing this, because this is the fifth time I've slept straight through my alarms and risked losing my job over a lack of sleep. I may be terminated when I walk in, I don't know.

So my question: is it too late?

A small addendum.

I made a classic mistake and sacrificed my health for "the good of the family." My once alpha appearance has turned to straw and feathers. I'm a measly 140lbs and my genetically British teeth are falling out of my head. To add to this, I have sacrificed countless hours of potential income in the name of "family time," that was fueled by a codependency that developed through methodical and thorough breaking of my psyche. I'm at the point I don't know if I can get off the sinking ship alive.